HIDDEN REFLECTIONS
by Rugeana
Summary: The Modern Love Story of Sean & Marita
1. INTRODUCTION

Part 1: INTRODUCTION  
  
  
Many times we examine our lives and wonder if events we encounter have even been reflected in someone else's life now or in another time. Then, in order to solve our probing questions, we try to envision how others would triumph over their fears and uncertainties in the midst of social insurrections. What we may find is that often seemingly impossible situations are not so impossible. We may toil over the ramifications of our actions, while we simultaneously struggle to do what is right for all involved; when actually, all we have to do is be true to God, to ourselves and to those who truly love us. Many times, though, we abandon this precept and give creed to unfounded social definitions of what is acceptable, and what we forget is that human perceptions, which define societal attitudes, are easily manipulated by each and every individual, who plays a part in this forever, developing nature of mankind. We fail to realize that the answers to our dilemmas can be found in not so far off places and even in our own history.   
  
Love, which is the basis from which all humankind was created and the foundation upon which we should develop as a human race, unfortunately, is one aspect of humankind that falls prey to negative perceptions of society. When we allow others to define our concept of love, be it through social class, ethnicity, age or race, we are betraying the reasons we were put here on this earth as a united brotherhood encompassing many varieties and dimensions.  
  
This narrative is developed to challenge these negative social attitudes toward interracial relationships in our society. It centers around a family, who through many generations, struggles with these attitudes involving love and loyalty, to the point that as the generations pass, they too conform and try to bury part of the Legacy that their forefathers, namely Ned and Sean Logan, fought to bring into the open. This story will hopefully illustrate how history repeats itself, and how we can sometimes find the answers to our troubling questions by studying our pasts and embracing the future by, individually, manipulating the present.  
  
The setting is both 1998 and the late 1800's with scenes taking place in Lexington Kentucky, Ohio, New York and Connecticut. The plot centers around the 7th generation of Logans (Ned Logan's grandfather being the 1st generation), particularly, the eldest son, Sean (great, great grandson of Sean & Marita Logan) and Elana Powers, the daughter of wealthy, African American, real estate mogul, George Powers. Sean and Elana became the closest of friends, while attending a private school together in Connecticut during their elementary and high school years. Eventually, the two fall deeply in love, but because of family and social pressures, they are torn apart with no hope of ever being reunited. Years go by and Sean, at 31 becomes President of Crealite, Inc. majority owned by the Logan family and one of the largest international shipping companies in the U.S. Everyone, including Sean expects him to marry Sheridan Winthrop, daughter of Ronald Winthrop, the Attorney General for Connecticut. Elana, at 29 is an equal partner of a growing New York CPA firm, Powers & Lambert, which she formed with Jonathon Lambert, a very intelligent and handsome African- American man whom she met through her father. Sean and Elana are thrown together after 9 years of separation when Crealite, Inc. falls into a financial scandal and mandates a major business redevelopment in which Powers & Lambert is contracted to resurrect the company. After finding each other again, will Sean and Elana also resurrect the love they only had a glimpse of for each other in their earlier years together, or will they again retreat seeking refuge in the safety of conformity? Only, William Logan, Sean's grandfather, holds the secret to their future happiness and success. A secret, which threatens to forever, be buried in the hidden reflections of the Logan Legacy.  



	2. TROUBLED WATERS

PART 2: TROUBLED WATERS  
  
Board Meeting at Crealite, Inc.  
  
"LOOK GENTLEMEN, I DON'T KNOW WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE KEEPING TRACT OF THESE DEVELOPMENTS, BUT IT SEEMS THAT MANY OF OUR KEY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN FALLING DOWN ON THE JOB! NOW WE ARE IN A BIG JAM!"  
  
Phillip Logan fumes at the other board members as he studies each one for a reaction to the recent news that Crealite would report a loss in its 4th quarter. It would be one of the largest drops in stock price for the company since the original Logan Thoroughbreds, Inc. had almost failed after the depression. This stock devaluation would prove detrimental to corporations who depend on Crealite to ship their goods throughout the European countries. Phillip Logan had not inherited the business savvy of his father William, who had come to the family's rescue in 1936 at the age of 24. At the time the family business was in breeding thoroughbreds that were sold as prized racehorses or as prize winning show horses. William decided that horse breeding was a dying business with the increasing onslaught of automobiles. After listening to the suggestions of his grandmother Marita, he determined that the Logan family should be involved in the shipping business, especially since many countries were still rebuilding after the war and needed American supplies to accomplish this. William sold off all assets under Logan Thoroughbreds and formed Crealite, Inc. which became a sudden success with shipping contracts worth millions of dollars pouring in. Before long, Crealite was one of the largest shipping companies in the U.S., but now, as the current board members sat at the conference table, Phillip saw that his company was waning, and if statistics continued declining in the following quarters, they would be out of business within 5 years. This would end what Phillip had always thought of as the Logan Legacy, having plenty of money to pass on to the next generation, which would ensure a place in history for the Logan family name.  
  
"I have taken the bull by the horn to stop this downward shift. Sean, as our new President has suggested that we undergo a rapid business redevelopment. This process will uncover who or what departments are causing our margins to close in on us and determine what direction we can take for the future. Last month I put out a request for proposal to procure a CPA firm to do this for us." Phillip picks up the stack of responses to the RFP from the conference table and dispenses four copies to each board member. "These are the firms that answered our request and we need to review each company to determine who will be best for the job. We will meet tomorrow afternoon at 1:30 to discuss the possibilities. Any questions gentlemen?" Phillip asked after a long pause he continued. "Well, I guess that's all until tomorrow."  
  
The board members and executives began their exit. Some looked intently at the packets as they left. Others remained behind to obtain more information from Phillip. Even though Sean was now President, many of the directors were not comfortable with him, feeling that he was too young to take on such a big responsibility, so they continued to look to Phillip on weighty matters such as these. Eventually, everyone cleared out of the boardroom except Sean and Phillip.  
  
Sean sat limply at the head of the conference table looking at one of the packets. Phillip studied his son and hoped that he would be able to combat the trials that lay ahead with the company. He had every confidence in Sean because his son had exhibited an uncanny sense of business even when he was a young boy. He had graduated at the top of his class in Harvard with an MBA and as far as Phillip was concerned Sean could have taken over at that time, but instead he was placed in an Executive Vice President position to learn about company politics and how things were run. After suffering a heart attack, resulting in triple bypass surgery, earlier that year, Phillip, at 53, felt it was time that his son took over, and he remained CEO. Noticing the developing signs of stress on his son's face, Phillip walked over to him and placing his hand on Sean's shoulder said...  
  
"Hey, son, if anybody can turn this thing around you can. Don't get too worried about it now, you will have plenty of time for that. You need to keep your mind clear so that we can crawl out of this rut we're in, and I know you will be able to do that for us son, because your grandfather said that you are so much like your great, great grandfather, Sean, who always knew how to solve situations that seemed to be problematic. We named you after him because granddad said you looked so much like him, so it would not be hard to think that you also inherited a lot of his knack for business and if that is the case, I know I can count on you."  
  
"Thanks, dad. I wish great, great grandfather was here now to help us out of this, but I do have a few ideas that I'll share tomorrow at the meeting. I'm going to formulate them this evening."  
  
"Well, make sure to look over these companies, son to make a recommendation for the CPA firm." Phillip reminded him.  
  
"I think I'll let the board members select the company. I want them to know that I trust their judgement and that I don't intend to be a President who always has the last word."  
  
Phillip turns around and picks up his paperwork then heads toward the door. "Well, you do have the last word son. Don't forget that. " Phillip departs from the boardroom leaving Sean to himself.  



	3. YOUNG LOVE

Part 3: YOUNG LOVE  
  
Sean could not tell his father that the worried look on his face was not because of the condition of the company stock portfolio, but it was because of a piece of his past that sat printed before him on the crisp white paper with expertly designed letterhead. "Powers & Lambert" it read. He had read the introductory letter and he fixated on the signature of the woman he had tried to forget. "Elana M. Powers, CPA". Her name was engraved on a forgotten part of his heart and her signature burned across the hidden recesses of his mind. At one time he had felt he would wither away for lack of her presence, and now, at the mere sight of her name, small waves of panic shot through his body, and he silently prayed that her company would not be selected because he did not want to know what effect encountering her again would have on him.  
  
What permeated his thoughts was the year that they revealed their feelings for each other, discovered the passion between them and discovered the seeming inevitability of their being together. It had all began in 1983; he was 18, a senior in high school, and she was 16 a junior. He and Elana had attended Friends Select, a private Quaker school in Greenwich, Connecticut all of their lives together, and before he had graduated from high school he remembered their conversation...  
  
  
May, 1984  
Friends Select School  
  
"Hey, Elana, can you meet me at the Café after school, I need to talk to you about something."  
  
"Sean, you've almost finished your final exams, and you have aced every class so what do you need my help with today?"  
  
"I didn't say I needed your help, Elana, I said I needed to talk to you about something. So will you meet me?"  
  
"Give me a good reason, Sean. I'm busy. I'm taking all accelerated classes, and I hope to be graduating early myself next year, so most of my time is spent studying. I can't be hanging out all afternoon with you." Elana retorted, getting irritated feeling that Sean thinks he can just snap his fingers and she will be there.  
  
Sean looks at her in anguish and smiles. Noticing her brown eyes that seem translucent when the sunrays beamed on her face. Her brown hair hung just above her shoulders and parted on the left side was professionally cut in a blunt style and fell in soft waves on each side of her round face. She looked at him straight in the eye after her retort, waiting for his answer. He admired her full lips that were shimmering with a touch of lipgloss that she always wore. He thought that now was the time to give her a 'good reason' to meet him.   
  
"Come over here for a second." He took her right hand and led her inside an open classroom. Once they entered he turned around and pulled her close to him holding her waist with one arm while holding his book bag in the other over his shoulder. He lowered his head and softly brushed his lips across hers. Then he pulled back studying her expression trying to gage her reaction.  
  
"What did you do that for?" She said softly, while slowly opening her eyes from the suddenness of the kiss.  
  
"Is that good enough reason, Elana?"  
  
"Look, you can't just kiss me and think I'm gonna fall all over you, just because you're a good-looking, rich, white boy. What did your friends tell you? Black girls will give it up if you show them some interest. Well don't count on it, Sean. I'm not the one!"  
  
"Why are you so hostile? We've been friends for years now Elana. You know I'm not like that. And you'd be blind to not see that I'm crazy about you. I just want us to talk about this before I go off to Harvard in September."  
  
"I don't mean to be hostile. You just surprised me that's all. Like you said, we've been friends for years and now you go and do this. I don't know what to think."  
  
"Elana I don't want to talk about this here. Could you please meet me at around 6 tonight and we can talk then." Sean asks.  
  
Looking into his cloudy blue eyes, she knew she couldn't resist him, when he was being sincere. "Ok, I'll meet you."  
  
"Good!" Sean smiled at her and kissed her on the cheek, happy with this new break in their relationship. "I'll walk you to your car." They left the classroom and walked to the school parking lot where Sean led Elana to her car and opened the door, allowing her to get in. "See you this afternoon!" He said as he shut the door and waited until she drove away before he proceeded to his own car to go home.  
  



	4. LOOK WHO'S COMING TO VISIT

Part 4: LOOK WHO'S COMING TO 'VISIT'  
  
1998  
Crealite Conference Room  
  
Sean sat at the conference table, remembering their meeting that evening at the Café. He had expounded on his deep feelings for her and expressed that he would like for them to keep in touch while he was away in school, until she could join him when she came to Harvard as they had discussed. He remembered how reluctant she had been in acknowledging her feelings for him, but she finally did and he was overjoyed, now knowing that their feelings were mutual. They agreed to keep in touch and see where it would lead them.  
  
During the summer, Elana was always busy with applying to colleges including Spellman, Morgan, Harvard and Yale and taking tests to skip many of her 11th grade requirements. He remembered always meeting her at the library, bringing her candy or a single flower to help keep her spirits up amidst the drudgery of her work. Afterwards they would go to a movie or to a diner to get something to eat. As those few summer months went by, he became more and more dependent on seeing her everyday and eventually she expected his company while she worked. Most people shrugged them off as school kids studying together, but some of their classmates who saw them there all the time as well as at the movies and the diner, made degrading remarks that they both ignored.  
  
August came and went and before they knew it, the time had come for Sean to go off to Harvard. He reminisced about what happened the morning before he boarded the plane for Cambridge. They had agreed to rendezvous at the park near the lake...  
  
  
1984  
The Park in Greenwich, CT  
  
Sean waited pacing along the grassy shoreline of the lake. She was late and he only had a few hours before his flight left for Cambridge, Massachusetts. 'Maybe she couldn't come.' He thought and his heart began to sink. How was he going to go so far away from her without seeing her before he left? He hankered over what he could do and decided to go to her house. He knew that Elana had not told her parents about him, just as he had kept their relationship from his own parents, but he could not leave without seeing her.  
  
15 minutes later, Sean pulled up in front of Elana's two-story Scandinavian style home. He got out of the car and stood frozen, not knowing what he would say...  
  
"What's wrong with you son? Look like you seen a ghost. You looking for somebody?"  
  
Sean, startled out of his anxiety, looked over and saw an older black man, holding a weed whacker in his hand and wearing a pair of old gray overalls and dirty work boots.  
  
"Um, Yeah. --- I ---I came to see Elana Powers. Is she home?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess she is, her car still here. I know Mr. Powers in there. Why don'tcha go knock and see."  
  
With that Sean slowly walked to the door and rang the bell. After a few seconds a woman answered the door. "Yes, may I help you?" She was a small woman, with graying hair and wearing a pair of light blue polyester slacks and multi-colored flowered blouse that had a big collar. She wore plastic gloves on her hands and was holding a bucket. Sean had never seen Elana's mother, but he knew this woman was not her.  
  
"Yes, ma'am. I would like to see Elana."  
  
"Oooh, you must be Sean Logan, I gather."  
  
"Yes, I am --- How..." The woman interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.  
  
"You definitely one of the better lookin' ones to come around," She said eyeing him up and down, "...but I will tell you that this is not a good time. Mr. Powers musta just found out about you and he ain't too happy with his daughter right now, so you might want to make haste and get yo'self outta here." She said sternly.  
  
"Um, thank you for the advice, ma'am, but I'd like to talk to them anyway."  
  
"Suit yourself, but it ain't gonna be pretty. Come on in. I'll go get Mr. Powers."  
  
Sean walked into the house and stood in the foyer watching the woman walking down the hallway and then disappearing into a doorway. He looked all around him, taking in the massive foyer and ceiling, which ascended at least 15 feet high with a beautiful glass chandelier center positioned. The walls were painted a cream color with cherry wood paneling and the floor was a jaded marble. What caught his eye were the many pieces of intricately designed African sculptures and paintings. The paintings only revealed the outline of figures with no faces, involved in everyday aspects of village life in Africa. Some of the paintings seemed to have a rough surface, so he walked closer to one of them, which depicted three black women, unclothed, and taking care of their daily tasks, where one was carrying water, another washing clothes and the other carrying a baby tied to her back. He took his finger and traced the figures, realizing that it was made of actual sand...  
  
"I see you have an appreciation for African women, Mr. Logan." Came a baritone voice from behind Sean.  
  
He was so startled that he jerked his hand away from the painting and a flush of red came over his face realizing what the man had said. Sean ran his hand over his brown curly hair that was in need of cutting in the back. As he looked at George Powers, he recognized his face from the real estate and entrepreneurial magazines he'd read. Mr. Powers sported a pristine white shirt with French cuffs and diamond-studded cufflinks, expertly tailored twill slacks and imported loafers. On his hand he wore a diamond-studded wedding band and a gold watch on his wrist.  
  
"Yes I do, and this painting is very beautiful. What did the artist use to make it, the surface feels rough? Sean asked, trying to establish the mood for their pending discussion."  
  
George Powers walked slowly toward Sean with his hands behind his back. Sean gathered that he must be at least 6'5" feet tall and 200 lbs. He had a muscular build and a full head of gray hair.  
  
"It's made of sand from the villages of South Africa. Most of the people have artistic talents, but no money to buy paint, so they gather the different colors of sand from the ground and make paintings to sell in the markets to American tourists to met out a living and feed their families. I order them by the box and give them out as gifts to my business and personal associates. If you like this one, let Phyllis, the housekeeper, know and you can have it."  
  
"That's really nice of you, Mr. Powers, but I can't take the painting..."  
  
"Now I thought you said that it was very beautiful. Surely anything a man thinks is beautiful he either wants it for his own or he wants to take advantage of that beauty for his own purposes. Which one is it with you Sean Logan?" Mr. Powers folded his hands in front of his chest and stared at Sean.  
  
Sean knew that the man was trying to intimidate him and had made a subtle reference regarding his intentions toward his daughter.  
  
"I would like to have the painting Mr. Powers, but I won't have a proper place to display it as you do here. I'm planning to go to college today and I wouldn't want to neglect it by placing it in a storage space, but when I return I would be very happy to take it. Then I could take my time and select the best setting for it so that everyone could admire it." Sean felt a sense of relief when Mr. Powers lowered his arms and placed one hand in his pocket.  
  
"You said that well son. Now, as to the reason for your visit, I presume you came to see what happened to my daughter." Mr. Powers looks directly at Sean and waited for his reaction, but Sean said nothing only returning the stare. "She is here because I forbade her from meeting with you. We can go into my office to discuss it." Mr. Powers, motioned with his free hand for Sean's to walk toward his office.  
  
The two men walked into the elaborately decorated office.  
  
"Take a seat Mr. Logan" Sean sat down in the plush leather chair while Elana's father sat on the edge of his desk.  
  
Without flinching, Mr. Powers asked, "What is it that you want with my 16 year old daughter?"  
  
Sean swallowed heavily and knew that he had to maintain his composure, not showing any signs of weakness. He also knew that he had to be completely honest because he could feel that this man's clear, light brown eyes would see straight through any lies he might try to concoct.   
  
"I'm in love with your daughter, Mr. Powers and the only thing I wanted was to see her at the park and share my last moments with her before I board my flight to go to Cambridge.  
  
"You love her eh?" He chuckled. "I hope that love has been at a respectable distance, son. I know that my daughter is a very attractive girl, like her mother, and a lot of young fellows have been trying to get close to her since she turned 15, claiming that they're hopelessly in love with her, but I have never seen you around here. She's talked about you for years, but you were always the only one who never came by. Why is that?  
  
"Mainly because, my father and grandfather wouldn't like it if they knew that I wanted to date someone black or any race other than my own, so we have limited our time together to school, and places where we meet to study or get a quick dessert or something. Today, I just couldn't leave until I had some time with her. I meant no disrespect toward you, sir."  
  
"I can see that you didn't son, but I have to tell you that I don't want my daughter to deal with anyone who is not going to benefit her. She's a smart girl with a big future ahead of her, and I don't want to see her head messed up by some boy, who thinks he's in love with her, and whose family thinks she's beneath them. Can you see that as a formula for sadness and disappointment?"  
  
"Yes, but I don't intend to disappoint her, Mr. Powers, because then I would disappoint myself as well. When I'm older, my family will have to accept us, but now since I am still under my father's care I am trying to respect his way of thinking and not cause any friction, but once Elana and I graduate from Harvard, I have every intention of marrying her regardless of what anybody thinks." Sean sat still amazed at what he had just admitted to himself and wondering how Mr. Powers would react to his statement.  
  
"I see. You're an outspoken boy Sean, but I don't think you'll be giving up running Crealite, Inc. for my daughter any time soon. I was not aware that you are going to Harvard. I hope you do well there, but I am going to tell you right now that in the best interest of Elana, I am going to do everything I can to keep you away from her. I want her to accomplish all that I have and then some and like I said she doesn't need some bigheaded rich boy, who thinks he can have what ever he wants, messing that up for her, especially someone white. I will allow you to see her before you leave, but consider it your last time. She should be out by on the patio, because whenever she's upset she either eats lollypops or takes a few laps around the pool. Just go out this door turn left and follow the corridor to the patio doors and you should see her there. When you leave Sean, I don't want to see you at my door again. Do we understand each other, son."  
  
"Yes, sir I understand you perfectly." Sean flashed a hint of sarcasm with his answer, knowing that Mr. George Powers did not even want to understand what he felt for his daughter.  
  
Sean slowly got up from the chair thanked Mr. Powers for his time and made his way to the pool, where he saw Elana pacing the outer perimeter of the pool heading for the platform. Once she reached it she stopped and looked out into the gardens that lay beyond the fencing. She hugged her arms around her body and just stood in silence. Sean slowly opened the doors to the patio and putting his hands in his front jeans pockets he walked over to her without making a sound. As he approached her he admired seeing her wet, where her hair was slicked back off of her forehead and hung in soft brown waves at a point at the nape of her neck. He furthered his notice of her perfectly formed body in the electric blue bathing suit that she wore. He never realized how beautiful her legs were and traced them with his eyes up to her full rounded derrière and tiny waist. Suddenly, he saw her put her face in her hands and begin to sob.  
  
Moving in closer to her, he spoke softly, "You'd better stop that or you're gonna have me crying too."  
  
She looked up and a smile formed on her face, but then it disappeared. By this time Sean was no more than half a foot away from her and he could feel her warm breath on his face and was sure that his heart would jump out of his chest as he watched the tears falling down her cheeks. He took her in his arms and held her head to his shoulder as she began to cry again.  
  
"Oh, Sean daddy said that I can't see you anymore and that he doesn't want to hear me mention your name again in this house. He said that I should forget about you because you just want to use me and I have no business trying to be with ..." Her words trailed off as her crying became more feverish.  
  
"Shhh, I know, ---I know, lollypop. " He took her cheeks in his hands and guided her face up to look at him. "Don't you believe him. Don't ever believe anybody who says anything negative about how I feel for you. We both know the truth and that has to sustain us for now."  
  
Elana shook her head in agreement and rested on his shoulder. They stood, embraced for several minutes, then Sean nestled his index finger under her chin and lifted her head to face him. He slowly lowered his head and kissed her lips for what seemed like forever. Then he broke away, holding her hand in his own. "I love you Elana and we will be together, next year when you come to Harvard." They looked at each other for a few moments, then he turned and departed the same way he had come leaving her standing where he had found her and all Elana could do was to watch him leave. Sean vowed that once he had some control over his own circumstances, no one would separate them from each other again.  
  



	5. FAMILY DEBATE

Part 5: FAMILY DEBATE  
  
When he went to Harvard Sean's thoughts were only of Elana. His diligent phone calls to her home were not accepted and his letters were always returned. Obviously someone was intercepting her mail and screening the phone calls. Eventually, Sean realized that the only hope he had was that he would see Elana next year when she came to Harvard and to possibly steel some time with her when he went home on his Spring Break.   
  
When Spring Break finally arrived that year Sean came home anxious to get an opportunity to see Elana, not knowing how he was going to accomplish this, remembering her father's last words to him 'I am going to do everything I can to keep you away from her'. Sean had also promised his father that he would begin his apprenticeship at the company whenever he had time off from school and knowing Phillip Logan, Sean would be required to spend every waking moment in New York.   
His thoughts flooded with images of Elana, so immediately after returning to his house that afternoon, he put away his things and ran downstairs heading for the door. He was hoping to catch her at the library where he knew she spent all of her time. Sean had just reached for the doorknob when his father caught up with him...  
  
"Sean, I need to speak with you, son."  
  
'Dog!' Sean thought. He responded hoping his father would let him go and talk some other time "Dad, I was about to go out can it wait 'till later?"  
  
"I'm afraid not. Come on into the living room."  
  
Sean reluctantly followed his father into the large living room decorated with family photographs and paintings and furnished with large white plush seating arrangements. He was annoyed because his father had become the catalyst for him possibly missing Elana if she was at the library. Phillip sat down in his favorite Queen Anne chair, rested his arms on the chair, sat all the way back and put his foot up on the opposite knee...  
  
"Have a seat, Sean."  
  
"Dad, I really..."  
  
"We need to talk about your grades." Phillip interrupted  
  
Sean was so engrossed with seeing Elana that he forgotten he would have to deal with his father on the issue of his less than average grades since attending Harvard. Now it was staring him in the face. He knew that he was disappointing his family because once he came of age he would be expected to take over the company. His father's health was declining because of the stress of everyday business and taking care of granpa William who suffered from everything from congestive heart failure to prostate cancer, so Philiip had slowly started to delegate more responsibilities to his subordinates. Sean knew that this was only temporary until he was able to take over because if there was one thing Phillip Logan did not like, it was not being in control. So, accepting his pending demise, Sean took a seat and waited for his father to continue.  
  
"We all know you haven't been doing so well lately in your classes, but what I don't know is why. Sean you know more about business than most of the people at that school because as a little boy I would take you to work with me. You learned your abc's from the ships we used to export goods. So why is it that you're getting C's and D's in classes like Business Policy and International Management? What's going on with you Sean?  
  
"Nothing dad, I just haven't gotten acclimated yet. Being so far from home and all of the new faces. You have to remember that I was in school with the same people since kindergarten. But I promise you that when I go back, I'll get into the groove of things and come out on top at the end of the year." Sean stood up confident that this excuse would appease his dad, and he could go on about his business, but unfortunately it didn't.  
  
Phillip put his leg on the floor then moved forward with both elbows on his thighs and his hands cupped in front of him. He looked at his son, intently saying, "Sit down son. Look Sean, you never have been a good liar, especially with me. I can tell that there's something heavy on your mind, and you need to talk to me about it so that we can do what it takes to get it behind you and you can concentrate on what's important." There was a brief pause, as Sean contemplated another excuse, but he couldn't think of one.  
  
"What is it son, tell me." Phillip pleaded.  
  
Knowing he was fighting a loosing battle, Sean opted for the truth hoping it would get him out of the house sooner than his weak lies. He took a deep breath "The truth is...I'm in love with someone." He said bluntly.  
  
"Oh really now?" Phillip began to chuckle with pride. "What's so bad about that? Shucks that's good news. Love gives you something to look forward to, but why is it affecting you so negatively. Did the girl break up with you or something?"  
  
"No, her father won't allow us to see each other anymore because he basically said that I was no good for her."  
  
"What are you talking about, no good? Does he know who you are, who your family is?" Phillip asked in disbelief that any man would not want his son to be interested in his daughter. Phillip knew that his son was an upstanding young man and had never shown himself to be anything but a gentleman when it came to young women. This is how he and his grandfather had taught him to be.  
  
"Yea, he knows exactly who we are and he feels that this family would make her feel that she's beneath us and she'd never be accepted regardless of how I feel and that this would ultimately affect her individual progress." Sean closed his eyes not wanting his father to ask him any more questions, hoping that he would give him a few words of wisdom and let it go at that, but Phillip persisted.  
  
"Who is this guy? Maybe I should talk to him and let him know that we don't care that her family may not have as much money as we do. Way back when, we didn't have any ourselves when my great, great, great grandfather came from Ireland as an indentured servant. That's just not important. Now who is he Sean, just let me know and I'll make a phone call, invite him to dinner and we can talk this thing out." Phillip awaited Sean's answer, but none came immediately.  
  
Sean sat opposite his father looking, but not responding...  
  
"Well, who is it Sean?" Phillip was now getting slightly worried about the nature of his son's actual involvement with whoever this girl was.  
  
Knowing he could neither keep it to himself any longer nor could he lie to his father, Sean muttered "George Powers."  
  
"What's his nu...Now wha --- what George Powers are you talking about, son?" Phillip had a worried look on his face.  
  
"I'm talking about George Powers of Power Realty. His daughter is Elana Powers and I'm in love with her. I have been for a while now." Sean looked directly in his father's brown eyes ready to tackle what was to come.  
  
Phillip stood and put his chin between his forefinger and thumb and began to pace in front of Sean. He recognized the names that his son had retorted to him, but he sought further clarification, hoping it wasn't who he thought it was "Is that the girl who you did all the studying with during high school?"  
  
"Yes,. " He said, now noticing his father's face turning red with anxiety.  
  
"Oh, I see." He said looking down, then looking up again. "You mean George Power's daughter who lives over in the Laurel Woods section, right?"   
  
Knowing what his father was avoiding Sean chimed in, "Yeah that's her. She's the black girl who helped me through Advanced Placement Calculus and Trigonometry. When I told her father that I loved her he said he would do everything in his power to keep us from seeing each other. "   
  
"And, obviously, judging from your hurry to get out of here today, you did not listen to him" Phillip began to dread how much involved with this girl Sean had become. When Sean first began to speak of Elana in third grade he never knew that it would come to this. He admired her father and knew him as a shrewd businessman and he had praised her silently for helping his son make it through those tough math classes, and thus get accepted at Harvard because of his good grades. The Logans had bought and sold property through Power Realty for years and now he had another connection with Mr. Powers, one, which he was not ready to accept.  
  
"I haven't seen her since last summer. She's supposed to go to Harvard this year, so we will be able to be together sometimes then. Dad, I have to tell you that she feels the same way about me." Sean added hoping that this would soften whatever his father was feeling.  
  
"I'm sure she does son. I just hope you haven't gotten her in any trouble or anything Sean?" He asked looking disappointedly at his son.  
  
Sean was somewhat surprised at his father's accusation, but he realized that this new development had come out of nowhere. "No, dad, of course not? I really care about her, and I wouldn't do anything to compromise her. She wouldn't let me if I tried."   
  
"So what do you plan on doing about this now?"   
  
Sean sighed and slouched down on the couch and put his face in his hands then moved them up and strung his fingers through his dark brown curly hair while looking up at his father... "I don't know. Nothing now I guess. "  
  
"Son, I don't have to tell you that dating a minority would not look good for the family name. I suggest you listen to Mr. Powers he didn't get where he is by not knowing what he was talking about."  
  
"Well, that's true as far as his business goes, but as to me and his daughter he's dead wrong and besides I can't just stop loving her or wanting to be with her. I can't turn my feelings on and off like that. I would think that you, of all people, would want me to be with someone that I could be happy with, regardless of what she looks like, and especially since I've known her most of my life. I'm not ashamed of loving her, but I was reluctant to tell you because of you and grandfather's notions about this damned Logan legacy that you have drummed in my head throughout my life. I knew you wouldn't approve because of 'appearances sake' . But, it shouldn't really matter because you have dealt with her father for years, so you should know that they're good people..."  
  
"Sean," Phillip interrupted getting louder as he tried to hold back his anger, "We are not talking about business, son. This is about our family and the perception we give out. Maybe you need to be around other girls more often. Obviously, you haven't thought about the impact it could have on you. You're only 19 years old and this is just a passing thing, you'll be attracted to many other women before you're ready to settle down. I think you're just grateful for all of the help she gave you through the years. I dare say that if it hadn't been for her, you probably would not have done as well in math, but let's not get this thing mixed up. Besides, you're a Logan and you need to stay in your place, son. There are too many fine young wh... ..." Phillip's words were not completed, before Sean retorted in an angry outburst.  
  
"STAY IN MY PLACE!!! AND JUST WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT I SHOULD STAY IN MY PLACE AND ELANA SHOULD STAY IN HERS? I WAS NOT AWARE THAT PART OF THE LOGAN LEGACY INCLUDED PREJUDICE, DAD!!!"   
  
  



	6. HITTIN' TOO CLOSE TO HOME

Part 6: HITTIN' TOO CLOSE TO HOME  
  
At that moment grandpa William hobbled into the room supporting his weight on a walker and wearing his housecoat and slippers. His hair was fully gray and disheveled and he had a growing beard and mustache. He was 75.  
  
"WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE. AN OLD SICK MAN CAN'T GET ANY PEACE LYING IN HIS OWN BED. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?" Grandpa William's speech was slurred because he didn't have in teeth in and he seemed to chew on something as he reached for the chair near the entryway. He flopped down in the chair then picked up the trashcan and spit a hard lump of chewed up tobacco in the can.  
  
"Dad, you should go back to bed. Sean and I were just having a friendly discussion." Phillip did not want to upset his father knowing his health condition so he hoped that the old man would retreat to another room so that he and Sean could continue this discussion.  
  
"Didn't sound too friendly like to me. You disturbed my Abbott & Costello show. I figured there was more action going on in here so I've come to watch. Don't let and old man keep you from dealing with problems. I need some excitement around here anyway..."  
  
It was obvious to Sean and Phillip that grandpa William was not leaving so they decided to tone down their conversation.  
  
"Now Sean, I'm not saying we are prejudice, but how do you think it would look if our board members found out that my son is dating George Power's daughter?' Phillip was trying to use code words so as not to cause his father a heart attack.  
  
"George Powers is a colored man ain't he?" Grandpa William asked  
  
"Now dad what would you know about George Powers?" Phillip retorted  
  
"Cause, he's the colored man who gives donations to the Winthrop campaign for governor. He sold the governor's mansion to the state, then forked over $250,000 to the campaign last month. Never saw no colored man donate so much money to politics. I keep up with politics, you know because my grandpa was going to run for governor at one time. Why when I was..." grandpa was interrupted by Phillip  
  
"OK, OK dad. I hear you." Phillip then returned to talking to his son.   
  
"Dad, it's really none of your board members business who I date or do anything else with"  
  
"You're wrong son. You forget that one day you'll be running the company and their son's will be on the board and what people think in our business is very important and can make or break us."  
  
"Who --- you -- and George Powers'. You runnin' after a colored gal boy?" Grandpa had just got his thoughts about him and gathered the information he heard to figure out what was going on. Now addressing Phillip he blurted, "You letting your boy go after a colored gal!" Now grandpa was excited and they both could feel the increased tension in the room.   
  
"Grandpa maybe you should get some rest or something." Sean suggested and then turning to his father he said, "Dad can't you make him go back to his room?"  
  
Averting his attention to his father, Phillip helped him up and began to escort him back to his room. "Dad, don't you worry about this I'll take care of it"   
  
Grandpa was shouting as he was literally being put out of the living room. "CAN'T BE COURTIN' NO COLORED GALS IN THE OPEN. THEY'LL RUIN YOU, BOY. YOU HERE WHAT I SAY! THEY'LL JUST RUIN YOU!!!"  
  
Sean was hurt by his grandfather's reference to Elana. 'Old man. Doesn't know what he's talking about. Why would he say that? He's still living in the 1930's.' Sean thought to himself. He began to realize that this whole thing would not be easy and that his father and grandfather were not amicable to his wanting a close relationship with someone outside his race. Regardless of that he had to try to see Elana before he had to go back to Cambridge.  
  
Left alone in the living room, Sean decided to take advantage of this break and slip out while his father was dealing with grandpa William. He got up and ran out of the door before his father would notice that he had gone.  
  
He slipped into his red 1964 mustang and sped out of the driveway. Looking in his rearview mirror, he noticed his father in the doorway and knew that the conversation would be continued whenever he returned home.  
  
  
  



	7. THE BOSS' SECRETARY

Part 7: THE BOSS' SECRETARY  
  
1998  
Crealite Offices  
  
"Mr. Logan?...Mr. Logan?" Sean's secretary peeked through his office door and tried unsuccessfully to get his attention. "MR. LOGAN, SIR..."  
  
"Yeah ---Yeah, I'm sorry. What is it Charlotte? " Sean shook himself out of his daydream and scantily directed his attention to his secretary.  
  
"Um, sir, I contacted all of the companies as you asked, and I have finished the additional paperwork you needed me to do. It's getting kind of late and I just wanted to let you know that I'm going home. Everyone else has left for the day so you'll have to lock up." She said as she wondered what had kept her young, handsome boss so tied up all afternoon in his office after the board meeting earlier that day. He seemed to be just sitting there staring out at the city through the large window which expanded the length of the wall.  
  
"You know what Charlotte, wait for me. I'll leave with you and walk you to your car. Can you give me a few minutes?" He asked with his signature smile.  
  
'I'll give you whatever you want, you fine specimen of a man.' Charlotte thought to herself. "Um, sure. I'll just go to the ladies room and meet you at the front desk in a few." She said as she smiled back at him.  
  
Charlotte Braumly had been attracted to Sean Logan since the day he interviewed her six years ago for his personal secretary position. After the interview with Crealite, she had cancelled another interview because she was so taken with Sean Logan. He was the embodiment of tall, dark and handsome with his crystal-blue eyes and dark brown, short, wavy hair and perfectly tanned skin. The tan almost looked natural to her, but Charlotte knew it had to be the results of time well spent in a tanning booth or long hours in the sun. Charlotte was hired a week after her interview. Ever since that first interview, Charlotte had fantasized that one day Sean would ask her out; and she knew that if he did, she would do everything in her power to make him hers.  
  
She always seized every opportunity to subtly flirt with him and now with his offering to walk her to her car, another opportunity was presenting itself and she would take full advantage of it. Charlotte practically ran to the restroom to straighten her makeup, comb her hair and pull her already revealing black skirt up a little higher and open her blouse a little wider. Examining her image in the mirror, she surmised that she was an attractive woman, standing at 5'5", with thick curly auburn hair that hung to the middle of her back and sea green eyes a man could get lost in and a body formed by relentless nights at the gym. She attracted many of the executives at Crealite and had intimate interludes with a few of them, but she was holding out for the prize, Sean Logan, a young, single, handsome and wealthy president of a major firm. As she adjusted her makeup and clothing, she devised a plan for their short walk to the parking lot and made her way back to the reception area.  
  
Several minutes later Sean emerged from the main offices of the company and spotted Charlotte standing with her profile toward him and her long shapely leg hiked up in a chair while bending over to attend to her ankle that rested above her two inch heels.  
  
"Is everything alright?" Sean mused knowing what Charlotte was trying to do. He really was not in the mood for her games tonight, but he couldn't help but chuckle as she left little to the imagination with the height of her skirt and her blouse was open just enough for him to see the fullness of her breasts.  
  
"Oh, this darn shoe. I don't know why I wear these things. They always give me so much trouble." She said rubbing her ankles.  
  
"Maybe, you're wearing your shoes too high Ms. Braumly." He said thinking that it was a bad idea to offer to walk her to her car knowing she would have something up her sleeve.  
  
Sean had become all too aware of her endless schemes to get him in compromising situations, but he had managed to thwart them all. On several occasions he had thought about replacing her because she emitted too much sexual energy in the office among the young interns and the executives alike, but she was good at her job. Sean found her efficient and she made him look good first as a new Executive Vice President and then President who always put out his correspondence in record time and distributed flawless reports along with other written documents. The only problem was her constant coming on to him. She was very beautiful, but just a little too loose for his taste.  
  
"Please call me Charlotte, Mr. Logan and maybe you're right about my heels. Every time I wear them this high, I usually end up going home, taking my clothes off and soaking in a long hot bath just to get my ankles to feel better." Looking directly at Sean she continued, "It would be nice if I had someone at home to rub my ankles for me." She smiled slyly giving him a hint that she had no one at home waiting for her and hoping he was picturing her in that bath tub.  
  
Sean tried to ignore her flirtatious comment and suddenly just wanted to get going. He saw a flash of the words 'sexual harassment' move across his eyes. "We should get going. Are you going to be able to walk or should I call the cleaning lady to help you out? Because I gotta go." He said sternly.  
  
Not wanting to try his patience, Charlotte straightened up quickly, and said she would be ok. She walked in front of him with an exaggerated wiggle of her hips toward the glass doors leading to the elevators.  
  
In the parking lot Charlotte intentionally went at the wrong parking level and pretended that someone had stolen her car.  
  
"OH, NO! WHERE IS IT?" She screamed while walking out of the elevator and eyeing an empty parking spot. "It was parked right here! Oh, that's what I get for leaving the doors unlocked!"  
  
"Why would you leave your doors unlocked in New York City?"  
  
"I don't know. I guess I'm still one of the ones who believes in people and besides I didn't think I had anything to worry about with the security guards scanning the place over. Now what am I going to do?"  
  
"Maybe you should go back into the office and call the police." Sean suggested.  
  
""OH NO!!!" She said quickly "I mean, no I want to wait until I get home. I don't want to have to wait here that long. You know that if it's not a murder or robbery, the police will take their time in getting here. I would prefer if you took me home and I can call them from there."  
  
"Well, I was really looking forward to getting home." He commented trying to think of some way he could get out of this.  
  
"You got somebody waiting for you? Are you and Sheridan going out tonight?" She questioned.  
  
Charlotte knew Sheridan Winthrop to be Sean's steady girlfriend for the past two years. She would come to the office sometimes to take Sean to lunch or meet him for dinner. She was all class and fluff, Charlotte thought. If he ever married her she would be the ideal executive's wife. Her father was the District Attorney in Connecticut and had run for governor several years ago, so it seemed that all Sheridan did was host charity events for him along with her mother. She was always seen gracing the Style section of the newspapers whenever her father had some big event in the city. Charlotte did know that Sheridan Winthrop was no competition. Sean seemed to tolerate her and keep her around because he did not have anyone else to fill his time with, but she intended to change that, soon.  
  
"No, Sheridan and I have no plans tonight, I just have some business to take care of for a board meeting tomorrow, but I guess I can take you home." Sean reluctantly led her back into the elevator and they went to his car.  
  
Charlotte made sure the ride to her house took as long as possible with the directions she recited to him so that they would have more time to talk. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime of listening to Charlotte chatter away about nothing, to Sean's relief, they parked in front of her door.  
  
"Here we are!" Sean said happily now that he could let her out and get on about his business.  
  
Charlotte sat there and stared at her brownstone apartment.  
  
"What' wrong? Is everything ok? You did say that this is your place didn't you?" Sean was curious as to why she wasn't motioning to get out of the car.  
  
"Well, yes this is my place, but I know I didn't leave my living room light on this morning. I don't know why it's on. I usually only cut on the porch light." Charlotte turned forward and feigned a frightened look on her face.  
  
"Maybe your family or some friend came by or something."  
  
"No, my family is in Ohio and none of my friends have a key, except..."   
  
"Except what?"  
  
"Well I -- I had this old boyfriend who I broke up with a few months ago because he was too possessive, but after that he started stalking me and showing up everywhere I went. Sometimes he would show up in my apartment, but usually I would come home with a girlfriend and he would get lost..."   
  
"Why, didn't you have the locks changed?"  
  
"I figured he'd go away eventually and stop harassing me, and he did for a while, but lately I have been getting phone calls with no one on the other end. I think it may be him. He also had a key to my car so he may have taken it from the garage. Oh man" She sighed and put her face in her hands.  
  
"Would you like me to go up with you and check things out before I leave?"  
  
"Oh would you please? Thank you so much." She said as she quickly opened the door and stood on the corner until Sean found a nearby parking spot and met her in front of her door.  
  
As they entered Charlotte was cautious and looked around in all directions. "Could you check upstairs in the bedrooms and bathrooms? I'll check down here."  
  
Sean obediently climbed the stairs and hunted for the lights as he entered each room while Charlotte scurried around downstairs removing her shoes and blazer. She knew it would take Sean some time to find all the lights and do a thorough search of the second floor. After enough time had lapsed, she ran up the stairs and found Sean inspecting her closets.  
  
"Did you find anything?"  
  
"No, everything seems ok up here" Sean said turning around and relieved that no danger was pending.  
  
"I guess I left that light on after all, huh?" She said while walking toward him with her hands cupped behind her back.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so." Sean realized he was trapped and needed to get out of her bedroom without running over her, but also thought that running over her may be his only option. "Look, since everything is ok here, I'm gonna go." He tried to walk around her, but she stood in his way.  
  
Sliding her finger down his arm, she spoke to him in a low tone "I appreciate your concern. Would you like a drink? I could tell how stressed you were after the board meeting this afternoon." She flashed her perfect smile at him and stared waiting for a reaction.  
  
Sean felt his heart beat faster at the possibility of spending the evening with her and at that moment, he thought to himself that she was looking pretty good, especially since he hadn't been with a woman for a while. He and Sheridan's relationship had turned platonic within the past eight months when he realized that his feelings were not as deep for her as, she constantly reminded him, hers were for him, and their love making had always been mechanical. Before Sheridan, there had been one woman he met through a dating service and before that, when he was trying to get over Elana, there were several college girls he dated, but nothing ever developed. He always compared them to Elana and eventually he just stopped calling and that was that. He got a reputation in his later college years as the 'Hit 'em & Quit em' man never attaching himself to any one woman. As these thoughts flooded his mind, common sense stepped in and let Sean know that he needed to get out of Charlotte's grip because sleeping with her would complicate matters and he wasn't about to loose his best secretary or get caught up in a law suit over sex.  
  
"Charlotte, I'm glad everything is alright here..." He said as he brushed by her and headed out of the room toward the staircase. "...but, like I told you, I have a lot of work to do when I get home." He made his way down the steps and to the front door. Opening it and stepping out he looked back in and peering at Charlotte at the top of the steps he reminded her "Make sure you call the police about your car and lock up. If you need to take off tomorrow to handle any of this, just call and leave a message on my machine. I'll get someone to fill in for you." He slammed the door and sprinted to his car, got in quickly and headed home.  
  
An hour later, Sean stepped into his penthouse apartment and headed straight for the wet bar. Putting his brief case and other paperwork down on the dining room table and pulling off his suit jacket, he spread it on the back of the bar stool as he searched for the bottle of vodka he kept stocked. Upon finding it, he took a shot glass out of the holster above his head, slammed it on the bar and poured the vodka, spilling some on the counter. He quickly turned the glass up and swallowed it then stood at the bar facing his living room with both hands spread equidistant from his body and resting on the counter. He looked at his large elaborately furnished surroundings and felt an emptiness that he had known all too well for some time now. Straightening himself up, he poured another shot of vodka and walked through his dining room picking up the RFP proposals on his way to the large sunken living room.  
  
He slumped down in his black leather couch with the shot glass in his hand staring at his surroundings. He had done well for himself. Even though his family had money, everything he had was earned from working and investing his salary in high risk stock options, which eventually made him more money than he was earning. He had the best of everything. He was in good health and at 32 he headed a Fortune 1000 company, but sitting there in his spacious condominium, he felt alone and at that moment he realized that there was no love in his life. Even though he and Sheridan had been dating for two years there were no sparks, and he knew he would never really love her. His family and her family had met when he was still in high school and she would come over often with her family for dinner. She constantly called the house and invited him to go places with her, but he always refused instead opting to spend time studying with Elana at the library or tagging along with her to wherever she went. After graduate school, he got another call from Sheridan and agreed to go out with her, but again nothing happened.  
  
Eventually, after constant nudging from his father who never ceased to remind him that he needed to think about settling down, Sean began to consider Sheridan as a viable mate. After all, he admired her persistence and she seemed to be the best candidate for the job because she was smart and bewitchingly beautiful and knew all there was to know about being the daughter of a prominent businessman, which would suit her well as his wife. Sean had settled on marrying her one day and reasoned that he did not need love, all he needed was to carry on the Logan legacy of big business and big money, then pass it on to his son. This was what he had concentrated on for the past nine years after loosing Elana, but now as he sat alone he remembered the love they had for each other and he drifted off again to the day he had argued with his father about her. The day he and Elana realized how much they wanted to be together, but could not because of things they could not control.   
  



	8. A TASTE OF HONEY

Part 8: A TASTE OF HONEY  
  
1985  
Greenwich, CT  
  
Sean parked across the street from the entrance of the library. He figured the best way to find out if Elana was there was to look for her car, so he scanned the street for a black Corvette convertible, but unfortunately he did not see it. After looking for 10 minutes, he reasoned that she was not there and contemplated going to her house. He sat up against his car and thought about what he'd do next trying to figure out where she might be. Suddenly out of the corner of his eye he saw a teenager crossing the parking lot sporting orange, spiked hair, black makeup and red stretch pants wearing a bright lime sweater. "Clown." he thought, but as he looked at her he noticed a silver colored Mercedes with the license plate "POWERS" engraved on it. His heart rushed as he thought it might be Elana's mother or father at the library, but he dismissed that notion knowing that Elana had driven the vehicle there herself.  
  
Quickly, he sprinted across the street avoiding traffic and entered the library. He slowly walked in, and it was as if everything around him came to a halt. No one else existed and no sounds permeated his ears; only the beat of his heart lingered as he followed it to the place where Elana always went to study. Once he found the spot, there was only a stack of accounting books, but no other signs of her. He walked past the table and went down a corridor of catalogued books. Then he heard someone behind him. When he turned around, he saw her seat herself at the table that he had just passed. She was lovelier than when he saw her last. She wore a sleeveless, cream-colored, pastel-flowered dress with spaghetti straps that hugged her young body exposing the fullness of her breasts and lingering several inches above her knees. As she crossed her coppertone legs, he noticed how her soft, smooth calf muscles flexed and molded perfectly at her ankle, which was encircled by a gold ankle bracelet and joined her freshly manicured feet that rested in a block heel sandal. Her hair had grown since he last saw her, but instead of the blunt cut she wore, she now had straw curls arranged in a carefree manner. Sean was dumbfounded by how much she changed in these few months and feeling his groin begin to throb, he realized that he needed to gain his composure, so he turned toward the bookcase and took deep breaths to calm the longing within him.  
  
Seconds later, he turned to walk toward her, but he hesitated seeing another young man had seated himself across the table from her. Sean couldn't make out what he was saying, but he knew that the guy was trying to get a date with her. The young man was tall, with flawless skin and well dressed with a close haircut and a big bright smile. Sean recognized him as Roy Gregg. He was the one all the girls in high school would drool over. He had an uncanny resemblance to Blair Underwood, and Roy used that asset for all it was worth. Sean could feel anger rise in his chest as he watched Roy take Elana's hand and try to talk her into something. Fortunately, she resisted all of his tactics. Finally, after several minutes of coaxing and subsequent rejections, Roy got up, shrugged his shoulders, winked at her and went on his way. Not wanting to waste any more time, Sean slowly walked toward Elana and stood behind her. Being so intent in her studies she never noticed him coming.  
  
Sean leaned on the back of her chair and positioned his head near her ear then whispered, "Now if that guy couldn't get to first base with you I might as well forget it, huh."  
  
Elana jumped, startled by the suddenness of the approach, but after realizing who it was she sprung from her chair and flung her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.  
  
"SEAN!!! OH GOD!!! I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE!!!"  
  
Sean wrapped his arms around her waist reveling in her touch and the sweet scent that she emitted.  
  
"What's a guy gotta do to get a date with a pretty girl around here?" He asked.  
  
By now everyone in the library was staring at them. The librarian was disgusted at the sight of them and hurried over pushing up her glasses and swinging her arms widely on both sides.  
  
"Excuse me! Excuse me!" She said in a quiet, but stern tone. "Excuse me Ms. Powers, but this is a public library and we can not have such outburst and public displays of affection here. You need to take this somewhere else."  
  
"I'm sorry..." Elana said quickly.  
  
"Elana, you don't need to apologize to her. We aren't causing any problems. Ms. Fulright, you've known us since we were kids, so why do you have to speak to her like that..." Sean was irritated with the woman because on numerous occasions people came in the library and had brief episodes of being loud and obnoxious, but Ms. Fulright never said anything as long at it was brief, which was exactly what had happened between him and Elana.  
  
"You're right Mr. Logan. I guess I was just surprised, but please do not disturb the patrons any more. You two are making a spectacle of yourselves." She turned on her heels and walked back to the information counter. She hated having to back down, but after speaking with Sean she remembered that his father had donated a large sum of money to the library several years ago that helped to acquire new technology to upgrade the business information section of the branch.  
  
Sean returned his attention back to Elana. "Can we get outta here?"  
  
"Yes, I'll have to put these books in my car."  
  
Elana gathered up her things and Sean escorted her out of the library, both smiling and waving at Ms. Fulright on their way out.  
  
Elana, locked her books in the Mercedes and Sean took her hand as they ran across the street to his car avoiding traffic. He opened the door for her, closed it and went to the driver's side and got in himself.  
  
"So where are we going?" Sean asked looking at Elana with a big grin on his face and almost ready to jump out of his shoes he was so happy.  
  
"I have no idea, it's getting kind of late and the library closes at 11 o'clock, so I should be home by 11:30 at least. Why don't you pick out a place, anywhere, it doesn't matter, just drive."  
  
Sean started up the engine and drove to look out point where they could see the city across the bridge. Elana was delighted that Sean had brought her here because she often would drive up there with her girlfriends and talk about the big plans they had for the future. She also knew it as make out point and looked forward to a make out session with Sean, knowing that's why he'd brought her there.  
  
"My dad would kill me if he knew I was up here with you." She said.  
  
"I think he'd kill me first, then maybe ask you questions afterwards before he killed you."  
  
"Humph, Don't bet on it."  
  
"Yeah" he sad, laughing under his breath. He looked over at Elana and saw her eyes sparkling from the remaining sunrays that shot across the sky. The sun was just about to set leaving the skyline in a ribbon of colors. He didn't know what to say next, and he doubted that he should have brought her up to the point, but he dismissed his apprehensions and blurted something out ...  
  
"It's so beautiful up here at night. Sometimes when I was younger I would walk up here and sit to watch the sun go down. I always admired the different colors in the sky." He looked out at the horizon watching the final glimpses of color disappear into the darkness.  
  
"Anybody else ever come up here with you?" Elana asked, curious as to how many other girls he may have brought up here to chat with about the colors in the sky.  
  
"Just you, lollypop, so this is the first time I haven't been here alone"  
  
"Why do you persist in calling me lollypop, Sean?" She never understood why he always called her by that name and remembered that it had started in 8th grade.  
  
"Because, remember in junior high how you use to eat a lollypop before every test and before the test grades came out. You used to say that it helped you to calm down or concentrate on what you were about to do or on what was about to happen. I don't think you realized it, but sometimes you would eat 3 or 4 of those things a day. So, naturally I associated you with a lollypop because every time I saw you, you had one in your mouth. And as I think of it, the last time we were in school together you were still eating lollypops." They laughed together over the memory and began listing other things that they knew about each other.  
  
"Well, we certainly know almost everything about each other that's for sure." Elana mused.  
  
"Yeah, I guess we do."  
  
Elana couldn't help but notice Sean's square jaw-line and lightly tanned face that hinted at a growing beard and mustache. His curly brown hair was combed off his forehead and hung slightly below his neck, indicating a needed hair cut. Her eyes filtered down to his chiseled chest and alluringly, muscular arms, which filled out his white T-shirt, making it a perfect match with his snug-fitting jeans that showed off the large muscles in his thighs and calves. Wanting to be in his arms Elana realized that Sean was not going to make a move on her unless she gave him a sign, so she leaned in closer looking up at him with her big brown eyes and whispered, "There is one thing, we don't know about each other..."  
  
"Really, now, and what is that?" Sean grinned at her knowing where she was taking the conversation.  
  
"We don't know what it's like to make out with each other. So I suggest that we find out before its time for me to go home. She sat staring at him waiting for his reaction.  
  
Not needing any further prompting, Sean placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her lips to his. For the first few minutes they shared several gentle kisses softly pressing their lips together. But wanting more of her, Sean parted her lips and glided his tongue into her warm moist mouth. As their tongues intertwined for several more minutes, Elana felt herself longing to be nearer to him so she put her arms around his neck and pressed herself closer to him as she began to massage his scalp causing their kisses to become deeper and deeper. With the softness of her breast against his chest, Sean could feel himself getting aroused and he put his arms around her waist and gently guided her down on the seat while he positioned himself on top of her. By now Elana was quietly releasing involuntary moans of desire as their interlocking became more passionate. Sean felt that he was going to explode from the pleasure he was feeling from this young girl whom he had professed to love when she wrapped he legs around him. He parted from her slightly swollen lips and began a soft slow trail of kisses down from her chin, to her neck, and then across her chest while simultaneously massaging the right side of her silky smooth thigh. She felt his hands gliding up her dress and resting on her hip. Then he slipped through her lace underwear and cupped her derriere in his large hand where he began to move her body in unison with his own. She could feel the strength of his masculinity on her upper left thigh as he moved her body beneath him.  
  
Sean was now operating on pure instinct as he began to slowly slip the strap of the dress down her arm. He placed his hand behind her back and pushed her chest forward as he planted long soft kisses at the fringes of her dress, slowly nudging it down to reveal more and more of her enticing upper body. He couldn't wait to come to the pinnacle of her femininity and he was almost there, 'Just a few more centimeters before I uncover my prize' He thought to himself. Elana could feel her womb begin to throb with anticipation as she realized that Sean had unbuckled his belt and was now unzipping his jeans, and it awakened her to what was about to happen.  
  



	9. A TOUCH OF REALITY

Part 9: A TOUCH OF REALITY  
  
Out of breath and not quite wanting to stop him, Elana whimpered "Sean?"  
  
All Sean could hear as he wrestled with his zipper while continuing his exploring kisses were soft sounds of music as he was about to reach his goal of captivating her soft chocolate mounds in his mouth and fusing his hardened manhood in the moist aperture between her soft silky brown thighs.  
  
"Sean, stop...please"  
  
'OH NO!!! Not that word.' He heard it, the dreaded 's' word and knew that today was not going to be the day he and Elana shared their bodies together.  
  
"Sean, please honey, please stop." Elana knew that if he continued and succeeded with his zipper, she would not have the willpower to ask him again.  
  
"Ok, babe..." taking deep breaths and abandoning the struggle with his zipper, "...I'm stopping." He continued to plant soft warm kisses on her chest but moved upward toward her lips instead of continuing downward. He quickly claimed her lips like a drunkard reaching for that last drop of sweet liquor that would surely place him in a state of oblivion.  
  
Elana couldn't take it any more without just ripping her clothes off and offering up her young body for Sean to do what ever he pleased, but she gathered her senses about her and strengthened her resolve. "Sean I think we should stop completely." Her words trailed off as he continued to claim her lips hoping that she would relent and allow him to finish what they had started, but she wouldn't give up.  
  
Finally, he slowly pulled away from her, rebuckled his belt and assisted her in sitting up and straightening her clothes.  
  
"Whew, what was that all about?" Sean gasped rubbing both hands over his face and through his hair. He held his hands threaded through his hairline while he tilted his head back, closed his eyes and tried to cool the burning embers in his body. He had imagined being with Elana, but never realized the effect it would have on his celibate body and he doubted if he would be able to contain himself from now on whenever they were together.  
  
"Are you ok?" Elana asked, while trying to mask the overwhelming effect this encounter had on her. The throbbing in her womb was subsiding, slowly calming down the fury that had threatened to force her to give in to temptation. Sean was the only young man she had ever kissed and now he was the only one she had allowed to awaken these feelings in her. She felt the moisture between her upper thighs and doubted that she and Sean could be alone again like this without bringing closure to what had just happened.  
  
"I'm not sure yet. Give me a minute." Sean breathed out as he continued taking deep breaths to calm himself.  
  
Trying to lighten the mood Elana jokingly asked "Guess, you thought you were gonna get some before you went back to school, huh?" Elana asked, laughing.  
  
Sean put his head down and looked out at the skylight, then he turned his head facing her and put his arm around her shoulder. "No, that's not it at all. It's just that I never thought you'd be so soft and sensual. Now I have another reason to call you lollypop. Whew, I don't know if I can go through too many of those scenarios with you Elana without going all the way. I'm just glad you stopped me because I definitely don't want our first time together to be in the front seat of my car, but it almost was."  
  
Elana moved closer to Sean and rested against his chest. "Yeah, you're right. Maybe we should try not to be so secluded from now on."  
  
"That sounds like a good idea. We'll have to remember that when you come to Cambridge this year. Speaking of which have you made all of your arrangements?"  
  
On hearing him mention Cambridge, Elana lifted herself erect, put her hands in her lap and looked out at the skyline, dreading what she had to tell him.  
  
"What's on your mind?  
  
"It's about my dad..."  
  
"Has he forgotten about me or did he set you up with a body guard in Cambridge to keep us away from each other?" Sean chuckled as he said this, but Elana did not showed any signs of amusement.  
  
"No, he hasn't forgotten Sean. In fact he's sending me to Spellman, instead of Cambridge."  
  
Sean was shocked and suddenly all the hope and anticipation that had kept him above board for these past 8 months faded into the darkness. "WHAT!!! HOW CAN HE DO THAT? DIDN'T YOU GET ACCEPTED AT HARVARD?"  
  
"Yes, I was accepted, but he wants me to attend a black college for my undergraduate, and then he said I can go to Harvard for my graduate degree. He's donated a lot of money to this school, and thinks I need to be amongst my own people more and you know, I've been thinking that maybe he's right Sean. I mean I've been around a majority of white people all my life and..."  
  
Sean interrupted looking straight at her and asking, "Elana, why does it matter what people you are around. You know you're black, so why do you need to be around others to prove that to yourself?"  
  
"I do not need to prove to anyone that I'm black. I would be attending Spellman because I'll be able to give back to my community. I know I have a chance of graduating with honors and that will mean a lot of publicity for the school if they can use my father's name to solicit donations that will help them to give more scholarships to blacks who have the brains, but not the money to attend. Going to Spellman will give me a chance say I contributed and that I remembered where I came from."  
  
Sean was irritated and couldn't understand why she had to be around 'her people' as she put it. "You know where you came from, Elana, Greenwich, Connecticut, 348 South Hampton Street, on the upper east side, in a 6 bedroom home with a swimming pool and a guesthouse. That's your community, so why are you referring to a college as your community, saying you don't want to forget where you came from?"  
  
"I don't mean my literal neighborhood, Sean, I mean that of my forefathers, my heritage. I intend to get the best education I can get, start my own company and not have to rely on any man to think any less of me than they do any other woman. I want to be a part in making it better for those that come after me. I have to say this Sean because that is where I came from. I know my heritage. Do you know yours?"  
  
"No, I'm not as familiar with mine as you are with yours, but what about what we have Elana. Isn't what we have important to you?"  
  
"Yes Sean, it is, but I really don't have a choice. If I want to get this education, my father has to pay for it, so he's deemed it best for me to do it this way."  
  
"He said he'd do everything he could to keep us apart and it seems that he's succeeding."  
  
Trying to change the subject Elana sought what Sean had told his parents. "Did you ever tell your parents about us?"  
  
"Yeah, this morning I told my dad and my grandfather found out too."  
  
"So, how did they react?"  
  
"You don't want to know."  
  
"Please tell me, I would like to know."  
  
Sean looked at her and reluctantly reiterated what had happened that morning between him and his father. Elana was saddened that their relationship had caused him to fall back on his grades and felt somewhat responsible. She admonished him to try and concentrate on his studies so that he would not give his family additional reason to resent their relationship. She realized that neither of their families would accept them together and that any notion of them publicly being a couple was out of the questions for all of the reasons that had been expounded that night. They both accepted their immediate fate to not be reunited in September, but began to talk about meeting each other at the library when they came home for school breaks. It was getting late and they figured that Elana should be getting home.  
  
Sean drove slowly and silently back to the library parking lot where he let her out, planted a gentle kiss on her lips and watched her get into her car and drive away. They knew that they would not get to see each other again until the summer because Sean had promised his father that he would spend the remainder of his days in New York at the company headquarters to help out and begin to learn the ropes of the business.   
  



	10. BOARDROOM DECISION

Part 10: BOARDROOM DECISION  
  
Sean was awakened by the sunlight as it crept through the large windows in his penthouse apartment. Feeling a slight pain in the back of his head from the position he had slept in the night before along with the shots of vodka he had drank, he slowly stood up as he rubbed the back of his neck. Looking over on the mantle, he noticed that it was 7:15am indicating that he had just enough time to shower, get ready and be at work before the 9:30 board meeting.  
  
After starting the coffeepot, he slowly made his way to the bedroom and shed his clothing to take a shower. On his way into the bathroom, he noticed the red flash blinking on his answering machine, so he pushed the Play button to hear his messages. The first call was from his father who had called indicating that he would not be at the board meeting today and requesting that Sean come spend the weekend in Greenwich to see his grandfather who had grown more ill over the years. The next call was Sheridan who wanted to spend some time with him. Sean had avoided seeing her for two weeks and knew he would not be able to hold off too much longer; after all they were supposed to be dating seriously. He was getting tired of the charade, but being with her was safe and kept him at arms length from women who had their eye on him. He decided he would call her at lunch to make a dinner date, knowing this would keep her happy at least for another couple of weeks.  
  
After his shower Sean quickly made his way out the door after picking up his paperwork and a cup of coffee to help lessen the light pounding in his head.  
  
He arrived at the office around 9:10am and swept past Charlotte with a sudden "Mornin".  
  
After settling in, there was a knock at his door.  
  
"Come on in..."  
  
It was Charlotte; all dressed up in a revealing black mini dress and another pair of 3 inch heels and her curly auburn hair draped wildly over her shoulders. 'Will she ever stop?' Sean thought to himself.  
  
"Mr. Logan, the board members are gathering now for the meeting you set up for this morning. I'm going to make my way in there also. Is there anything you need before we go in?" She asked smiling at him and hoping he would ask her about her car or something.  
  
"Thanks, Charlotte." He was trying to be brief so she wouldn't have to linger around. "Could you call Windows on the World and make dinner reservations for two for tomorrow night?"  
  
"It's already Thursday, so it may be a little late for reservations. You know they get booked up so early in the week." She was disgusted because she knew it was for he and Sheridan.  
  
"Could you do it anyway, you never know."  
  
"Sure Mr. Logan. Anything else?" She was wishing that there were some way she could move Sheridan out of the way, so that she could make a serious play for Sean. She saw how he reacted to her appearance as she walked in.   
  
"No. Thanks." He said, not looking at her, but instead rummaging through his briefcase to collect the materials he would need for the meeting. He refrained from asking her about her car figuring she had handled that on her own, and he didn't want to give her another opportunity to back him into a corner.  
  
Charlotte left his office pleased with her choice of attire and convinced that it would keep Sean's eyes on her for the rest of the day.   
  
Sean gathered up his material and headed for the conference room where some of the board members were standing around discussing their findings on which company they wanted and others were draped in their seats staring at Charlotte and practically drooling at the mouth.  
  
"Hello gentlemen, could we all take our seats please and get this started." Sean stated ready to get things moving.   
  
Everyone filed into their seats and waited for Sean to take direction.  
  
Standing at the head of the large oak table, Sean put his hand at his waist and began the meeting. "We all know why we're here today. I trust none of you got any sleep last night because of mulling over who would get this lucrative contract to save our butts, so I'm anxious to hear what you each have come up with." Sean looked around the room prompting for initial comments.  
  
Finally, Paul Davis volunteered to throw in his opinion. He was a short, balding man who was soft spoken, but blunt. He was never very thorough about anything. He just said what was on his mind without much to back up any arguments he may present.  
  
"I really think that the best candidate is the Becker & Becker firm. They have obviously been around for a while and they are actually auditing a few of the companies in this building, so they may be able to get started right away."  
  
James Payton, who was the 4th largest shareholder behind Grandpa William, Phillip and Sean chimed in next. He was in his late 30's with short blonde hair and deep brown eyes. He and Charlotte had a fling two years earlier until he told her he was finished with her and had no more use of her services. Where women were concerned he fancied himself a conqueror of whomever he set his sights on. He would charm them with his wits and smooth tongue, lavish them with expensive gifts and convince them that they could not live without him and then as soon as it started it would be over leaving the women devastated and confused. He had inherited his shares along with his money from his financier father who made his fortune as a financial advisor to the wealthy in Europe. His father had also been a good friend of Phillip Logan and bought up some shares 20 years earlier when the stock was low. In business, James did not have too much scholarly knowledge only common sense to drive him forward and this is what others respected about him. He was a heckler for details whose main goal was to make money, and he knew the only way to do that was to have his investments, including Crealite, Inc., work efficiently. He always recognized others who had the knack for making sure that happened. He was outspoken, arrogant and crude but he was successful and because of this most of the board members respected his opinion.  
  
Sean however, did not care for James as a man because he saw the devastation of the women he left behind. He even remembered when Charlotte was dumped and she took two weeks off. Even when she came back, it took her months to perform at the levels she had before she and James became an item. In spite of his dislike for James, Sean did admire his aggressiveness and his lack of need for conformity. James Payton played by his own rules and nobody else's, so he listened as James replied to Paul.  
  
"That's lame Paul, you must have heard about them in the elevator or something because if you had read their prospectus, you would have seen that their revenue has declined for the past 4 years. They may be out of business themselves soon. If you read the newspapers you'll also see that they recently gave a few bad audits, for which they are being sued by two of their former clients. Not to mention their projected cost for doing this project. What kind of business redevelopment can they do for that little bit of money? If you ask me, they're just trying to come in as the lowest bidder so that they can generate some kind of revenue for themselves, and if we take the bait, we're just gonna get a half baked job and end up in worse shape than we already are." James retorted, disgusted with Paul Davis' uneducated suggestion. He was convinced that the man had no interest in the welfare of the company and if he did he just wasn't trying hard enough.  
  
"Good point James. Any other suggestions?" Sean asked.  
  
"I liked Arthur Anderson. We know their reputation and we know that we can trust them. It's got to be them hands down," Thomas Githens added. He was one of the older ones on the board and was consistently satisfied to take the old school route. He was never really open to innovation and new ideas pointing out the dangers of these 'new fangled way of doing things'. Money was never an issue. He felt that whatever the cost the old way was always better.  
  
James had to disagree citing, "Yeah, but you forget that our budget for this is limited and Arthur Anderson is way above and beyond what we can pay. Did you read the offer price? If not, then turn to page 39 in their proposal." Everyone turns as James continues to speak. "If you also turn to our own prospectus on page 22 and look in our income statement under operating budget for administrative costs you'll see that we can't even consider them."  
  
Thomas objects suggesting, "We could take out a loan for the requisition amount, and at least we won't have to worry about a thorough job being done and if the people are qualified to handle something this large and important."  
  
One of the other board members spoke up, "But Thomas, what kind of loan debt or equity? We can't afford either one. If we took out a loan that large, the interest by itself on the loan payments would break us unless any of you want it to come out of your own pockets and cover it. I know I sure can't do that."   
  
Everyone solemnly agreed with the previous speaker and then there was a brief silence. It was as if no one wanted to mention the third company. After all they were all part of the old boys club. Older white males had always occupied the board and not even the exceptional white women in the company had succeeded in breaking the glass ceiling. Finally, James spoke up again.  
  
"Look everyone, let's get to the point. Most of us, I would think, took a good look at these company proposals and their individual prospectus. And there is no question that the best company to fulfill our needs is this Powers & Lambert. Now, I know we have never worked with a minority company before, and I think this is why no one has mentioned them as a prospect, but if you look at their prospectus, you'll see that yes they've only been in business for 7 years, but their trend line is almost vertical, revenues are continually increasing and their client base is getting broader and better. We're gonna have to put this old boys attitude to the side so that we can make some progress around here."  
  
"Who are some of their recent clients? And what is their assessment on the work P & L performed?" Another board member asked.  
  
Several other board members answered.  
  
"Well, there was an article in the Financial Times about them doing an audit of Kellogg and American Express. They also landed a deal with Maytag a few months ago to reevaluate their business because of the new CEO."  
  
"Yeah, I have a friend who's a Vice President at Maytag, and I called him to ask him about the company. He had nothing but praise for them and said that his company has already projected an annual savings of about $1.8 million a year because of reprioritizing their industry operations with the help of P & L. He mentioned that the two partners, Jonathan Lambert and Elana Powers, personally work with their clients and they don't just leave it up to their subordinates."  
  
"$1.8 mill huh?" Sean asked, trying to avert attention from the red flush on his face at hearing Elana's name. He saw where James was directing the board and he saw that no one could argue with him after these facts were just verbalized. Despite his personal feelings of not wanting to come in contact with Elana again after all of these years Sean had to admit that her company was the best on the list and that she and her partner could definitely turn things around for Crealite. The only problem now was getting the older board members to take a chance on a minority firm, so he interjected,   
  
"If we could project a consistent significant savings for 6 to 8 quarters similar to Kellogg, we would be out of this slump. But what about Powers & Lambert's asking price to do the work. What does everyone think about that?"  
  
Thomas offered his opinion stating, "It's a little more than I would think to pay a minority firm, but I'm sure we can offer them something significantly lower and they'll be glad to take it?"  
  
James was annoyed at the suggestion saying, "Now why would you want to do that when they have explicitly defined how much they need to complete this project. Their pricing structure is more than reasonable for a company their size and with the experience they have. We couldn't get away with offering them less money even if we tried. Some of my business associates say the woman who heads this operation is all business and any hint of discrimination or funny stuff because they're a minority company and she won't deal with you period. She's said to know just about everything there is to know about reengineering businesses as well as the financial aspects of how a company should budget and finance their operations to keep revenues at a maximum and boost earnings per share ratios. She's like a walking library on the subject and that's why they're so successful. So it seems that we really need them now considering our situation regardless of what color they are. I don't think we should play with them on pricing because we may end up loosing out."  
  
"You're right James, we won't be haggling over prices. Whoever is chosen will get what they ask for. Does anyone else have any comments or ideas?" Sean asked.  
  
Paul Davis added, "What if they don't do a good job. Then that's going to do us in and them. I don't want to be responsible for putting a minority company out of business."  
  
Sean was now getting as irate as James already was and answered Paul. "It seems that your worries are unfounded because their tract record is excellent and has been for the past 6 years at least. We need to get beyond this color barrier and recognize that this is the best company for the job, and we should let them come in and do what they do best. The only other viable choice is Arthur Anderson and they're just too expensive for our pockets right now. Is there anything else to be said on this subject before we vote on it?"  
  
No one responded.  
  
"Well on that note let's have a vote. All those in favor of Becker & Becker, please indicate by a show of hands" Only Paul raised his hand meekly, then put it down after seeing that no one else shared his opinion. Sean continued, "Ok all those in favor of Arthur Anderson please indicate such by a show of hands." About 4 out of the 16 members raised their hands. "Now all those in favor of Powers & Lambert, please indicate such by a show of hands." The remaining 12 members raised their hands; many doing so reluctantly, but knowing this was their best choice.  
  
"It seems that Powers & Lambert has it. All those in favor of the motion to select Powers & Lambert as the designated CPA firm to overhaul our business, say I"  
  
Everyone said "I" in unison and Sean continued, "Those opposed say na." No one objected. "Let it be recorded that I put forth the motion to select Powers & Lambert as the designated CPA firm to overhaul our business. Anyone to second the motion?"  
  
James raised his hand. "I second the motion."  
  
Addressing Charlotte, Sean directed, "Ms Braumly would you please record that the Board has unanimously voted for Powers & Lambert and that the vote was motioned and seconded by myself and James respectively. Now gentlemen on to other business..."  
  
The meeting went on until 11:30 with board members relaying news for the week from various departments and bringing out potential problems that would need to be solved in the near future. Afterwards everyone broke for lunch. Sean instructed Charlotte to inform P & L of their decision and to set up a meeting at their convenience. He also asked her to set up the meeting with his father because he did not want to risk having to deal with Elana even though he knew that the actual partners rarely did the footwork. His life was simple and uncomplicated, and for now he wanted to keep it that way.  
  
Satisfied with the choice the board had made and feeling somewhat proud of Elana for accomplishing all that she had in such a short time, Sean remembered what George Powers had told him about wanting Elana to accomplish all that he had and even more. Now it seemed that she had. She was a founding partner in a CPA firm that had quickly gained the respect of major corporations and had even broken the invisible glass ceiling at his own company. From looking at their prospectus he could see that she was on her way up even further and he surmised that she had everything she could ever want. He briefly wondered if she had gotten married and had children, but dismissed it knowing that she must have because surely no man, once he encountered her would let her get away, not like he had. With that thought he retired to his office for the remainder of the day.  



	11. THE PRICE OF SUCCESS

Part 11: THE PRICE OF SUCCESS  
  
The phone rings on the secretary's desk at Powers & Lambert.  
  
"Hello, this is Powers & Lambert, how may I help you?" Barbara Richy answered the phone lines at the company. She was a tall black and big boned woman who ran the office like clockwork. She had a slight limp from injuries incurred during a fatal car accident some years ago in which she lost her husband of 20 years. She loved her job and was especially proud to be working for a successful minority company, which was reflected in her impeccable work. She had a natural affinity toward Elana and felt that she was almost like a daughter to her so she took great pains to make sure that everything worked smoothly and made Elana and Jonathon Lambert look good.   
  
Charlotte was on the other line asking to speak to one of the partners. "Yes, this is Crealite, Inc. calling to speak with whomever is in charge of new contracts."  
  
"Ah, that would be Ms. Powers. She should be available, could you hold, please?"  
  
"Yes, thank you." Charlotte was put on hold as Barbara switched to Elana's line to ask her to take the call.  
  
"Ms. Powers, there is a call for you on line one. It's from Crealite, Inc., would you like to take it or do you want me to take a message?"  
  
Elana sat in her newly renovated office filled with cherry wood fixtures and plush hunter green carpeting. She was stunned at the company name Barb had iterated to her and could not imagine why Crealite would be contacting her. She only associated it with Sean Logan, the man from her distant past, which she could never have and thus had earnestly tried to erase from her memory.   
  
"Ms. Powers, what would you like for me to do?"  
  
"Oh, Barb, I'm sorry, uh... I'll take it. That was line one you said?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
Elana dropped the line to her secretary and hesitantly pushed the button for line one. Swallowing deeply before she answered she said, "Hello, this is Elana Powers, may I help you?"  
  
"Hello, Ms. Powers. My name is Charlotte Braumly, and I am Mr. Logan's secretary here at Crealite. I have called to inform you that our board of directors has selected your company to perform our business reengineering and I would like to set up a meeting at your convenience to speak with Mr. Logan regarding these matters."  
  
"Business reengineering?" Elana was confused, but at the risk of sounding as if she didn't know what she was talking about, she conceded and as she flipped through her Franklin daily planner she continued. "Ah, yes. You need a meeting time. Let me see here. Ok it seems that we will be available this Monday at around 8:30am."  
  
"Mr. Logan generally does not get in until around 9:30am could we make it later?"  
  
"Did you not just say that this is at our convenience? If it was otherwise, you should have indicated that."  
  
"Um, yes I did say that, but most people don't start business until 9:00am so I thought, you would not want a meeting earlier than that." Charlotte was taken with Elana's brazenness and found that she was now on the defensive.  
  
"Well, Monday morning at 8:30am is the most convenient for us. If your employer can not make it, please return the call and my secretary will arrange another meeting."   
  
"Yes, I will inform Mr. Logan. When you come in Monday, please ask for Mr. Phillip Logan and you will be directed to his office."  
  
"Thank you for calling." Elana said as she hung up and quickly began to rummage through the paperwork on her desk.  
  
There she found a few RFP's that had been left on her desk to review. Evidently, these were proposals that her partner Jonathan Lambert had responded to in the past two weeks, while she was doing an independent annual audit of Kellogg. When she came across the RFP for Crealite, her heart stopped. She did not want to remember that name, but it was branded in her mind as sure as her own name was. She quickly got up from her seat and headed for Jon's office. Knocking on the door, she was beckoned to come in and she rushed straight toward him and slammed the packages hard on the edge of his desk.  
  
"Why did you not inform me of what RFP's you were going to answer. You know we agreed that both of us would be reviewing these things as they came in?"  
  
Jonathan Lambert sat elegantly in his high-back leather chair. He wore a pair of Bill Blass eyeglasses that rested in the middle of his nose as he looked up at Elana through his dark gray eyes. She stood before him expertly dressed as usual wearing her signature tailored suit. It was burgundy and the jacket had a dipping V neck front, buttoned down the middle and hugged her slim waist, then laid smoothly around her hips. The skirt hugged her thighs and stopped mid thigh to reveal her silk stocking legs and a pair of matching pumps. She wore her light brown hair up in a perfectly manicured French twist and Jon smiled at her as she flashed her fire-laden, light brown eyes at him in anger. She was the picture of beauty, sophistication and professionalism. Jon enjoyed these frequent spats with her where he could admire her without seeming too obvious. "Now Elana, how was I supposed to discuss it with you when, you were busy with the Kellogg account. You knew about these two, but the Crealite proposal came on the day you went on site, and as you see, the deadline was three days after I received it. What's the problem? These are great companies and we have an opportunity to put ourselves even more on the map if we get these three contracts and succeed."  
  
"You are right John, but I would appreciate being informed of things like this. I don't like being left in the dark."  
  
"You weren't left in the dark. I had the RFP's put on your desk."  
  
"Yes, Jon, but as you said earlier. I've been out for the past two weeks, so I was not aware of any of them. You should call me or have Barb call me and give me an update or something. You can't just run things the way you want without consulting me and then make me play catch up when I come back off of a site. "  
  
"Why are you so bent out of shape. You have the RFP's and you can now take the time to review them."  
  
"Yes, Jon I can. In the meantime I have to do a full study of Crealite, Inc. because they just called and informed me that we have been awarded the contract to reengineer their business!"  
  
"Really, that's great! Do you know how much that contract is for? What's your problem woman? This is good news."  
  
"Yes, it is and even better news is that I'm not doing it, you are! Make sure you're there bright and early Monday morning at 8:30am." She turned to walk away as Jon caught her attention.  
  
"Um Ms. Powers I'm afraid you are wrong about that, because I just started on the Coca-Cola account and I have to be in Terrytown, New York to do that."   
  
"What are you talking about? That contract was not supposed to start until two months from now." Elana said as she turned around putting her hand on her hip, thinking that Jon was trying to pull her leg as he did often to get out of the accounts he had no interest in other than the money.  
  
"Well apparently they wanted to get started sooner so they called last week and needed someone to come in and do the preliminaries. You weren't here, Sheila is on another project and Matthew is too inexperienced to send out alone, so I went myself.  
  
"Man. I guess that leaves me stuck with this one." Elana was frustrated and couldn't fathom facing the Logan's again. She slumped down into the leather couch next to the door in Jonathan's office  
  
Jonathan got up from his desk and walked over to the couch and sat down next to her, "What do you mean stuck? Crealite is a great company, why are you so down on it? Elana you really have got to lighten up some. You're such a ---a..."  
  
Elana folded her arms at his pending description of her character. She had heard some of the names he and the other employees would call her and now she confronted him with it. "A stiff or is it uptight or is it one of the more decorative words you all use to describe me?"  
  
"Look Elana, you just need to stop working so hard and have some fun or something. Life isn't all work and no play"  
  
"If I left it up to you that's all I'd be doing and we wouldn't be where we are today. Somebody has to take things seriously around here."  
  
"Yes, and I am going to continue to leave that part up to you because you do such a good job of it. I, on the other hand, try to be personable with people. So you see Elana we're both working together, just on different ends of the spectrum. You do things your way and I'll do things mine. It would help you out if you smiled a little more and stop worrying so much about other companies and how they don't want to accept us because we're a minority company. The last time, I looked we weren't doing so bad. The truth is companies recognize that we're a minority, but after they look at our accomplishments they have to throw their prejudices out the window so that they can improve their own bottom line."  
  
"Yeah that's true Jon. I'm just cautious and I do worry about loosing everything sometimes because of this racial divide, but we are making great progress." She eased her defensiveness and smiled slightly at him, while he began to expound on why they were not going to loose anything, but continue to grow.  
  
Elana couldn't ignore how strikingly handsome Jon was. He was tall and had a body built like a brick house. He dressed like he was made of a million dollars and when he spoke he commanded attention. His dark gray eyes were a striking contrast to his flawless light brown skin. Any woman would be happy to claim him for her own and many women had tried. He was a looker, but he knew it and took advantage of it at every opportunity. Elana recognized this about him right away because every secretary she hired, Black, White, Chinese, Portuguese, it didn't matter, would eventually start riding in to work with Jon. This is why she hired Barb because she needed someone who could handle administration without being preoccupied about 'why Jon wasn't in yet' or 'who that woman was calling Jon'. He was one of only a few men, Elana found herself attracted to since Sean, but he like all the others would never reach her heart and she did not want to complicate their business relationship with a personal one. Since the inception of their partnership he had pursued her, but she continually resisted him in hopes that he would eventually forget about it, but it hadn't happened yet.  
  
Moving in closer to her on the couch, Jon leaned in and said, "Now what you need is a boyfriend to help relieve you of some of that stress. I'd be happy to help you out with this. In fact I am so turned on by you right now that..."  
  
Before he could finish, Elana had jumped up and was at the door. "You know our rules on dating partners, Jon and we will not be breaking them any time soon."  
  
"As far as I remember those were your rules. That's ok. You just run on because I know you want me and it's just a matter of time Elana." He said with a sly grin teasing her.  
  
"Don't hold your breath because I don't want to have to look for another partner." She said as she walked out of his office and slammed the door.  
  
Barbara noticed Elana's frustration and stopped her before she entered her office.  
  
"Is that Jon trying to get in your business again?"  
  
"You know it Barb." Elana said as she stopped at Barb's desk area and put her elbows on the counter. "What am I going to do about him? He can be so forward. I've tried everything to let him know I'm not interested, but he just turns every situation around to him and I getting together."  
  
"He ain't nothin' but a man, Elana and whenever he's around a pretty woman he can't help himself. It's like an instinct he has. I don't think he ever learned to turn it off, he just follows it where ever it leads him."  
  
"Well, I wish it would stop leading him to me."  
  
"You can do something about that, you know."  
  
"I know, I know. Get myself a man and he'll back off. You always tell me that."  
  
"It don't make no sense for you to be by yourself Elana. You're an attractive girl and you have a lot to offer a man. I've only seen you go on a handful of dates since I've been here these last 5 years and never with the same guy three times. What are you holding out for?"  
  
"I don't know. I just can't click with men. I see them as a threat to my progress. When I think about being committed to a man I see some of my freedom being taken away and I have to be able to do what I have to do without worrying about whether someone else will think it's ok or not. I guess I'm just too independent right now."  
  
"Well you ain't getting no younger, honey just meaner. It seems like you just haven't found the right man. When you do, you'll be looking for reasons to be with him and make him love you and all of this success you're seeking won't mean nothin', unless he's happy. I hope you find that soon. And when you do, hold onto it and cherish it because you never know how much time the good Lord will give you."  
  
"I don't know sometimes if the Lord is going to give that to me at all Barb. I think I'm destined to be by myself."  
  
"There is no predestination in life because life is what you make it and God doesn't program us to live a certain way. He gives us free will to make things happen for ourselves, so you have the potential to find a good man. You got a good head on your shoulders and you've proven that you aren't gonna let no man take advantage of you, but you need to also, look for the good in men and experience the joys a man can bring in your life. It ain't natural for a pretty young woman like you to deny herself those joys, if you know what I mean?" Barb winked at Elana and they both snickered at her comment.  
  
"Yeah, I know what you mean and on that note let me get back to work. I'm going to be so busy all weekend on this new account so could you please hold all of my calls,  
and I'll return them on Monday afternoon or afterwards."  
  
Barb agreed and Elana went back to her office. She sat in her chair and turned to look out the window contemplating what she and Barb had talked about. She wanted someone in her life and she also wanted children one day. She was 30 years old and it had been too long since a man held her in his arms. Even though she had become self sufficient, she had sacrificed her womanhood for success. At first there was the grueling schoolwork and her determination to be the best and to prove to herself that she could do it. Then there was graduate school where she received her MBA and passed the CPA exam, both while working as a junior accountant in the accounting department of her father's company. Again her time was filled with studies and hard work and thus no time for a relationship.  
  
There was one attempt to have love, but she messed it up. She remembered dating Henry Jamison during her last year at the University of Pennsylvania where she attended graduate school. He was studying for his Ph.D. in psychiatry and worked at her father's company as a real estate agent in Philadelphia. He would have been the perfect man for her and she had decided to surrender her virginity to him, but during their first time together, all she could think about was Sean. As Henry devoured her body under his soft kisses she remembered the brief interlude she and Sean had shared and suddenly Henry disappeared in her thoughts and Sean consumed her. As she anticipated Henry's entrance into her celibate body she called Sean's name and said she loved him. Needless to say Henry went limp and was unable to perform, knowing that he was not the one she was in love with. That was the end of that. Afterwards Elana went into a deep depression about leaving Sean and buried herself again in her school and work to hide her anguish. Many times she fought herself to keep from calling Sean, so she never did because of a promise she had made to protect him.  
  
Now she was to come face to face with the man who had been instrumental in her departure and she wondered how she would hold up. Then there was the question of how would she react if she saw Sean again. She reasoned that Sean had to be married with a few kids by now so that he could carry on the infamous 'Logan Legacy' as they called it.  
  
As she settled on this thought, Elana knew she would have no problem keeping her composure because if there was one thing that she did not mess with that would be another woman's man and surely Sean belonged to someone. Elana convinced herself that Sheridan Winthrop probably had finally gotten her claws into him because after all she was always all over him during high school and afterwards. If it was not Sheridan then it definitely was someone else. Elana also reasoned that actually seeing Sean and knowing that he had a family would probably allow her to have some closure and possibly open her up to be able to find someone herself without comparing them to Sean.  
  
Now reinvigorated by her personal deception, she went to work on learning everything there was to know about Crealite and preparing a strategy to get the work done as fast as she could so that she could finally close that chapter of her life and move on to find a man who she could love as much as she had loved Sean Logan  
  



	12. DELIVER US FROM TEMPTATION

Part 12: 'DELIVER US FROM TEMPTATION'  
  
1998  
Greenwich, CT  
  
When he arrived at his parents' house early Friday evening, Sean looked around and found that no one seemed to be home. He decided to go in and say hello to his grandfather. He walked down the hallway and turned the corner to his grandfather's side of the house. When Sean entered grandpa William's room he saw that the old man was sitting in his favorite chair with the remote in his hand chuckling to a Bob Hope movie on the classic movie channel.  
  
"Hey, grandpa. Want some company?"  
  
Grandpa William was happy to see his grandson "Hey, boy come sit over here and look at this with me."  
  
Sean sat down on the small love seat and gazed at the television while thinking of how he could get out of his date with Sheridan. He just did not feel like pretending with her tonight. None of the excuses he thought of seemed feasible, so he just sat back and watched the TV with his grandfather; waiting for the time when he had to go pick Sheriden up for their date. Suddenly grandpa spit out some tobacco in his can and the sound startled Sean.  
  
"Granpa, why do you keep dipping that tobacco. Don't you know that stuff is probably the cause of your emphysema? "  
  
"Don't tell me about tobacco, boy. Your great, great grandfather made his living on tobacco, you know?"  
  
" I thought the family was into breeding thoroughbreds back then?"  
  
"Well, they were, but your grandpa had his own thing going on the side for a while. Before long he helped the family run the horse farm, but a lot of his money was made in tobacco. And that's where your trust fund originated."  
  
"Humph, I didn't know that." Sean said becoming interested in his ancestor. He folded his arms behind his head and relaxed waiting to hear grandpa tell him more. "What else can you tell me about your grandfather."  
  
"Well, boy, it's a lot of things you don't know about him and I don't think I'll live long enough to tell it all to you."  
  
"Awe come on grandpa, don't wuss out on me with the old, tired and dying excuse. You're living right now, so tell me what kind of man he was. Do I really look like him as much as you always say I do?"  
  
"Well, first of all, you do look a lot like him, 'cept you're a little taller and thicker. He had crystal blue eyes like ours. His hair was almost cut like yours and he was just a great man all around."  
  
"Why was he so great?"  
  
"Well, he loved the land, the people and most of all he loved his family. He didn't take to well to what everybody else did or expected him to do. He left home when he had a fight with his father over financial matters and my great grandfather, Ned, accused the woman who would become grandfather's wife of messing up his books."  
  
"It must have been a big argument for him to move out? Did his father not like great, great grandmother."  
  
"Well, it wasn't like that, she actually worked for him as his secretary and bookkeeper."  
  
"Really. Well if he trusted her with his books, why would he accuse her?"  
  
"Well there were other issues that he was dealing with that he refused to see at the time, but eventually it all worked out."  
  
Not wanting to uncover the past that he had hidden for so many years, Grandpa William scathed the real issue "Things were different then, son. Men couldn't do what they wanted, and if they tried, it would sometimes result in harm to everybody else, in the form of loss of business, hiked up prices or a slew of other things that men could think of to punish each other for the things they didn't agree with. There were even certain standards about who you could marry back then which would also affect the family."  
  
"So, I guess, because great, great grandmother's family didn't have a lot of money, then people would have really looked down on that?"  
  
"Yeah, something like that, son."  
  
"So, obviously he married her anyway. How did everybody take it?"  
  
"Well, it took some time for them to marry. They were in love with each other since they were teenagers and when they got to be young adults, the attraction was too strong for them to deny it. They would sneak around and steal kisses with each other throughout the day. My grandfather would make up special projects that grammy Marita would have to help him with so that they could be alone."  
  
"So grandpa , what are you saying, they messed around, back then?" Sean asked half laughing at the notion of people fooling around in the late 1800's.  
  
"I guess that's what you could call it at least for back in those days. Yeah I guess they fooled around."  
  
"Tell me about it grandpa. I know they told you the story or at least your father did."  
  
Grandpa knew all too well the story of his grandparents. As a young boy, he always had questions about his colored grandmother, so his grandparents' love story had been reiterated so many times that it was engraved in his memory for eternity, locked away intentionally to avoid the indignation his grandfather had to withstand just to be with his grandmother. Grandpa started to tell Sean some of the story, again leaving out the true identity of his grandmother. "Well the last straw for them occurred during a Masquerade party that my great grandfather, Ned had hosted. After that incident they both knew that they had to get married or risk disgracing themselves and their family in other ways...  
______________________________________________________________________  
  
1883  
At The Masquerade Party  
Lexington, KY  
  
"I'm glad to see you could make it." Marita said to Sean as she eased up next to the masked stranger who had just walked in.  
  
"How'd you know it was me?" Sean asked removing his mask.  
  
" I just knew." She replied looking back into the crowd of dancing marauders. She longed to be able to go out on the dance floor with Sean, but quickly dispelled the notion, knowing it would not happen.  
  
"You make a beautiful Cleopatra." Sean whispered as he admired Marita's soft silken brown skin under the blunt wig that adorned her head and he remembered the kiss they had shared when she came by his office a few days before to convince him to come home. He would not concede, but he did agree to come to the party to see everyone.  
  
"Thank you kind sir and you must be one of the handsomest --- well who are you supposed to be?" She asked studying his costume.  
  
"Can't you tell? I'm a court jester. See these things here..." Sean continued to point out the different aspects of his costume and how he could be identified. They stood together for a while and talked about Sean coming back home, but he would not back down and Marita grew tired of trying to convince him.  
  
As the night went along Marita realized that if they continued to stand on the sidelines together people would become suspicious.   
  
"Well, I think I'm going to go home."  
  
"And leave me here by myself?" Sean became saddened that he would be left to deal with the family about his leaving. He also wasn't ready for Marita to leave because he enjoyed being with her so much. Noticing Isaac's absence he asked, "Where's your father?"  
  
"He went to Louisville to see his cousin. You know he usually doesn't take part in these functions."  
  
Sean had quickly surmised that if Isaac were in Louisville the earliest he would be back, if he had left that day, would be tomorrow afternoon. "Yeah, you're right, he doesn't. When is he coming back? "  
  
"Probably day after tomorrow, he just left after work today."  
  
Silently elated at the possibilities Isaac's absence presented, Sean saw this as an opportunity to spend some time alone with Marita. Since he left home their encounters were brief, leaving him empty and unfulfilled.  
  
"Let's get outta here. I'll meet you at the field." He said leaving the room knowing she would soon follow. He made his way to the clearing and waited against the fence, staring out at the clearing until Marita would join him.  
  
As he waited he thought about Marita's visit to his office during the middle of the week. He had been washing up preparing to go to the field that Vivian had leased to him and start plowing for his next tobacco crop. When he saw MArita that day, all he wanted was to fuse his lips with hers. He had been so amused a few days before, when she spoke of looking for a friend who was 'short, bald, and fat with no teeth' and he knew she had missed their afternoon rendezvousing at the lakeside where they would share their kisses before he walked her home. Her excuse was that she was on a mission to get him back home, but what she really wanted was to see him herself. When they locked their mouths together he prayed that she would stop talking about everybody else and share a little intimacy with him on the twin sized bed that he had set up in his office. Unfortunately, she wouldn't relent, and he had become irritated with the subject and suddenly was not in the mood anymore for intimacy, so he got up and finished buttoning his shirt. Eventually he found that she had talked him into going to the Masquerade party his father was hosting for his new wife, Charlotte.   
  
Now as Sean waited for Marita, he again longed to share more intimate moments with her and realized that their brief encounters of stealing kisses could not go on forever without culminating into something more.  
  
A few minutes later, Marita slipped up behind him and jiggled him at his waist. Sean jumped at the suddenness of her approach, but after realizing it was her, he quickly turned around and grabbed her; then began to tickle her mercilessly until she went to her knees in surrender screaming loudly, begging for him to stop.  
  
"Now, THAT should teach you to try and scare me Ms. Peters." He said as he lifted her up to face him. Slightly smiling, admiring her choice of costume, he mused to himself, 'she certainly is a beautiful Cleopatra'. He stroked her cheek with the back of his forefinger. "I wish I had come as Antony." He said piercing precariously at her.  
  
Marita giggled slightly embarrassed at his compliment and blushing from the way he looked at her. "Now what would the guests have said?"  
  
"I guess we would have given them something else to talk about." Sean turned around and looked out at the field realizing that they were out in the wide open and any one of the guest might decide to venture out from the house to get some fresh air and possibly see them, so he asked "Where do you want to go?"  
  
"I don't care, you lead the way. We can just walk together." She said admiring the smoothness of his chest under the open shirt that he wore as part of his costume.  
  
Sean began to lead them toward her house right outside the edge of the Logan property. As they strolled along the familiar path to her house, he talked about the family as Marita listened intently. "I didn't get to speak to Lexy. She was so busy dancing with Pa that I didn't want to disturb her fun. I did speak to Alice, but she was so preoccupied with what Jeremy was doing that she forgot I hadn't been home in weeks. Jeremy and Clay were hovering around Charlotte like hawks. You know I don't think anyone was that concerned about my not being at home. It seems that they may even be getting used to it."  
  
"Maybe your right Sean, but I know I'll never get used to you not being around so often. I miss you walking me home and --- and a few other things." She said shyly.  
  
"Yeah, me too Marita."  
  
They continued to walk until they came to her house and sat on the swing on the front porch. The moonlight was their only illumination amongst the dark shadows of the night...  
  
"Um, Marita? " Holding up his hat and scratching his head, Sean was confused as to why they had to sit in the dark when there was no one in the house...  
  
"Yes, what is it?"  
  
"Um -Do you mind if we go inside? Don't you think it's a little dark out here? And besides someone might see us."  
  
"Oh, yes, I'm sorry. I just thought that you would be leaving..." Marita spat out a few more excuses as she got up from the swing and opened the door. Sean followed closely behind her. When they came into the entryway, Marita turned around, looking at Sean... "Stay right here while I light the lanterns."   
  
Sean removed his hat and stood in the doorway leaving the door ajar to allow some of the moonlight in to help Marita find her way around to get the matches and light the lanterns. When he saw the first flicker of light he closed the door behind him and walked into the kitchen. He recognized that Marita was visibly nervous; he assumed it was because they were in the house alone together without the threat of anyone interrupting them. So, to help alleviate her anxiety, Sean removed his cloak and sat down at the kitchen table, while Marita contemplated where to place the lanterns.  
  
"OK, here we go." She said after returning from lighting up the other rooms and placing one lantern in the kitchen and another in the sitting area to allow an even stream of light throughout the front of the house. Trying to get a conversation going to remove the overriding tension she felt, Marita began looking through the cupboards as she wrestled to untie her cloak, which had become knotted. "Would you like some coffee or ---or tea?" She said while pacing from cupboard to cupboard. Frustrated with the knot, she abandoned it and removed the costume wig, which had become uncomfortable and shook her hair out until it lay wildly about her face and shoulders. She patted her hair down and tried to keep talking to avoid an awkward silence. Then she returned to grapple with the knotted strings of her cloak. "We also have a few biscuits or --or some, some bread..."  
  
As she paced back and forth, Sean suddenly noticed how exquisitely she looked in the lantern lit room. Her auburn hair highlighted the smoothness of her copper brown skin and her large brown eyes exuded the essence of seduction. He wanted her, but he tried to quickly dismiss his vivid thoughts. Noticing the difficulty she was having with the knot and that her nervousness had not subsided, Sean got up from his seat, walked over to Marita and stood behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders to calm her then to help her with the knot. He could feel her soft round derriere against his groin and he could smell the faint perfumed scent that lingered about her. Her body being this close to his suddenly caused him to relinquish his self-control. Marita was stunned at the effects of their closeness and stood motionless.  
  
Sean brought his hands around to her neck and he hovered directly above her ear as he barely whispered, "No, Ms. Peters, I don't want any coffee..." loosening the knot, "...or tea," gently pulling the cloak from her shoulders, "...or biscuits..." As he moves her hair back and leaned down to take possession of her neck, the cloak falls to the floor and he continued his taunting whispers while planting long soft kisses on the side of her bare neck "...or bread..."   
  
Marita is instantly hypnotized by his touch and held captive by his kisses. "Well, I'm afraid that's all I have to offer."  
  
Sean turns her around to face him and she wraps her arms around his neck. Then he returns to kissing her, now on her chin and face, while slowly massaging her arms. "There is one more thing you can offer, Marita"  
  
Marita could not think clearly, feeling herself being drawn deeper and deeper into the certain trap that Sean was weaving for her. "And what would that be..."  
  
His response was to capture her lips with his own, sweep her up off of her feet and slowly walked to her bedroom while they continued to lose themselves in their kisses. As he carried her into her room, Marita felt as if she were being transported into another realm, which she knew nothing of. She became frightened from her ignorance, but safe as she relented to the man that held her in his arms.  
  
Inside the bedroom, Sean gently placed Marita's feet on the floor in front of her bed and looked into her eyes as he loosened the roped belt around her waist, causing the linen dress to fall slightly open. Sean next removed the scarf from around his neck and rid himself of his shirt. Seeing his chiseled torso, Marita went beyond herself and moved in closer to him, putting her hands on his chest, she looked up at him relaying that she was offering herself without rebuttal. Sean, understanding the gesture and unable to contain the passion burning within him any longer, pulled her dress open and slid it off her shoulders exposing her bloomers and corset, which tightly hugged her body and boosted her full chest above the fringes of the garment. Sean reached around her back and began rapidly untying the corset as he planted vigorous kisses on her neck.   
  
Frustrated with the tight knotting, Sean turns Marita around with her back facing him and he quickly rips the remaining strings that stubbornly bound her body. Shocked by the veracity of his actions, Marita grabs hold of the corset and wraps her arms around it to prevent it from falling to the floor and completely exposing her upper nakedness. Again Sean returns to ravaging the side of her neck and shoulders, and now holding her waist between his strong hands, and pressing her backside into his erection, he gently moves his hands under the loosely hanging article and gently glides upward trying to get Marita to relax and let go of this one obstacle to their ultimate pleasure and fulfillment.  
  
Sean knowing he'd startled her with ripping the strings from her clothing sought to sooth her tension. He softly croons behind her ear and his warm, moist breath weakens Marita's will. "Relax, sweetheart. I'm sorry. I'm not going to hurt you, just let me feel how beautiful you are?" Feeling her grip on the corset loosen, he inches his way up and reaches the boundaries her hands had created outside of the corset to hold it up. Still feeling resistance, he pleads with her "Please, Marita. Please, honey. Please" he continued to beg her as his kisses became more fervent all over her neck and shoulders.   
  
Breathless with passion and fear Marita tried a frail attempt at protest, but couldn't find her words. "Sean, I don't know if I... if we..."  
  
"Shhhhh. You can honey, you can... and we should." He coerces her as he gently forces his hands beyond her weakening barrier and cups both of her erect breast as the corset falls to the recesses below. Looking over her shoulder, he moans with pleasure upon finally visualizing what he had only dreamed about for years and now they were within his grip. As he uses his thumbs to gently but quickly massage her nipples, Marita feels a flow moistness between her legs and tightens her thighs hoping it will cease. Sean now turns her around again to face him and he captures her mouth as he moves his hands to her hips to discard her of the bloomers. Wrapping her hands around his neck, Marita begins returning his passionate kisses as she weaves her hands through Sean's hair.  
  
Sean is relieved that the bloomers are not as challenging as the corset and relishes in his accomplishment as he expertly slides them down her hips and they quickly fall to the floor. 'I've got to be with her, I can't wait any longer' he thinks to himself as he moves slightly away from her and seeks to become free of his own pants, undergarments and shoes before he explodes. As they stand bearing their nakedness to each other, Marita steps out of the bloomers and Sean gently places her on the bed, removes her shoes and settles himself above her, resting his weight on his knees and hands. Marita is outside of herself and wreathing back and forth underneath him waiting for the longing in her to be satiated. Sean, intoxicated with the wiggling of her firm breasts devours one with long hungry motions and then the other awakening Marita to an overflow of feelings she had never experienced and yet another level of pleasure the she never thought any human could feel. And at that moment her fear overtakes her.   
  
As Sean continues his pursuit she feels his raw, hard, bulging manhood on her thigh and knows what is about to happen as Sean inches closer to the silent pulsing that calls for him to possess her. He can feel the warmth and moisture of her femininity with his male sex and just as he prepares to claim this woman as his own, binding himself to her for life, she cries out...  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!!! STOP IT!!! STOP IT, NOW, PLEASE SEAN NO!!!"  
  
"WHAT??" Sean is jolted up from his position, initially not recognizing the reasons for her outburst.  
  
Marita begins to howl uncontrollably as she wraps herself in a fetal position and buries her head in the covers, trying to hide herself from him.  
  
Sean recovering from his own ebbing passion realizes what he has done to her. He feels a deep anger welling up inside him for his attempted violation, but at the same time he moves to console her. He gently wraps her in the covers and puts his pants on. Then he sits down next to her and pulls her up to his chest and holds her as she sobs. Rubbing her hair and rocking her back and forth he tries to console her as his own tears break forth and fall streaming into her hair...  
  
"Shhhhh sweetheart, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Marita. Please forgive me. I didn't plan this, believe me I didn't -- I didn't, honey. I love you."  
  
They both sat together slowly rocking and being consoled in each other's arms. Marita had calmed down and was comforted by the fact that Sean was not trying to take advantage of her. She realized that she had played along at first even though she knew that they had crossed over the forbidden threshold. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, but she just could not bring herself to completely release her body to the passion Sean was promising her. All of the conversations she had heard her Aunt Nana and the women on the farm have about women who gave their bodies freely to a man without the privilege and security of marriage had rushed through her head at the height of the moment she and Sean shared and she could not help, but think that now they would speak of her that way if she continued in her bed with Sean.   
  
"Sean, I'm sorry for scaring you, I just ---I just couldn't go on with..."  
  
"You don't have to explain. I understand. I should have never let it get that far." Holding her upright, he looked into her brown eyes with all the emotion and fervor of a man in love and pushed her curly auburn hair away from her face. "Marita, you are the most intelligent, beautiful and chaste woman I have ever had the privilege to share what we experienced together tonight with. I know I've violated you, but I do realize that I can't go on like this without having you to myself, and I swear to you on this night that I will marry you and make what happened between us honorable, no matter what I have to do, even if it means we have to leave Lexington."  
  
"Was that a proposal Sean Logan?" Marita asked, somewhat consoled by his loving words to her.  
  
Sean smiled at her realizing that his proposal was more of a promise than a request and their intimacy had given him the impetus to find a way to be with her no matter what the cost. Now he was not going to hide behind societal attitudes against interracial love because to him their love was colorless even though their skins were not. Despite how he felt, he also knew he had to protect her and their future children from the possibility of violence and retaliation against their love. So, this became his sole conviction.  
  



	13. PERSONAL RESOLVES & LIFELONG REGRETS

Part 13: PERSONAL RESOLVES AND LIFELONG REGRETS  
  
1998  
Logan Home  
  
"So, what did they do after that?" Sean asked.  
  
"Well, my grammy was so distraught over what had happened that kept a safe distance from my grandpa who became so frustrated with himself for lacking self-control and with her resolve to not repeat their attempted fornication that he began working more diligently on his tobacco crop and taking odd jobs to establish himself, so that they could go away and marry."  
  
"So, when were they able to get married?"  
  
"Well it was not too long after that time."  
  
"Why didn't they just get married in Lexington and live with his father Ned, until they could get on their feet or something?"  
  
Grandpa feeling that Sean was getting too close for comfort shrugged it off. "Oh who knows why people did a lot of things back in them days, boy. Things were different then and maybe they were ashamed because of what they did and decided to get married where no one would see them and ask a lot of questions. Then too you have to remember that your grandpa Sean was estranged from the family at the time." Now he gets frustrated, "Ooh there were a lot of reasons boy. It's hard to pinpoint one thing. Why you wanna know everything anyway, some things we don't need to know."  
  
"Yea, I see what you mean grandpa, but I think we should know all about where we came from. That way we can understand ourselves and the things we do sometimes." As Sean spoke he remembered the conversation he had with Elana years before about her getting to know where she came from. Now after having this conversation with his grandfather he could understand what she meant. The story about his great, great grandparents rung familiar to what had happened to him and Elana on his first Spring Break from Harvard, almost 13 years ago.  
  
Even though he was intrigued with the history of his family, he remembered that he had to get together with Sheridan that night. Soon he would ask grandpa to tell him more. "I gotta go grandpa. I need to go pick up Sheridan, we're going out to dinner tonight. I'll be here all weekend, so I want us to get together again so we can talk and you can tell me more about my great, great grandparents."  
  
Grandpa, recognizing Sean's all too familiar look of indifference toward the woman he'd just spoken of said, "You still with that upiddy Winthrop gal. She's been running after you since high school ain't she. What's keeping you from marrying her?"  
  
"Grandpa, Sheridan and I have an understanding. Eventually we'll get married. We're just not in a hurry."  
  
"Seems to me you're the one not in a hurry. When a man loves a woman he'll get married on a roof and women always want to get married, especially if they got a good Logan man. If you're anything like your great, great grandpa women was practically throwing themselves at him, but when he realized he loved your great, great grandma he was like a madman trying to claim her for himself. Seems you don't feel that way about your Winthrop woman."  
  
"Sheridan and I get along grandpa. She's beautiful and she'll make a good wife someday. I'm not looking for the kind of love you're talking about like your grandfather had. I had that once, but I was foolish and let her get away from me and now I know I'll never have that again." Sean lamented, referring to Elana and grandpa picked up on his meaning.  
  
"You talkin' about that colored gal you use to be running around with. That Powers girl? She ran out on you?" Grandpa's Alzheimer's was kicking in and he asked this not remembering that Sean had told him about it years ago.  
  
"Yeah, the letter she wrote said she couldn't handle an interracial relationship and that she didn't want her children to be looked down on and put in a position of choosing their color." As Sean recalled the letter a lump formed in his throat.  
  
"Wrote you a letter, huh. She couldn't even face you to tell you?"  
  
"No, I guess she knew I wouldn't let her just walk out on me like that, so she probably thought the letter was best." Remembering that the letter was the last he had heard of Elana and that now he would be in her presence in less than 72 hours caused a tear to form in his eye. He knew that he had to do everything possible to avoid her and was relieved that his father would be meeting with her on Monday morning. He could see that just the mention of her name brought back the same pain he felt 9 years earlier and he knew that seeing her would not lessen it.  
  
"If you ask me, she probably couldn't face you because she knew she couldn't tell you in person for the same reason."  
  
"You mean she didn't want me stopping her?"  
  
"No, I mean she didn't want to stop herself. Any woman who don't want a man usually don't have a problem telling him so to his face."  
  
"So what are you saying grandpa, she didn't want to write that letter?"  
  
"You figure it out for yourself boy, you're a grown man and have had experience with women, I guess, so you should be able to answer that one. It's for the best anyway. Being with a colored woman can make your life hard. People wouldn't like to see a good looking, wealthy and bright Irish boy like yourself hooked up with no colored woman. It would make things hard for you in business and all. I don't think the stockholders would look too lightly on colored children running around the office like you used to do when you were a boy."  
  
"Well, things are a little different now from when you were coming up grandpa. Prejudice is still rampant, but interracial couples are becoming more common. But I don't know why we're talking about this. It doesn't matter anymore anyway. I'm resigned to marry Sheridan soon and let you see your first great grandchild so you know I'm carrying on our legacy." Sean stood up as he mentioned Sheridan, reached over and kissed his grandpa on his head. "I'll talk to you some more tomorrow, ok?"  
  
"OK, son. I'll be here." Grandpa William watched his grandson as he walked out of the room and could tell that he was not happy. He could not help but see that he still loved the Power's girl, but was willing to settle and carry on with his life. Grandpa William wondered how much he had played a part in his grandson's resolve to let the colored woman go. He remembered how bitter he had been over his grandfather not being able to run for governor because of his colored wife. He also remembered the stories about their flight to Connecticut, where his grandfather had to separate from his family, after people down south found out about his Irish grandfather and his colored grandmother being married and having twin boys. Evidently his great aunt Lexie had taken the baby boys into town one day when she was babysitting. She so much wanted everyone to see how beautiful her nephews were, but was careful and told everyone that they were children of a visiting mulatto couple from up North. Unfortunately, Georgina was in the store and noticed that the boys had Sean's eyes and Marita's auburn hair and round face. She quickly put two and two together realizing that she hadn't seen Marita for months in town and that Sean at 28 still had not taken a wife, which was odd in those times. Georgina had seen too many mixed couples and their babies in Paris to know that these boys were not from two mulatto parents, but were the result of a black woman and a white man.  
  
After that, rumors spread quickly and Sean felt it was best if he moved his little family to Connecticut, where interracial marriage was legal and segregation was not enforced. Grandpa William was resentful because he was never close to his great aunts and uncle and he only saw his great grandfather Ned once before he died. Grandpa at one time for the better part of his life had felt cheated out of part of his heritage because of his grandmother. Fortunately, old age softened the old man's heart when he remembered his father telling him that his grandfather was never unhappy unless grammy Marita had to be away from home.  
  
Grandpa William now knew that he or his family would not have been any better people if his grandmother had been white, and he realized that his grandfather had truly carried on the Logan legacy of unconditional love and willingness to defy what is wrong and fight for what is right regardless of the odds. He knew that this is the part of the legacy that he had not taught his family and wondered if he would be damned for it at his death. He had seen the suffering of his grandson throughout the years because of his and his son's adamantly persuading him to not continue the relationship with the Powers girl, and when it finally ended he saw his grandson seep into a passive state of a man not willing to put too much effort into anything that he felt strongly about. This thought pained grandpa and he knew that sooner or later before he crossed over he would have to reveal what he had hidden all of his life so that his grandson could go back to being the man he almost was: a true Logan who loves unconditionally and has great passion for what he believes in. Grandpa rested on that thought and slumbered throughout the night dreaming about his childhood and his sweet grammy Marita.  
  



	14. IMPROPER PROTOCOL

Part 14: IMPROPER PROTOCOL   
  
After leaving his grandfather's room Sean made his way to the kitchen picked up the phone and dialed Sheridan's number. The phone rings.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi, Sheridan, it's Sean."  
  
"Oh, hi. Where are you? I'm really looking forward to seeing you tonight."  
  
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm running a little late. I got caught up talking to my grandfather."  
  
"That's ok. I'll be waiting until you get here."  
  
"I'll be over as soon as I can. See you when I get there."  
  
He hung up the phone and slowly made his way to the front door. Once he got outside he stood at the top of his steps and took in a deep breath. It was going to be a long night and he had to brace himself for it. He went down the steps and got into his 1964 red Mustang, which he had driven for the past 14 years. He loved that car and took great pains to keep it in mint condition. After two new engines and several other replacement parts the car maintained its new appearance.  
  
As he drove to Sheridan's house, Sean reasoned that marrying Sheridan was not going to be all that bad. Sheridan was a good woman and she was very beautiful. He figured she had to know that he was not madly in love with her so what would be the harm. He knew that all she wanted was the Logan name and right now all he wanted in his life was for things to continue to run smoothly. So in essence he would give her his name and she would ensure that his life would follow the predetermined course that his father and grandfather had willed for him: a comfortable life with a socially acceptable family.   
  
Thinking more of Sheridan, Sean winced at the fact that she was so emotionally detached and it seemed that all she was interested in was money and position. She prided herself on knowing everything there was to know about prominent people and what they wanted and needed to succeed. She made her living as an image consultant advising high-level executives and politicians on how to present themselves so as to be perceived in the most favorable way. She was one of the best at it, but the side effects were that she judged everyone by the same standard and Sean did not like it at all. Whenever they would go to parties together, she was always so preoccupied with proper protocol and what everyone was wearing including their accessories and she never relented to categorizing people as upper class and lower class, old money or new money. Sean especially hated when she would critique his character. She was constantly telling him that he needed to associate socially with other more prominent young executives regardless of what he thought of their character. Her idea was that 'if you're seen with the right people things would come easier to you.' Sean could not help, but agree with her, but some people he just was not going to be associated with.  
  
James Payton was on Sheridan's 'toppers' list and she was constantly egging Sean to invite him out with them so that she would have the opportunity to try and enlist him and some of his international business associates as clients. Sean, however had no intention of ever being seen with James outside of the office or on business and he and Sheridan always ended up in an argument about the subject. Sean continued to think about these things as he drove up to Sheridan's house.  
  
When he approached her driveway, he felt a certain chill run up his spine, but ignored it. He parked behind her jaguar and sat there for a few minutes conditioning himself to act happy and excited. He slowly got out of the car and walked up to the door and knocked. After a few seconds, Bernard, the butler answered.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Logan. Come in please."  
  
Sean walked into the entryway and stood there with his hands in his pockets waiting for Bernard to direct him.  
  
"May, I take your jacket, sir?"  
  
"No. Thanks anyway. I'm just here to pick up Sheridan. Where is she?"  
  
"Ms. Winthrop will be down shortly. You can wait in the sitting room. Please follow me"  
  
Sean knew where the sitting room was and could never figure out why he had to continually go through this protocol whenever he came to Sheridan's house. He almost felt like a stranger. He also never knew why Sheridan insisted on having this big house when there was only her. He surmised that she just wanted to keep up appearances for anyone who may come around and wonder how much money she and her family had. He hated pompous displays and fumed over this as he followed Bernard to the sitting room. When they reached the entrance, Bernard motioned for Sean to enter and took his leave, closing the double doors behind him.  
  
No one was in the room and a dreary silence encased him as he scanned his surroundings. Every piece of furniture had some type of social significance and Sean never knew whether he could actually sit on anything because of it's historic value, so he just propped his back up against the mantle over the fireplace and folded his arms and then crossed his legs to wait for Sheridan to make her entrance. He waited for several minutes and thought about leaving when he heard her coming through the door.  
  
"Ah, here you are love." She said with her arms outstretched headed toward Sean.  
  
He stood erect from his leaning position and moved toward her and they fell into an embrace. He kissed her forehead and held her forearms as he moved her back. "You look lovely tonight and what is that fragrance you're wearing?" He asked smiling at her.  
Sheridan stepped back to model her new satin wrap-around, royal blue dress that hung right above her knees. The color was a perfect match for her dark blue eyes. The full skirt of the dress swirled as she turned around. She also wore a sapphire and diamond choker around her neck and high-heeled royal blue designer shoes to match her dress. Her flaxen blonde hair was pulled up in a professionally styled chignon.  
  
"So, you like this ensemble? I ordered it from a new German designer who is becoming the rave amongst the upper echelon. Louis Zantuk, a French beauty consultant styled my hair. He just opened a few new full service beauty salons and spas all over town and everyone who is anyone has appointments there." As she spoke she rumbled through her purse looking for something. "Sean, I'm going to have to make you an appointment there for a manicure and a massage. You never know who you may run into to boost your image."  
  
As she ranted on Sean led her toward the front door so that they could get the evening started and then over with. Sheridan continued looking for something in her purse and finally located it.  
  
"Here is that key." She stopped in the hallway realizing she had forgotten something. "Oh Sean wait here I forgot my attaché case. I have some things in it I want you to show you later on."  
  
"OK, sure. I'll wait here until you get it."  
  
Sheridan walked away from Sean and into one of the side rooms and then reappeared with her alligator attaché` case  
  
"Now, I'm ready. I just have some ideas in here I want to run across you while we're eating."  
  
As she talked she allowed Sean to gently guide her out of the front door and into his car. Sean got into the car and started it up while Sheridan went on and on about the pomp and prestige of the new neighbors and some of her new clients. He patiently listened and smiled as she continued on. He was wishing that he had cancelled, but he determined that he was going to make the most of it. He had long settled on the fact that once they were married he would be working in New York so much and she would be traveling around so often that they really would not have to spend too much time together. He considered these occasional dates, where he had to force himself to listen to her go on and on while he faked interest, as the price he had to pay to eventually have the wife and children that his father and grandfather could be proud of. He was getting anxious to have children especially because of his grandfathers failing health, but he hoped that they would not take on any of Sheridan's traits other than her beauty. He definitely wanted his grandfather to at least see one of his great grand children before he died. As he thought about these things, he heard Sheridan calling his name...  
  
"Sean? Sean? Are you listening to me?"  
  
"Yes, sweety, I was just trying to concentrate on this crazy traffic. What were you saying?"  
  
"I said that you need to get rid of this ancient car. It's a disgrace that a man of your stature is driving around in this thing. Now if you ask me you should drive a Lincoln Continental. It reeks of prestige and it is an American car. You don't want to cause any friction with the American public by having a foreign car. This thing on the other hand is a throw back to, to I don't know what. You really have got to change what you drive Sean."  
  
"Well Ms. Winthrop. I happen to love this car and I won't be getting rid of it anytime soon." He said sarcastically.  
  
"I can't believe you. Sometimes you can be so stubborn. Why in the world would you want to keep this thing? It's like you're trying to hold on to a part of your past."  
  
"Maybe you're right Sheridan." He said quickly looking at her and then his mind wondered again as he turned forward and whispered to himself, "Maybe you're right."  
  
During the rest of the drive Sheridan continued to pour one her suggestions as to how Sean should change his attire, his appearance as well as his outside activities to meet the right people, while Sean's mind drifted to his father's meeting Monday morning with Elana. He wondered what she looked like after 9 years and what type of person she had become: if she were any different than when they started college. She was always so different than Sheridan. Even though she had money, she was so down to earth and that's what he remembered loving most about her. She never minded throwing on a pair of jeans and T-shirt and then walking alongside the lake in the park or heading to the local diner to grab a burger and fries. Sean had missed that in his life which had been replaced with weekly outings with Sheridan in the most expensive places in town. He used to say to himself that if he didn't have money she probably wouldn't give him the time of day. At first he rather enjoyed having her by his side because most of the men in the room would stare admiring her beauty, but once they talked to her for a while, they quickly found out where her mindset was and began to shy away because all she thought about was getting clients and changing everyone's image. Now Sean felt the same way, he could not stand her constantly suggesting what he needed to change about himself and never once heard her say what she actually liked about him.  
  
Soon they arrived at the restaurant and were escorted out of the car by the valet workers. Sean led Sheridan into the dining hall of the restaurant and they were seated.  
  
"I hope these seats are acceptable to you Mr. Logan." Pedro, the hostess said as he pushed Sheridan's seat in and gave her a distressing look knowing that she would be sending the food back several times because of changing her mind or wanting to be seen eating what some of the more prominent guests were eating.  
  
"Thanks Pedro, this is great." Sean said  
  
"Your waitress Pamela will be with you shortly." Pedro took his leave.  
  
Sheridan looked at her menu and picked out her entire meal, but Sean didn't feel like eating.  
  
When the waitress came to the table, he just ordered an appetizer and Sheridan ordered a drink, appetizer and salad.  
  
"You don't want a drink or anything love?" She asked before the waitress left.  
  
"No, I'm not in the mood for a drink right now." Sean said, motioning to the waitress that this would be all for him for now.  
  
Soon the waitress returned and served their drinks, appetizers and bread. As they waited for Sheridan's meal, Sean played with the homemade bread that had been sliced and decoratively placed on a plate for them to enjoy before dinner. Sheridan snacked on her appetizer or 1st course as Sean looked at her knowing that before dinner was over with she would order $150 worth of food alone, but only half sample everything.  
  
"Sean please do not play with the bread. That's so uncouth. We're not at some fast food restaurant or something. This is a very upstanding place and people are looking at you." Sheridan was becoming agitated at the slight glances they were receiving mostly because they were a good-looking couple and people were curious as to who they were more than anything. She thought that it was because of Sean's antics with the bread.  
  
"Sheridan. I'm paying for this bread so I'm going to do whatever I want to with it and if I want to play with it then that's what I'll do." He takes a piece of the bread tears off the edges and balls it up in his fingers. "Did you ever eat bread balls when you were a kid?"  
  
Sheridan is sorely upset now as Sean continues to roll each piece of bread up in his hand and place it on his bread plate in a circular design. Wiping her mouth with her dinner napkin, Sheridan says, "I can't believe you. What is your problem? I'm going to the powder room, and when I come back I hope that you will have regained your composure and act a little more civilized in this establishment." She got up quickly and strutted to the ladies room as Sean threw a little piece of bread at her back, but she didn't feel it. He laughed to himself thinking she was going to have a fit when she came back and saw a bread ball on the floor near her chair. He figured that if he acted obnoxious enough, maybe she would cut the date short and he could go home and talk to grandpa more.  
  
A few minutes later, Sheridan came back to her seat and was determined that this night with Sean would not be ruined. They had been distant from each other for the past few months and she could see that during that time he seemed to be slipping even further and further away from her. She did not want to risk not snagging one of the most eligible bachelors around, so she was going to do what she could to secure that for herself, but she could not tolerate him embarrassing her. She sat down with a smile and a renewed resolve to lighten up their evening.  
  
"Now. Have you decided to behave yourself Mr. Logan." Sheridan asked as she took her seat.  
  
"Yes. I'm sorry. I was just trying to have a little fun. I'll try to behave."  
  
Soon the server came with the main course and Sean watched Sheridan as she ate and they listened to the soft music of the band in silence. Before dessert was served Sheridan thought it would be a good time to show Sean her new ideas for her image consulting company.  
  
"Oh, Sean let me show you this." She reaches for her attaché case and as she opens it she continues talking. "I was thinking that I need to diversify more. Right now I only cater to the wealthy white clients, but I have noticed that there are quite a few well to do African Americans coming on the scene who work in corporate America and may also appreciate my services. Now to do that, I need to team up with someone. Sort of Network or use that person's name and image to get me into the market. If I can show that I'm doing business with a prominent and respected black company then I think I will be readily accepted. You know how black people love to dress expensively and spend a lot of money on whatever it takes so that they can be accepted." She smiled as she lavished in her idea of bringing in countless minority clientele and the profits it would bring her.   
  
Sean grimaced at her use of words and became defensive. "What do you mean they'll do whatever it takes to be accepted?"  
  
"Well, you know, they always want to fit in with us, so what better way for them to do it than to team up with someone whose business it is to better the image of society."  
  
"Sounds like you better be careful if you actually enter this field because I don't think black people take too kindly to someone who stereotypes them."  
  
"Yeah maybe you're right. I don't want to turn that market off." As she thought about what Sean said she pulled out some magazines and other paper work out of her bag then closed the case and put it on the floor. Sean had become interested in what she was contemplating and continued their conversation.  
  
"So, who have you targeted to network with you on this venture."  
  
"Well, I haven't actually contacted anyone, but I have been spending my time with a marketing plan and I have researched these black magazines to find out if there's a particular company or person that the black market is familiar with. I came up with a few people, but I finally have settled on one person."  
  
"And who is that?"  
  
"Do you remember George Powers?"  
  
Sean felt as if he had been jolted at the mention of Mr. Powers name. "Yeah. I know him. He's the real estate guy who lives in Greenwich Village."  
  
"Yes, and did you know that he and my father went to college together and that they're really good friends. He even donated a large sum of money to my father's campaign when he ran for governor years ago."  
  
"I remember that. You know he would be a good candidate for your plan. He's been in business for years and he's pretty successful. As far as I know he has a very clean image and a lot of black people really respect him. That may work well for you Sheridan. The question is how are you going to convince him to do this?"  
  
"Oh, no, no love, it isn't George Powers that I'm thinking about. We need someone more contemporary and more with the times. Someone on the way up and who everyone is watching. Someone very attractive who the younger generation can look up to and pattern after."  
  
Sean knew she could only be talking about one person if she had mentioned George Powers and his stomach began to churn with anticipation of just hearing the words roll off of Sheridan's tongue.  
  
"I'm talking about Mr. Powers daughter. Elana. Don't you remember her? She was the pretty black girl from high school. Come to think about it, I think I remember you getting some math help from her at one time or another."  
  
"Yeah, I know who you're talking about." Sean said trying to sound disinterested while hoping the gnawing in his stomach would cease. He had hoped to come on this date to forget about Elana and now she was the topic of conversation.  
  
Sheridan continued with a hint of humor in her voice. "As a matter of fact there used to be a rumor that you had a crush on her or something. Do you remember that?"   
  
"I don't remember any rumors." Sean answered bluntly.  
  
"Oh yeah, Sean. People use to say that you liked her and would follow her around like a little puppy dog. Isn't that just too funny. You and a black girl. I get a kick out of it just thinking about it. Anyway. I was looking through these black business magazine and there are several references to her company Powers & Lambert." Sheridan shifts the magazines to Sean after she opens to the pages mentioning Elana's company and she continues. "You know I even saw her on the cover of these two - Accountants Monthly and this Black Enterprise." She shoved the magazines in Sean's face and he felt that his heart would stop pumping.  
  
The Accountants Monthly was a business magazine that featured Elana on the cover. She was dressed in a black business suit with a lavender blouse and standing with her arms folded. As he studied the picture, it seemed as if she looked directly at him and was about to speak. Her hair was pulled up and long wisps of hair hung loosely curled below her shoulders. The title read 'The Changing Face of Accounting' with a caption reading 'Minority and Women Owned Businesses are Taking the Accounting Profession to New Levels'. The Black Enterprise magazine featured Elana and her partner Jonathan Lambert on the cover. On this magazine Jonathan is in the background leaning against a large cherry wood desk with his arms folded while Elana is standing authoritatively in the foreground holding some paperwork and wearing a pair of Brooks Brothers glasses. She is dressed in a sky blue tailored pants suit with a white silk blouse. The jacket to the suit is tied in the middle and hugs her full hips while the large collars of her blouse, overlap the collars of the suit and open up just enough to not reveal any cleavage. Her hair is loose, combed back off of her face and hangs straight down her back just below her shoulders in a blunt cut. The caption reads 'Brains, Beauty and Braun Pulls Major Companies Out of Slump.' Her big light brown eyes captivate Sean and he is amazed at how beautiful she has become and almost can not believe it's her. He searches the picture and finds she does not have a wedding ring on her finger and is somewhat disappointed. He continues to stare at the cover and noticing how strikingly handsome Jonathan Lambert is, he surmises that the two of them had to be involved. They looked too good together not to be and he found some comfort in that thought. Meanwhile, Sheridan was continuing to expound on her plans to team up with Elana.  
  
"Now Elana is young, very intelligent, and successful, which lends credibility to her great image. Her style is impeccable and worthy of duplicating, but the drawing card is that she is strikingly beautiful and extremely sexy which will draw other black people to her. Don't you think, Sean"  
  
Sean was still in a daze wondering what Elana actually was like as a person now. The last he heard she was hard to deal with and arrogant, but somehow he could not picture her like that. He last remembered her as lively, full of energy and having great passion for what she believed in. Hearing Sheridan call his name he responded, "What? I'm sorry. Don't I think what?"  
  
"Don't you think she is beautiful and sexy which will lure important clients particularly other women who want to be like her and successful men who want to be with her?"  
  
"Yeah, people will DEFINITELY be drawn to her." He said thinking about how drawn he was to her just looking at her picture. He turned the magazines around and handed them back to Sheridan. "You know I think I'll take that drink now." He said motioning for the waitress to bring him a screwdriver. "Heavy on the vodka." He instructed, hoping that a few of the drinks would rid his mind of her, but after four of them, it did not and he still could see the image of her staring out at him from the front pages of the magazines.  
  
After a few more drinks he had become somewhat animated and finally spoke as Sheridan went on about her plans. "You'd better know what you're talking about when you go to meet with Elana. People say that she isn't one to mess with, so make sure whatever you're offering her is fair because I'm sure she'll see straight through it if it's anything, but what it should be or she may throw you out of her office."  
  
"Well I just told you what I'm going to offer. As a business man what do you think."  
  
Sean for the life of him couldn't remember her telling him what she was going to offer so he skated the issue. "Sheridan, you know what you're doing just make sure you would offer a white firm the same thing."   
  
Sheridan continued to speak of the company this time referring to Jonathan "And her partner here is quite good looking himself and will also draw other prominent blacks. I wonder if they're a couple. They sure would make a nice one and that would be even better for my business."  
  
"Maybe they're just partners Sheridan. You know business only."  
  
"Did you look at them. I don't see how they can just be partners, and it seems that neither one of them is married. I don't see any rings on either of their fingers."  
  
"You know Sheridan their personal life really is none of your business." He said pointing a finger at her with an almost empty glass in his hand and spilling some of the remaining drink onto the table.  
  
"Hey what's wrong with you? I think you've had a little too much to drink and it's time for us to go home." Sheridan motions for the waitress and asks for their check. When she returns Sean signs the ticket and they get up to leave. At the parking lot Sheridan volunteers to drive and complains the whole way home, terrified of anyone seeing her with a drunk Sean and driving the Mustang. Sean lays back as his mind is flooded with thoughts of Elana. Why after all of these years was she suddenly everywhere: in his company, in his mind and now part of his girlfriend's life. It pained him to be coming so close to her and he strained to figure out how he would avoid her for the duration of her company's involvement with Crealite. He contemplated taking a vacation, but decided that it would not last long enough. And finally he realized that there was no way that he would be able to avoid her, so he had to create a diversion to keep his mind off of her while she was at Crealite and not allow him to be too affected when they would come in contact with each other again.  
  
When they drove up to her house, Sheridan parked the car and got out. She was mad because of the spectacle Sean had made of himself at the restaurant, by having too much to drink and throwing bread all over the place. "Sean, I'm going to call a cab to come and take you home. You can pick up your keys tomorrow.  
  
Sean made his way out of the car after he had decided how he would avert his attention. His solution was that he would begin to shower Sheridan with a lot of attention and thus he would be too occupied to notice Elana. "Hey, baby," he said as he grabbed Sheridan by the waist with one hand and took the pins out of her hair with the other so that it fell over her shoulders and down to the small of her back. "Why don't you come here and give your man a little taste." He slurred his words as he tried to kiss Sheridan and moved his hands under her dress to grab her derriere.  
  
Sheridan reacted by avoiding his kiss and shoving his hand back to his side. "Honestly Sean, you are drunk. Now look what you've done to my hair. I was at the salon all day getting this done." Standing beside him, she put her arm under his and behind his back and helped him up the steps and into her house. Once inside, she got Bernard to help her put him in the sitting room on the couch. When they laid him down Sean pulled Sheridan down with him and began kissing her feverishly. Bernard stood there in astonishment at his behavior and wanted to know if he should help Sheridan. Sean spoke "Get lost Bernard, I'm about to make love to my woman. Unless you want to watch."  
  
Bernard turned around quickly and stormed out of the room and closed the doors loudly. Sean continued to hold Sheridan and kiss her against her protests. "Come on baby. It's been a long time. I haven't been treating you like I should be." He rolled over on top of her as she tried to break free.  
  
'Sean stop it you're drunk. Let me go I said! Let me go!" She beat on his chest as he engulfed her mouth and kissed her with everything he had. He had to make love to Sheridan wildly and passionately because it was his only release from thoughts of Elana. He grabbed hold of her wrists and held them with one hand as he moved his other hand through the wrap opening of her dress and grabbed her small breast. He slowed his kisses long enough to speak to her "Come on Sherry, you know you want it. Stop fighting me and I'll give you what you want. I'm not going to hurt you."   
  
Sheridan relented at the sound of his deep voice and the feel of his hands cupping her breast. He removed his hand and went to unzip his pants. She thought to herself that she had not been with him in eight months and now was the most opportune time. Her only problem was that she did not understand men and only thought of herself. She did not realize that sometimes men want to dispense with the formalities and just get down to business.  
  
"Ok honey, but not here, let's go upstairs." She said.  
  
"No, Sherry." He whispered, "Right here. Right now." Sean had gotten his pants unzipped and had let her wrists go to untie her dress, open it and expose her thin naked body clothed only in a pair of bikini underwear. He unbuttoned his shirt and removed her panties, but Sheridan started to protest again insisting on going upstairs.  
  
"No Sean, not on this furniture. Do you know how much I paid for this? Do you know where it came from? It will cost me a fortune to get this cleaned and the embarrassment. Bernard knows what we're doing in here and..." She continued on, but Sean tried to ignore her. After removing her panties he pushed his pants and underwear down to his ankles. Then he spread Sheridan's legs and entered her. He tried to concentrate on shutting her up with pleasure, but nothing worked and after a minute of effort and her complaining about the furniture while he was trying to make love, he felt himself about to release, so he pulled out quickly and collapsed on top of her.   
  
Sheridan, pushing Sean off of her jumped up in disgust. "Ugh. How could you do that Sean? We always use a condom and Look!" She pulled her dress off and held it out between her forefinger and thumb. "You have ruined my designer dress. I told you how much I paid for this and now look at it! How am I supposed to take this to the cleaners? AND MY COUCH! OH MY GOD, MY COUCH! What am I going to do?" Sheridan stood there anxiously not knowing what to do next.  
  
Sean stood and pulled his pants up, as he listened to Sheridan complain. Then he sat back down on the edge of the couch with his shirt still open and put both his hands on his head and rubbed his temples with his thumbs. Sheridan picked up her underwear, put them on and then reached for a throw blanket to cover herself.  
  
"I'm going to take a shower and change. I would appreciate it if you would get yourself off of my ruined Franco Deperone couch and clean yourself up. Now if you want to do this properly. I will be waiting upstairs in my bed after I shower." She walked toward the doorway and as she went out she put her head back in the door. "Oh, expect to receive a bill for my dress and the couch cleaning or replacement." She said and gently closed the door.  
  
"She must be kidding." Sean thought to himself as he buttoned his shirt. He wondered why he had let the liquor get the best of him as he searched for the phone and then dialed for a cab.  
  
Sean decided that he would go home and get some restful sleep, because he needed that more than he needed to spend the night with Sheridan in the strict missionary position and hear her complain if he made a mess on her satin sheets. Now through his drunken stupor he remembered why he hadn't touched her in so long and that was because she was always correcting him and trying to show him the proper way to make love. There was never any spontaneity in their love making just the same old thing. She'd take her designer clothes off and put them away before she'd put on a designer negligée that he had to be careful not to tear or stain. And they always had to be in the bed. His suggesting anywhere else would have been a mortal sin on his part as far as Sheridan was concerned. She never initiated their lovemaking and he wondered if she even liked sex at all. Once he tried to have her in the front seat of the mustang and she belted him causing a scar across his left cheek. He was tired of it and as he heard the cab pull up and blow he walked toward the door where Bernard was standing, holding it open for him. As he brushed past Bernard he made a snide remark. "It's good you didn't watch Bernard because it wasn't much of a show. Tell Sheridan I'll come by tomorrow to get my keys."  
  
Sean walked out of Sheridan's house toward the cab and Bernard closed the door loudly behind him.  
  
  



	15. RUDE AWAKENINGS

Part 15: RUDE AWAKENINGS  
  
Once he arrived back at his parents home at around 12:30am, Sean found that everyone had retired for the evening. He went into his grandfather's room after hearing the television was still on. Grandpa was sitting up in his chair snoring loudly in his sleep with the remote control still in his hand. Sean turned off the television and woke his grandpa so that he could help him get into bed. Grandpa woke up disoriented and agitated, calling his grandmother.  
  
"No, grammy, No I don't want to go to bed."  
  
"Grandpa, it's me, Sean." He said while jiggling his grandfather to wake him.  
  
"Grandpa, don't make grammy put me to bed I want to hear more about my colored people!"  
  
"Grandpa, Grandpa, Wake up!" Sean, thinking that their earlier conversation had him dreaming about 'colored' people, called out louder as he continued to shake grandpa.  
  
Startled by the vigorous shaking, grandpa woke up. "Sean! Boy! What you wake me up for?" He said wiping his eyes to focus more on Sean.  
  
"I wanted to help you get into your bed."  
  
"I don't need no help. Smells like you need me to help you! I may be old, but I can still get myself in bed if I want to! You don't have no business waking me up!"  
  
"Come on old man stop giving me so much lip and get into bed. You don't have no business sleeping in that chair like that anyway." Sean helped grandpa William up out of the chair and over to his bed.  
  
Grandpa cooperated, but mumbled as he climbed into bed. When Sean had finished he kissed his grandfather, said goodnight and left the room. Before he got out of range he could hear grandpa shout, "Don't come back in here to help me with that stinking liquor on your breath! I can do it myself next time!"  
  
Shaking his head at his grandfather's comments, Sean made his way to the kitchen and fixed himself a pot of coffee. Once it was finished, he sat down on the sofa in the living room and turned on the jazz radio station. He had been somewhat disoriented from all the alcohol he had consumed and now remembered treating Sheridan so insolently and he knew he would have to apologize to her the next day when he went to get his car. As he thought about what he would say to her, he slipped into a restful slumber until morning.  
  
When morning came, grandpa woke Sean up while he slept on the living room sofa.  
  
"WAKE UP, BOY! WAKE UP!" Grandpa was hitting Sean in the leg with his cane and yelling.  
  
"Gramps, stop it." Sean groaned trying not to move his head from the torturous headache that pained him.  
  
"You got a hangover, boy. Get up and drink some of this coffee. Good thing your dad ain't gonna be here to see you like this." Grandpa began hobbling back into the kitchen on his cane as he continued to chastise Sean.  
  
"What do you mean he's not going to be here?" Sean asked after he'd gotten up from the chair and slowly followed his grandfather into the kitchen.  
  
"He and your mother went on a trip to Europe. I think they started in Switzerland. He's been promising her this trip for years and she said that now was the time. It amazes me how that woman can just snap her fingers and your father just falls into place. He's just as crazy over that woman as my grandfather was over his wife."  
  
"Switzerland!? Europe!? Well how long is he supposed to be gone" Sean stopped in the middle of the kitchen stunned at what grandpa had just said. "He has to be at Crealite Monday morning to meet with the new accounting firm that's suppose to overhaul our business operations. He has to be there!"  
  
"Don't look like he has to be anywhere except In Europe somewhere galavanting around with that woman of his. Guess you'll have to handle it yourself, boy. Ain't you running things now? You have to stop leaning on your father for everything. You've got to start taking over like your dad showed you. He made you President so that he could have more time off and he knew you could handle it."  
  
"I know grandpa. It's just that it's been a rough road with the company lately and I've been so worried about everything. I wanted dad there to make sure everything is in place and I was going to brief him this weekend on all the particulars." Sean sat down at the kitchen table, dumbfounded with what his father's excursion meant for him. Now he would actually have to meet with whomever Powers & Lambert sent to do the initial briefing and from everything he knew and heard about Elana, he could sense that she would be exceptionally thorough and attend the briefing herself. He could not fathom the possibility of seeing her again after all this time, so he put his head down on the table between his folded arms.  
  
"What in the hell is wrong with you, boy? You act like your mama's about to send you off to school for the first time or something. Get your head up off that table and drink some of this good coffee I brewed. Don't know why you drank so much liquor last night. If you got a good woman with you, you don't need to enhance it with so much liquor. Where did you and that Winthrop woman go?"  
  
Lifting his head up to taste some of grandpa's wonderfully brewed coffee; Sean spoke "We went to the French restaurant uptown. I had a little too much to drink and I took a cab home. Sheridan still has my keys." Sean sat slumped across the table with his head propped to the side and held up by his hand, while holding the coffee mug in his other hand.  
  
"Got a cab home? Why didn't you stay with her, she is your woman ain't she? Didn't you tell me some time ago that you were getting hitched to her?"  
  
"That was last night gramps, and I came home because I was acting obnoxious and thought it was best for me to be here."  
  
"Humph, a young virile man like yourself couldn't get any huh? Why when I was your age, I was married with 3 children. When I was younger, before I got married I never had a problem getting invitations..."  
  
Sean not really wanting to hear about his grandfather's sexual escapades interrupted, "Ok Grandpa. Ok. I get your point."  
  
Grandpa was worried for his grandson. He knew that after his dating Sheridan Winthrop for so long that he did not love her and again it pained him as it had the night before. "Were you drinking to drown her out, son?" He asked more solemnly.  
  
Sean looked directly at his grandfather and wondered how he had such insight into his relationship. "Yea grandpa. She was just talking a bit too much and she brought up some things that got me a little out of sorts, so I was hoping that I could relieve myself of my thoughts with the vodka, which I shouldn't have done. Anyway, I was so obsessed with not thinking about it that I did some terrible things and I just wanted to get away from her."  
  
"What was on your mind so heavy, son?"  
  
Wanting to talk to someone about his feelings Sean wondered if he could share it with grandpa William. He had always been able to go to him as a little boy when he felt he couldn't go to his father, so he decided to take a chance in this instance. "If I tell you gramps, will you promise not to get upset. I don't want to run your blood pressure up any higher than it is."  
  
Grandpa reached over and put his hand on Sean's arm. "Go ahead son, you can tell me. I'm too old to worry about things that don't really affect me right off, now, so I'll listen to you and help if I can."  
  
"Well it's about Elana..." Sean looked at his grandfather to notice any sudden reactions, but there were none, so he continued. "Remember we were talking about her last night?" Grandpa shook his head and sipped his coffee. "Well, her company is the one that's supposed to come and deal with Crealite. And last night Sheridan mentioned that she wanted to do some business with Elana. You know I haven't seen her in years and I was hoping I wouldn't have to, but it seems that everywhere I turn recently her presence is there and I can't shake it. Now with dad out of town I'm going to have to see her again and I don't know if I can handle it." Sean paused hoping that he had not caused any irreparable damage to Grandpa William's health and again noticed that the man had not changed his expression.  
  
Grandpa took his hand away from Sean's arm and straightening up his back, then said, "Sean, you still in love with this Powers woman?"  
  
"No, no. Of course not grandpa!" He said trying to convince himself. "It's just that when she left, I loved her very much, too much and it took me a long time to get over it, so I don't want those old feelings to creep up again. I don't want to relive that much pain again. And I think that if I see her then it will all come back and I'll go crazy or something. Do you understand what I'm saying gramps. I know she's black and you can't relate to me loving a black woman, but I really did love her too deeply and it was just so devastating to me."  
  
"Now, first of all. I can relate to love. I was in love myself and I still do love your grandma, God rest her soul. And besides colored women are just like any other woman, so I know what you mean, son. I also, have to tell you that I think your lying to yourself or maybe just to me because I can tell that if this woman affects you after so many years of being away from her, then, you never really got over her, you just buried your feelings."  
  
"If that's true grandpa then I did it for the family. I knew that it was probably easier to let her go and that you and dad would be happy to see Elana and me not together anymore. I know you had so many worries about it."  
  
"Well, I can't speak for your father, but I was only worried about you. A white man taking up with a colored woman makes things hard for him. Sometimes people won't give him the respect he deserves and they'll try to take advantage of what they perceive as a weakness on his part. At least that's how it was when I was coming up."  
  
"Well marrying interracially when you came up grandpa was illegal, so I can see why you felt that way."  
  
"It wasn't illegal here in Connecticut, just in the southern states, but even if you did marry a colored woman in a legal state things would sometimes be hard for you especially if you were poor. "  
  
"It seems that status is always so important even when it comes to love. How did my great, great grandfather make out after he and your grandmother were married seeing as she was poor and all."  
  
Grandpa couldn't help but feel that his grandson's situation somehow reflected that of his own grandfather, so he wanted to be careful not to reveal too much if he could help it. "They went to Ohio to get married and then came to live in Lexington. At first things weren't so bad until my grandma got pregnant with my father and uncle. Just about everyone in town, knew whom she was pregnant by even though they didn't know that they were married. The men attacked her chastity and threatened to be the father to her next child and the women and children would mock grandma about the mule children she was gonna have. Even though she tried to stay strong, eventually it got to her and one day she came home crying. After that she had to explain to grandfather what had been going on."  
  
"Now why didn't they let everybody know that they were married. That had to be better than them thinking she was loose and what did you say about mule children? I thought that was a reference to interracial children back then." Sean was confused and couldn't understand what his grandfather was saying. He eventually shook it off as grandpa getting confused about details that happened so long ago.  
  
Grandpa realized his mistake and clammed up turning beat red in the face. "It had a lot of meanings, boy! In this case it just meant mixing the classes, that's all! And I don't know why they didn't tell anybody they were married! They must have had their reasons! Now, listen to me and stop asking so many questions. As I was saying, after the babies were born, grandpa, fearing trouble would start and that his boys would have a hard life in the south, went scoping out land here in Connecticut for his family. When he found it they moved here right away."  
  
"Was the family in any danger after that? Did they get any trouble once they were here?"  
  
"No, everything worked out fine. The only problem they had after that was grandfather keeping the men away from my grandma."  
  
"What do you mean? Was your grandmother playing around on your grandfather."  
  
"OH, no. Heavens no. They loved each other something awful. That was never a problem. You couldn't keep them away from each other even in their old age. It was just that grandma was very beautiful and many of the northern men in the territory were taken with her, so they tried all kinds of things to try and get her to consider leaving grandpa."  
  
"Wow. She must have been something else. Did she look like Sheridan? Did you ever have a picture of her or your grandfather? I would love to see it." Sean asked, now growing more curious about his great, great grandmother. He wanted to see what she looked like and how she could cause such a commotion in those times. He could not help but to compare her beauty to Sheridan who was a dead ringer for Claudia Shiffer, but he had learned that her personality was nothing like Sheridan's.  
  
Grandpa William was stunned by Sean's questioned "NO!!! No, I never had any pictures of them, not a one. And hell no, she didn't look nothing like that Winthrop woman." He lied about the photograph, knowing that there was one picture that he had always cherished which was of his grandparents with their twin boys on their land in Connecticut back in 1887.  
  
"That's too bad, because you always talk about how much I look like him and I would like to have seen it for myself. I also wouldn't mind seeing my great, great grandmother. What did she look like."  
  
"I told you she was very pretty!" Grandpa tried to sound definite, but Sean wasn't satisfied.  
  
"Come on grandpa I mean what were her features like. Who reminds you of her today."  
  
"Well I can't say that I've seen anyone who I think looks like her, but she had long curly light brown hair that had auburn highlights in it, especially around the front. She had large beautiful brown eyes a round face and smooth dar...I mean just really smooth skin. She had full hips and a small waistline and she stood around 5'6" or so. She had a very gentle manner about her even though she would never let anybody get over on her or her husband. She loved numbers and took care of all the money and finances, which played a big part in the fortune my grandfather amassed."  
  
"Man, grandpa, if I didn't know any better I would say that you were describing Elana Powers, except for a few things, but we both know that could never have happened back then, huh?" Sean laughed hysterically as he said this and swatted his grandfather on the arm.  
  
"Humph." Grandpa didn't see the humor and couldn't help but notice the similarities himself, remembering what things Sean had told him about Elana. After that statement grandpa thought it was a good time to change the subject. "Now back to this Powers woman. Son, don't worry about meeting her Monday. If you don't have any feelings for her as you've said, then you're just having apprehension about what you'll say. Take it easy and treat her like an old friend. You can't go falling apart. She's just another woman and you've had plenty of dealings with them. Let her come in and do her job and you do yours. It can't be more complicated than that."  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Sean said with a sigh, finishing up the last drop of coffee in his cup.  
  
"Now on the other hand if you think you still have feelings for her and her for you, then you're not going to fare too well. Things can get complicated and there's too much riding on you keeping yourself together. Your judgement will be clouded with trying to get back with her, if she's not married of course. Don't complicate matters by trying to relive something that happened years ago. It's not worth it, son." Grandpa winced as he said this hoping that Sean would take his advice, but knowing that if his grandson truly loved Ms. Powers as much as he suspected and she revealed the same feelings for him, then nothing would keep Sean from her. He was a grown man now and having the Logan genes he wouldn't sit idly by and let the woman he loved get away from him a second time, no matter what the consequences may be and no matter how much he tried to fight his feelings for his family's sake.  
  
"Yeah, I guess, you're right Grandpa." Sean relished in the advice he'd gotten and decided that he would do just as his grandfather suggested. Treat Elana like an old friend. He definitely could do that without breaking down because if anything they had together it had always been a wonderful friendship. When she left she also took away that friendship which Sean had never been able to replace. Suddenly, he felt a burst of energy and excitement. "Hey, grandpa, It's Saturday. How would you like to spend a day on the town with me? We can go to breakfast. Then we can go to the park and feed the pigeons. Maybe we can visit some of your old friends or go to the pool hall. When was the last time you got out of this house?"  
  
"It's been a while, son. I'd like that. I just have to wait for the nurse to come and help me get dressed and give me my medication."  
  
"Why don't I help you get a bath and get dressed so that when she gets here all you have to do is get your medication? Then we can head out."  
  
"Sounds good, son!" Grandpa was excited and Sean smiled at the thought of getting grandpa out and spending more time with him. He helped his grandfather up and they made their way to Grandpa William's room. Sean ran the bath water and helped him bathe and get dressed in nice casual attire. When the nurse arrived, Sean went to shower, shave and change his clothes. After the nurse left Sean and grandpa headed out in a cab to Sheridan's house so that he could pick up his car. On the way to her house Sean instructed the cabby to stop at a flower stand and he picked up a bouquet of white roses.   
  
When Sean got back in the car grandpa was laughing with the cabby over a conversation they were having and once they reached Sheridan's house, Sean and grandpa got out. Sean paid and tipped the driver and they said their good-byes. As they walked up to the door, grandpa kept looking around. He had never been here before and Sean just figured he was curious.  
  
"How old is this woman Sean? Shouldn't she have her own place by now? I'll bet her parents want to hurry up and get her married so that she can get out on her own."  
  
Holding onto grandpa's elbow as they reached the top of the stairs, Sean rang the bell and laughed at his grandfather's comments." This is Sheridan's place. She lives here by herself. She's just a little extravagant."  
  
Grandpa continued to look around at the structure and at the grounds as they waited. Then Bernard appeared at the door.  
  
"Hello Mr. Logan and sir. May I help you?"  
  
"I came to get my car keys. Is Sheridan here? I need to speak with her for a moment."  
  
"Why certainly. Won't you come in, please." Bernard opened the door and let Sean and grandpa in.  
  
Sean introduced the two men once Bernard closed the door behind them. "This is my grandfather William Logan. Grandpa this is Bernard, Sheridan's butler."   
  
The two men shook hands and exchanged greetings; then Bernard led them into the living room to be seated and wait for Sheridan. Grandpa was still scanning his surroundings.  
  
"Looks like you should have brought more than those flowers, boy." He said as he spit some of his chewing tobacco into one of Sheridan's antique brass trashcans that sat beside his chair.  
  
"Yeah, maybe I should have gotten her some candy or a stuffed bear to go with these." Sean thought as he looked over the flowers.  
  
"More like diamonds or pearls I'd say." Grandpa snorted as he kicked his feet up on Sheridan's $1000 gold embroidered ottoman.  
  
Soon Sheridan pranced in wearing a cream-colored pants suit and matching shoes. Her flaxen blonde hair flowed in large waves down her back and around her right shoulder. She winced seeing Grandpa William's feet on her ottoman, but held her composure. She headed straight for the old man hoping he would stand up and she could slyly remove the expensive showpiece. "Oh hello, hello. Mr. Logan. I'm so glad you came by to see me!"  
  
"I didn't come to see you missy, I just came here with the boy." Grandpa said trying to avoid her superficial hugs and kisses.  
  
Sheridan turned to Sean stared at him blankly and then sat in the chair across from grandpa. "Now how have you been doing lately? It's been so long since I've seen you. You're looking so well. What are you doing to keep yourself in shape?"  
  
Grandpa looks at Sean and then back at Sheridan. "Which one of those questions do you want me to answer first missy?"  
  
Sheridan laughed loudly, pretending to be amused, but realizing that grandpa wasn't much of a conversationalist. Sean, stood at the fireplace watching them and he knew that grandpa did not intend to spend too long chatting with Sheridan. Likewise all he wanted was to get his keys, apologize and then leave. "Sheridan I brought you these." He held out the white roses to her hoping that they would be a small appeasement for what had happened the night before. Sheridan stood up, walked toward Sean and took the flowers. She smelled them as she looked indifferently at Sean.  
  
"These are lovely Sean, I'll get Hilda to put them away for me. Could I see you for a moment alone please?" She walked past Sean and toward the door.  
  
"Certainly." Sean looked back at his grandfather and assured him that it wouldn't take long; then he turned and followed Sheridan out of the living room.  
  
Once they were a few feet out of hearing distance, standing in the foyer, Sheridan turned around. "Sean I don't think I have to tell you that I was very disappointed in you last night."  
  
"I know Sheridan, I was too drunk and I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I've just had a lot on my mind lately with the company and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You're a good person and you didn't deserve that."  
  
"You are right Sean, but what I was upset about was that you didn't say goodbye. I don't want your work to filter into our being cordial to each other. Is there anything else wrong besides your work?  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Oh I don't know, but for one we haven't been out regularly in over eight months and last night you really were not yourself. You seemed to be somewhat uninhibited and I know that's not you. It's just that we don't seem to click like we used to."  
  
"When did we ever really click, Sheridan?"  
  
Sheridan moved in closer to Sean and put her hand on his chest as she looked up at him through her dark blue eyes and began pouting. "How can you ask that? You know I love you Sean and I know you love me. This is just a rough road we're going over together. We know that you and I have an understanding, we can dispense with all of the unnecessary affection because we're both trying to make a name for ourselves. I'm not looking for a lot of attention, but I know that eventually we'll be married, have children and all of this will be behind us. I was just a little upset that you didn't say goodbye, and I was expecting a little more than just roses, today, but I guess they'll will have to do for now. I'm sure you're planning on surprising me with a bigger gift soon."  
  
"Sheridan, maybe I like being a little uninhibited sometimes, you know it wouldn't hurt and sometimes I do want a little more out of this relationship than just counting the steps on the ladder of success."  
  
Stepping back Sheridan spoke again, "Now Sean, we both know that we can't always have what we want and besides things are just fine as they are. You know I'm not one for letting loose your inhibitions. It shows a lack of character. And aside from that by the time we get married I will be able to introduce you to some of the most prestigious people in the country. I'm working on that now. You will be internationally successful. Our children will go to the finest schools and be exposed to so many important people..."  
  
As she continued to expound on the many economic and social advantages of their pending merger, Sean gave up, seeing that she had completely avoided what he'd just said and he knew then that there was no hope of any type of true love and passion in their relationship. He was a stepping stool for her and she was perfectly happy with the way things were, but he wasn't. "Ok, Sherry. I see what you mean." He took her arm and kissed her forehead. "Look I have to go. I can't keep grandpa waiting. I'll call you soon so that we can get together."  
  
"OK, great! I'll be waiting to hear from you. Now maybe we can get together for lunch next week. I hope to get an appointment with Elana Powers, so I'll be in New York. I'll call you when that happens."  
  
"Sure. That will be fine Sheridan." Sean stood there and looked at her for a few seconds, then turned around to go and get his grandfather. Bernard gave Sean his car key and escorted them out of the house. Once in the car grandpa had a few words to say.  
  
"Son you still got money from your trust fund?"  
  
"Yea of course. I really haven't had anything to spend it on. I bought the penthouse and I keep the car in top shape and then there's my business suits and a few memberships, and dinner ever so often with Sheridan. Other than that I really don't spend that much money. Actually I don't think I've touched the money in the trust fund. I'm doing so well in my investments that I thought I would save it for my children someday."  
  
"Well, if you're planning to marry that one back there" grandpa was pointing behind him referring to Sheridan, "then you'd better get a prenup."  
  
"Ah grandpa, Sheridan has enough money of her own. She doesn't need my pennies."  
  
"It's not a question of need, son, but one of greed. That girl is as greedy as they come and I can assure you that when you marry her she'll run your accounts dry. If you end up divorced, she'll definitely go after everything you have."  
  
"Grandpa listen to yourself. We're not even engaged yet and you're talking about our getting a divorce."  
  
They looked at each other and laughed, then continued their conversations as they spent the remainder of the day together.   
  



	16. SWEET REMEMBRANCE

Part 16: SWEET REMEMBRANCE  
  
1998  
Long Island, NY  
Elana Powers' Townhouse  
  
  
The phone rang early Sunday morning while Elana was soaking in a hot whirlpool bath.  
  
"Man, who is that?" She said as she cautiously got out of the tub to avoid slipping and put on her heavy white terrycloth robe and reached for the cell phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey girl, it's me. What you doin'?"  
  
"Gail, girl I was in the tub soaking. Trying to relax. Why in the world are you calling me so early?"  
  
"I just wanted to see what you were doing today?" Gail asked.  
  
"Well, I need to take my morning run and I still have a few more details to go over on the Crealite account. After that I just intend to relax, because I'm gonna have to get myself together for this meeting tomorrow morning."  
  
"You still having apprehension over that? Don't let it bother you so much. That was a long time ago and I'm sure that Philip Logan isn't even giving it a second thought. You just go in there and do what you do best. Knock their socks off with your expertise and after you finish with them white boys, I'll bet Phillip will wish that he would have stayed out of his son's business."  
  
Sitting down on her bathroom counter top while she dried her hair with a towel Elana continues, "Yea, I guess I shouldn't be making such a big deal about this. I think what I'm most apprehensive about is running into Sean. I don't know how I'll react if I see him. I was thinking about what I would say and I'm probably just gonna be a nervous wreck."  
  
"You! A nervous wreck? Girl the last time I saw you nervous was when you didn't think you'd graduate with honors in graduate school. If anything, you know how to keep your cool. And as to Sean, it's not a matter of if you see him, but when. He is the President of the company remember. Just be yourself and maybe he'll fall hopelessly back in love with you."  
  
"Girl, I'm not looking for that. I'm sure he's married or something by now. Knowing how much his father wanted him to carry on that dog gone Logan heritage or legacy or whatever he called it."  
  
"You know what? I meant to tell you that after you mentioned this meeting to me, I asked my husband if he knew if Sean Logan is married. He does consulting work for some of the big companies sometimes including Crealite. Anyway, he told me that Sean isn't married, but he's been dating Sheridan Winthrop for about two years. I know her from many of the big fashion shows they put on in New York. She's a very successful image consultant from Connecticut. In fact I think she's looking into doing business in the black community now and I was thinking about submitting some of my international business suit designs to her. If she likes them it sure would boost my fashion designing business."  
  
"Sheridan Winthrop, huh? Yeah I know her pretty well. We went to high school together and our fathers are old fraternity brothers. She was always after Sean even when he was in college, so now I see that she finally got him. I knew that once I was out of the picture Sean would eventually give in to her. But as far as your doing business with her I don't know about that. She always seemed to come off kind of upiddy and borderline prejudice. Even though I don't think she was too racially prejudice just more socially prejudice, so I don't know how that will work out. But in any event I guess I can rest easy, because if he's with her then I'm sure she won't be letting him out of her sight until he does marry her. And I really don't need to be getting into no cat fight over a man."  
  
"Girl you need to get into SOMETHING because you been flying solo for a long time now. You need to find yourself somebody and get your head out of those books and reports and whatever else you keep yourself busy doing. A man ain't so bad to have around sometimes."  
  
"Yeah, I've been thinking about that lately and I've been contemplating on calling a dating service or something and see who they can set me up with. I'm ready to let my hair down a little and try a new relationship. It's been a few years since Henry and I am starting to miss a man's company."  
  
"A dating service? What you want to go that route for? Girl looking like you look, you don't need no dating service, just step outside the door."  
  
"I don't want to deal with just anybody and those services screen the people so you can specify what you want."  
  
"That sounds like you. A professionally ordered man. Girl, what you NEED to do is to go into that Crealite office Monday morning and reclaim your man because you know he's the only one you ever really wanted and probably the only one you'll ever settle for. If you had slept with him like I told you to in college, we wouldn't be talking about this now."  
  
"Now you know I'm not into promiscuous sex. I'm not going to be laying up with a man just to keep him."  
  
"I know that. God knows you've proven THAT all these years. I just meant that if you wanted to get back at his daddy, you should have put the whammy on Sean and snagged him anyway. Especially since he was begging you for so long. You know his daddy wouldn't have disowned his own son."  
  
"I don't know about that, but it doesn't matter now anyway because he's with Sheridan and like I said I ain't gonna be trying to take no other woman's man no matter how much I don't like her."  
  
"I wouldn't worry about that Sheridan woman because if he was so in love with her, then he would have married her by now so that ain't no thang. And you know I got your back. I can tie her up and kidnap her for a while or something, while you go and seduce Sean Logan."  
  
The two women laughed at Gail's antics then Elana explained, "How am I suppose to compete with a blonde, blue-eyed woman for a white man. You know it's already a loosing battle for a black sistah, if she has to compete with one for a black man, let alone a white one."  
  
"Well, I think you're underestimating yourself. A man is a man and if he's attracted to a woman and she gives him the right signals he will go for it. Especially Sean Logan because you already know that he ain't got no problem with dark meat."  
  
"Girl you crazy. Let me get off this phone so that I can get dressed before Jon gets here so we can go running."  
  
"Why you runnin' with him?" Gail asked.  
  
"He said he was worried about me running by myself, so he volunteered to come with me on Sunday mornings. If he didn't have a girl with him the night before that is."  
  
"Well be careful of him because he's a player and you know it. I don't want you to get hurt over him even though he is one fine brother."  
  
"Yeah, I know all about Jon, but we're just friends. He knows I don't want any more than that with him. He's a good guy to hang out with, but just not the type to be dating seriously. He has a list of women he's trying to go through I guess." Looking at the clock on her bedroom nightstand Elana knew she had to get ready. Ok let me go. I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Call me tomorrow night and let me know how the meeting went."  
  
"Ok."  
  
Elana hung up the phone and went to let out her bath water. As she went into her adjoining bedroom to put on a pair of spandex pants and exercise shirt she laughed to herself about the conversation she and her girlfriend had over the phone. Now knowing that Sean was not married, she wondered why he stayed single even though he was dating the woman who had been voted 'Most Beautiful' in high school. Elana remembered going to her house a few times with her father when he was supporting Sheridan's father for the governor's office. She also recalled that Sheridan was always leaving Sean messages or calling while the two of them were on the phone. At school she consistently started rumors that she and Sean were dating, but no one believed her because they all saw how much time he and Elana spent together. Even though no one wanted to admit it, they all knew that Sean was trying get up the nerve to convince Elana to go out with him for years. After hampering over the old days for a few minutes, Elana came back to reality.  
  
She knew that with a woman like Sheridan at his side, Sean would not give her the time of day now and besides she had made a promise to his father to not complicate his son's life. She felt as much as Phillip did that if she and Sean would marry that it would cause a lot of problems for him and he may have missed many opportunities that he would receive with a white wife by his side. She continued to try and convince herself that what she did was right even though it had been one of the most painful things she had ever done in her life. She remembered that loving Sean was so pleasant and natural. They spent almost all of their spare time with each other and they encouraged each other to progress and succeed at whatever they pursued. And even though they never made love, she loved him for respecting her desire for abstinence. Sean never tried to push her, even though he would put up a good argument.  
  
The most memorable occasion was the summer after Sean's first year in graduate school. He had left her with his intentions to ask her to marry him on the day he graduated at the end of the following school year, and that was the last time she saw him...  
____________  
  
Summer, 1989  
Georgia  
  
  
Sean had flown to Georgia to spend a week with her while she did a part-time internship at a local CPA firm. It was the summer after her senior year and she had her own apartment. The Friday before he was to leave, they spent the whole day and night together. They wore matching outfits; faded jeans and white shirts. Sean had on a simple T-shirt and she wore a tank top covered by a thin cotton shirt that she buttoned half way up and tucked into her jeans. In the morning they had breakfast, then spent hours at the book store, reading and discussing new business techniques and drinking coffee and feeding each other ice cream at the book store cafe. In the afternoon they walked around the mall, holding hands and not letting go other than to examine an item they contemplated buying, to try on clothes or to pay for something. In the evening they went to dinner, hit a dance club and then watched a movie. Afterwards Sean was driving Elana back to her apartment and they were silent knowing that he had to go back to Connecticut the next morning and that he would start working full time at Crealite until he would have to go back to school to complete his MBA program. Elana was scheduled to start graduate school at Harvard in the fall. So they anticipated being together for a year in Boston, but they still languished over the few months they would have to be apart during the summer.  
  
As they drove into the parking lot of her apartment complex, Sean admired Elana sitting next to him. Neither of them knew what to say because they knew that this night was the end of a week that seemed almost unreal to them. It had been perfect and Sean wasn't ready for it to end. He reached over and softly rubbed her cheek with the back of his hand. "Can I come in for a while? I don't want our time together to end yet." He asked as he looked at her through his seductive eyes.  
  
Looking over at him, Elana knew that his stare was sincere and emotional. She was hesitant, but also didn't want their time together to end. "Isn't your plane leaving at 5:30am. You don't want to miss another one." She said halfheartedly as she turned to look out of the front window. She wanted him to miss that flight and any others. She wanted him to stay there with her, but she knew that was impossible at this point.  
  
"Well, I already missed my plane today. I know that my father is probably mad as hell with me already. He doesn't know where I am. I was supposed to be at Crealite today, but I just had to have one more day with you. Tomorrow it doesn't matter what time I get in. There's a flight going out every three hours." He leaned closer to Elana and put his head on the side of hers. "Please let me stay with you a little longer?" He said softly.  
  
"Ok." She agreed, knowing that Sean wanted to share some intimacy with her. They had been secretly dating for four years now and she didn't want to deny him that or herself. She always loved his touch and on many occasions had cursed herself for telling Sean that she was trying to save herself for marriage because he was always most compliant and would stop before they went too far. She was especially amazed at his self-control and admired him even more for it. What she didn't know was that Sean kept his self-control because he intended to be the one she married as soon as he finished his last year of graduate school. He also loved the romanticism of it and he knew she was worth waiting for even though it always took every ounce of strength he had to stop himself. Sean got out of the car and went around to open Elana's door and escort her to the entrance of her one bedroom apartment. He took the keys from her and unlocked the door.  
  
When they were inside Elana went to the living room with Sean following and cut on the TV. She retrieved the remote control and handed it to Sean. "You sit in here while I go and make us something to drink." Before she left the living room, Elana took off the thin cotton button down shirt that covered her tank top and threw it across a chair. As she walked toward the kitchen, Sean watched her perfectly heart shaped derriere sway unintentionally in her fitted jeans. The tank top she wore revealed that she was not wearing anything underneath and the pair of block heeled sandals she sported showed off her soft manicured feet. Sean felt a surge of desire run through his body and he knew he wanted to do something about it. While she busied herself in the kitchen and talked to him as she washed out a pitcher in the sink, Sean searched her cassettes to put on some soft music. After finding a Sade tape, he turned the television off and put the tape in. As he waited for the music to start he slowly walked into the kitchen and stood against the doorway watching her.  
  
"Sean, why did you cut off the TV?" She yelled over the running water, thinking he was still in the living room. After a few seconds she heard the Sade tape begin to play (Kiss of Life). A soft smile formed on her face because she knew that he was trying to establish a mood and she began to lightly sway to the music.  
  
Sean now moved in closer to her and when he was right behind her he moved her thick, wavy brown hair out of the way so that he could rest his head on her shoulder. He then wrapped his hands around her small waist and swayed with her to the music as she attempted to fill the pot with water to boil for the tea. While they swayed together Sean began to mock the words Sade sang, in Elana's ear "When I was lead to you, I knew you were the one for me. I swear the whole world could feel my heart beat...You wrap me up in the color of love." They laughed quietly together at his singing, and as the song and their swaying continued, Sean began to softly kiss the side of Elana's neck while he messaged her flat belly. He slowly pulled the shirt out of her jeans and glided his hands up to and across her bare breasts until he settled on one and softly squeezed it in his palm. Still holding the pot in one hand, Elana placed her other hand over his larger one that rested on her stomach and closed her eyes at his touch as she leaned slightly back allowing him full range of her neck. After a few moments, Elana could feel Sean react to the mood they had set for each other and he stopped kissing her and moved back slightly to take her free hand into his. "What about the tea?" She asked trying to recover.  
  
"Put the pot down, lollipop."  
  
Elana obediently dropped the pot in the sink and allowed Sean to lead her out of the kitchen. As he took the lead, with him gently holding her hand they moved past the living room and through her bedroom door. When they made their way in, Elana knew that this could not be good for her resolve. She thought that maybe she had already gone too far by allowing him to start explore her bare breasts a few months earlier. "Sean, we've never been in a bedroom together before. Are you sure you can handle this?"  
  
"I'm hoping that your love is stronger than your pride tonight and that you can't handle it this time." Sean said as he pulled her closer to him and began dancing again to Sade's song 'Stronger Than Pride'. He placed his hand on the back of her hips and slowly massaged and pulled her into his groin as he placed long soft wet kisses on her full lips, shifting his hid in every angle to taste every bit of her honey laden mouth. Elana wrung her fingers through the back of his hair and they both sighed with sounds of pleasure at being in each other's arms. Then Sean grabbed hold of the bottom of Elana's tank top and before she knew it, he had rid her of it and threw it to the floor. Despite her own promise to herself to try and save herself for marriage, she couldn't fight the feeling of wanting his strong chest to press against her soft silken breasts, so she returned the gesture and pulled his T-shirt off rendering both of them exposed from waist up. Sean saw this as an opportunity that he had better take before she changed her mind, so with unwavering passion welling up inside him, screaming to be satiated, he wrapped his arms around her waist and effortless lifted her up as he moved toward the bed. He then laid her down and positioned himself between her legs. Devouring her lips and mouth, Sean squeezed her breast in his hand and then moved his mouth lower to partake of it with all the feverishness that he had pinned up for so many years. Elana was hypnotized and beyond consciousness, except for the soft pleasure that the man she loved was bringing to her and thoughts of him being inside of her. All of Sean's self-control had retreated as he moved to Elana's side and swiftly unbuttoned her jeans then eased his hand between her legs. He softly rubbed her hair that was strewn out over the bed underneath her, with his other hand while they looked into each other's eyes. Then he glided his fingers into her moist flesh and slow danced inside of her, causing Elana to groan with desire. Her involuntary expressions continued as Sean showered her neck and shoulders with his soft wet kisses and moaned almost inaudibly against her chestnut brown skin, "Ohhh God, Elana, you're so beautiful. I love you." After a few minutes of his teasing fingers he removed his hand to begin to slide her jeans down her hips.  
  
Elana was aware of how far they'd come and she didn't want to stop, but she had to know that Sean would protect her. "Do you have any protection, Sean?" She asked in a breathless whisper.  
  
Sean heard her question and answered reluctantly hoping he would have her jeans off and be inside her before she could come to her senses and put up an argument. "No, baby, don't worry about that. I'll make sure everything is alright. Don't worry. Trust me." He said trying to kiss away any of her anxiety.  
  
Elana had no doubt that Sean knew what to do, but considering the degree of passion at that moment and the anticipation of their joining their bodies for the first time, she doubted that he would be able to rip himself from her at the height of their pleasure and she knew that she wouldn't want him too. At that, Elana was jolted out of her euphoria and she put her hands on Sean's strong muscular shoulders and tried to move him over. "Sean we can't do this, not without a condom."  
  
Trying to hold on to her and convince her otherwise, Sean resisted, "Yes, we can honey, Yes we can. I promise I'll pull out. I promise. Just, let's take this chance to express our love for each other ..." Sean heard himself rambling and he knew that it was a lost cause.  
  
Still trying to weave her way out from under him, Elana protested, "No, Sean, you know we're not going to stop if we get started. And the possibility of my getting pregnant is out of the question." Finally, he loosened his hold on her and she slipped out from under him and sat up on the side of the bed. Resting both hands on either side of her at the edge of the bed, Elana held her head down and took a deep breath, then held her head back with her eyes closed. Sean was infuriated so he rolled over on his back and folded his hands behind his head and swore under his breath. Then he turned and placed his hand on the small of Elana's back and slowly massaged her as he spoke.  
  
"Baby, I can go run to the drug store on the corner and get some." He said hoping for the slightest possibility that she may be persuaded. "It'll only take me a minute. I promise." Sean was pleading with Elana, but he could see that his pleas were hopeless as she got up to locate her tank top then put it back on. Sean now moved to sit at the edge of the bed, "No, no honey you don't have to get dressed just give me a few minutes." He stood up to locate his T-shirt.  
  
Elana walked over to him and put her arms around his neck and looked into his disappointed clear blue eyes. "Sean, I love you so much. I just want us to be married before we share this together. Then we'll know it's forever."   
  
Sean understood how she felt, but his body could not help, but call out to be satisfied. It had been four years and he had never been able to live out the fantasies he had of making love to her. He had appeased himself with sentiments of his own undying love for her and the fact that she would be worth the wait no matter how long it took, but now he didn't know how much longer he could wait. He put his arms around her waist and held his forehead down so that it rested on hers. "This already is forever lollipop. You're gonna drive me insane here. I don't know what I'm going to do for the next year with us being on the same campus. Why can't I make love to you? You have to know how badly I want you."  
  
"I know Sean. I know because I feel the same way."  
  
Opening up his eyes he now rested his chin on the top of her head, "I'll tell you one thing Ms. Powers. Next year, on the very day that I graduate, I'm going to put a ring on your finger and I don't want any long engagements Elana. Are you agreeable to that?" He waited without looking at her. He could feel her heart beating rapidly and knew she was dying inside just as he was.  
  
"Yes, that's agreeable, I just hope that I at least get a more romantic proposal than that." She said half laughing.  
  
Sean now put his forefinger under her chin to lift her head up to see into his eyes. "You won't have to worry about that. I'll make sure that you get everything you deserve as the woman I'm crazy in love with and then some. Ok?"  
  
"Ok. I think I can trust you on that one."  
  
They smiled at each other and hugged for a few minutes.  
  
"Well, since you're not putting out tonight, " Sean said jokingly, " Can I just spend the night with you in my arms. You can put on as much clothing as you want if you don't trust me." He said with a wide grin.  
  
"I'd love that."  
  
So they laid down on Elana's bed together and Sean held her throughout the night as they slept until the next morning...  
  
____________  
  
1998  
Long Island, Elana Powers' Townhouse  
  
  
The doorbell rang incessantly and Elana was snapped out of her daydream as she ran to the door to answer it.  
  
"Ok, Ok. Here I come." When she opened the door she was greeted by an athletic Jon. He was in a loose fitting tank top and sports shorts that showed off his muscular legs. He had a towel around his neck and a sweat band around his curly black hair.  
  
"Hey there!" He said with a grin.  
  
"Hey yourself, Jon. Give me a sec. I need to pick up my towel and then we can go.  
  
Jon stepped into the door and closed it as Elana scurried to get her towel. "We don't have to go running. We can stay right her and get plenty of exercise."  
  
Walking back towards the door, Elana wasn't in the mood for Jon flirting with her this early in the morning. "Jon if you're gonna be flirting all morning you can just go run by yourself because I don't have time for it. I have too much on my mind."  
  
"Well how am I suppose to not flirt with you with those skin tight pants on and that little shirt you're wearing. Girl you know you can drive a man out of his mind if you want to."  
  
They went out the door of her town house and down the steps to begin their run. "Jon I wear this stuff every Sunday."  
  
"Yea and I feel the same way every Sunday. You can't blame a guy for trying can you." He laughed it off while Elana kept a serious face while running. Jon wanted to lighten the mood so he joked with her. "I'll tell you how you can get me to stop messing with you.  
  
"How's that?" She asked  
  
"You can marry me and then I won't have to flirt with you anymore. I'll give you those couple of kids you want and I'll stay out of your way. Ok?"  
  
They both laughed and Elana punched him in the arm.  
  
"Are you still worried about the Crealite account?"  
  
"Yea. I'm just a little apprehensive about it?" She didn't want to tell Jon the real reason she was nervous about the meeting.  
  
"Well if it'll make you feel any better. I don't have to go to Terrytown until next Monday. Coke called late Friday evening to inform me. So I can help you out during the first week."  
  
Relieved at what Jon was proposing, Elana felt a great weight lifted off her shoulders. "Oh you don't know how much I'd appreciate that Jon. Yes. I would love for you to help me out this week. Thank you..."  
  
They continued their run and now Elana felt a renewed sense of confidence knowing she would not have to face her past alone. She would take Jon and he would back her up if he saw any signs of discomfort. She was determined not to let Philip Logan intimidate her as he once had and she would show no emotion if she ran into Sean. She would remember that they once loved each other, but she also knew he never came looking for her, so she surmised that her decision had been in his best interest and in her own and she would not feel regret if she saw him again.  
  



	17. THE MEETING

Part 17: THE MEETING  
  
Greenwich CT  
Logan Home  
  
It was 3:00am Monday morning. Sean lay motionless in his childhood bed encompassed by impenetrable darkness and silence. His thoughts were filled with the last time he had seen Elana in June of 1989 and how he promised that they would be married within a year. Then he thought about the letter he received 3 months later shattering both his anticipation of her arrival in Boston to be with him during his final year and his hearts desire to have her as his wife until the end of their lives. His emotions ran wild that night and there was nothing he could do to rid his mind of her. He finally decided that the longer he stayed awake, the longer it would take for morning to come and the longer it would take for him to confront the only woman who he had considered the love of his life. She was the one he had tried to drown out of his mind for 9 years, but she was also the one who was about to reappear before him. He wondered if God had punished him for some reason and was now about to take whatever pride he had left. How would Elana react when she saw him? How would they work together with their pasts lingering around them like a heavily laden weight dangling over their heads? How could he be in her presence and not reveal that he never stopped loving her? These questions continued to plague him for hours until the sunlight began to peek through the curtains in his room. It was now 5:30am. He knew the time had come to get up and muster his strength to face whatever fate lay before him.  
  
  
Long Island, NY  
Elana's Townhouse  
  
It was 5:30am and Elana stood in her mirror checking her appearance. She had pinned her hair completely up, which was her signature hairstyle for business. She never wore it down at work thinking it would remind all of the men she worked around of how much of a woman she was and so she had always thought it best to help her maintain her serious demeanor. She dawned a black linen business suit that was tailored to fit her perfectly. Her skirt stopped right at her knees and her silk stockings matched her skin tone perfectly giving off a silky sheen. On her feet she had elected to wear her genuine black alligator pumps with which she carried a matching attaché case that she had bought on her vacation to South Africa. Her makeup was simple and consisted of a dark plum lip color and a thin line of liquid eyeliner only on the top of her eyelids. The dark contrast brought out the lighter shade of her big brown eyes. As she gazed at herself, she was pleased and found that it was time for her to leave so that she could catch the ferry to New York City. She wanted to get to Crealite early so that she would have enough time to settle herself before she met Philip Logan.  
  
She had never met him in person and the only contact they ever had with one another was nine years ago when he called her in Atlanta. His voice was so commanding and authoritative when he had called to demand that she sever her ties with his son or Sean would find himself without a family and penniless. Phillip had promised to strip his son of his inheritance, his future career and of his family. He had accused her of sleeping with his son and trying to get pregnant to entrap him into marriage, thus solidifying her stake in the family in order to reap the benefits of being a Logan. Devastated from his accusations, Elana angrily retorted to Phillip that she did not need to trap any man and that she would never see Sean again, then she slammed the phone down. She felt so angry at his accusing her of using feminine wiles to snag a man and secure her future, but she also feared for Sean. Even though Phillip had demeaned her character, she had no doubt that he would do just as he told her to keep a black woman from being associated with his name and legacy. That's when she vowed to have nothing to do with a family that denigrated her just because she was black, and her love for Sean would not let her be the cause of him loosing everything that he was associated with as a person and as a man. She was determined that she would not strip the man she loved of his manhood because he would eventually resent her for it, so she sat down and wrote the letter in tears that would end any hope of their being together.  
  
But now as she stood contemplating all of the things that had taken place since then, she knew that she would go into that company with pride. The tables had turned and   
Phillip Logan would indeed have her associated with his name. She would go into that office and stand before him as a reasonably independent and wealthy woman who had never depended on any man to help her gain success and who just happened to be black. She was coming to save his hide and she would lavish in every moment of it, not giving him any room to intimidate her. She smiled at that thought and then her mind switched to Sean again. If she encountered him she would not give in to emotion. She had become an expert at hiding her feelings because in the business world, any emotional displays on a woman's part were the death of her career and she had learned well to stifle hers in some of the most demanding situations. She would do no less when it came to Sean. Even though she had no idea what effect he would have on her.   
  
Now rejuvenated by her resolve and encouraged by her own confidence, Elana picked up her attaché case and headed out of her door. She skipped down the steps to her private parking spot and unlocked the car door to her 1998 special edition black and gold BMW roadster, threw her case over to the passenger side, and got in. She took a deep breath before starting the engine and then backed out and sped out of the parking lot.  
  
New York City  
  
The drive to the car ferry was easy since it was so early. By the time she arrived in New York City it was 6:45am. She drove into the parking lot of the building where Crealite housed its corporate offices.  
  
"Hello, there ma'am. A pretty lady like you is up kinda early for business ain't you?" Said the parking lot attendant.  
  
Elana sat in her car focused on her assignment. "I need you to take care of me. I don't want my car parked just anywhere. I know how you guys like to spin around these curves." She said with a twenty-dollar bill in her hand.  
  
Taking the $20 and opening the door for Elana, the parking lot attendant was happy to oblige. "Sure ma'am. What company are you visiting?"  
  
"Crealite." She said as she reached for her briefcase.  
  
"They don't open until 8:00am, but you can go to the main lobby or to the Starbucks across the street and wait."  
  
"That will be fine. Thank you."  
  
"Here's your ticket. You're keys will be left at the front desk in the lobby of the Crealite office. You can pay when you leave. I'll make sure you get one of the best parking spaces."  
  
Elana thanked the valet and turned to the elevators to go to the street level and across to the Starbucks Café.  
  
It was 7:15am when she got up to the Starbucks and as she sat at the table facing the window she drank her coffee and went over last minute details that she didn't want to forget. She watched her time because she was to meet Jon Lambert in the building lobby at 8:15am.  
  
Greenwich, CT  
Logan Home  
7:30am  
  
"Boy, you'd better get on outta here! Don't it take you at least an hour or so to get to New York. Then you got to fight that traffic. You'll never make your 8:30 meeting. That ain't how your daddy taught you to be running no company, on borrowed time! Get on outta here and stop sulking over that colored woman. She ain't gonna want you anyway looking like that. Look like you stayed up all night. Go straighten yourself up."  
  
"Grandpa, please be quiet. I'm trying to get out of here I just need to find my tie."  
  
"Tie? Tie? Boy you just stalling. Get outta here I said! Get on!" Grandpa nudged Sean out toward the foyer with his cane as he continued to complain about what a bad example Sean was going to set being late. Making his way out of the door Sean picked up his brief case and grabbed his new tie from the coat rack, then he jetted out of the door and down the steps to his car, avoiding grandpa's subtle cane attacks. He jumped in and sped off waving goodbye to his grandfather who stood in the doorway still fussing while holding his cane in the air.  
  
Sean opted to take the long way to New York dreading his past awaiting him at the office. He was wearing one of his new Armani suits that he had picked up during his Saturday outing with grandpa and he sported a blue shirt, which brought out the blue in his eyes with gold and diamond cufflinks for his French cuffs. He also wore his gold tie clip and shirt pin, which enhanced his professional style. His hair was still wet from his late shower and he had combed the small curls on the top of his head back off of his forehead.  
  
As he drove to New York he decided that he would try to treat Elana as a dear old friend from college, nothing more. He could handle that, he thought, so he meditated on his reaction until he reached the parking lot of the building where Crealite offices were maintained.  
  
New York City  
Crealite Downstairs Lobby.  
8:20am  
  
"Hey, Elana, here I am!" Jon said waving down a pacing Elana.  
  
"What took you so long. You know we can't be late for this first meeting. I can't believe you!"  
  
"Elana, calm down. I'm only five minutes late for our meeting . The Crealite appointment isn't until 8:30 remember. Are you ok?"  
  
"Yeah! Why wouldn't I be? I was just getting anxious when you weren't here."  
  
They started to walk towards the elevators to go the 30th floor where the Crealite executive offices were located.  
  
"Could you please take that succor out of your mouth? Your tongue is gonna be all red."  
  
"Oh yea." Elana removed the candy and threw it away before they entered the elevator.  
  
She did not hear a word Jon said as they ascended to the 30th floor. She just watched the numbers of the elevator flash by counting down in her own mind the closer they got to their destination.  
  
"Are you going to be alright? You don't look so good?"  
  
"What? What did you say Jon. I'm sorry."  
  
"Nothing." Jon said.   
  
As Elana stood in the corner of the elevator with her back leaning against the wall and her eyes glued to the elevator floor numbers, Jon was confused but put it off thinking that Elana was having some of her first time meeting-with-the-client jitters even though he had never seen her get this nervous.  
  
Finally the elevator stopped and the doors opened to the offices of Crealite. Jon allowed Elana to go out first and followed closely behind her. At the receptionists desk they asked for Phillip Logan and the receptionist, knowing that they were to meet with Sean instead, walked them to his office area and introduced them to Charlotte.  
  
"Hello, Ms. Powers and Mr. Lambert, could you please follow me. You can wait in Mr. Logan's office. He phoned to inform me to tell you that he will be running a few minutes late. Incidentally, you will be meeting with Sean Logan instead of Phillip Logan today."  
  
"Sean? Sean Logan?" Elana asked.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why are we not meeting with Phillip Logan?" She quickly asked. Elana was mortified when she heard this. How could this be? What had happened to Phillip Logan? She was prepared to meet with him. She had prepared herself for it all weekend, but she had not prepared to meet with Sean. Run into him? Yes, but not spend a whole day or any day with him. Her heart raced and she felt warm around her ears as she contemplated what this meant. She would have to spend a significant amount of time with him while he went over internal company organization and procedures with her.   
  
"He is out of the country, but his son is the President and handles most of the company business now, so he will be the person that you will have to deal with."  
  
Charlotte led Jon and Elana into Sean's office and motioned for them to sit in the chairs facing the large desk where they could look out onto the city from the large wall sized window.  
  
Elana sat ramrod straight in the chair with her legs crossed and tried to concentrate on subsiding the sickening feeling that was building up in her stomach. Jon started to talk about the offices and joked that all of their money was going into furnishings. Then he commented on the skimpy clothing of Sean's secretary and alluded to the fact that he was probably sleeping with her. Elana did not hear a word of it as she tried to concentrate on the Crealite reports she had studied. She kept rubbing her temples as thoughts rushed through her mind. What would she say? What would he say? Would he try to get her alone and ask what happened nine years ago? She tried to flood those thoughts out of her mind with all of the facts she had memorized about Crealite as she also contemplated how she would be able to face the only man she had ever given her heart to.  
  
New York City  
Crealite Parking Lot  
8:45am  
  
Sean slowly drove into the parking lot and stopped to be greeted by Scottie the parking attendant.  
  
"Hey, Mr. Logan. You're in a little early for a Monday. How is your morning going so far?"  
  
"I don't know yet, Scottie."  
  
Scottie was writing up a ticket to park Sean's car when he heard Sean say,  
  
"Scottie, I'm gonna park myself today. I'm not in a hurry. I'll see you later?"  
  
"Sure Mr. Logan. Have a nice day." Scottie stepped out of the way so that Sean could continue driving up the ramp. Once he reached his parking spot Sean noticed a black BMW roadster that had never been there before. He knew that this level was for the executives only, so he couldn't imagine who had parked there. When he got out of his car he glanced over and saw the license plate read 'POWERS' and Sean knew that Elana was in his office waiting for him. He slumped down onto the rear of his car and took a deep breath. 'So this is it' he thought to himself in less than 3 minutes or so he was going to come face to face with her and he didn't know if he could hold up. As he stood there he heard a car wheel around the corner. It was James in his black Ferrari. He parked directly next to Sean and jumped out of the car.  
  
"Hey, Sean . Why are you standing out here? I thought you would be meeting with Powers & Lambert at 8:30."  
  
"I am. I was just running late. I came from Connecticut. You know how that traffic can be."  
  
Edging him on James grabbed his briefcase and motioned for Sean to come on.  
  
"Look I came to help you out. I know your father usually does this, so I figured you could use some support."  
  
Sean got up off his car and picked up his pace to catch up with his eager Vice President.  
  
"What are you talking about. I don't need any help. I know how to run a business James and I don't like what you're implying. What are you really up to?"  
  
Putting his arm around Sean's shoulders, "Look buddy. You can always see straight through me. Actually, I just needed an excuse to meet this Elana Powers." James said as he pushed the elevator button. "I have been reading about her work for a while now and I'm fascinated with her. She is one intriguing woman and she has accomplished so much and to tell you the truth I saw her at an AICPA convention last year and I was mesmerized by her. I just wasn't sure of how to approach her at the time because I don't know if she's into white men, so now I'm hoping that the God's are in my favor and if I have my way, before this is all over with, she will be putty in my hands." The elevator opened and the two men went inside.  
  
Sean winced at James comment and then laughed internally, knowing that Elana wouldn't be putty in any man's hands. He had tried it before.  
  
"I intend to break through that invisible firewall everyone says she has up. She just hasn't met James Payton yet. You know what I mean." James nudged an unamused Sean again and laughed. Sean felt a tinge of jealousy, but at the same time he felt that Elana probably wouldn't have anything to do with him if she really knew the type of person James actually was. And he was sure that she would be able to see straight through him. As James continued to iterate the many tricks of the trade he would use to woo Elana, Sean watched the numbers of the elevators change as they moved toward the 30th floor, counting down in his own mind. Finally the elevator stopped and Sean knew it was time to put all of his apprehension behind him and be professional. Before the doors could open good. James was out, "Come on and let's get a look at this woman and after the meeting watch me work my charm. You might learn something, buddy." James didn't wait on Sean, but headed straight to the office. Sean stopped at Charlotte's desk as he watched James go inside and heard him introduce himself.  
  
"Do I have any messages Charlotte?"  
  
"No Mr. Logan, but your 8:30am appointment has been here since 8:25."  
  
Sean looked over Charlotte's appearance and felt embarrassed. He knew that if Elana had seen her she would think that he had hired trash to work for him. He decided that he would talk to Charlotte again about her attire after this meeting.  
  
Now he couldn't hold off seeing Elana any longer. His office door was directly in front of him and he could hear two male voices conversing. He walked toward the entryway, which seemed like a long corridor leading to an unknown place. Finally he reached the threshold and straightened himself then walked in confidently. "Hello everyone. I'm sorry I'm late." As he came in his eyes met directly with Elana's. He had almost forgotten those beautiful brown eyes, but now staring into them he remembered everything.  
  
James chimed in "Ah yes, this is my boss, Sean Logan." He said as he patted Sean on the back. "Sean this is Jon Lambert..." Jon walked closer and held out his hand and Sean's attention was diverted from Elana. They shook hands and James continued his introductions, leading Sean over to where Elana sat. "...and this is Elana Powers." Sean's gaze returned to Elana and for a moment all they saw was each other. Elana held out her hand and Sean took it.  
  
"Yes, Ms. Powers and I already know each other." He said quietly as he softly took her hand but did not shake it. He couldn't take his eyes off of her and for a moment he felt as if it were nine years ago when he had last seen her. Suddenly there was an awkward silence and Elana looked away and tried to pull her hand from Sean's grip. Feeling the pressure in his palm he released her hand and went to his desk.  
  
"Oh really, Sean. You never mentioned it. When did this come about?" James asked.  
  
"Yeah, Elana, you didn't tell me you already knew Sean Logan. When did you guys meet?" As the two men looked at their partners Sean and Elana captured each other's gaze. Elana sat motionless, not knowing how to respond and hoping Sean would not spill their business all out in this open forum to get back at her for leaving him.   
  
"It was a long time ago." Sean finally said as he broke his gaze with her and opened his briefcase. After that James and Jon took their seats. James sat diagonally to Sean with his back facing the window. Sean rummaged through the contents of his briefcase to extract his paperwork. Without looking up he began speaking. "Mr. Lambert and Ms. Powers I trust that you received the information that was federal expressed to you on Saturday.  
  
Jon replied, "Yes, Ms. Powers received the package. I did look over the initial specs we received last week. Ms. Powers will be handling this case. I have just come today to help with any preliminary work."  
  
After taking everything he could out of his case, Sean closed it and took his seat. "So. Ms. Powers what is your assessment of our little company." He asked bluntly as he sat back in his chair and wove his fingers together and placed them in his lap. Again he turned his attention to Elana, capturing her eyes with his own.  
  
Elana did not know what to think about Sean's entrance. He walked in with so much confidence. He had to know that she would be here and yet he seemed so unaffected by their seeing each other after nine years. She was determined to appear indifferent even though she did not know how long she could keep up the pretense under his blue stare. Whenever he looked at her, her knees would turn to Jell-O and now she was grateful that she was seated for fear that the effect had not changed.  
  
"First of all the company isn't very little at all. I think you would be classified as a pretty large conglomerate firm. Also, I took a long look at your prospectus and the portfolio, but I will need much more information to come up with a concise answer as to the overall assessment of Crealite. From what I did see it seems that you have a common weakness and some outside threats, but that will be determined by a detailed SWOT analysis."  
  
James jumped in. "Now what exactly is a SWOT analysis and how long will your analysis take Ms. Powers?"  
  
"SWOT is an acronym for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats and looking at the number of employees that you have on payroll. It may take six to eight months to complete the analysis." Elana answered.  
  
"I'm sure that will be time well spent. I for one look forward to working with your company. I am sure my boss here will give me every opportunity to familiarize you with our operations." James retorted, flashing his sexy smile at her.  
  
Sean was getting irritated with James antics and so he interrupted. "Mr. Lambert what will you need to do first?"  
  
Jon answered. "We will need to meet with your managers and first line supervisors as soon as possible to inform them that Ms. Powers will have to meet with each and every employee in every department to conduct an in-depth interview and asses their function within the business."  
  
James, speaking to Elana said, "Will this be a one-on-one interview or group."  
  
"Preferably one-on-one." Elana answered.  
  
"I certainly will be your first volunteer."  
  
Sean was somehow offended by James obvious flirting with Elana so he sought to get rid of him. "James, thank you for your input. Now that Mr. Lambert has told us that we need to meet with the managers right away, Could you please, go and get all of the managers and supervisors together to ask them what would be the best time for a staff meeting, then set it up for us, please. I'm sure Charlotte will be more than happy to give you some assistance with that."  
  
James, recognizing Sean's slight, but not wanting to appear unprofessional, decided to leave, but he would wait for another time to continue his pursuit of Elana Powers. He got up and shook both of their hands. "It was nice to meet you both. I'll see you in the staff meeting."  
  
After James left. The three continued to talk about what preliminaries would need to be implemented. Elana sat quietly, happy that Sean preferred to talk to Jon, but then Jon received a page. "Excuse me." He said. He looked at the pager number and recognized it as one of the accounts that they were working on. "This may be important. Is there a private phone I can use to return it?" He asked Sean.  
  
"Sure, just go outside and ask Charlotte to let you use one of the phones in an empty cubicle."  
  
Jon thanked Sean promising to be back soon and he made his way out the door, leaving Sean and Elana alone in the office.  
  
Initially Sean and Elana just sat in their seats saying nothing, then Sean got up from his chair and turned to lean against the side of the window with his arms crossed, looking out at nothing in particular. Neither of them spoke for a moment, not knowing exactly what to say, but knowing that they couldn't pretend that nothing ever existed between them. They couldn't pretend that the last they had heard from each other, things were cordial between them. Elana felt it best if she did not speak first because she knew she was the cause of their separation and she feared that if she said something then Sean would let into her with many false accusations. Finally Sean spoke.  
  
"So, how have you been?" he asked almost whispering while still looking out the window.  
  
"Things have been good. My business is going great. We're expanding and getting ready to hire a few more accountants. I have no complaints." She said trying to sound very professional and unaffected.  
  
Sean turned around to face her then walked around to the front of his desk and rested on the right edge directly in front of her as he put his hands in his pockets. He sat there holding his head down to the floor as if he were heavily concentrating on something. Then he raised his eyes to meet hers.  
  
"I meant you, how have you been doing Elana?"  
  
Elana wished that he wouldn't look at her so intently. He had to know what effect it was having on her. It was the same way he would always stare at her when he desperately wanted to make love to her after her many refusals. She didn't want him to affect her, but he did and she found herself at a loss for words, fearing that tears would break through and she would not be able to stop them.  
  
Again there was an awkward silence as Sean studied her, waiting for an answer and hoping that she would confess that she had been just as lost without him as he had been without her for all of these years. She never answered him and he was now faced with the opportunity to ask Elana why she had decided to end their relationship even though he remembered the words she had written. He somehow didn't believe them after having all of this time to contemplate it. He didn't know what to do. Should he address it or should he just leave it be and concentrate on the business at hand. He decided to do the ladder. There could be no point in drudging up the past and she had made herself clear in her letter. If she had changed her mind she always knew where to find him, but he had never heard from her, so he concluded that her feelings had not changed and that he should leave well enough alone.  
  
Finally, Jon came back into the room breaking the spell that Elana felt Sean was trying to weave for her, but he announced that he had to go to another site to help their employee Sheila on a pending account. Elana tried to cut in and explain that she would go, but reason won out and Jon convinced her that she should stay and go to the board meeting that would be scheduled for the day. She desperately did not want to be left alone with Sean for the whole day because it was apparent that they didn't know how to deal with each other because of their past together. Elana, knowing Sean, surmised that at some point he would be really blunt and ask her something or say something that would catch her totally off guard and she wasn't quite ready for that even though it was inevitable.  
  
After Jon left Sean spoke. "Well, Ms. Powers. It seems that you and I will be spending the day together. Before we get started, is there anything that you need before we continue?  
  
'Yes.' She thought. Seeing Sean again had caused a rush of memories to flood her mind. He looked so handsome standing there in his office wearing the blue dress shirt and navy suit that brought out the brilliance of his eyes. When he looked at her it took everything for her not to break down in tears and apologize. The emotional wall she had built over the years was tearing down just by being in Sean's presence. If she didn't get a hold of herself she knew she would risk loosing her composure. "I would like a small office to work out of since almost all of my time will be spent here for the next several months and I'll need access to a secretary to do any administrative work."  
  
"That's easy enough. There is an office right across the hall from mine and Charlotte can handle whatever work you may have. If it gets to be too much I can call in a temporary secretary."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Why don't I show you the office and then I can take you around to familiarize you with the environment here and all of the departments?"  
  
"That would be good. I'll need to know where everything is."  
  
Sean buzzed Charlotte. "Charlotte could you come in here please."  
  
Within seconds Charlotte was in Sean's office and standing directly in front of Elana facing Sean who was behind his desk.  
  
Elana couldn't fathom why Sean or any man would let his secretary walk around so scantily clad. The woman obviously was taken with Sean and Elana wondered whether he had a relationship with her at one time or another.   
  
"Charlotte could you have the office across the hall set up for Ms. Powers and I would like for you to handle any administrative work she may have in the future. Let me know if things get overloaded and we'll get some help for you."  
  
"Sure, Mr. Logan." Charlotte turned around to face Elana, who could tell that she made the woman uneasy. "Ms. Powers I'll have that set up for you by the end of the day. You should be able to move in tomorrow morning."  
  
"Thank you Charlotte."  
  
Turning back to face Sean Charlotte asked. "Is there anything else Mr. Logan?"  
  
"No, that will be all for now."   
  
Charlotte walked out of the door flashing her long legs and shapely behind in her tight lime green skirt that stopped mid-thigh. Elana watched her as she purposely switched her hips back and forth hoping that Sean was watching.  
  
"I intend to talk to her about that." Sean said knowing what Elana was thinking as he watched her watching his secretary.  
  
Elana turned around and stood from her seat. "Talk to her about what?"  
  
"About her appearance. I know she looks less than professional and you'd probably be more comfortable if she dressed a little more conservatively."  
  
"She's your secretary, not mine. You can have her dress any way you want." Elana said trying to regain the confidence that Sean had already started to tear down "I guess I'm ready for that tour now."  
  
"Sure." Sean walked out from behind his desk and over next to Elana. "After you." He said in a softer more familiar voice. She walked toward the door and he opened it for her and directed her toward the elevators to go to the other floors where Crealite held offices. As they waited for the elevator, Sean's thoughts raced through his mind. Smelling her perfume and watching her confident demeanor made him think of when they were in college. She always held herself with such pride and she was more beautiful now than he ever had remembered. The pictures on the magazines did her no justice. Her skin was smooth and flawless. Her lips were temping and her clothing fit her to a T. Sean was suddenly overtaken by her, and had an urge to take her in his arms and kiss away all the years they had been apart, but he knew he had to be careful. He had told his grandfather that he didn't know if he was going to be able to keep it together and now he was sure that he would not be; not for long. He could feel his old feelings creeping up on him like a lion scoping its prey. He knew that eventually he would be fiercely attacked by the full force of those feelings, he just hoped that no one else would be around to witness his defeat. When the elevator bell rang, James quickly came around the corner.  
  
"Hey, where are you guys going?"   
  
Sean and Elana looked at him as he made his way to the elevator. As the door opened, Sean slightly touched the small of Elana's back to direct her into the elevator before him while he responded to James "We're going on a tour of the departments." James followed closely behind them into the elevator. When the doors closed, Sean pushed the button for the 31st floor as he listened to James.  
  
"I can take Ms. Powers on the tour Sean. You must be extremely busy having to run everything around here. You shouldn't be burdened down with giving a simple tour. That's for us peons to do."  
  
"It's no burden James. And I'm the best person to familiarize Ela -- Ms. Powers with our departments."  
  
"Well as a major stockholder I know all of the departments just as well as you do, so..."  
  
Elana was getting uncomfortable with the tug of war that existed between the two men even though she knew James had been trying to come onto her, she also recognized that their conflict was from some other source, so she tried to resolve the matter to prevent it from escalating. "Gentlemen, I'd be happy if you both could take me on the tour. Two heads are better than one, so whatever one of you doesn't mention then the other may, which will give me a more complete idea of how things are run."  
  
"Splendid idea. Do you see Sean how it takes a woman to solve a man's problems sometimes?"  
  
Sean rolled his eyes at James who had now directed his attention to Elana.   
  
"Ms. Powers, Do you have any plans for lunch today?"  
  
"No not yet."  
  
"I would be honored if you joined me today for lunch. Since your going to be with us for a while I would like to make your experience here as wonderful as possible and it helps if you have a few friends around."  
  
"I'm not here to make friends Mr. Payton. I'm here to help Crealite stay in business."  
  
Thrown off from her bluntness, James attempted to try again, "Um yes, I know, but it wouldn't hurt if you had someone you could..."  
  
The elevator door opened and Sean spoke "31st floor. Here we are!" Sean waited while Elana, walking past James, stepped out of the elevator. He couldn't help but laugh to himself at James trying to make a play for Elana because he knew that it would take more than what James was putting out to convince her to go on an informal date.  
  
James walked out of the elevator, ignoring Sean and walking up next to Elana. "You're a woman after my own heart Ms. Powers. Maybe I should just say that I would be delighted to take you to lunch today and get to know you better, if you would like too." Elana now couldn't ignore that James was directly asking her out and she felt a little uneasy discussing this in front of Sean for some reason, but she also recognized it as a date, something she hadn't been on in a long time. She quickly looked over James and found that he was a very handsome man. His blonde wavy hair was combed back and fell slightly to the side. He towered over her and his brown eyes were soft and comforting. She surmised that he had to be in his late 30's or early 40's and even though she had never dated any white man other than Sean, she thought that this may be her opportunity to start getting over him once and for all and finding true happiness for herself.  
  
"Well, Mr. Payton, since you asked like that how can I refuse?"   
  
Sean was shocked that she agreed and stood to the side feeling as if someone had just slapped him while he listened to James organize their lunch plans.  
  
After a few minutes Sean interrupted. "James, did you get that meeting set up for today?"  
  
Looking up slightly from his conversation with Elana, James replied, "Yes, it will be at 2:30 this afternoon." Then he directed his attention back to Elana.  
  
Sean was now feeling like a third wheel, so he opted to let James do the tour while he went back to his office to recoup and catch up on some other business until the meeting at 2:30.  
  
When he returned to his office Charlotte informed him that Sheridan was on the phone. He went into his office and reluctantly picked up the line.  
  
"Hello, Sean here."  
  
"Hi, love. It's me. Look I just called Elana Powers office and the secretary said that she was there today."  
  
"Yes, her accounting firm will be revamping our company."  
  
"Well, why didn't you say that Friday night Sean, when I was going on and on about how I wanted to do business with her! I swear you sometimes don't see a good thing even when it's right in front of your face! Would it be possible for you to tell her about me and get me an appointment with her."  
  
"Sheridan, that's not my place. You're going to have to do that yourself. She's going to have an office here, so I'll give you her number and you should be able to reach her tomorrow morning."  
  
"Oh that would be great. Thank you love." Sheridan made several kissing noises on the phone.  
  
Sean gave her the number and they ended their conversation. Afterwards, he reflected on how empty his relationship with Sheridan was and he decided that the next time he saw her he would talk to her about ending their courtship. Then his mind wandered to James and Elana. He wondered what lies James was making up or what things he was telling her to impress her and secure himself points in seducing her. Ever since Sean had first met the man, he knew James had an unearthly desire to conquer and acquire anything and everything he set his desires on even Crealite. Sean also knew that James had visions of taking over Crealite, he just hadn't figured out how to yet. After thinking it over, Sean felt that he had an obligation for the sake of their friendship to at least warn Elana about James even though he was more than sure that she would eventually see right through the man.  
  
As he sat there he tried to sort through his feelings. He had seen her and he had made it through without any embarrassing breakdowns. His heart fluttered as he couldn't help but see how she looked at him when he asked her how she was doing. He didn't know why she never answered. He couldn't help but think that he had noticed a glossiness come over her eyes after a few seconds of their staring at each other. 'Could that mean that she still has feelings for me and couldn't bring herself to tell me?' he wondered. 'No, of course not, because she had just accepted a date from James, right in front of me. If she still had feelings for me she couldn't have done that' he thought.   
  
Meanwhile, James showed Elana throughout all of the Crealite executive and administrative offices on the 30th through 33rd floors. He introduced her to all of the managers and first-line supervisors and gave her a brief excerpt of what function each department served as she took meticulous notes. At lunchtime he took her to an exclusive restaurant in his Ferrari and all he talked about was himself. He told her about his elusive father and all of the money he had made. Then he told her about all of his hobbies and daredevil feats that he had performed. He spoke about his own wealth and the houses and cars that he owned, the exotic vacations he took and on and on and on. Elana did not get a word in edgewise; not that he asked her anything about herself that day. Nevertheless, Elana was intrigued with him. He was exceptionally handsome and sophisticated. He could speak 4 languages and he was very sure of himself. She saw him as a man who could take her wherever she wanted to go and help her achieve whatever she wanted, but she didn't know if he could share some of his love for himself with her. She decided that it was way too early to tell this and that he may just be nervous. She was not sure if he had ever dated interracially before, but if he hadn't that may be the cause of his nervousness. After lunch they returned to the office so that Elana could prepare for the presentation. When she went back to Sean's office to get her briefcase, he was sitting at his desk on the phone. When she came in he kept his eyes on her as he talked and finally he ended his conversation and got off of the phone.  
  
As he hung up the receiver he asked, "So, how was your lunch with the illustrious James Payton?"  
  
"It was illustrious." She said figuring that Sean knew his employee well.  
  
Sean got up from his desk and put his jacket back on and walked towards Elana as he spoke. "I hope he didn't overwhelm you?"  
  
"I'm not easily overwhelmed." She said putting her notes into her case and noticing how close Sean was standing to her.  
  
"Yes, I remember." He said as he stood over her.  
  
Sean's statement made Elana blush as she finished packing her attaché case and picked it up.  
  
"Are you prepared for this meeting? You know there will be about 35 managers and supervisors there."  
  
"Yes, I'm well prepared. Can we go?" Elana felt herself getting more and more nervous as she and Sean stood next to each other. Even though she never looked directly at him she could feel him staring at her again.  
  
"Sure, after you. Ms. Powers." He motioned to the door causing Elana to turn and walk out with him following. James had shown her that the conference room was on the 33rd floor, so she went straight to the elevators. Sean pushed the button and they stood there waiting in silence until it came. When the elevator door opened there were several people already inside leaving very little space for anyone else.  
  
"We can wait for the next one." Elana suggested, not wanting to be that close to Sean.  
  
"There are 45 floors in this building. The next elevator may take a while and we'll be late for the meeting. I know how you hate to be late." Sean said with a smile on his face knowing why she didn't want to get on the elevator.  
  
Reluctantly she stepped into the small space that was left and Sean went in beside her. To make enough room she had to turn sideways with Sean standing behind her. They were so close, that Elana remembered how he would always stand behind her wrapping his arms around her waist and rest his head on her shoulders whenever they stood in a line or were waiting for something. As she longed for the 33rd floor to be reached, it couldn't have come soon enough. When the doors opened, Elana intended to be the first one out, but a few people stammered out of the elevator first blocking her way. Elana was so close to Sean that she could feel the vigorous pumping of his heart and she froze. Sean had to speak to get her out of the elevator, so in an almost whispery voice he spoke in her ear. "This is our floor Ms. Powers." Elana practically ran out of the elevator and headed for the conference room not even looking back at Sean.  
  
Sean on the other hand decided to let her walk on ahead of him, so he stopped briefly at the receiving desk. He knew that with her body so close to his, Elana had to feel how fast his heart was beating, so he took these few seconds to try and calm himself.  
  
When she arrived at the conference room door Sean had caught up with her and reached in front of her to open the door. She thanked him as they both walked in together. Once they were in the conference room Sean took on his professional demeanor.  
  
"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen." He said and everyone returned the greeting. "I'm sure that most of you had a chance to meet Ms. Powers this morning..." As he talked he noticed that Elana did not have a seat, so he interrupted his speech. "Charlotte, could you get Ms. Powers a chair please." Charlotte got up from her chair in the corner and went outside to return with another conference room chair. As she slid the chair up to Sean everyone watched her try to make her way in her 3-inch heels. Sean finally met her half way while he was still talking after he noticed the spectacle she was making and reminded himself to talk to her about her clothing this afternoon. He rolled the chair right up next to his own at the top of the conference table. "You can sit here, please Ms. Powers." He said as he lightly put his hand on her back and seated her then pushed the chair up under her. Then he continued.   
  
"As you all know we have been having some trouble with our budgeting and other corporate concerns. Ms. Powers company has come to save the day. She will be conducting one-on-one interviews with you and your staff. Please make sure that she has everyone's full cooperation so that this thing can run smoothly and she can figure out where our problems exist, so that we can correct them. Now I'll let her speak with you all and if you have any questions please feel free to ask. Ms. Powers, would you please let everyone in on your strategy." Sean went back to his seat and sat down as Elana stood up.  
  
"Hello again everyone. I enjoyed speaking with some of you this morning, so you are already somewhat familiar with what I'm doing here. As Mr. Logan said our job is to find out where Crealite's weaknesses are and address them. The way that I will determine this is to do a detailed analysis of all of the functions of you and your employees. Evidently somewhere within your operations there's a weak spot which is causing the company to lose revenue. This is detrimental to you all because if it continues Crealite will have to release some of its employees in order to save revenue. Eventually if the trend continues, the company will have to file bankruptcy and everyone will have to move on elsewhere, so this is why Mr. Logan and your board of directors has called us in. I'm sure he is not interested in loosing any of his workers so we're going to try and do everything we can to avoid this."  
  
Elana continued to explain what would be taking place over the next few months. Sean sat following every move that she made. He felt really proud of her. She handled a room of people like she had handled him at one time. She had everyone 's rapt attention. He could see that the female managers and supervisors were proud to see a woman was coming to take on an important role and many of them asked questions whereas they usually sat silently listening to whatever the men had to say. The men were also impressed that a woman and especially a black one had so much knowledge about corporate and financial matters. Many of them did not get the full understanding of everything she was saying, but didn't want to let everyone else know, so they kept quiet.  
  
As she continued to talk and answer questions during their 21/2 meeting, Sean couldn't help but think how things would be if they had gotten married. They would have this meeting, end it and then he would take her into his office, lock the door and make love to her right on his desk. He was so turned on by listening to the soft, vibrant voice that at one time could have asked anything of him and he would have happily obliged her. As he admired her perfectly formed legs, he couldn't help but remember them wrapped around him more than a few times; and then he wondered what men had she given the privilege of enjoying her beautiful body. As the meeting progressed Sean felt that she had to be the most fascinating woman he knew. She had almost all of the answers to everyone's questions and those she didn't know she would acknowledge it and indicate that she would get back to them later with the information. Finally, at 5:45, the meeting came to a close and Elana tried to direct everyone's attention back to Sean so that he could say any final words and everyone could go home.  
  
"Mr. Logan was there anything else you needed to say." There was a pause while Sean languished in his daydream. "Um Mr. Logan?" Elana smiled at everyone as she touched Sean's shoulder almost feeling awkward for him.  
  
"Yes, I'm sorry everyone." Sean said as he realized that he was too deep in his daydream. Elana sat back down in her chair beside Sean and as he got up she couldn't help but notice his piercing eyes again.  
  
"I hope I wasn't boring you too much Mr. Logan." She said with an unexpected smile on her face and causing everyone to laugh.  
  
Her smile went right through Sean as he remembered how she would always smile at him and his insides would turn to jelly as they were at that moment. He smiled back at her and said, "You could never do that, Ms. Powers." Lightly touching her shoulder as he walked over to the side of the room, Sean asked for any final questions and after no response he dismissed the meeting.   
  
Everyone made haste in clearing the room eager to get home for the evening. Sean stood at the door saying goodbye and he noticed James talking to Elana at the head of the conference table. Finally James made his way to the door and patted Sean as he walked out "James Payton charm my man." James said as he left room leaving Sean and Elana alone again.  
  
Sean stood at the door watching Elana pack her things. He walked back towards her.  
  
"Are you leaving right now?" He asked.  
  
"I had planned to. I'll probably be coming in every morning at around 8 or 8:30. I may be staying late every afternoon."  
  
"How late?"  
  
"I'll try to get out of here by 6:30 or 7:00."  
  
"Do you always work this hard?"  
  
"It's the only way I got where I am today. I'm used to it."  
  
"What about dinner?"  
  
"Oh I always manage to eat dinner. Even though it sometimes is just..."  
  
Interrupting her, Sean clarified his question. "No Elana, I mean what about dinner with me, tonight?"  
  
Elana was shocked and stopped what she was doing and looked up at him seeing that old familiar look he had when he was about to try and convince her of something. She slowly resumed her packing. "I don't think that would be a good idea."  
  
"Why not. Two old friends sharing a nice meal together. Talking about old times. Why wouldn't that be a good idea?"  
  
Elana didn't know how to answer and again they stood silently. Finally Sean moved in closer to her. "Elana we need to talk and you know we do."  
  
She closed her bag and looked back up at him. "Yea, I know. Tonight is not good because I have other plans."  
  
"You going out with James?"  
  
"Yes, I'm meeting him somewhere."  
  
Sean looked away from her. "I see. Well, let me know when you get the time." He picked up his materials and walked toward the door.   
  
"I don't know when I'll get the chance, I'm going to be so busy, but I'll let you know." She said quietly.  
  
When he opened the door he looked back at her. "Take your time. I can wait a little longer. I've been waiting for nine years. Elana." He continued out of the door and left Elana standing in the conference room alone.  
  



	18. A TRUE FRIEND

Part 18: A TRUE FRIEND  
  
  
Elana stood at the conference table and exhaled slowly after Sean left. The first day was over. She did not know how but she had made it through seeing him again. She plopped herself down in the chair and put her fingers on her head leaning forward. How was she going to pull this off? Sean had pretty much told her in no uncertain terms that they needed to talk. He seemed to be willing to give her enough time until she was comfortable with it, but it was still the inevitability of it that plagued her and the fact that she did not know when, if ever, she would be comfortable talking to him about it. What would she say to him? He was going to want to know the truth because even though she put everything she had into the letter, she knew that somehow he wouldn't believe it, not after everything they shared together. At the time, she was counting on him not believing it and coming to find her in Pennsylvania, where she would reveal why she wrote the letter, and then they would get engaged and soon be married immediately after she finished graduate school, but he never came for her and she knew that her letter had accomplished it's intended purpose erasing all hope of them ever being together. Now, when they actually talked about it, should she tell him the truth or concoct some other story that would continue to keep them apart. Maybe she could just tell him that she had no interest in him anymore. She could tell Sean that what they had was all in the past.  
  
But as she pondered over that thought she knew it would be impossible to pull such a lie off, at least not in front of him. She could never tell him that she stopped loving him because she actually never had. Seeing him today had reaffirmed that fact in her heart and mind, and she wondered if he felt the same way. But 'No.' She thought to herself as she got up from the conference table and gathered her things. 'I can't fool myself like that. Sean has been dating Sheridan for over two years and certainly he must have deep feelings for her to have stayed with her so long. They're probably even planning to get married soon.'  
  
As she walked out of the conference room toward the elevators, she remembered that Sean was a dedicated man when it came to relationships. From their first kiss in high school, when Sean had graduated, up to his final visit to Georgia, she never even saw him trying to look at other women. They only had eyes for each other and apparently that had never changed for Elana. Today as she stole quick glances at him, she noticed that all of his handsome features just seemed to be magnified with his age. His hair was cut perfectly to fit his face, his eyes were full of emotion that he did not know how to express when they were younger and his body had become more robust and manly. A woman could not help but admire him as she had noticed many of the female managers doing during the meeting. Charlotte, his secretary, was particularly trying to get his attention as she sat directly in front of the direction Sean's chair faced and constantly crossed her legs, revealing who knows what under that little skirt she had on, Elana thought. Suddenly, as she walked up to the desk clerk, she found herself getting mad at Charlotte and then realized that she had no right to. Actually Sean seemed to not notice Charlotte at all. Now she thought again about what she would tell Sean when the time came.  
  
After obtaining her key and heading for the garage, Elana gave up thinking about it and relented to the fact that she was not any more sure of what she would tell Sean now than she had been when he first indicated that they needed to talk. She decided that she would have to call Gail and discuss things with her. At least her friend would help her sort out some feelings, even though she was biased. She knew that Gail's main premise was that Elana never should not have written the letter in the first place because she had always contended that Elana should have called Phillip's bluff and eloped with Sean and got pregnant anyway just to spite him. Elana always put off Gail's suggestions as nonsense thinking that her girlfriend could not possibly have known how it actually felt to be in that situation. Despite Gail's extreme suggestions Elana knew she could always count on her. After actually mailing the letter, Gail had been there during all of Elana's grief stricken days. She comforted her and readily took to creating innumerable descriptive expletives to characterize the Logan family. Even though it was no consolation for Elana's loosing Sean, Gail made her laugh and she loved her friend for that.  
  
Now as she stepped off of the elevators into the garage parking lot she noticed a 1964 red mustang that reminded her of Sean's old car. Then she saw the reserved sign on the wall indicating "Crealite President". Knowing that it had to be Sean's car, she could not believe that he had kept it in such good condition for so many years. She looked around to see if anyone was watching her as she walked up to the car and looked inside. Gazing into the front seat brought back memories of Sean's first Spring Break from college when they had made out inside of it. It was the first time he had touched her and made her feel utterly desirable to him. At that moment a rush of emotion shot through her as she relived that day in her mind. She felt her heart flutter and put her hand to her chest as she made her way back to her own car.   
  
She hadn't recognized that while she was looking inside Sean had gotten off the elevator. When he noticed her he just stood by the elevator doors, not making a sound, watching her. He could tell when she put her hand on her heart what she was remembering. Then she suddenly went to her own car, got in and drove off. That small act told Sean everything he needed to know. She still had some feelings for him and now he was faced with the task of what he would do about it. Walking methodically to his car he thought about his next step and figured that he would do nothing until after he and Elana had their talk. He could not fathom why she wrote that letter, not after all that they had shared for so many years. He guessed that somehow her father had found out about their secret rendezvous and made her change schools, giving her some sort of ultimatum if she continued seeing him, or maybe since she was in an all black college she was under pressure from her classmates about dating a white man. He could not quite figure it out, but as he got into his car and started up the engine, he decided that he would give her some time to come to him and tell him, but if she did not, he would go to her and demand some answers.   
  
  
Long Island  
Elana's home  
  
  
Elana came into her townhouse and threw her case on the leather sectional couch and fell down with it. She was finally home and all she wanted to do was to soak in a hot bath and go to bed, but she remembered she had agreed to meet James at a restaurant in Long Island. As she contemplated what she would wear the phone rang. She reached over and picked up the receiver from the end table.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, girl, so how did it go?" Gail said excitedly on the other end of the receiver.  
  
"Oh, Gail" she sighed as she laid her head back on the couch ready to talk. "Girl, I didn't meet with Phillip today."  
  
"You didn't? Why not?"  
  
"Because I met with Sean instead."  
  
"WHAAAAAT?? SO DID YOU RUN INTO HIS ARMS AND APOLOGIZE FOR BEING FOOLISH AND BEG HIS FORGIVENESS AND TO TAKE YOU BACK?" She asked laughing.  
  
"Nooo. I didn't do that, but I was on the brink of it." Elana said calmly.  
  
"So what happened? Tell me! Tell me! I want to know everything, girl! You'd better not leave anything out or I'm gonna reach through this phone and strangle you!" Gail was situating herself on her bed as she waited for Elana to tell her what happened.  
  
"Ok. Well, let's see." Elana said trying to make it interesting. "We started out holding hands, I got close enough to feel his heart beating rapidly in the elevator, then he asked me to dinner."  
  
"WHAAAAAAT? OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Trying to calm herself down Gail continued, "Put this in context, now. Are you saying he held your hand? Explain it to me girl!"  
  
"When we were introduced he took my hand, but he didn't shake it he just held it and stared at me." Elana was enjoying Gail's enjoyment with her story.  
  
"Oh God girl, did you pass out or something with him looking at you like that."  
  
"No fortunately I was sitting. If I was standing I'm sure I would have collapsed."  
  
"Ok now what about the heart beating, NO! NO! Save that for last. What about the dinner date? Tell me about that."  
  
"Well after the meeting with all of his top managers and supervisors, everybody left and he asked me out to dinner with him."  
  
"Oh God, Elana no he didn't girl!" Gail fell back flat on her bed as she said this.  
  
"Yes, he did."  
'Scream' "Gurrrrrl. I am telling you... I am telling you that man wants you! He wants you bad! Oh God I can't believe this! Whew, let me cool off from all of this excitement. Now do you know what you're going to wear tonight? I have this sexy diamond-studded number that will blow his mind girl. Whenever I put this dress on to go out with my husband we never make it out the door. You hear what I'm telling you. As a matter of fact I'm just gonna bring it over to you right now. I just got it cleaned so all you have to do is put it on girl and let it work it's own magic. With your body in this dress, I guarantee you will have that man back before 12:00 tonight...."  
  
"Gail, Gail..." Elana said trying to stop her friend's mind from racing into all different directions.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You don't have to bring over the dress because I'm not going out with him tonight."  
  
"Well that's ok I'll just bring it over and it will be ready for tomorrow night or whatever night you all planned. Just let me warn you though. You'd better be ready to give it up when you put this thing on because it is a man-gettin' weapon guaranteed to be off your body in fifteen minutes if you're alone and thirty minutes if you're not. You hear what I say girl..."  
  
"Gail. Gail."  
  
"WHAT! Why do you keep interrupting me Elana? You'd better listen to me girl. I'm trying to tell you how to snag this man you've been saving yourself for all these years..."  
  
"Gail. I didn't agree to go out with him and I HAVE NOT been saving myself for him!" Elana said trying to convince herself moreso than Gail.  
  
There was a short pause, then Elana heard Gail banging the phone on something. "Now run that by me once again because I think something is wrong with this phone I got up to my ears and its mixing up your words. You say what now?" Gail held the phone closer to her ear and listened intently waiting for Elana to reconfirm what she had just said.  
  
"I saaaaid that I told him it wouldn't be a good idea for us to go out to dinner."  
  
"Ok. Now hold on while I go get my phone book." Gail said almost too calmly.  
  
"What do you need a phone book for?" Elana was confused.  
  
"I have to call these two professional gentlemen to come over and fit you for a STRAIGHT JACKET!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH YOU??? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND??? I CAN'T BELIEVE...." Gail ranted on.  
  
"Gail. Calm down now. I just couldn't go out with him because he wanted to talk about why I wrote him that letter and I wasn't up to it."  
  
"WHAT'S THERE TO BE UP TO? You just go to dinner. Tell him about his TRIFLING daddy. Take him back to your place and let him have what he had been begging you for, for years. Then you guys go get married and have lots of babies and live happily ever after. HOW CAN YOU NOT BE UP TO THAT? I don't understand Elana!"  
  
"It's more complicated than that Gail. I just couldn't face him on that issue not right now. And besides I have a date with someone else."  
  
"Someone else? Who?" Now Gail was getting upset with her friend.  
  
"James Payton. He's a Vice President of Marketing at Crealite"  
  
"James Payton. Is he some other white guy Elana?"  
  
"Um Yeah."  
  
"Oh God girl. This story is just going downhill. I need to go take an Excedrin because you are tearing my nerves up and I'm getting a headache right now. You know girl, you MAKE things complicated for yourself and you take everything too seriously. It's obvious from what you told me that Sean is at least still attracted to you and probably still in love with you. Then you go and accept a date with one of his white subordinates after you stayed away from him because you said you couldn't handle an interracial relationship. Girl you are making me too tired. Wait a minute, are you saying you are going out with this guy tonight?"  
  
"Yeah in about an hour or so."  
  
"And you told Sean you couldn't go out with him because you had a date with this James guy?" Gail asked.  
  
"Yes, that's right." As Gail asked her these questions Elana now saw for herself how foolish it made her look and how unbelievable her letter now seemed.  
  
"Umph-Umph-umph. Well I guess it's your life girl and I can't run it for you. I do need to run mine though so I need to get off this phone. Max will be home soon, and I have a nice dinner planned for him, so I want to put the baby to sleep and then I guess I'LL be puttin' that dress on because I sho' ain't gonna give it to you for some James somebody."  
  
"Gail, don't be upset with me I just need some time and besides you have to remember he has a girlfriend, Sheridan Winthrop."  
  
"Elana. I'm not even going there with you again. Listen, I ain't mad 'atcha girl. I just hate to see you wasting time. You know Sean is the only man for you and whatever obstacles you think may be in your way can be overcome if the two of you love each other enough. You'll make a way around them, but you're going backwards over the same hurdles you already jumped trying to avoid the mountain. Girl I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Ok Gail. See ya"  
  
They hung up the phone and Elana got up knowing she had to get herself ready for her date with James even though her heart was not in it. After contemplating what Gail had said she knew her friend was right, but at the same time there was no way that she was going to throw herself at Sean. If he was still in love with her as Gail had claimed he would have to let her really know it before she would go embarrassing herself. Thinking about her pending date, Elana felt that she should have been more excited to be going out on a date because after all it had been over four years. She never had problems getting dates or offers, her problem was staying interested enough to try and pursue the relationship. When it came down to it Elana believed that her coldness toward men had been partly due to Phillip Logan's accusations about her using a man to get somewhere in life. Saying that to her had done more than just shatter her hopes of having happiness with Sean, it had also made her shy away from men. But now she figured she would try and remedy that situation. She thought that James Payton may be just the one to help her lower her guard and allow herself to be loved by a man. As she made her way to her bedroom she shed her clothing to take a quick shower so that she could meet James at 8:00pm. She would put her best foot forward for James and maybe, just maybe she could find what she was looking for in him.   
  
7:50pm  
Louis Catrell Restaurant  
  
Elana walked into the receiving area of the posh dimly lit restaurant wearing a long white evening gown that hugged her waist and hips then hung loosely down her legs. On the side of the dress was a split that stopped mid-thigh. The top front of the dress hung loosely revealing a small amount of cleavage and revealed that she wore nothing underneath. The shoulders of the dress were gathered and held together by diamond pins on either side and the back of the dress was exposed down to her mid-back. She had elected, as always to forgo any under clothing other than her silk stockings. And she wore a pair of white heels that had a diamond strip sweeping across the front and up the sides. Her hair was twisted up in the front allowing several stray strands to fall on the sides of her face and in the back, it hung straight down below her shoulders in a blunt cut. She stood there and looked around, but did not see James, so she asked the hostess.  
  
"Hello. I'm here to meet Mr. James Payton."  
  
The hostess scanned her up and down above his glasses. He noticed that she was very classy and knew that she was definitely not the sort that James Payton usually dined with. 'Maybe this is a business meeting.' He thought to himself. "Ah yes, let me show you to your table. Mr. Payton has just arrived and is waiting." He called a waitress to come and direct Elana to James' table.  
  
As he saw her coming, James thought he was not looking at the same person that he had met earlier that day. She looked totally different. She had expertly shed her business demeanor and now was elegantly dressed. He was certainly pleased and hadn't expected her to come looking as well as she did. He stood and smiled as the waitress showed her to his table. "You look so beautiful. You're almost like a different person." He said and continued complimenting her as he helped her with her chair and then returned to his own seat.  
  
"Thank you James, but you've only seen me once." She said smiling at his flattery.  
  
"Now that's where you're wrong."  
  
"Oh really now and how's that?"  
  
"I have admired you from a distance at several different functions over the past few years."  
  
"And where has this been?"   
  
"Well, there's the past two annual AICPA dinners and the businessman's charity event three years ago."  
  
"You were at all of those functions. I never noticed you."  
  
"Yeah I was there and I could not keep my eyes off of you."   
  
"Well why didn't you say anything then?" Elana asked knowing he would give her an honest answer.  
  
"I was not sure if you would date a white man or if you were one of those that is mad at me for the ignorance of my ancestors."  
  
"So what made you think, I was not one of the ladder this time, when you saw me at Crealite."  
  
"I don't know. I guess I just took a chance."  
  
"I guess you did."  
  
"Well after seeing you walk in here tonight I'm glad I did." He said with a demure smile on his face. Elana could only smile back at him while she thought he certainly knows the right things to say to a woman.  
  
As their conversation progressed, they ordered their drinks and continued to talk. Afterwards they ordered dinner and eventually desert while talking and laughing the whole time. Elana noticed that James had a lot of questions about her and that he wasn't so focused on himself, which eased her earlier apprehension about him. After a while, the band played a nice tune and James asked Elana if she wanted to dance and she accepted. It had been so long since she had been in a man's arms that she rather enjoyed herself. James was tall and he seemed to engulf her when he hugged her waist and took the lead in the slow dance. He was an impeccable dancer and seemed to make Elana forget about everything especially her encounter with Sean earlier. The only thing she tried to concentrate on was the music and the good time she was having.  
  
While they danced, James was enjoying the soft, warm feel of her next to him and hoped that it would not be long before she would allow him to get even closer to her. He had never been out with a woman like her and he had never dated outside his own race. Most women had been so captivated by his money and good looks that he never had to put much effort into it. By the end of the first date they would practically be all over him, but Elana was different. She did not seemed to be overly impressed with the daring feats he told her about, and she was definitely not interested in his money, it seemed because she never asked him anything about it; whereas, other women wanted to talk about nothing else. It was obvious that pursuing her was going to be different and he looked forward to it. Soon they noticed that it was getting late and that they both had to be at work in the morning, so they decided to call it a night. While waiting in the valet reception area they talked.  
  
"I enjoyed being with you tonight, Elana, can we do this again? Say tomorrow night?" James asked hoping he would be able to get in a date every night, so that he could reach his ultimate goal of seducing her. He usually would try to move in on the first date, but he sensed that Elana was not that type of girl and decided that it would take him a little longer and much more effort than usual to win her over.  
  
"No, James, not tomorrow night. I can't keep this pace up and try to work too. Maybe over the weekend or something." She said.  
  
"How about Friday evening. Could I pick you up and maybe we could go somewhere in the city. There's a play that will be starting that night and I'd love to take you with me."  
  
"Well that sounds good. I'll look forward to it, but I can meet you. It's a little far for you to travel to Long Island and then to New York and then back to Long Island before you get home."  
  
"Who said anything about me going home Friday?" James asked as he smiled at her. Elana smiled back because she had found out that James was always completely honest and open about what he wanted, and he was not ashamed to let anyone know, as long as he thought the person could handle his honesty. James had found out that Elana could handle whatever he dished out, and he knew she actually admired it because then she would have an opportunity to either accept or refuse it and they both could avoid playing word games.  
  
As they stood there refusing to pursue James' last comment, the valet drivers came with both of their cars and James walked Elana outside and to her car then tipped the valet. Before she got in they stood facing each other, where Elana's back was to her open car and James held the top of her car door open facing her.  
  
"I really would like to kiss you goodnight Elana."  
  
Getting into her car, she looked up at him. "I don't believe in kissing on the first date James."  
  
He closed her car door and said, "Now why did I just know that?"  
  
"I guess you know the same way you know you will be going home on Friday. Good night James. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
He watched her as she drove off and went to get into his own car to return home.  
  



	19. SUBTLE MOVES

Part 19: SUBTLE MOVES  
  
Crealite  
  
  
Sean came into the office at around 9:30am. When he stopped to get his messages from Charlotte, he noticed that Elana was in the office that had been set up for her. She was on the telephone and obviously ranting about something.  
  
"She's been on that phone for about half an hour yelling at somebody. It seems to have her pretty upset." Charlotte volunteered. "I don't know why she didn't close the door, and I hope it's not long distance."  
  
Sean decided to see if it had anything to do with Crealite, so he made his way to her office. He stood in the doorway and leaned up against it watching her as she paced back and forth in front of the window discussing an accounting matter with someone. It sounded like she was talking to Jon about one of their new accountants and a mistake that had been made on another account. He couldn't help but notice how the sun caught the brown highlights in her hair even though she had it all pinned up. She had on a charcoal gray skirt that stopped a few inches above her knees and a white silk blouse that complimented her figure. She wore charcoal gray heels to match her skirt and the silk shimmer on her legs from the hose made her seem irresistible to Sean. He thought about going over and taking the phone out of her hand then pulling her up close to him and kissing her anxiety away. He imagined himself unbuttoning her blouse and not getting any resistance from her this time as he always had before. Suddenly he noticed that she had stopped pacing and stood still, staring back at him. Her voice calmed down and finally she told Jon that she would call him back.  
  
After hanging up the phone, Elana greeted Sean. "Good morning."  
  
Sean moved into the office and sat his case down in the chair in front of her desk, then went behind the desk to where she stood. When he was no more than a few inches from her, he returned her greeting in a low methodic tone. "Good morning Ms. Powers."  
  
He wouldn't take his eyes from hers and waited to see how she would react to him. Elana could feel that familiar weakness in her knees, but was determined that she would not let him do this to her. She didn't know why he was taking this approach to her. It was like he was waiting for her to say or do something and she was not sure what it was. He had a girlfriend who he was seeing for over two years now, so why would he be persistent in trying to break down her resolve. Surely he had not turned into an uncaring man who would make passes at women even though he was in a committed relationship. She decided she knew what would break his game whatever it was.  
  
"I had a message on my desk this morning from your girlfriend." She said blankly and noticed that her statement did not have its intended effect as he continued his stare.  
  
"Did you?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, Sheridan asked if I would call her as soon as I had a chance. Would you happen to know what that's about." She said quickly, not knowing how long she could feign strength with him this close to her. Finally he broke his gaze and turned to look out the window and Elana quickly shut her eyes and reopened them from relief of his diverting his attention. She folded her arms hoping he couldn't hear the rapid beating of her heart.  
  
"I guess you'll have to ask her if you return her call." He said.  
  
Elana felt that he did know why Sheridan was calling, but for whatever reason elected not to tell her. She decided not to pursue it thinking that it would just prolong his stay in her office. "Well, on another note. I'll be working on my project schedule this week and I intend to have it for you by midweek. Friday I would like to submit the interviewing schedules to the individual departments so that they can all prepare to get their information together for the interviews that will begin next week."  
  
Sean turned back around to face her, noticing that she had closed herself up by folding her arms in front of her. He remembered that whenever she use to do that it was because she was nervous or trying to hide something, so he gave her a knowing smile. "I'll look forward to seeing your schedules Elana." He now remembered her date with James and wondered what had happened. He knew that James would try to move in on the first date as he always bragged about with his other conquests. Suddenly Sean felt sick thinking about James making moves on Elana, but he still wanted to know what had happened. "So, how was your date with James last night?"  
  
Elana couldn't stand it anymore and she wanted to move away from him, but she could not move too quickly because it would let him know that she was definitely affected, but then Sean moved over and sat on the edge of her desk waiting for her reply. She was relieved that he wasn't so close to her. So, unable to stand any longer from the weakness in her knees she gracefully sat in her chair and crossed her legs. Then she readily volunteered the information hoping this would make Sean go on about his business. As she spoke she sat back confidently in her chair and picked up a pencil then began tapping it on her desk. "We had a great time. Actually Mr. Payton is quite charming. He was very attentive and I really enjoyed his company." Elana now felt that she had regained some control because she was talking about her life apart from Sean and it was something they both would have to get used to especially if they would be working together for a while.  
  
Sean was not pleased. He had hoped that she would use her genius to see straight through his Vice President. He had hoped that age had not made Elana lose some of the gusto she had, when he had tried anything out of line with her, but looking at her, he realized that she WAS a woman and as far as he knew not many women, if any, had been able to resist James. As he watched her taking some pride in her date with James he couldn't help but notice that her blouse had opened up even more because of the way she was sitting, and he couldn't help but see the black lace camisole she wore underneath. "Did you let him kiss you?" He asked  
  
Elana was surprised that Sean would ask her this and it bothered her, so she stood up folding her arms and standing in a defensive manner. In an angry tone she answered him. "I don't think that's any of your business what I do while I'm not on company time!"  
  
Sean stood up a little thrown off by her reaction. "I'm sorry. You're right. I just wanted to tell you to be careful. James is not the person you think he is. He comes off as wonderful, but he's only after one thing and once he gets it you can never be too sure how much longer he'll stay around. I just don't want to see you get hurt."  
  
"Well, I'm a grown woman Sean and I can handle it. And besides, how do you know what I may be after? My intentions may not be totally honorable either."  
  
Sean was surprised, but then realized that she was just trying to shock him. So he moved in closer to her, and gently touched the side of her arm and spoke softly. "I guess I don't know what you're after Elana, but I do know you, and I'm certain that your intentions would be nothing but honorable for any man fortunate enough to have you pursuing him..."  
  
As Sean continued to speak, Charlotte appeared in the door and they both were caught off guard as she spoke. "Um. Excuse me, but um Mr. Logan one of your managers is in your office, he said he needs to see you and uh, Ms. Powers, you have a call on line 2."  
  
Sean returned his gaze to Elana as he responded to Charlotte. "Thank you Ms. Braumly. Tell him I'll be right there."  
  
Elana was uncomfortable with the whole situation and was angry at herself for being caught like this with Sean, so she moved away from him and toward her desk as she spoke to Charlotte. "Who is on the line Charlotte?"  
  
"It's Ms. Winthrop." She said as she moved backward out of the office looking back and forth from Sean to Elana wondering what was going on before she came into the office.  
  
Elana picked up the phone and Sean retrieved his case from the chair and went to his office. Meanwhile Elana spoke to Sheridan and found that she wanted to talk about a business proposition she had for her. At first Elana indicated that she would not be interested, but Sheridan convinced her to at least hear the idea out over lunch, so Elana agreed to the lunch and they scheduled to meet Wednesday of the following week.   
  
Making his way into his office he greeted the manager who was waiting for him and they briefly discussed a pending problem then the man left. Sean could see that Elana was still on line 2, so he decided that after the line was clear, he would call Sheridan back and set something up a time for them to meet. He was not going to live this lie with Sheridan any more. There was nothing between them and there never had been even when he had tried to make it so. He knew this now for sure because of the feeling that resurfaced the first time he saw Elana, after so many years. Just the mere sight of her made his heart beat faster and his stomach knotted up. He didn't know exactly what he would say to Sheridan, but he knew he did not love her and it was not fair to him or her to continue. Now the only thing he had to figure out was what he would do about Elana. He had to get to the bottom of what had happened nine years ago. He also had to know if they could find it in their hearts to forgive each other for whatever may have been the cause of their separation. He hoped that she may want to consider trying again. The past half hour in her office that morning had convinced him that he wanted her back. He couldn't stand the thought of James getting his filthy hands on her, but he couldn't let Elana know that. He couldn't let her know that he had stayed up all night wondering every minute what they were doing and hoping that Elana was just as staunch about promiscuity as she had been years ago. He knew that she had no doubt shared her love with someone in the past, but he wouldn't think about that because he was no virgin himself. Even though he had never loved anyone since Elana, but now that they had been thrown together, he felt it was some sign that they should be together. He made it his resolve to make sure that this time he was not going to let anyone get in his way, not himself, his family, Elana and especially not James Payton. What ever had happened nine years ago he almost did not care, but he knew it had to be resolved before they could move on. Then he noticed that Elana was no longer on the phone so he called Sheridan.  
  
"Hello, this is Sheridan Winthrop"  
  
"Hi, Sheridan, it's Sean."  
  
"Oh hi love. Guess what?"  
  
"Sheridan, we need to talk about some things."  
  
"Ok sure, but first I want to tell you about..."  
  
"When can we get together?"  
  
"Um, well I'm going away this weekend, maybe we can go to lunch together." Sheridan was not catching on to the seriousness of Sean's tone in fact he seemed to speak to her in the same manner he always had, so she didn't notice the difference.  
  
"That would be good. I can take the afternoon off and we can go somewhere, have a bite to eat and then talk. What's a good day for you."  
  
"I'll be in New York on Wednesday, so can we do it then."  
  
"Sure. Wednesday it will be."  
  
"Great. I'll have a surprise for you, and I look forward to spending the afternoon together. Maybe we can browse the jewelers for rings. You know I'll want something grand when you propose, so I want to give you an idea of what I like. I know we haven't discussed it lately, but I think it's time we went ahead and got married. There's really no need for us to do this dating thing anymore."  
  
"We'll talk about all of that Sheridan. I'll see you Wednesday."  
  
"Ok"  
  
Sean hung up the phone and couldn't believe that she would ask him about getting her a ring. Things had been only cordial between them after the dinner incident in Connecticut and he couldn't imagine why she wanted to get a ring now, but it did not matter. They would talk on Wednesday and it would all be over. He wouldn't have to wonder why she did the things she did any more and they both could go their separate ways and find someone more suitable for them both. Sean went about his work, now anxious for Wednesday to get here and after that, if Elana had not come to him soon after that to talk about what had happened, he would confront her.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	20. TRUE FEELINGS

Part 20: TRUE FEELINGS  
(Tuesday August 25 - 28, 1998)  
  
The rest of the week seemed to go by slowly for both Sean and Elana. Tuesday Elana stayed in her office working on the interview and project schedules she promised to have for Sean by the end of the week. Sean sat in his office and watched just about every move Elana made. He was happy that he suggested she move across from him, because he could always see who was going into her office, and also catch glimpses of her pacing back and forth, whenever she was on the phone. On several occasions, Sean noticed James going into her office and closing the door behind him. To Sean's relief, James always stayed for only a few minutes and he left not looking particularly happy, which gave Sean a clue that Elana was not falling into his trap quickly even though James was no doubt using every bit of his charm to win her over. A few times during the week James had come into Sean's office bragging about the progress he thought he was making with Elana, but Sean only sat in near silence listening to him.  
  
During the next three days whenever Sean arrived at work, Elana was already working diligently at her desk. They really did not see much of each other accept for Sean's regular morning hello's which he made a point to do every morning, if nothing else. He would always try to get close to her, but she would successfully brush him off or something would interrupt him and they would have to abruptly end what had really never gotten started. Sean knew he was making her nervous. He kept telling himself that he was not going to continue getting so close to her and torturing himself, but whenever he came in during the morning and set his eyes upon her, he couldn't help but want to be near her. At night his dreams would be filled with her, and he began to wish that she had awaken beside him every morning, which would allow him the opportunity to express how much he loved and missed her over the years, but his morning visits would have to do for now. He did decide that beginning the following week, he would come in earlier and possibly get the opportunity to sit and talk with her. He was hoping that doing this would help her to stop being so nervous, even though she tried not to show it, and eventually maybe she would want to talk about what happened.  
  
On Friday, when he came in, Sean went about his normal routine, he asked Charlotte for his messages and started for Elana's opened door, but this time Charlotte stopped him.  
  
"She's in your office waiting for you." Charlotte said giving him a suspicious look.  
  
"Thanks Charlotte." He said with a smile forming on his face from thinking that Elana was finally ready for their talk.  
  
Sean enthusiastically walked into the doorway and found Elana standing with her arms crossed in front of her and looking out of his window as if she had something heavy on her mind. She did not notice when Sean came in, and he was glad because he loved watching her when she did not know it. Today she wore navy blue slacks and a cream-colored silk blouse that had a wide-open collar. Her hair was pulled up as always except today there was a single wavy strand that fell down the front right side of her face. He loved the way she looked in slacks because unlike the skirts she had worn all week, the pants gave him a better view of her almost perfect body. He remembered that she wore a size six in college and doubted if she was any bigger now. As he watched her briefly, he bit his bottom lip and an "Umph" escaped his mouth causing Elana to turn around. Sean jumped and started to walk into his office closing the door behind him as he cleared his throat trying to play off what he said.  
  
"This is a great view." Elana uttered as she turned back around to hide the smile on her face from what she heard Sean say. She had found that he liked watching her when she wasn't looking and she enjoyed him doing it.   
  
"Yea, it wa -- is." Sean said catching himself. He sat his case on top of the desk and walked around the left side of it to stand beside her in front of the window, where they both stood for a few seconds and just looked out the window, contemplating who would speak first. Finally Sean broke the silence "What's on your mind?"  
  
"Oh nothing. I was just admiring the New York skyline." Elana could not tell him that she was thinking about him and wondering what he did in the mornings before coming to work.  
  
"Do you see that building all the way out over the horizon of buildings with a blue top on it." He said trying to describe it to her.  
  
"No, which one? What's it close to?" She asked trying to look in the direction that he was pointing to.  
  
"It's over here." He gently put his hand on her right hip and moved her over to the left closer to him. "You can see it past the World Trade Center and slightly to the right about seven or eight buildings over..." He was pointing with one hand and still resting his fingers on her hip with the other.  
  
"No, I still can't see it." Elana said, enjoying his touch.  
  
Seeing this as a sign to get as close as possible to her, Sean now placed his other hand on her hip and gently pulled her closer to stand directly in front of him, then he leaned over her shoulder, pointed with his right hand and spoke softly...  
  
"Right there Elana. Do you see it now?"  
  
Elana remembered how it felt to be near him like this and for that moment she did not want it to end, so she did not try to get away from him. "Yes, I do see it now. What is it?" She asked trying to make her words sound normal, but instead they came out in a low-toned whisper.  
  
Sean answered her in the same soft tone, but this time he lowered his head a little more to the point that when he spoke to her, she could feel his warm breath on the right side of her face. "That's where I live. Maybe one day you can come visit me and tell me what you think of it."  
  
All of a sudden Elana felt Sean begin to move his hands around her small waist and lower his head toward her neck and she realized what he was going to do. 'What was she doing!' She quickly thought, so before he could fully embrace her and place his lips on her neck, she turned to the right and slowly walked away from him toward the edge of his desk. "I guess you could get Sheridan to do that for you." She said turning around to face him and now embarrassed that she had not moved sooner.  
  
Sean would not give up so he walked toward her and used his forefinger to move the dangling strand of hair out of her eye as he replied. "Maybe I want a second opinion." He said in a more serious tone as he stared directly into her eyes.  
  
Turning her head to face the window Elana asked in an emotional voice, "Sean why do you keep doing this?"  
  
Sean moved in closer to her and again rested his hands on her hips. "Isn't it obvious Elana that just like before I can't keep my hands off of you whenever we're near each other. So if you plan to sue me for sexual harassment, I'll understand, but I'll plead insanity because you have definitely been driving me crazy this past week."  
  
Elana moved his hands away from her and stepped back. "Sean, don't play around with me."  
  
Sean leaned back against his desk and folded his arms in front of him. He was annoyed that she wouldn't admit to the obvious attraction between them. "Who's playing around, Elana? It's definitely not me. But I could accuse you of doing that!"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"What am I talking about? Well it's more than obvious that we're still attracted to each other if nothing else, but instead of coming to me so that we can settle what happened between us, you choose to go frumping around with James Payton. When that game is over I'll still be here waiting to hear your explanation of why you wrote me off nine years ago, because the reason you gave then doesn't add up today."  
  
Now the whole situation was getting to be too much for her. Sean had been subtly trying to break her resolve all week and even though she had done her best to not let him know how he was affecting her, she now couldn't pretend in front of him, so with light tears in her eyes she spoke. "Sean. I can't talk about this now. I just can't."  
  
Sean stood erect as he responded to her statement. "Well when Elana? When are we going talk about this? I hope you don't think you are going to be sashaying around here for eight months and try to avoid the subject?"  
  
"What do you mean sashaying around?"  
  
Sean was angry. He was angry at Elana for distancing herself from him the whole week and pretending that they never meant anything to each other so his words came out loud and without thought. "You know what the hell I'm talking about! You come in here to help the company and on the first day you're making moves on my employees, meeting with James privately in your office when you have no reason to be talking to him in this stage of your analysis and going out for extravagant lunches and fancy dinners with him!"  
  
Elana was getting angrier by the second and clenched her fists beside her as she asked loudly, "What are you implying, Sean?"   
  
Sean continued his angry outburst. "I'm not implying anything Elana! I'm flat out saying that you're doing everything you can to avoid me and that includes entertaining my employees! Before this thing is over you may go through my whole damned executive staff! I'm sure you know that most of them are lined up outside of James' office waiting their turn with you!"  
  
Suddenly, Elana's reflexes took over and before she knew it she had smacked him as hard as she could across the side of his face. She was shocked at Sean's insinuations and it reminded her of the same accusations his father had laid on her years earlier, but after her reaction there was a brief silence between them as Sean held his face from the shock of her slap. Realizing what she had done Elana now felt sorry and moved closer to console him.  
  
"Oh God, Sean are you alright. I didn't mean ...."  
  
Before she could finish, Sean grabbed her effortlessly by her waist with both hands and pressed her lower body into his as he kidnapped her lips with his own. His enraged kiss was torrid, but purposeful and meant to shock her as much as her slap had shocked him. As she fervently tried to break free from him, Sean just held her tighter refusing to release her body or her lips, and forcing her to feel the power she had over his masculinity. He was determined to not let her go, until he achieved what he sought in his attack and after several seconds his goal was achieved. Elana's resistance faded, and she instinctively put her arms around his neck and kissed him just as vigorously as he was doing to her. Initially, they both lost themselves in their heated embrace, but just as soon as it began, Sean pulled back leaving her stunned from his sudden retreat.  
  
Releasing her from his strong grip, he moved back, took a deep breath and spoke. "Now that we both know what's really going on here, it's obvious that neither of us can avoid the unfinished business between us Elana too much longer, so I suggest you take care of whatever you need to, so that we can have that talk."  
  
"Damn you!!!" Elana shouted wiping her mouth off with her hand and still trying to catch her breath. Elana was furious at everybody at that moment; furious at Sean for forcing himself on her, furious at Sheridan and James for standing in their way; furious at their fathers for trying to keep them apart and most of all she was furious at herself for falling into Sean's trap.   
  
Sean hadn't wanted to let her go, but he knew if he didn't stop at the moment they mutually reacted positively to each other that he would not have stopped, and he would have had her right then and there while she was willing, but he did not want that. He wanted her to admit that she still loved him and he wanted her to come to him because when she did he would not let her get away from him ever again.  
  
Trying to be demure and not let Elana know that her kiss had made him almost faint. He tried to change the subject. "Now we can go over those schedules that you came in here to discuss." He said.  
  
"You can go over them yourself!" She shouted as she quickly headed to the door opened it and slammed it behind her, leaving Sean alone to wallow in his accomplishment. She said nothing as she passed Charlotte, but went straight through her own door and slammed it as hard as she could also.   
  
Sean sat down on the edge of his desk and took out a handkerchief to wipe the lipstick off of his mouth and recover from the boiling passion which Elana's response had ignited in him. A few seconds later there was a knock at his door.  
  
"Come in!" He shouted.  
  
Charlotte slowly opened the door and stuck her head in. "Uh, Is everything alright here?"  
  
"Yeah Charlotte. What do you want?" Sean said putting the handkerchief back in his pocket and rubbing his cheek.  
  
Charlotte opened the door wider and stepped in. "I was just worried about the commotion. You guys were making a lot of noise and a few of the employees wanted to know what was going on."  
  
Sean turned and walked around his desk to his chair and sat down as he said..."Well everybody said she was a tough one to deal with. I guess those female executives are a little more moody than the male ones, huh?"  
  
"If you ask me she's a black person who thinks too much of herself. She's always walking around here like she's better than everybody else is. She never says more than two words to me. If I were you I'd get rid of her and deal with a white company. These black people can be so unpredictable. You never know what they'll do and I'd hate to see you go down the tubes because of someone like her..."  
  
"Well, I didn't ask you Charlotte and I certainly don't need your business advice. You can go back to your desk now. Everything is fine."  
  
Charlotte left, but couldn't help remember how red the side of Sean's face was. She thought she had heard someone get slapped, but couldn't quite make it out. She wondered why Elana would hit Sean so hard as to leave a bruise and concluded after seeing him wiping his mouth that he had tried to make a pass at Ms. Powers, who evidently refused him. Charlotte could not imagine her boss doing such a thing because he had never made one move on her, and even when Sheridan came to visit they never even kissed each other hello. So her first impression was to rule that possibility out, especially since Elana was black and surely her handsome boss would have nothing to do with a black woman, but there was no way to get around what she saw and it all added up to the same conclusion: Sean had tried to kiss Elana and she slapped him then stormed out of the office.  
  
Charlotte did not know what this said about her boss. She had always viewed him as a little too unemotional and detached and had suspected him of being a closet homosexual seeing how he reacted with his girlfriend and never reacted to her, but now she was confused. What she wanted to figure out was how could she use this new knowledge to get him to notice her. She decided she would have to think about it a little more.  
  
Meanwhile Elana went into her office and sat down at her desk. She put her head down and sobbed quietly. Sean had finally made her react and she never wanted him to know that she still had any feelings for him. Now she could not turn back and they would have to discuss what happened even sooner than she had anticipated. She thought to herself how could she have let her guard down? All of these years she had been able to resist men's advances and now with just the slightest touch or the briefest look, Sean could send such a flood of emotions rushing throughout her body that her trained mind could not even begin to control them. She did not know what she was going to do now and began to wish that she could just leave the whole project, but contracts had been signed and she had promised to do a job. Her only solution was to continue her work on the organization and to resolve the 'unfinished business' between her and Sean. As she sat there she began to contemplate when she would meet with him and what she would say.  
  
At the end of the day, the office cleared out early because it was Friday and eventually Sean decided to leave also. He had received a phone call earlier in the week from his African-American, college roommate and close friend Samuel Justice, who was an entertainment lawyer in Orange County, New Jersey. Sam had asked Sean to come and have dinner with him and his German wife, Nicollette, to celebrate the birth of their third child. Sean looked forward to getting out of town especially after what had happened earlier that day between him and Elana. On his way to the elevators, he noticed that Elana was still in her office. So he walked toward her door, thinking that he should apologize to her for what he had said, which sparked their argument, but he had no intentions of apologizing for kissing her because he could tell she had wanted it just as much as he did. As he approached her door he heard her talking to James...  
  
"So why can't you go out tonight Elana, I already bought these tickets and they cost me a fortune and besides I was looking forward to spending some time with you away from work." James pleaded.  
  
"I told you that I just don't feel like it James. I'm tired and I have a lot on my mind. I'm not in the mood to be around a lot of people tonight." She said as she slowly paced in front of him.  
  
"Well we could just go to my place and cool out." James moved nearer to her and stopped her pacing as he rubbed the side of her face and tried to persuade her. "I have a huge Jacuzzi that you can relax in, and I may even be able to help you in other ways to get some of what's bothering you off your mind."  
  
Moving away from his touch, Elana continued to try and get out of their scheduled date. "Look James, I keep telling you that I will not be hopping into bed with you any time soon and the truth is, I don't want to be bothered with YOU or anybody else!"  
  
"Elana I don't know what's gotten into you all of a sudden, but I can assure you that I will be the perfect gentleman..."  
  
Listening to James grovel made Sean sick to his stomach, he suddenly felt a need to intervene, so he walked into the doorway and addressed James.  
  
"Begging doesn't become you James. Why don't you give the lady a break and leave her alone."  
  
Turning around to face Sean James replied, "Sean, this is none of your business and what are you doing listening to our conversation anyway? This is between Elana and me, so would you kindly leave us alone."  
  
"I couldn't help but overhear you and besides she's told you more than twice that she doesn't want to be bothered, so I think it's best that we both leave her alone."  
  
"Who are you to come in here interrupting our private conversation and demanding that I leave?"   
  
Sean and James went back and forth for a few minutes and then finally Elana, frustrated with both of them, shouted...  
  
"GET OUT!!! GET OUT BOTH OF YOU!!! JUST LEAVE, NOW!!!'  
  
Sean and James stood there looking at her and then they looked at each other with disdain. James was the first to relent so he turned to leave. Brushing past Sean he said, "Thanks a lot buddy!" Sean watched him storm out of the office and to the elevators where he got on and disappeared. Then Sean turned back to Elana, who was visibly upset and confused. He had never seen her like this and he doubted if she had any of these moments in the past few years. So feeling that he was the ultimate cause of her condition, he tried to make up for it by showing some concern for her.  
  
"Are you going to be ok?"  
  
"Yes, Sean. I'm fine."  
  
"You don't look, fine. In fact you look like you've just been really affected by something and you don't know what to do about it." Sean stood there in the doorway and waited for her to engage him, but she said nothing. He noticed the small cup on her desk that was usually filled with lollipops now had only two left and he smiled to himself remembering why she always sought some solace in those things. After a minute or so of him standing in the doorway and Elana ignoring him Sean spoke again.  
  
"Can I walk you to your car?"  
  
Elana gave him an evil look and turned around to walk back to her desk then sat down to gather her paperwork and place it in her attaché case.  
  
After waiting a few seconds for her to respond Sean asked, "Sooo, should I take your silence to mean yes you want me to walk you to your car or that you just aren't talking to me?"  
  
"You never give up do you?" Elana said, stopping what she was doing and looking up at him.  
  
"After this morning. No I won't." He said without so much as blinking as he looked directly at her and maintained his place inside her door.  
  
Elana sighed knowing that she was defeated and that whatever she said Sean would turn it into a conversation about their past, so she elected to say nothing. She closed her case and picked up her navy blue jacket from her chair and put it on. Then she picked up her case and walked out her door past Sean who closed the door behind him and followed her to the elevator. While they waited Elana reached in her case for her dark sunglasses and put them on. When the elevator stopped Sean allowed Elana to get on first and he went in behind her. The elevator was empty as the two of them stood in the back on either side in silence. Sean watched Elana, as she stood in the corner staring at nothing in particular in front of her.  
  
The kiss they shared earlier that day was now etched in his mind just as vividly as the last night he had seen her years ago and he felt an overwhelming feeling inside him as he realized that she still had strong feelings for him. As the floors descended, Sean knew that just as they were getting closer to the bottom floor, they were also getting closer to one another and now all he had to do was to take care of business with Sheridan and then nothing would stand in his way of pursuing Elana. He knew it wouldn't be long before he and Elana would rekindle their love for each other, which had obviously never died but had only been smoldering under years of misunderstanding. He did not care what his father would think about him and Elana being together. Sean surmised that his father would just have to accept it or else risk loosing him because he knew what it was like to live without real love and he did not like it. Hearing all of grandpa's stories about how much his great, great grandparents loved each other made him feel that he deserved the same type of happiness of which he knew now he could only have with Elana.  
  
The elevator bell rang signaling their arrival in the parking area. The doors opened and again Sean let Elana go out first and he followed her. Elana was just looking forward to getting into her car and going home. She would have the entire weekend to recover and rethink this whole situation. She wished that Sean was not following her, but she dared not say anything for fear that he would start talking about what happened earlier, which was something she did not want to get into. He had practically insulted her professionalism and she resented him for not apologizing because she knew he had said it in frustration. It was obvious that he still wanted her despite having a long-term 'girlfriend'. Elana thought about the things that Gail had said and now she knew her friend was right all along. The question now was what would she do about it? When they reached their cars that were parked beside each other, they unlocked their doors and before Sean sat down he turned around and addressed her...  
  
"Elana?"  
  
"Yes?" She said as she stopped and looked at him through her sunglasses.  
  
Sean slowly walked around her car to where she stood and said, "Um -- I'm sorry about what I said. I really didn't mean it. You've always been a good person and I couldn't imagine you every doing anything like I accused you of this morning."  
  
"I know you didn't mean it Sean, and thank you for the apology. I really appreciate it."  
  
Sean smiled at her and turned around to go back to his car, but before he got in she stopped him when she called his name. "Sean,"  
  
He turned around. "Yes, Elana."  
  
Taking off her sunglasses she looked up to speak to him. "Is that all you're sorry for?"  
  
He thought for a second and realized that she was referring to his forceful kiss, which had told him that she still had feelings for him, so he answered her "Yeah, that's all I'm sorry for. Nothing else." With that he got into his car and started up the engine.   
  
Elana knew exactly what he meant, and knew she shouldn't pursue it, so she put her sunglasses back on and got into her car then they both exited the garage and went their separate ways.  



	21. COLLEGE BUDDIES

  
Part 21: COLLEGE BUDDIES  
  
  
Sean drove up to his friend Sam's house at about 7:30pm. He had not been there in almost two years because Sam's wife and Sheridan did not get along, so they stopped going as a couple and Sean had not been able to visit on his own until now. On his way, Sean had stopped at the shopping mall to buy a present for Sam and Niki's new baby. After he knocked on the door, he waited a few seconds and Sam opened the door...  
  
"Sean!!!" He gave his buddy a big hug and happily escorted him into his home. "Come on in man. It's so great to see you. Niki! Niki! Sean is here!" Sam was a tall, dark-skinned man with large deep black eyes. He was built like a football player, but he was as gentle as a teddy bear.  
  
Nicollette Justice came through the foyer wiping her hands on her apron. When she saw Sean she went to him and they hugged, then they all made their way into the large living room. Nicollette was an attractive German woman. She had long, thick wavy red hair and an olive complexion to match her gray eyes. She was a big boned woman and complimented her husband well. She was especially friendly to those she liked, but to those she did not she showed no mercy. Sheridan was one of the ladder and when Sean came in she commented on his not bringing her. "I see you didn't bring money bags with you."  
  
"No, I didn't. I didn't want you two to get into it like you did last time. Sam and I almost had to break up a fight."  
  
"Well, if I hadn't been pregnant you would have, but let's not talk about that woman. I know she's your girlfriend and all so I pity you, but you're still our friend. Come on into the kitchen and I'll get you something to snack on while Sam is bragging to you over his new son."  
  
Sam and Niki took Sean into the kitchen and afterwards, Sam took Sean upstairs to see his six-month old son. When they got upstairs, and went into the baby room they went over to the crib of a sleeping Sam Jr. He was a big baby with a lot of curly light, sandy, red hair.  
  
Sean admired the baby and briefly thought about whether he and Elana's children would have looked like little Sam. "Wow, Sam he's cute. What color are his eyes?"  
  
"They're jet black. You couldn't see a pupil if you had a flashlight on him." Sam said, picking the little three-month old baby up out of the crib.  
  
"He sure is big. Is that how big they usually are at this age?"  
  
"No, he's just a big boy. When he was born he weighed 11 pounds and 6 ounces. Niki said we couldn't have any more because the next one would probably be 15 pounds. Julie was 9 pounds when she was born, and Rosalee was 11 pounds."  
  
"Wow! I almost forgot about your daughters. How old are they now?"  
  
"Julie will be 5 next month, she's just as opinionated as her mother and Rosalee is eighteen months. I can see my future now with two of them speaking their mind all over the house. I already have to be careful who I bring here because Niki can get pretty raunchy if you get on her bad side."  
  
"Yeah I know" Sean said remembering the incident with her and Sheridan two years earlier.  
  
"Come on let's go downstairs and have some dinner. I know you must be hungry?" Sam said as he headed toward the door with the baby in his arms.  
  
"Yeah I am. Are you taking him downstairs? He's still sleep isn't he?"  
  
"Yeah, he'll be awake in a minute. Here you hold him and then I can tell Niki that you woke him up because you didn't know any better." Sean took the baby, not quite knowing what to do with him, but he managed as they made their way downstairs.  
  
The two men walked down the stairs while they talked and shared old memories together. When they got there, they went into the kitchen where Niki was finishing up dinner. Sam went over and hugged his wife around her waist while she was stirring something in a pot. He was trying to sweeten her up before she saw that the baby had been awakened. After a few seconds of him whispering in her ear Sean watched as she giggled at her husband and hit him with the wash rag that was on the counter next to her. Sean envied them. Sam and Nicollette had met when Sam and Sean were in their last year of graduate school. At first they were wary of each other even though they both knew there was a strong attraction between them. Eventually, after Sam graduated they dated for a long while and they were married two years later.  
  
When Nicollette turned around she saw Sean standing there looking at little Sam who was now wide awake and looking back at Sean through his big black eyes, wondering who this man was holding him. As Niki walked to her cupboard to get the dishes for dinner, the sight of the two was so cute that she had to laugh.  
  
"I see you two are getting acquainted. That looks good on you Sean." Niki said as she went to the drawer to get the silverware. "I think he likes you too because he usually won't let anybody but Sam or me hold him more than a few seconds before he starts yelling his head off."  
  
"Yeah, he's a cute little thing." Sean said holding the baby away from him after he had drooled on his Brooks Brothers suit.  
  
After putting the dishes down on the kitchen table, Niki picked up a blanket off the back of the kitchen chair and put it over Sean's shoulder. "There you go. Now he won't mess up that nice suit you have on."  
  
When she finished setting the table, Niki also set up the baby seat in one of the kitchen chairs and took the baby from Sean to sit him down. Sam said a prayer over the food and they began to eat and talk. Sam tried to rub the wild hairs in the top of his son's head down as he spoke to Sean. "So when will you and Sheridan be getting married so that you can have one of these little fellows Sean? You're getting up there man. You shouldn't wait too late you don't wanna be too old to run around and keep up with your kids."  
  
Niki chimed in after Sam said that, "Oh no! I hope you and that woman won't be having any kids. I can see her now trying to mold them into the perfect children. They'll definitely end up with a complex having her as a mother" She said.  
  
"Well, you may not have to worry about that Niki." Sean offered  
  
Sam and Niki both looked at Sean in confusion.  
  
"I guess I should share something with you two." Sean added.  
  
"What's that?" Sam asked.  
  
"I know Sheridan and I have been together for a while, but things haven't been working out for us, so I plan on calling things off with her this week."  
  
"OH, THERE IS A GOD TO SAVE THE UNWARY!" Niki said as she looked up to the ceiling. Then she started up about what a great decision Sean was making. Sam tried to be a little more sympathetic.  
  
"Don't act so happy baby. This is gonna be a sad time for Sean, because he's been with her for a long time and he had to have some pretty deep feelings for her." Sam said.  
  
Sean felt compelled to correct his friend. "Actually that's the problem Sam, I don't have any deep feelings for her. I never did and to tell the truth I really don't even like her."  
  
"I knew it!!! I knew it!!! Didn't I tell you Sam that the wench was probably forcing herself on Sean." Niki said and then she turned her attention to Sean. "I could tell that she was not the one for you Sean. She's just too up on herself and you are such a sweet man. It looked as if she was just running all over you and you were just letting her. If you asked me, you seemed to be tolerating her even when you both first got together. You need somebody who can really love you and she loved herself and her possessions too much. You know she would bleed you financially dry."  
  
"I guess you're right, but it really doesn't matter anymore because I have seen the light and I'm not going to waste anymore of her time or mine on this relationship."  
  
"Good for you." Niki said as she patted his hand.  
  
"So you're gonna be on the single circuit again, my man. I know a few young single ladies that would be happy to meet you. Maybe we can invite some of them over, one at a time of course, and you can get to know them."  
  
"No thanks, Sam. I already have somebody in mind." Sean said grinning as he ate what was on his plate.  
  
Sam looked at his friend suspiciously. "Now is this somebody the reason you'll be calling it quits with Sheridan?" Sam asked.  
  
"Who cares. Any reason is a good reason to get rid of that woman." Niki responded.  
  
"Niki!"  
  
"What? I'm just telling the truth!"  
  
Answering Sam's question, Sean interjected. "No she doesn't. I should have broken it off with Sheridan a long time ago. We never should have happened, but I have met someone that I know will be in my life hopefully forever."  
  
"Now the only woman I ever heard you say that about was that girl...uh I can't think of her name... Elana, yeah she was the one who we were flying all over the U.S. to see every chance you got when we were in college. So this woman must be pretty special for you to say something like that. Who is she?""  
  
"It's the same woman Sam. It's Elana Powers."  
  
"What? Are you serious? How did you find her?" Sam asked excitedly.  
  
"I didn't. She found me. Her company is doing the redevelopment of Crealite."  
  
"Really? She's got her own company now? She must be doing pretty well.  
  
"Yeah, she is." Sean added  
  
"Well, that's great! So tell me...did she finally let you get into her pants?"  
  
"Sam! Why would you ask him something like that?" Niki said punching her husband on his shoulder.   
  
"Because hon, you didn't go through what I went through with Sean and this girl. They were dating for four or five years, but they never got together and Sean swore he was gonna marry her. Then one day she just jetted and Sean couldn't find her."  
  
"Well why did she run off. What did you do to her Sean?" Niki asked curious about this woman from Sean's past. She had always hoped that her husband's friend would meet someone he could really love and then their little circle of friendship would be complete.  
  
"I didn't do anything except be too white and she said in her letter she couldn't handle an interracial relationship."  
  
"Wow, now this is getting more and more interesting by the minute. So is she black or Oriental?" Niki asked.  
  
"She's black."  
  
"Really? Well looks like Sean is gonna join the interracial circuit. That's great you'll have to bring her over for dinner sometime. I can't wait to meet her. What's she like?"  
  
Sean stopped eating and sat back as he contemplated what type of person he remembered Elana as being and he happily retorted everything he thought she was. "She's wonderful. She's compassionate, loving and kind. She's thoughtful, humble and mild. She's generous and..."  
  
"Yeah Sean and don't forget she's a knockout." Sam said. He then told his wife about when he and Sean shared a room in college. I still don't see what she saw in him, but she certainly had his head spinning so fast in college that I wasn't sure he was gonna be able to make it through his classes sometimes. I remember before he told me about her, he would just kinda mope around the campus and I thought he was just some crazy white boy, but it turned out that he had love troubles." They all laughed as Sam continued to relay when Sean told him about Elana after returning from their first Spring Break in their freshman year...  
  
Harvard University Dorm Room  
1985  
  
Sean's outward display of remorse was all too evident to his roommate, Samuel Justice. Sam had noticed his friend go from somber before Spring Break to down right pitiful. He tried whatever he could to cheer him up, but nothing seemed to work. Finally one day when he had come back from tennis practice he found Sean laying on his bed reading one of his Black Enterprise magazines, so he decided to ask him about it....  
  
"Hey, man what's wrong with you?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Sean asked quietly not looking up from the magazine he was reading.  
  
"Well, when we first got here you weren't too personable, then you became even more distant from everybody and now since you've come home from Spring Break you just seem miserable and I can't understand it. You've got all this money, you're getting the best education in the world, you got beautiful girls calling me all the time to set them up with you, but you just sit up in this room and do whatever it is you do. So I want to know what's wrong with you. Are you gay? Are you sick or something? Are you depressed? What is it?"   
  
Sean thought for a second and realized that Sam was showing some concern, so he decided to share his feelings with him hoping he would understand because so far no one else did. He turned the magazine to the page he wanted and dropped it on the end of the bed for Sam to see. "You know this man?"  
  
Sam picked up the magazine and scanned the article entitled 'The Power Behind Real Estate'. "Yeah, I remember this guy from a few years ago. Didn't he donate a lot of money to some DA who was running for a political office?"  
  
Sean was looking through his wallet and then he found the picture of Elana. "Yeah, he's from Connecticut." Sean put the picture at the end of the bed for Sam to pick up. "And this is his daughter."  
  
Sam picked up the picture "Umm Umph. She is too fine! Do you know her? What's her name? Does she have a boyfriend?" Sam asked not even imagining that she was the reason for Sean's sadness.  
  
"Her name is Elana, she's my --- my friend." Sean hesitated not really knowing if he wanted to reveal the extent of their relationship.  
  
"Does she need any more friends. 'Cause I would sure like..."   
  
Knowing where Sam was going with his comment, Sean snatched the picture out of his hand. "Watch your mouth Sam, she's --- um."  
  
"She's what Sean? Is she a Lesbian? Is she Married? What?" Sam studied Sean's reaction and then it all came together "Oooooh, I see. She's your girl?"  
  
Sean looked up at Sam and nodded his head. "Yeah, man. She's my girl."  
  
"Well, well, well, I never would've thought Mr. Sean Logan messed around with black women." Sam said as he strutted around the foot of the bed and now looked at Sean in a new perspective. "I took you for the skinny, blond, blue-eyed type. Well ain't nothin wrong with that man because I've been eyeing this German girl, who lives across town, myself. But enough about me. It seems that you're pretty serious about this girl. You got it bad for her huh?" Sam asked, now curious about how close his Logan friend was to the beautiful young black girl in the photograph.  
  
"I got it real bad man." Sean said putting his knees up and wrapping his arms around them.  
  
"She must have whipped it on you during Spring Break and now you're missing it, right?" Sam sat down at the edge of the bed hoping to get an earful of how his friend liked making love to a black woman.  
  
"Yeah, I'm definitely missing it." Sean answered, not wanting to divulge too much information but enjoying having someone to talk to about it.  
  
"She looks kind of young in that picture. How old is she?" Sam asked  
  
"She's 17. She'll be 18 in October."  
  
"Well, just be glad that you guys are away from each other now because you could get indicted for statutory rape."  
  
"Yeah, but that won't be a problem because her dad is doing everything to keep us apart. She got accepted to Harvard, but he's making her go to Spellman in Georgia because he found out that I would be here. She would have been here this September."  
  
"Can you blame him with a daughter looking like that and some white guy chasing after her. But still that's too bad my man. The sad thing is that when she goes to college this year in Georgia, you can forget about her, because looking like that, you can best 'bout believe the brothah's will be all up on her." Sam continued to expound on the ideals of college relationships and at that moment Sean realized that he'd never thought about Elana being exposed to so many young college men once she left home. Now he felt a tightening in his chest and he almost could not breath with the thought of someone else touching her like he had just a few weeks ago during his Spring Break.   
  
Sam noticed the redness in his friend's face..."You all right man. Did what I say upset you? You know it's the truth."  
  
"I think it did Sam." Sean answers.  
  
"Well you better get over it because I'm sure your daddy wouldn't be too happy with you dating no black girl, anyway. Now as your best friend and an up and coming African American lawyer, I plead my case to take her off your hands. Just give me her seven digits or should I say eleven..." Sam joked with Sean about it until it was time for them to go to class.  
  
Sean kept what Sam had said mind and languished in the thought of someone else being with Elana. He could not dare let that happen. No one would ever feel about her the way he did, he reasoned, so he decided that when he returned home for the summer he would see Elana and ensure that no one would stake a claim on her when she went to 'be with her people' in Georgia. He would talk to her about their getting married after they both graduated and he would take her to pick out an engagement ring that she would like so that he could buy it for her when he got the money. Knowing their fathers would never consent, Sean rationalized that when he came into his trust fund at 21, they could get married, he'd finish paying for their education, and eventually everybody would have to get over whatever prejudices they had about their relationship. He reasoned that if his father disowned him, he would still be able to get an entry-level executive job upon graduation or even start his own business.  
  
Throughout the rest of their time in college Sean confided in Sam about his relationship with Elana. Whenever they had a time off Sam would hop on a plane to Georgia with Sean to see Elana. This arrangement worked well because Sam had family in Georgia, so if Sean's father asked why he was going to Geaorgia so much Sean would just say that he was going with his roomate to visit his family. Sam actually went to see how much in love this woman was with his friend who was obviously too taken with her. But when he saw them together somehow it was as if he had become invisible, so he usually spent his time with his family and met Sean back at the airport when they departed. Sam recalled when he actually realized how in love his friend was. It was their last time together at the Atlanta Airport, during the summer after their first year of graduate school. Sean was on his way back to Connecticut and Sam was going back home to New Jersey. They would go their separate ways at the Newark airport...  
  
  
1989  
Atlanta Airport  
  
It was 4:45am and Sam was still trying to catch some winks in the uncomfortable airport chair until his and Sean's 5:30am flight boarded. Sean came over and nudged him.  
  
"Wake up man. It's me."  
  
Sam opened his eyes and saw Sean standing over him with Elana on his arm. She was so pretty even that early in the morning Sam thought to himself. Sam had always wished from the time he initially met her that he had found her first because she was just too good looking a woman to be with a white guy, he thought. On that day she wore her thick wavy brown hair in a ponytail leaving two dangling strands to hang down on either side of her face. He big light-brown eyes awakened Sam immediately and he tried to straighten himself up to look presentable to her. She wore a short white tennis skirt and plain white Keds, each of which emphasized her long, muscular, silky brown legs that would send any man's imagination swirling. She also wore a white short sleeved T-shirt that hugged her chest and small waist. Sam thought she had the most sumptuous body he had ever seen, but he always tried to appear unaffected out of respect for Sean.  
  
As Sam continued to cautiously admire Elana Sean spoke up. "I just wanted you to know that I was here. Elana and I will be over by the window watching the planes." Sean said as they looked at each other. Then he smiled at her and said, "And getting our goodbye kisses."  
  
Sam knew exactly what that meant. They would be over in the corner locking lips up to the last possible moment for Sean to get on the plane. "Yeah man, whatever. I'll be here. How you doin' Elana?" He said to her with a half smile on his face. He didn't want to look too happy to see her so as to let Sean know he had a crush on her himself.  
  
"I'm doin' alright Sam, what about you?"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Well now that you guys have said your hellos let me go say my good-byes." Sean said with a grin on his face as he pulled Elana with him to the large scenic window. He took Elana to a spot between the window and a large column and leaned back against it as he wrapped his hands around Elana's small waist while she stood in front of him with her hands around his neck.  
  
"I'm really gonna miss you lollipop. I don't know how I'm gonna make it for the next few months without seeing you." Sean said rubbing his forehead against hers while he massaged her waist.  
  
"Me neither Sean. I can't wait until September. If I can manage it I'm going to try to move up in August. I've already narrowed down my apartment choices."  
  
"Why don't you live on campus?" Sean asked as his massage began to include her rounded hips and he instinctively pressed her hips into his groin causing shock waves to rush through them both.  
  
"Because I like my privacy and most of those sorority women like to be all up in your business and I'm not for that." Elana said softly as she kissed Sean's neck.  
  
Sean became doubly aroused by her gesture and wished they were back at her apartment where he could make a last ditch effort to make love to her. As those thoughts lingered in his mind he took one of his hands and lifted her chin up to him and began to place soft, moist kisses on her lips while he commented on what she had said. "Yeah, me neither especially since I will be the one all up in your business the whole year."  
  
"Oh you will, Mr. Logan?" She said rubbing the nape of his neck as they looked intently at each other.  
  
"Yes, I will." Sean moved back to her lips after he said that and continued as she spoke in between his taunting kisses.  
  
"Well. In that case. ... Make sure.... You're prepared the next time.... Because.... You know. Once you get me worked up. It's almost impossible. To resist you."  
  
Sean stopped his kisses and looked at her. "Is that a promise Ms. Powers."   
  
"I guess you'll just have to see in August or September huh?"  
  
Sean leaned down again to kiss her full, inviting lips as he said... "I guess so." They stood there in their embrace and kissed softly for what seemed forever. Elana wrung her fingers through the back of Sean's hair as he slowly roamed her waist, hips and buttocks with his large hands. Sam would glance over at them every few minutes and sometimes thought that they would end up doing it on the airport floor if the plane did not leave on time. He felt that his friend was not going to last if this woman came to Cambridge to go to graduate school with him. He reasoned that if he had a girl like that, who was intelligent, sweet and beautiful, he would have married her right out of high school and just kept it a secret.  
  
At 5:10am the airline attendant called for everyone to board the plane and Sam got up, picked up his oversized duffel and went to the end of the line to give Sean enough time to finish what he was doing. Looking over at Sean and Elana he knew Sean did not hear the announcement. After a few seconds, a nerdy looking male attendant who was always at the airport when he and Sean were departing came up to Sam...  
  
"Um sir, is that your friend?"  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
"Well could you get him and his, um his..."  
  
"His girlfriend?"  
  
"Um -- yes, could you get them to calm it down a little. They're making a scene."  
  
Sam laughed lightly, "It ain't a scene man unless you're watching it and my friend if you can get him off of her, be my guest, because I'm here to tell you it ain't gonna be easy short of the attendant announcing a final boarding call."  
  
The attendant pursed his lips and walked away not wanted to go over himself and try to stop them. He went back to his post and watched Sean and Elana, who continued their expressions to each other as if they were the only ones in the airport. Noticing that the attendant was watching his friend make out, Sam just laughed it off thinking the guy was probably getting worked up himself from watching them.  
  
After everyone had boarded Sam asked the ticketing attendant to wait while he tried to go get Sean. He slowly walked over to the column...  
  
"Sean!" Sam called his friend, but there was no response "SEAN! Man come on we're the last one's we gotta go."  
  
Sean spoke to Sam in between Elana's kisses. "Ok, did they call for standbys yet?"  
  
"Standbys, man come on!"  
  
"Ok. here I come. Just give me a few more minutes to um..." Sean forgot what he was going to say as he moved his hands up to the sides of Elana's breasts and they both released soft moans in between their kisses.  
  
"Uh, Yeah. Sean we don't have a few minutes. Either you're gonna stay here and you two can go over to the airport hotel or you can get that bag to put in front of you or something and come on!" Sam shuffled his feet and looked back at the ticketing attendant who was watching and waiting patiently while he waited for Sean to finish his good-byes to Elana.  
  
"I love you." Sean said now kissing her more frequently knowing it was time for him to go.  
  
The two continued to give each other short sweet kisses in between their final good-byes.  
  
"I love you too." Elana responded.  
  
"I'll miss you." Sean said  
  
"I'll miss you too."  
  
"I can't wait until August."  
  
"I can't wait either Sean."  
  
Sam became persistent. "COME ON MAN!!! WE GON' MISS OUR PLANE!!!"  
  
"Ok Sam. Here I come." Sean said breathlessly and breaking away from Elana after giving her one final big hug. They parted from each other and Sean pressed his lips on Elana's forehead, then started to walk toward the boarding area with her hand in his. They both had tears forming in their eyes because of having to part from each other. When Sam and Sean gave the attendant their tickets she asked Elana. "Will you be traveling to Newark also this morning, ma'am?"  
  
"No." Elana replied as a tear escaped her watery eyes and fell down her cheek.  
  
"Looks like you should be. The way you two were carrying on in that corner." The attendant said grinning at them both.  
  
Sean and Elana just smiled at each other and Sean wiped her wet cheeks and kissed her fingers then released her and walked toward the flight transport huddle. As he neared the entryway, he turned around and walked backwards to shout one last thing..."I love you Elana!"  
  
Elana returned his confession. "I love you too Sean." She said as she slowly waved good-bye to him and continued to wipe the tears from her face. After he heard her expression, Sean turned around giving himself the heave-ho sign because whenever she told him she loved him, he would get so excited no matter how many times or ways she expressed it to him.  
  
When Sean and Sam got on the plane and sat down, Sam took a deep breath. "Man I gotta cool down just from watching you and Elana make out like that. You guys even had that little nerdy attendant guy about to go all over himself, so I know you must be done for."  
  
"Yeah. I know that's your girl man, but you can't blame any other man for noticing her, especially in that little tennis outfit she had on today. Man! It makes my heart pump just thinking about it. I don't know how you can handle it Sean."  
  
"That was nice wasn't it?" Sean said smiling to himself as he thought about it. "I don't know how I keep my composure sometimes. Whenever I'm near her I just can't keep my hands off of her. It's like I'm a magnet and she's the ultimate attraction."  
  
"Well I can't argue with you on that." Sam said as they smiled at each other. Then Sam asked, "So tell me. Did sheeeeee..."   
  
"Did she what?" Sean asked knowing what Sam was alluding to.  
  
"You know. Did she give it up this time?"  
  
"Oooh Sam, I was soooo close man." Sean said making motions with his hands "I had her primed and ready for me."  
  
"Really? Ah Sean you are one fortunate man to be able to get with a woman like that. So how did you feel getting busy with a black woman? Was it as good as you thought it would be?" Sam asked anticipating Sean would give him all the details.  
  
Sean was a little irritated that Sam thought it was such a big deal for him to be with a black woman, but he ignored it. "I didn't get to find out. I didn't have any rubbers, so it was over when I told her that, but I can't be mad about it. You know too Sam, don't get me wrong but Elana and I love each other's color, but we don't love each other because of our colors, so whenever we do make love to each other, it's not going to be about what it's like to do it somebody of another race. It's gonna be about our wanting to show how much we love each other. Remember that ok."  
  
"Yeah ok Sean. I'm sorry man. It's just that where I come from white men only go after black women for one thing and black men go after white women for the same reason."  
  
"Is that why you're pursuing that German girl?" Sean asked.  
  
Sam paused for a moment to think about what Sean had asked. "I see what you mean Sean. I guess I gotta get those stupid stereotypes outta my head. In the meantime you'd better give that fine woman of yours a ring and marry her when she comes up to Boston because if you don't I'm afraid for you. I don't want to be pulling you off of her every time we have to go to a class."  
  
"I think you have a point my man." Sean said lying back in his seat thinking of Elana.  
  
The two men laughed and continued talking about Sean and Elana's relationship during their flight on the way to Newark.  
  
  
New Jersey  
At the Justice's Home  
  
"Yeah man. That woman had you all messed up. I still don't see how in the world you held up after she told you she wanted to end it between you two. At first I though you were gonna jump out a window or something when you couldn't find her."  
  
"I don't know how I made it either Sam. I really don't. I'm just glad you were there to help me through it. But that's all behind us and now she's back in my life." Sean said optimistically.  
  
"So when can we have her for dinner?" Niki asked.  
  
"I'm working on a small glitch called James Payton and then after I get her to see what type of person he is then the way will be clear for me and I will bring her here to meet my favorite couple."  
  
"Oh, so she's dating someone? Are you sure you wanna take another chance with her. What if she does the same thing she did before?" Sam chided.  
  
"I don't think that'll happen again Sam. I've gotta get her to tell me what happened. I'm sure it was because of pressure from her father or something. But when we do talk about it I know we can get back what we used to have."  
  
"Yeah and first you gotta get Ms. Sheridan out of the way and then you can go and have some real happiness." Niki said.  
  
The rest of the evening the three shared old stories and caught up on what was happening in their lives. Sam was arguing a big case involving an entertainer suing someone for copyright violations and Niki, who was a Finance Broker, talked about her new job at the Dean Whittier Company. They all enjoyed each other's company and Sean decided to come visit his friends more often especially after he and Sheridan broke up. When it was getting late Sean got ready to go home and he bid his friends good night then started his drive back to New York.  
  
As he drove home, he could not help but think of Elana and remembered how much they deeply loved each other. He was convinced that she was feeling the same way especially after the kiss they shared earlier that morning. Sean realized that with every moment he saw her and with every chance he had to touch her; the repressed love he felt for her was slowly edging its way back into his heart. He was determined to ensure that Elana would know that this time around he had no intentions of letting her get away from him again. He decided that he needed to talk to grandpa about how to really woo a woman to the point that she couldn't say no. He thought that maybe grandpa would tell him more about his great, great grandparents, whom grandpa had always said had a matchless love for each other and Sean knew this is what he and Elana also had. He just had to find out what strong force was holding Elana back from him and holding the two of them back from realizing how truly wonderful their love was meant to be.  
  



	22. A WEEKEND AWAY

Part 22: A WEEKEND AWAY  
  
  
It was mid Saturday afternoon and Elana had jogged, showered, gotten dressed, made breakfast and lunch for herself, cleaned her house and was curled up in her love seat formulating the questions that she would ask each employee within the different departments of Crealite starting Monday or Tuesday. She wore a pair of black stretch pants and a long navy blue T-shirt with a picture of Elmo on the front and her hair was in a ponytail.  
  
As Elana contemplated the questions she would ask her thoughts could not help but drift to the kiss that she and Sean had shared the day before. Lightly rubbing her lips with heR forefinger and thinking about it made her see what she had been missing all her life and now she wondered if leaving Sean was actually the best thing for him. She had done it because she loved him so much and did not want to see him ruined, but in doing so, had she ruined both of them in another way. Had she ruined their hearts? It was true that no one had ever been able to reach her emotionally after Sean, and it seemed apparent that the same was true for him. Even though he was dating Sheridan, she had not been fulfilling that need that he and Elana had for each other.  
  
She reasoned that while she used her studies and her business to patch up any emptiness within herself, then maybe Sean had used other women. At first she winced at this, and it pained her to think of him making love to other women. It was especially painful because she knew she had made him wait so long for her as he anticipated the reward of pleasure that they; as two people deeply in love, who had saved themselves only for each other, would share together when they were to be married in about a year before she ended it all. These thoughts also saddened her because she actually wished to some degree that she had let him make love to her. But Elana knew herself and she knew how hard she had worked to keep herself chaste for Sean. When they were in college she reasoned that if she could resist the man she loved and was severely attracted to then when they married it would make their marriage all the more solidified. Sean would never have to worry about her giving into the temptations of another man and she would not have to worry about him in that way either. Now she drifted back to what Gail had always said 'You need to be with the man you've been saving yourself for all these years', she would always say. Even though Elana never consciously kept herself away from men because of Sean, she wondered if self-consciously she had done so. But she thought it really didn't matter anymore. Sean obviously went on and did his thing and she had done the same.  
  
But as the thought passed, she realized that a man would always try to find comfort in sex. She could not blame him for being with others, but she felt that he still had not really made love to anyone because if he had he would not be so intense whenever he was around her. Elana reckoned that he could feel her presence just as she could his. She had to admit that whenever he would come into her office, even if he tried to not make a sound she always knew he was there.  
  
But now, what would she do with all of these feelings. Was he still threatened with being ousted from his family if they got together? 'Maybe things had changed.' She thought. 'Then again maybe they have not.' Elana realized that she had not seen Phillip around even though he is listed as the CEO. 'Where was he? Surely he had to know that she was the one who was revamping the company. Did he remember her? Did he have a hand in selecting her company? If so, maybe he would not be immune to the idea of Sean and her being together now that she was independently successful. Elana sighed and tried to go back to her task. There were just too many questions that needed to be answered and it was just too much flooding in on her. What she needed was a break from it all. As she continued to ponder over these things her doorbell rang.  
  
"Wait a minute. Here I come." Elana shouted as she put her paperwork to the side and rushed to the door.  
  
Looking through her peephole she saw that it was James, so she opened the door.  
  
"Hi?" She said with a surprised look on her face.  
  
"Hi gorgeous. How are you?" He said standing in a pair of twill slacks and a neutral colored dress-shirt, covered by an open cardigan sweater.  
  
"I'm alright. Come on in." She moved back and let James in as she closed the door behind him. "What are you doing here?" She asked.  
  
"I came by to apologize for yesterday afternoon. I was being a little persistent because I've gotten so used to being around you this past week. I didn't want to go the whole weekend with the possibility of not seeing you. I'm just sorry Sean came in. Can you believe that guy? Interrupting us like that. You'd think he was jealous or something. He needs to take care of his own girlfriend if you ask me."  
  
Elana's interest was peaked at the mention of Sheridan and so she decided to use this opportunity to try and get some information about Sean and Sheridan's relationship. "What do you mean?"  
  
"What? About Sean and his girlfriend?"  
  
"Yeah. Come on into the living room and have a seat." As he talked she led him into her spacious living room and he took a seat in a chair after she crunched herself up in her love seat.  
  
"Well, he's dating this high society woman from Connecticut. She's picture perfect and Sean avoids her like the plague. Before they actually started dating, she used to call him every day asking him when he was going to take her out and he never would, but finally one day I guess her persistence paid off and they started dating regularly. If you call once a month regular."  
  
"Well, maybe he's really interested in someone else." Elana said matter-of factly.  
  
"You may be right, but I have never seen Sean with any woman on a consistent basis. A few years back he dated this one woman who seemed to be good for him, but eventually she just disappeared. So most of us have speculated that Sean will be one of those eccentric bachelors as he grows older, then again maybe Sheridan will convince him to marry her eventually. But I'm not here to talk about Sean Logan. I came to see you. I was going to ask you this yesterday, but I just left because it's not a good idea to argue with your boss. If you know what I mean?"  
  
"Yeah, I know." Elana said trying to sound amused.  
  
"I wanted to see what you were doing today and tomorrow."  
  
Picking up the paperwork she was trying to work on, Elana answered him. "I'm just going over my interview schedule for this week."  
  
"Did Sean, put you to the grinding board on that."  
  
"No, I just need to do it. It's part of the project. Remember the meeting everyone had Monday? I explained that this would be the first phase."  
  
"I must let you know that I've been thinking of you and I know that you had been stressed over something all day Friday. In fact I was hoping to be able to help you alleviate some of that stress by taking you to Cape May, NJ with me. I have a house on the beach and I was hoping you could take a break and join me."  
  
"I'm not sure James, as a matter of fact..."  
  
Interrupting her before she could finish James exhorted, "Now before you go turning me down, I was just thinking that maybe we could go down together and enjoy the scenery and relax. I have an indoor pool and steam room, a game room with ping pong, pool and some video games."  
  
"James I don't know about going off to New Jersey with you and spending the night. It just doesn't sound right. What would everyone say at the office?"  
  
"Hay, before you get the wrong idea. I can stay in a hotel, if you prefer and I'll just come around on Sunday morning and we can spend the day together and then come home Sunday night." He reached out and took her hand, which rested on the arm of the love seat and cradled it within his, trying to dispel her apprehensions and grinning from ear to ear he continued "As to my coworkers, I certainly hope they find out you spent the weekend with me. It would definitely help me uphold my reputation as being a lady-killer." He stopped and they looked at each other and a sheepish smile formed on Elana's mouth, then James asked "So, how about it?"  
  
Elana sat silently contemplating James offer which sounded tempting. She hadn't been away in years and she was under a lot of stress. If James were sincere about staying in a hotel, it would give her an opportunity to think and decide what she would tell Sean and how their relationship should continue. New Jersey was only an hour or so a way and she could easily get home if she needed to. "Ok. James I'll go, only if you promise to be a perfect gentleman."  
  
"I promise! Now all you'll need is a change of clothes for tomorrow. A dinner outfit and hopefully a very sexy swimsuit!"  
  
"James!" Elana hit him on his shoulder as he shrieked back and they both laughed.  
  
"I know, I know you said don't touch, but I should still be able to look, right?"  
  
"You're too much James. Now before I go anywhere with you, I'll need the address, phone number and some other info, so that I can give it to my girlfriend in case you decide to kidnap me or something."  
  
James relayed all of the information that Elana asked for and afterwards she called Gail and gave it to her for security purposes. They had always agreed that when they went out with someone new for the first couple of months they would let each other know where they were going in case something happened. Gail only checked in with Elana the first few weeks during graduate school at the University of Pennsylvania, where she met Maxwell Saddom, a young Indian professor who owned his own independent consulting firm that operated throughout the U.S., Germany and India. Gail had fallen head over heels for her professor after attending one of his international business lectures and she vowed to Elana that she would have that man or die trying. It turned out that Max had the same idea about her and they got married a few months after they started dating.   
  
So after that Gail's sole mission was for Elana to reconcile with Sean so that they could marry and be as happy as she was with her own husband. No one except maybe Sam, Sean and Elana herself knew how much Sean and Elana belonged together as much as Gail did, so when Elana called to relay the New Jersey information to her friend, Gail was not too happy with Elana's decision especially since it was not with Sean.  
  
"Gail, I told you that it's just for the night and he's going to stay in a hotel. I need to do this and I don't need you judging me!"  
  
"Girl, I ain't judging you, I'm just tryin' to help you out. That man ain't bit more plannin' on stayin' in no hotel than you plannin' on retiring this week. He probably hopes he'll wine and dine you right into his bedroom. You just got to be careful these days. Some white men think that black women will jump into bed with them just because they're white and James may be one of those, so just watch yourself, girl. I'd hate for him to take advantage of you or anything."  
  
"I know Gail. Thanks for your concern, but I do work with him and he can't afford to do anything stupid. I think it'll be good for me. James is ok. I know he's really interested in me, maybe I need to give myself a chance to get to know him better. He's not all bad."  
  
"Well, you're right about you guys working together, so that makes me feel better, but as far as you giving yourself a chance to get to know him better, you need to give you and Sean another chance to get reacquainted with each other. Sean is the only man for you Elana and you know it. It's just too convenient that you two are together like this after all these years. Love never fails and it's giving you another chance, so you need to be working on that instead of chasing straws with this James fella. But hey, thanks for the info. I want you to call me tomorrow night by 12 o'clock so that I know you're ok. And please don't drink too much. You know you can't handle too much liquor, so be careful."  
  
"I will Gail. Thanks. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Elana hung up the phone; relieved that she had not told Gail about the kiss she and Sean shared Friday. She knew that if she told her friend about that and about her subsequent trip to Cape May with James, that Gail probably would stop talking to her.  
  
Elana changed into crème colored slacks and a crème colored angora sweater, and brown alligator skinned flat shoes then she gathered what she needed for the two-day trip. When she was finished she and James left to go to his home to pick up what he needed and afterwards they drove to Cape May.  
  
The drive was nice. It was a cool August afternoon. James and Elana spent a lot of time talking about New York and the many advantages of living and working there. The final part of the trip Elana was quiet as she watched the scenery and thought about Sean. She had settled on talking to him within the next two weeks. Elana began to dread her meeting with Sheridan on Wednesday. All of this time she had imagined that Sheridan and Sean were actually in love and that for some reason things were not going so well for them, but that they would iron it out. Unfortunately James, Gail and even Sean, were convincing her that they never were in love and that it was actually just a convenient relationship for Sean at least. Elana continued to think that maybe after seeing Sheridan and directing their conversation toward Sean, she would find that Sheridan really does love Sean and wants him to love her just as much. She reasoned to herself that after hearing this she would have the strength to continue to keep her promise to stay away from Sean, so that he could continue his family's legacy without scandal.   
  
James and Elana arrived in Cape May at around 5:30pm and elected to go to a dinner club for food and dancing. They went to James' house to change and afterwards headed for the dinner club. While they waited on the hostess James couldn't keep his eyes off of Elana who had worn an elegant sheer, chiffon, black body-fitting evening gown, with long sleeves. The bodice of the dress was embroidered with sequined circles stitched strategically to hide certain body parts that would have otherwise been exposed through the sheer material. From mid-thigh down to the fringe of the dress the material was simply sheer and ended at a pair of satin heels. Her hair was pulled up and loosely curled in the top allowing several strands to topple down the sides of her face. James was nonetheless pleased with her selection of attire as they entered the dinner club and the men tried to find unconcealed spaces in Elana's sheer dress while the women speculated about where the dress was from.  
  
After they were seated James spoke, "You certainly know how to make an entrance."  
  
"What do you mean James?" Elana was being coy with him knowing that the people were staring because of her.  
  
"You know good and well what I'm talking about. I think the guy two table over is on the verge of a mild heart attack if he looks at you any harder."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"I know because I'm close to one myself."  
  
"I'm glad you like it. My girlfriend designs my dresses. She's a fashion designer in New York. She has a children's clothing line, but she's trying to expand into other areas."  
  
"Well she certainly knows how to get people's attention."  
  
"Yeah, that's what her husband always says about her."  
  
"What does he do?"  
  
"He owns People Resources, Corp."  
  
"Really? That company did some consulting work for Crealite a few months back. They charged us a pretty penny, but they're really good at what they do. Max may be on his way to being in the top 100 richest men next year. You keep some good company I see?"  
  
"Gail and Max are good people."  
  
"I have to say that I never would have thought and Indian woman would design something like what you have on. They seem to be a little more modest."  
  
"Well I think they are, but Gail isn't Indian, she's black."  
  
"Really now? How did she snag an Indian guy with that kind of money? Usually the parents make sure their sons marry a woman from India so that us dirty Americans can't get our hands on their money."  
  
"Like you said Gail knows how to get attention and she put out all the stops to get Max's attention and he was pretty much helpless after she set her sights on him."  
  
"Gail must be as captivating as you are to have that kind of power over a man."  
  
"She is very beautiful, but I think they fell in love after seeing that they were made for each other. They are true compliments to one another."  
  
"She must keep him a very happy man because I remember when he would come in and check on the consultants he had placed in my department, he was always smiling and happy. The consultants said that he never works past 6 o'clock unless it's absolutely necessary."  
  
"Yeah, Gail has established a 7:30 curfew for him when he's in town, if he wants to have her do an Indian mating dance for him with the scarves and everything."  
  
They laughed as Elana revealed some of Gail and Max's less intimate secrets. They ordered more drinks and their dinner then continued to talk.  
  
"What about you Elana?"  
  
"What about me?"  
  
"Do you know how to keep a man happy?"  
  
"I'm sure I can keep any man I truly love happy, if he loves me just as much and is willing to keep me happy."  
  
"Then why aren't you married? I mean, you're young. You're successful. You're brilliant. Why hasn't some man come and snatched you up for himself?"  
  
"Oh, haven't you heard? I'm not very approachable. I'll bite your head off if you get too close to my inner circle and It's impossible to argue with me and win." They laughed lightly because James had heard these things and more about her, but somehow she did not appear now to be that way. Eventually their dinner came and they continued to talk about how Elana had developed the characterization that so many had come to identify her by. After they finished dinner, James ordered more drinks and they talked about their past relationships. James started out and delineated some of the women he had long term relationships with then he handed the conversation over to Elana who was feeling a little more than giddy after working on her third drink.  
  
"Actually I've had a few offers, but they just weren't what I was looking for."  
  
"And what are you looking for?"  
  
Elana pondered briefly over his question and thought about Sean, so she expounded on what she knew he was and on what she wanted him to be to her. "I'd like someone who's serious about life, but willing to take chances. I want someone who doesn't let others define who he is. Someone strong willed and willing to fight for what he believes in. Someone who's willing to love me completely and able to receive that same type of love from me. I need someone who knows everything about me and can handle whatever I put out because sometimes I can be brutal even if I don't mean to be."  
  
James clutched her hand in his and stared at her seriously. "Where do I fill out an application?"  
  
She did not say anything, but returned his stare. As she looked in his brown eyes she wondered if James could bring her any happiness. He certainly made her feel attractive and he seemed to dote on her when they were together, but there was something about him that she just couldn't figure out. A certain distance that she felt he was trying to hide. Then again she thought maybe there was no distance but only his own insecurities about how she would react to him.  
  
"Would you like to dance?"  
  
"Yes, I need to stand up and settle some of this food."  
  
James stood and then went over to help Elana out of her chair. With his hand on the small of her back he led her to the dance floor during a slow dance. Once he found a suitable spot he turned around and held her close to him for the dance. Elana was a little tipsy and indulged herself in the moment. The music was slow and mellow, James had been the perfect gentleman all afternoon and evening, he was handsome and he was very attracted to her. Elana couldn't help but be attracted to him also and for this brief time she did not want to think any further than that. She decided to put her analytical mind to rest for the remainder of the weekend. As he held her close to him they continued to slow dance for several songs and Elana rested her head on James' shoulder and allowed herself to enjoy the smell of his cologne and the feel of his body close to hers.   
  
James thought about the wonderful time he was having with her and the fact that she was so easy to talk to and she did not seem to care about his money. He felt that Elana was the type of woman he could prosper with and not worry about whether she was trying to rob him blind behind his back. She was so honest about her feelings and he enjoyed her taking an interest in him as a person. During his thoughts he noticed that she seemed to be a little more open to him and when she rested her head on his shoulder he put her hand on his chest as he continued to hold it during their dance. He knew that Elana was someone he could really get serious about and he had never felt that way in a long time about a woman. Finally at around 11:00pm and after about an hour on the dance floor James broke their silence. "Are you tired?"  
  
"Yeah, I had a long day."  
  
"Do you want to go back to the table?"  
  
"Yes. Actually I'd like to leave, if you don't mind."  
  
James really was not ready to end their evening together, but he consented not wanting to be persistent and ruin the good time they had. He asked for the check, paid it and he took her back to his beach house. Once they arrived James opened the door and they went in. He showed her around the house because earlier they had been in such a hurry to make their dinner reservations that he could only show her where to change before they had to leave. After the brief tour they sat in the bar area. James poured champagne for them and took the glass over to the couch where Elana was and sat down close to her.  
  
He turned to face her, with his drink in one hand and he put his elbow up on the back of the couch and rested his head in his hand giving Elana his full attention. "You still never told me about the one man you said you would have married. What happened to him?"  
  
Elana had drank a few too many drinks so she opened up somewhat to James.  
  
"We started dating my final year in high school and all through undergraduate school. I was in Georgia and he was in Boston so whenever he would get a break he would fly down and we'd spend time together."  
  
"That seems like a long time to date. Why didn't you get married?"  
  
"His father didn't like me for his son, so it caused complications eventually I cut off the relationship, and changed schools. I was supposed to join him at Harvard, but I switched to the University of Pennsylvania instead hoping that he would come to his senses and come looking for me, but he never did, so I figured that was that and here I am today still looking for Mr. Right."  
  
James put his glass down and placed his hand on the right side of Elana's face to caress her. "Well, maybe you finally found him." Elana went flush as she realized that James was serious. He moved his hand slowly down the side of her face and glided his fingers across her bottom lip and before she knew it James had moved into her and captured her lips with his own. At first his kiss was slow and searching; searching for how far she was going to let this go. All Elana allowed herself to think about was that this man was there with her and he had no misgivings about being with her. She felt that if anyone asked him to leave her alone because of her skin color, he would not give in. She wondered if he was what she needed to get Sean out of her mind, so she fell into his kiss and placed her hand on the back of his neck. James felt this as a sign, gently pushed her head back against the couch and proceeded to deepen their kiss. After a few seconds...  
  
"Maybe it's time for me to go." He said as he continued to kiss her lightly on her lips.  
  
Elana remained silent, and continued to receive his affections. After not getting an answer James did not know what to think. He had no problem with spending the night with her but he knew she had at least four drinks and he did not want to be accused of taking advantage of her later on, especially since she worked at his company and her findings may determine who stays and who goes at Crealite. He also got a sense that she was trying to escape something that he just couldn't put his finger on, but he did not want to be a scapegoat for whatever had been bothering her, so he broke their kiss and looked at her.  
  
"Elana, do you want me to go now?"  
  
She could feel a slight dizziness from all of the spirits she had consumed and she remembered Gail's warnings. She also felt that this was not the time to start acting out of character especially since she was so confused about the things that were going on with her and Sean so she answered him.  
  
"Yeah, you should go James. I've had a little too much to drink and I don't want to ruin this great evening that we've had."  
  
"Oh it wouldn't be ruined if I stayed. I can assure you of that."  
  
"Yes, it would because we would only be acting impulsively. You have to know that I'm not in love with you and I'm not in the habit of sleeping around. So if I did tonight I would just end up hating and resenting you, which would not make for a very good working relationship."  
  
"I guess, you're right Ms. Powers." James said as he stood up and rubbed his fingers through his hair. "So I see I have some work to do to get you to fall in love with me and then maybe we can continue what we started."  
  
They both chuckled at what he said and James went to get his overnight bag and then left for a hotel.  
  
The next morning, he came by and they spent some time in the Jacuzzi then went to breakfast. Afterwards, James showed Elana around Cape May and eventually they went back to New York. At her townhouse, Elana thanked James for his invitation and let him know that she had a wonderful time and that he had given her just what she needed.  
  
Elana was grateful for the trip because after James left the beach house, she had thought long and hard most of the night about what she would tell Sean. She had decided to just tell him that she wanted to see if he really loved her and she wrote the letter to test him and when he never came looking for her she knew that he didn't love her as much as he had claimed. As she mulled over this explanation she reasoned that Sean could not deny that he did not look hard enough to find her and she would still be protecting him from loosing everything he had. She convinced herself that after he realized how strongly she felt about him not looking for her he would stop his intimidation and their connection would end with their discussion of what happened. Also, eventually when she finished her assignment with Crealite she would walk out of the place leaving it and Sean Logan behind forever.  
  



	23. LESSONS TO BE LEARNED

Greenwich, CT  
Logan Home  
  
  
"Grandpa! It's me Sean." He said as he turned the key and walked into his parents home.  
  
Grandpa came around the corner from the kitchen and he and Sean met in the hallway.  
  
"Don't you call when you're coming by, boy? I don't ever know when I'm gonna see you."  
  
"I know I don't get home much. You know, you should come to New York to stay with me sometime grandpa. You could stay as long as you like especially since mom and dad are away. All you have to do is hop on a train and get a cab to my place. I have your name on the roster of those who the management can allow into my apartment. I know you remember how to get on the train grandpa because you used to do it all the time." Sean said.  
  
"I'm too old and tired to be foolin' around with some train and the big city. I'll just wait around here 'till you decide to drop by and pay me a visit."  
  
"I try to come by every weekend to check on you, now that you're alone. You know that. Speaking of mom and dad, when will they be getting back anyway?"  
  
"You don't know what a man's gonna do when he's got a woman pulling his strings. He don't even know what he's doing himself. He said they would be in Switzerland for a month, but I was talking to your mother and it seems she has a notion to go to the Netherlands afterwards. I don't think Phillip knows about that yet, so I'm sure they will be heading that way after this trip."  
  
"Hum, I guess it's good that they're getting away. Dad needs it. He's worked every day for the past 20 years, so that's good. Maybe someday I'll take my own wife on a trip around the world." Sean laughed as he looked through the refrigerator and pulled out some milk and drank it out of the carton.  
  
"If you don't get to working on that, you won't be able to go on a trip around the world because you'll be too old to enjoy it."  
  
"Well, let's just say I'm working on that grandpa and if everything goes as I plan it won't be too long from now before you see some great-grands and I'll be going on that trip before I get too old." Sean said grinnin'.  
  
"What are you talking about boy. You planning on asking that woman to marry you?"  
  
"Oh she's certainly a woman grandpa." Sean said with a peculiar smile on his face as he remembered the kiss he and Elana shared Friday.  
  
"I see you're not talking about that Winthrop girl. Never seen a look like that on your face when you talk about her. You're usually drunk or depressed when you talk about her. Now you're looking like you're about to jump out of your skin or something. Is it the black woman you told me about last weekend?"  
  
"Yep. You better believe it grandpa. Now before you go getting upset about this I just want you to know that, I realize that I still love her and I'm not going to lose her again and if you have anything negative to say about it, you can just keep it to yourself. If you don't want me around just let me know now because this time I'm not letting you, or my dad or her dad or whoever else get between us. So what's it gonna be gramps?"  
  
"Now why would you think I'd try to come between you and some woman. I'm too old to be maneuvering things like that. I will speak my mind though. I'm gonna keep doing that and no one's gonna stop me. Now as to what I say, you can take it or leave it. Doesn't matter to me as long as I know you heard me."  
  
"Ok I can deal with that. So what is your opinion about what I said about getting together with Elana?" Sean asked as he sat at the kitchen table and braced himself for whatever grandpa was about to say.  
  
"I ain't got no opinion." Grandpa said stubbornly walking slowly into the kitchen.  
  
"Now grandpa, all that hootin' and hollering you used to do whenever I mentioned going out with Elana and now you don't have an opinion when I tell you I'm gonna marry her and have children with her. Come on now. You can do better than that."  
  
"I said I don't have no opinion. And that's because I don't now the woman, so I can't give you an opinion on somebody I don't know. Why don't you bring her over to meet me and then after a few visits I'll let you know my opinion."  
  
"Grandpa, you mean you don't have no opinion about me marrying interracially?"  
  
"Naw. You seem to have your mind set on it and I already told you last week what I thought about that, so now that your mind's made up, I'm not interested in changing it. You know what you need to make yourself happy and if this woman is the one to do it then there's nothing I can do to stop you."  
  
Sean was amazed at what grandpa had said and almost couldn't believe it. He was surprised because it seemed that all he had to do was assert his opinion and then grandpa was through with it. He wondered how much of a difference that would have made things if he knew this years ago.  
  
"So, when you bringin' her over here?" grandpa said as he sat down in the kitchen chair next to Sean.  
  
"I'm not sure. First I have to get her away from one of my Vice President's who has taken a fancy to her and then I have to convince her that I can't live without her and maybe then she'll consent to coming here to meet you."  
  
"Why you got to go through all that. You sayin' you're not sure she still has any feelings for you?"  
  
"No, I know she does. It's just that there are a few roadblocks we need to get over before all of this can come together. She's just trying to avoid the subject right now, but she can't run forever."  
  
"So how do you know she still feels for you?"  
  
"Because grandpa, on Friday I kissed her and her response was all I needed. She slapped me and cursed me out, then stormed out of my office, but I knew she felt what I did and was just scared of it for some reason."  
  
"You mean you forced her to kiss you? Umph, that was a wrong move. Let me tell you boy, if you want a woman really bad, you have to use all of the cards in your hand and make her come to you. Then you know that's where she wants to be and that she's not there because you forced her."  
  
"Yeah, I was thinking about that grandpa, so what should I do?"  
  
"Well, let's take the example of your great, great grandfather. He knew my grandmother Marita from the time they were born. They knew everything about each other, so that's one reason they fell in love, but after their fornicating incident, my grandmother began to have second thoughts and she allowed herself to be courted by a color...I mean another gentleman. My grandfather was in anguish, but he decided to use whatever he could at his disposal to get her to come to him and after that they never separated."  
  
"So tell me what happened?"  
  
Grandpa went on to relay how his grandfather won his grandmother back after her apprehensions about their relationship. He was careful to replace any references to color with social standing, indicating that Marita was very poor, not black.  
  
Lexington, Kentucky  
1887  
Logan Home  
  
"Sean, I'm not going to discuss this with you here. Someone may overhear us." Marita said as she opened the ledger book and tried to start her work for the day.  
  
"Marita, I just want to know why you went to the festival with Roger Hampton? Alice told me that you said you have been seeing him quite often for the past few weeks and I need to know why?"  
  
Marita was silent for a while, but she saw that Sean was not going to leave her alone until he got some answers. So she explained as best she could.  
  
"Sean, you know we can never be together and I don't want to be a kept woman. I want a husband who can love me openly and children that I won't have to worry about when they're out playing. I don't want to always wonder if my husband could have been more if I weren't with him..."  
  
Sean interrupted her. "So, are these things that Roger can give you?"  
  
"I believe so. He's a respectable blacksmith, he lives comfortably and he wants a wife and children and he's been asking to call on me for years now, so I finally accepted his calling letter."  
  
"Do you want all of those things with him Marita?" There was a silence as Marita hung her head down. "Well, do you?" Sean asked as he moved in closer to her with tears forming in his eyes.  
  
"No, Sean, I want that with you, but sometimes we can't have what we want. I'm getting older and all the women my age around here are married. If I don't do something soon everyone will be speculating about me and I don't want to bring any shame on my father or on your family because of our association. I love you Sean. I just can't have you the way I want and it's time we both realize that and try to move on with our lives."  
  
Sean looked at her for a moment as he watched tears roll down her face, then he turned and went to the door of his father's office to leave. He opened the door and put his hat on before he turned around and looked at her sitting in front of the desk. "Marita, I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure we are together in the way you want because Roger will never be able to love you anywhere near the way I do and I'm not gonna sit back and let you give yourself to anyone just because you think you have no other choice..." His words trailed off and he turned and left her in the office after closing the door behind him.  
  
After Sean left, Marita put her head down on the desk and cried because she knew that what Sean said about her feeling she had no other choice was true, but she also was saddened by the fact that he probably would find no way for them to be together the way she wanted.  
  
Sean left the house and slowly rode into town as he contemplated what he could do. Kentucky was not a place for white men to be frolicking around with colored women, but Sean knew from his travels that there were indeed many colored and white couples around, at least up North. He decided he would have to do some research to find out exactly what he could do, so as he traveled he prayed to God to help him find a solution and to not take Marita away from him.  
  
When he arrived in town, Sean went to the office and started looking through the marriage records. He was searching for some clues as to interracial couples who may have been married in Kentucky before the anti miscegenation laws were enacted after the war. After searching all afternoon, Sean found nothing, he only saw marriage certificates between same race couples. It was nearly time for the building to close and Sean sat at the table, discouraged and thinking of what else he could do. When he was about to leave he saw a young boy come in and get some paper from the woman who attended the county office. The boy looked to be around 12 or 13 and he was well dressed. What was strange Sean thought was his hair. The boy had green eyes and thin lips, but his skin was a sort of olive color and his hair was thick and wavy, unlike the other white kids Sean had seen. He wondered if he was a colored boy and got up trying to move in and get a closer look at him. Before he could get close enough the boy had taken his instructions and ran out the door with the material the woman had given him. With his hat in his hand Sean went up to the front desk.  
  
"Who was that boy who just came in here, Ms. Fairfield?" Sean asked.  
  
Ms. Fairfield squirmed a little in her seat. "Do you mean Anthony, the little boy who just left?"  
  
"Yes, who is he and what was he doing here?"  
  
"He runs the daily errands for the county records. At the end of the day, I have a list of confidential records request from various citizens and I put them together and they have to be sent to the county clerk for approval. Anthony picks them up and takes them over in the afternoon and delivers the approvals or denial the following afternoon, when he comes for the next batch."  
  
"Who are his parents?"  
  
"His parents? You don't know?"  
  
"No, I don't. Who are they?"  
  
Ms. Fairfield leans in closer to Sean so that he can hear her when she whispers her answer. "He's Mr. Rothchild's son by some colored woman he's been living with for several years. They went to Ohio about 13 years ago and didn't come back for about a year. His father fell ill and the family went up there looking for him, since he was the only son. When they came back, he was with them along with the colored woman and a baby. The baby was Anthony. Everybody knew what was going on, but because he had to handle his father's estate no one really confronted them. They keep to themselves and the children are honest and respectful. They have four kids running around this town. I saw her in the market the other day and it looks like there's another one on the way. It's scandalous, if you ask me. A respectable gentleman taking up with a colored woman, but what can you say. Some men don't have any self-control."  
  
Sean was amazed at the information he had received and decided that he would pay Mr. Rothchild a visit, during the weekend and confirm what Ms. Fairfield had told him. He had known the man as the county clerk for the past ten years, but realized that he knew nothing about his personal life. He would always come to work on time and leave at the end of the day with all of his tasks accomplished. He was sort of to himself, but he wasn't shy. Sean even thought he was part of the Jockey Club, but could not be sure and decided to ask his father about it later. With renewed hope and a desire to see Marita before the end of the day Sean rode back home after he stopped at the market and picked up Marita's favorite flowers.  
  
When he arrived at home he peeked into his father's office and saw Ned talking to Marita about what he would need her to do next week while he was away on business in Richmond, VA. Sean decided to go upstairs and wash up for dinner and wait until Marita and his father had finished their conversation before he would give the flowers to Marita.  
  
Up in his room, after he had washed up, Sean noticed Marita leaving the house out of his window. He hurried and buttoned his shirt then picked up the flowers and ran down the steps. Allison was about to go up the steps when Sean nearly ran her over...  
  
"Hey, watch where you're going! What are you doing with those flowers anyway?" She asked wondering why Sean was in such a hurry."  
  
"Oh, sorry Allison, I just need to get rid of these. They don't match the linens in my room." Sean said smiling. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and bolted out of the door hoping Marita had not gotten too far away. Then finally he caught up with Marita  
  
"Marita. Marita wait!"  
  
Marita turned around, recognizing Sean's voice. "Sean what is it? I was just on my way home to fix supper for pa."  
  
Sean had the flowers behind his back, pretending to scratch. "I know, I just wanted to make sure you got home safely." They continued on the path to Marita's house and talked along the way. Sean gave Marita the flowers and she was happily surprised. He had given her azaleas, which were her favorite. He knew that she liked to situate them inside her window so that they could get some sun and make her room appear bright and more feminine. She usually picked them herself after work, but this night she would not have to.   
  
When they got to her door, Sean lightly kissed her on the lips and turned to go back home. He did not want to come on to strong especially after she had started to avoid bodily contact since their night after the Masquerade Party. He decided that he would get the azaleas for her everyday if he could because he knew it made her happy and he knew that it was something about her that Richard did not know.  
  
That weekend Sean visited Mr. Rothchild at his home. A young colored woman answered the door and led Sean into the study where Mr. Rothchild sat smoking a pipe in one chair and a pregnant colored woman sat in a chair across from him knitting. The woman was very simple looking, but pretty. When Sean entered the room, the man asked him to take a seat.  
  
"How are you Mr. Logan? What brings you to my home on a Saturday? I hope those records we had sent to Clancy's office last week were in order."  
  
"Oh yes, they were Mr. Rothchild, but I'm not here to talk about any files. I actually wanted to --" Sean had a hard time searching for the words but finally he found them. "I came to ask you about your relationship with the young lady here." He said motioning his head in the direction of the woman sitting in the opposite chair.  
  
Mr. Rothchild grew red in the face and affectionately asked Helen, the woman, to give them some privacy. After she left and he felt she was a safe distance away, the man spoke.  
  
"What about my relationship with Helen, Mr. Logan?"  
  
"I wanted to know, if the boy Anthony I saw today at the records office is your son?"  
  
"Yes, he is?"  
  
"Is Helen his mother?"  
  
"Yes, she is. Why do you wan to know?" He said standing up from his chair.  
  
"Oh, please Mr. Rothchild, don't be alarmed. I need to know because...because I was doing some research for a friend, who is in love with a colored girl and wants to be with her, but she won't have anything to do with him because she wants a respectable relationship. I was trying to find out what I--- he could do to be with her."  
  
"So, you're in love with a colored woman, huh? Well let me see...I'm sure it's the Peter's woman. The one you were raised with. Is that right?"  
  
Sean was shocked at Mr. Rothchild's insight and admitted to his question. "Yes, it is."  
  
"So, you wanted to come here and see how I did it without any trouble?"  
  
"I am curious."  
  
"Well, it's not that complicated Sean. Helen and I were in love for a long time when I was younger, but I was constantly pressured by my family to marry since I was an only son and my father was sick. I couldn't bring myself to marry anyone else, because Helen and I had been together for several years. Eventually Helen got pregnant and I had to make a choice between a promising career with prestige and Helen, so I chose her. We went to Ohio and were legally married and I was content on settling there since there was no segregation and we lived in relative peace, which is what she needed while she was carrying Anthony. After about a year my family came and got me because my father was near death. They told me I had to leave Helen and Anthony behind, but I refused and they relented asking me to just keep it quiet and they would not oppose us. So, 13 years later here we are. We don't get invited to social functions, nor are we able to be in public as husband and wife, but we love each other and we've made those sacrifices to be together."  
  
"I see. How does Helen feel about it?"  
  
"Well, we're on our 5th child and I haven't heard any complaints yet. The secret is Sean, that we love each other and we realize the type of world we live in now, so we have given up certain things to be together, but we compensate for it with our love for each other and with our children. On occasion we go up north for a weekend to visit her family and there we can openly be man and wife. If I didn't have this business here, we would move back there, but remaining here allows us to live very comfortably."  
  
Sean was happy that he was able to talk to Mr. Rothchild. After their conversation, Sean stayed and ate dinner with the family and he left encouraged knowing that if Marita saw this scenario then she would be more inclined to their being together. He decided that he would encourage Marita to establish a friendship with Helen and at the same time he would continue to shower her with his affections and he would ask her to marry him right before he had to go to Washington D.C in 3 months. He reasoned that they could quickly go over the Ohio border and get married and then honeymoon in Washington D.C. In the meantime he would have the builders finally start on his house and when he & Marita got back from Washington, they could move into their home together.  
  
Now filled with hope and anticipation Sean rode home formulating his plans as he went.  
  
  
1998  
Logan Home  
  
"So grandpa what happened?"  
  
"Well, my grandfather did just what he had planned. Grandmother soon got friendly with the Rothchild woman and she saw how happy she was despite the sacrifices she had to make. Grandfather would get the azaleas just about everyday for her and he would bring her books that she liked to read. Sometimes, he would special order any new books just for her. He also bought her a beautiful dress that she would wear to county functions."  
  
"So what happened to the Roger guy who was calling on her?"  
  
"Who knows, boy and who cares. His problem was that he gave her things that he thought she would like, but he didn't know nothing about her and besides if she had kept seeing him, then I guess you and me would not be here, would we?"  
  
"No I guess not grandpa." Sean said as he chuckled. "So are you saying that your grandfather did the things that grandmother Marita liked and treasured and then he helped her to see that they could be happy together, even if they had to make some sacrifices and this won her over?"  
  
"Yeah, sounds like you got it boy. I hope you was takin' notes 'cause I ain't gonna tell you again." Grandpa said as he got up to head back to his room.  
  
"You don't have to tell me twice grandpa." Sean got up, threw the milk away. "I know what I can do now. Thanks for the advice." Sean said.  
  
For a better part of the evening Sean stayed in his grandfather's room watching TV with him and remembering all of the intimate details only he knew about Elana and he strategized on how he would win her over just as his great, great grandfather had won his own wife.  
  



	24. UNECESSARY ATTACHMENTS

Monday and Tuesday at Crealite were uneventful. Sean started coming in at 8:30am, which was earlier than he usually did, so that he could have some extra time with Elana. Monday morning he had asked her if she wanted to go across the street to Starbucks and get some tea together. He remembered that she liked tea in the morning instead of coffee and that she actually only drank coffee at casual dinners or at home. In any event, Elana declined the tea invitation Monday morning because she had already stopped and bought her own to bring it to the office. Tuesday morning Elana did go to see Sean to ask if he had informed the Administrative Staff that she would be conducting their interviews starting that morning...  
  
Sean heard his phone buzz so he turned on the speaker.  
  
"Yes, Charlotte?"  
  
"Mr. Logan, Ms. Powers would like to see you."  
  
Sean turned off the speaker and chuckled to himself because Elana felt she had to go through the secretary to see him. She just didn't know that everyday as he worked he also be hoped she would come to see him. The last thing he wanted was any more barriers to their being able to interact with each other. He turned the speaker back on. "Send her in Charlotte and from now on if she needs to see me just tell her to come right over, no matter who I have in here or if I'm on the phone. O.k."  
  
"O.k. Mr. Logan." Charlotte scowled. She was still trying to figure out exactly what was going on between them and she wondered why he was now giving Elana exclusive access to him, Sheridan Winthrop didn't even have those privileges she thought to herself. She put down her receiver and addressed Elana. "Ms. Powers you can go on in."  
  
"Thanks, Charlotte." Elana had been examining Charlotte and wondered if the woman had ever succeeded in trying to seduce Sean. This was obviously the reason she dressed as she did and Elana knew it. The woman had a sort of sly look about her and Elana had decided the first time she saw her that Charlotte could not be trusted, so she elected to keep as much distance between herself and Charlotte as necessary. After Charlotte told her to go into Sean's office Elana made her way over. When she got to the door Sean was standing inside waiting for her.  
  
"Hi!" Sean said almost a little too anxiously.   
  
"Hi again Sean. We already spoke to each other an hour ago when you got in."  
  
"I know. I just didn't know what else to say." He responded, smiling.  
  
Elana tried to hide her own smile as she noticed the boyish look on his face while he escorted her into his office and closed the door behind him. "I came to ask if you had let the administrative staff know I was starting today?"  
  
"Yeah, I did. Are those your questions?" He asked nodding toward the paperwork she had in her hand.  
  
"Yes. I worked on them all weekend. I already had a skeleton, but each set of questions has to be modified with each new company."  
  
"Can I see them?" He asked holding out his hand.  
  
"Sure, come over here." Elana moved over toward Sean's desk and sat her paperwork down to show Sean her work. He stood observantly next to her taking in all that she explained to him about how the process works and what the answers would determine. He enjoyed working with her and reasoned that he could get used to it very quickly. In fact he already had. He loved the faint smell of her perfume whenever he was near her. He loved the way her silk blouses caressed her upper body and he loved the way she explained her work in a manner that made it easy for everyone to understand and not feel threatened. He made sure not to make any sudden moves because he did not want to scare her away. He had listened to his grandfather's advice and planned on having Elana come to him, even though he did not know how long he could keep from taking her in his arms and repeating the kiss they shared last Friday.   
  
"So after you evaluate the answers you'll be able to determine who's working and who's not." Sean stated.  
  
"Yeah, basically, but I rather say that I'll be able to assess who may have too many steps in the process of accomplishing their work and who may not have enough tasks. You may be able to eliminate certain steps that are arbitrarily repeated while at the same time shift work to those who may not carry a heavy load. That way the work can get done more efficiently, which will equalize everyone's workload. This will ultimately allow your employees to work on even more projects. If you say it the way you did, people will get the impression that I'm here to eliminate their job or something."  
  
"I see what you mean." Sean said as he rubbed his chin between his fingers taking in all that she had said. "Well whenever you want to get started, you can go ahead and do so. If there's anything you might need just ask me and I'll make sure it's taken care of."   
  
"I can just ask Charlotte instead of bothering you. I know you're busy."  
  
"I'm never too busy for you Elana." He said softly turning away from the paperwork and toward her. "I don't want you to feel unnecessarily attached to Charlotte whenever you need to speak with me or whenever you need me to do something right away for you. Just come to me and let me know. I'd prefer if you did it that way."  
  
"O.k. then, I will." She said hesitantly and looking away from him.  
  
"Good. Now I need to get back to some things, but I'm free for lunch if you'd care to join me."  
  
"Um, I can't I have to go over to my office and verify some audits that one of our new people is working on. I'm trying to follow up with her to make sure she gets everything right."  
  
He looked at her profile while she gathered her work, and all he wanted to do was pull her close to him and tell her that he was still in love with her. However, he knew this would be too sudden and from their shaky reunion he figured she would not respond favorably. Therefore, he straightened himself up and walked away from her around to the other side of his desk near his chair while he spoke. "Well, that's always been one of your strong points, your knack for being meticulous about details and your determination to keep your integrity."  
  
"Is that a fact?" Elana asked picking up her work and remembering how much Sean actually did know about her.  
  
"Yes, those are the facts Elana." He said looking directly at her.  
  
Elana returned his glance for a few seconds then placed the paperwork in her folder and turned to walk out of his office. "I'll let you know how things are going throughout the week." She said with her back to him while she was leaving.  
  
As he watched her leaving Sean saw James cut off her path. He stopped her in the hallway and they spoke for a few minutes. Sean noticed that Elana seemed detached, but he could tell she was trying to be pleasant. After a few minutes they parted. Elana went into her office and James was heading to see Sean.  
  
"Hey, there boss! It's a wonderful day isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah I guess. What do you need James?"  
  
"I need a new strategy for Elana."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean my usually irresistible charm is not working fast enough on her. I've been pulling out all the stops, Sean. Fancy restaurants, compliments, I even took her to my beach house in Cape May last weekend."  
  
"You two spent the weekend together?" Sean asked in disbelief.  
  
"Well, it was only Saturday night, but it was worthwhile. I could have gone all the way with her, but she had a few too many drinks and I didn't want her waking up the next morning yelling rape or anything, so I left it alone."  
  
"So she was willing to sleep with you?" Sean asked trying to disguise his shock.  
  
"No, not exactly. She told me that we couldn't go any further because she didn't love me and would probably end up hating me if we did anything. Can you believe that? I see that she's the old-fashioned type, feeling that you have to be in love to have sex with somebody. It's all based on attraction to me. She can be so old fashioned in some ways, but in others she's definitely not."  
  
"How's that?"  
  
"Well you should see some of the dresses she wears, Sean. The first one she wore made her look even ten times more stunning than she already is. I couldn't even look at her too long or else I would have jumped out of my pants and the one she had on Saturday night kept most of the men's eyes glued to her including me. It was a sheer number and hid her more intimate parts with these large sequined circles. I swear she didn't have anything on under it. It was all I could do at that beach house to keep from ripping her clothes off and having my way with her, which would have been easy, but I kept it together. It's like she makes a total transformation when she leaves the work scene. Here she's a no nonsense businesswoman with her hair all pinned up and when you take her out she's just a great person to be around. She's funny and attentive and so many other things." James continued on for a few minutes complimenting Elana's qualities of which Sean knew all too well. After a few minutes Sean seemed irritated that James was getting so familiar with her.  
  
"James do you really think it's a good idea to be seeing the person that's evaluating and restructuring the company? Do you think she can have an intimate relationship with you and still maintain a professional assessment of your division?"  
  
"I think my dating her will be good for the company because as long as I'm pouring on the charm, she's gonna be processing positive responses for Crealite."  
  
"We don't want just a positive assessment, we want an unbiased professional opinion about what is causing our stock prices to plummet. I'd advise you to try not to get too intimate with her until after we've received that info. We can't afford for her emotions to get in the way of reason where this company is concerned." Sean was hoping that James was listening to him and would back off of Elana a little. This would give him time to take care of his affair with Sheridan and begin pursuing her without James being in the way.  
  
"You're probably right Sean about that. But I do know that she does take her work seriously and is not easily swayed emotionally. I'm sure she could even be married to you and still give a fair evaluation of what's going on here."  
  
Sean wanted to change the subject. Hearing that Elana had spent the night at James' house was almost too much for him to conceive of. She wouldn't even go across the street to get a cup of coffee with him, whom she had known almost all her life, but she would travel to another state to stay with a man she's only known for a short while.  
  
"So what are you here for James?" Sean asked ready to get rid of him.   
  
"Oh, I just wanted to talk to you about some of the problems we're having down in research & development."  
  
The two talked about business matters concerning James' department and then he left. Sean was grateful that their time was over because he was getting more and more agitated with the thought of James and Elana spending the night together even though James said they did not do anything. Sean wondered if they had slept in the same bed and if James had held her as he had nine years ago in Georgia. He did not want to torment himself over this because Elana was a grown woman, so he went back to his desk to do some work and make a few phone calls to keep from thinking about it. He only hoped that somehow he would be able to get through to Elana before she did anything stupid with James, who seemed to really like her, but Sean knew he still was after only one thing. He really did not want to see her get hurt and decided that he would pay a little more attention to the developing relationship between Elana and James.  
_______  
  
Wednesday morning it was bright and sunny in New York, Sean came in at 8 o'clock because he knew he would be having lunch with Sheridan today and he figured he would probably have to take the rest of the day off to talk to her about ending their courtship. He had thought about it all weekend up to this point so he was sure that he would be able to tell her in a manner that she wouldn't be hurt too much. Sean felt that there would not be too much sadness over the affair because their relationship did not rest on very much emotion, but he realized that as a woman Sheridan would initially feel a sense of rejection and probably disbelief, but he was ready for it. When he got off the elevator he noticed that neither Charlotte nor Elana were in yet. After he had settled himself, he saw Elana come in and he quickly got up and went to see her. When he reached her door, Elana was removing her light coat and hanging it in the closet. When she saw him, she couldn't help but smile.  
  
"Sean you don't even give me time to get myself together. You are in here every morning talking about nothing. What are you trying to do?"  
  
Sean walked into her office and stood before her with his hands in his pockets. "I was thinking one day about you and I remembered how you liked to just call me early in the morning in Boston before class and just shoot the breeze. Usually I was half awake, but I remembered enjoying that time with you, so I guess once you came here I just automatically went back to doing that."  
  
"Sean you're not fooling me. You have never just fell into doing something. Everything you do is usually pretty calculated even though you try not to make it look that way. All this week you've been coming in earlier than you did last week. In fact I think Charlotte said that you're usually not here until 9:30 or 10am and now you're in my office every morning by 8:30 or so."  
  
"Do you really wanna know what I'm trying to do?"  
  
Elana thought about it for a few seconds and decided to decline hearing his explanation because she knew it would drift into a conversation about their past life together. Sean saw that she was thinking and surmised that she did not want to go there right now and decided to change the subject. "So how did the interviewing go yesterday?" He asked.  
  
Elana moved away from Sean and went to open her attach case that sat on the side of her desk. "It went o.k. Many of the employees were thinking it was some kind of interrogation and I could see how they chose their answers carefully."  
  
"Will that make a difference in the outcome of your analysis?"  
  
"Not really because generally they were all willing to tell me what the other person was or was not doing so if I didn't get the whole story from someone then another person would fill in the blanks."  
  
"You have to be pretty perceptive to figure all that out."  
  
"Yeah, I guess so." She said closing her case and sitting down in the chair behind her desk.  
  
Sean walked closer to the desk and sat down in the chair on the opposite side of her. "You know what I can't figure out?"  
  
"What's that?" Elana said putting on her reading glasses.  
  
"If you're so perceptive why are you spending the night with James Payton, but you won't even walk to the parking lot with me if I invite you?" He now was looking directly at her waiting for an honest response.  
  
Elana was surprised by Sean's sudden shift of subject, but she was not going to let him intimidate her. "Well first of all Mr. Logan, Mr. Payton happens to be unattached as I am, so whatever we do together after work should stay between us and not involve anyone else. You on the other hand are attached, so I don't see any reason why I should be accepting invitations to go anywhere with you that's not business related, especially considering our past together. I'm not in the habit of moving in on another woman's man and I don't intend to start now. I don't have to do that."  
  
"Yeah, you don't." Sean acknowledged. He decided to pursue the conversation to see where it would lead, so he moved up closer to the desk and put his arms on it and wove his fingers together and with a serious look and tone he continued. "So, Ms. Powers are you saying that if I was not attached, you would consider some of my invitations?"  
  
Elana thought he was being funny and never thought he had any intentions of breaking up with Sheridan, so she played along. "Well, I guess if you didn't have anyone in your life and if I was available and if I was interested, I guess I would accept an invitation. Why not?" She said shrugging her shoulders.  
  
"So I guess that since you spent the night with James that means you are attached now. Am I correct?"   
  
"I did not spend the night with James." She said with an emphasis on 'spend'. "He went to a hotel and I stayed in his house overnight. I'm sure he left that out when you were getting all into his business."  
  
Leaning into the desk and trying to look even more serious Sean asked. "Oh, I see, so you're not attached?"  
  
Elana couldn't hide the smile that was forming on her face. "No, Sean, I'm not, now can we get off this subject. James & I are just friends. He's a nice guy but we're not anywhere near seriously dating. Didn't I tell you that already? Why do you care anyway?"  
  
"I care Elana for many reasons, but I won't tell you now because as you say I'm attached, but I'm going to hold you to what you said about accepting my invitations. Will you go to dinner with me next week?"  
  
"Sean! What did I just tell you?"  
  
"I heard you and because I know you're a woman of your word that's why I'm asking if you'll go next week. I'll won't have any unnecessary attachments then."  
  
"What are you talking about? You're not just gonna go break up with Sheridan just because of what I said?"  
  
Sean stood up displaying a wicked grin. "A man's gotta do what he has to and you know I'll do anything for you Elana. I'll wait until Friday to hear what night you have free next week. If I don't hear from you by then. I'll come and ask you again." He turned to walk out the door as Elana called out to him.  
  
"Sean! Sean!" She called, but he did not answer and closed the door behind him as he left. She couldn't believe that he would just break up with his girlfriend of 2 years just to get her to go out with him. After pondering over it for a little while Elana realized that Sean was just trying to be dramatic. If he were going to break up with Sheridan it would not be just because of her, it would be because he wanted to do it anyway. It just so happened that she gave him the perfect opportunity to pin her down to a pending date when they could talk and it had worked.  
  
She thought about her luncheon with Sheridan that afternoon and wondered what kind of business proposition the woman had in mind. She was hoping that Sheridan had grown up a little because what she did remember about her was that she basically rattled her nerves all the time because she never really talked about anything serious. It was always very superficial.  



	25. BEGINNINGS & ENDINGS

12:00pm  
Crealite  
  
Elana retrieved her lightweight coat from the closet and put it on and tied it up over her black wrap around dress. Labor Day was the following week, so it was starting to get cool. She also pulled her Reebok sneakers out of the closet with a pair of socks and put them on. She knew she had to walk a few blocks to get to the restaurant and she was not about to do that in her high heel patent leather shoes. After getting ready she picked up her attaché case and headed for the elevators. On her way out she instructed Charlotte to take her messages because she had a business luncheon and would probably be a little late. While she waited for the elevator she noticed Sean walking toward her. She wondered if he was going to try and coerce her to go to lunch with him.  
  
"Hey. Going to lunch?"  
  
"Yes, Sean, but before you even ask, no I will not go to lunch with you. I actually have a business meeting."  
  
"Oh. That's nice." He said playing along as if he were about to ask her to lunch. "Well I guess I can save my begging for later. You know I'm good at that." He said cutting his eyes at her and grinning. "Since you have plans, I have to go take care of some business myself." He liked the fact that she already thought he was going to ask her out again. To him this showed that she was getting used to him asking and that it wouldn't take long with the right circumstances for her to finally agree to go out so that they could talk.  
  
The elevator opened and it was crowded just like Elana's first day at Crealite. A surge of energy went through her remembering what had happened the last time they were crunched together on this same elevator. Sean noticed her hesitation. "Go ahead Elana. I'll keep it together this time." She gave him a warning look as she stepped into the elevator and he went in behind her. This time he was true to his word and there were no reactions as they descended 30 floors. After they both walked toward the double glass doors leading out into the city, Sean just had to say something...  
  
"Whew that took some concentration." He said feigning breathlessness  
  
Elana was embarrassed and nudged him with her shoulder. "Sean, stop it now!" She said as he pretended being hurt. They laughed about it while they walked in the same direction.  
  
"I can't help it. You know that part of a woman turns me on."  
  
"So do you have to concentrate so hard every time you stand behind a woman so closely in an elevator?" Elana asked not believing he had so little self-control.  
  
"No actually I never have until you came here. Being that I'm attached and all, I just didn't want to tell you that it's actually just being so close to you that turns me on."  
  
Elana just shook her head and kept walking. After a few seconds she asked, "Are you following me now?"  
  
"No, I thought you were following me?"  
  
"Sean stop being silly. Where are you going?"  
  
"I have to meet someone at a restaurant a few blocks from here. What about you?"  
  
"Yeah, the same thing. Some fancy place up the street here. I think it's a little too posh for lunch, but I was invited so..."  
  
"Oh, another rendezvous with James?"  
  
"Actually no. It's business."   
  
"Yeah right?" Sean said teasing her.  
  
Elana just nudged him again and they playfully teased each other and laughed it all off as they walked along the New York sidewalk toward the restaurant until they both finally arrived at the doorway. They mused on the irony of them both meeting someone at the same place and when they went up to the hostess Sean let Elana go first. "I'm here to see Sheridan Winthrop please?" She said.  
  
"Wait a minute! What are you coming to see her for?" Sean asked in surprise.  
  
"This is the day that she designated for us to meet about some business proposition she wants to present to me."  
  
Sean thought for a brief moment, "Humph I guess that's just like her to not really separate business from personal things. It's all the same to her." He said to himself in a frustrated manner.  
  
"Huh?" Elana asked as she noticed Sean's frustration and was confused about why he felt this way. She thought that he may have known all along about her meeting Sheridan and was just pulling her leg about not knowing, but now as she noticed his all to familiar look of frustration, she realized that he didn't know about it and was not too happy at this point.  
  
"Nothing. Let's go." Sean said in answer to her. He was getting more agitated as he gently put his hand on Elana's back guiding her as they followed the hostess to the table. When Sheridan saw them she smiled. "Oh, Sean..." she said as she took his hand and turned her cheek for him to kiss it. He did and she continued. "...I'm glad everyone's here. Elana. It's been such a long time and you look exceptionally beautiful." She said as she reached up to shake Elana's hand.  
  
"Thank you Sheridan, you're looking good yourself." The two women finished their greetings and Elana moved over to the vacant window seat while she started to remove her coat.  
  
Sean quickly helped her with the coat and seated her as Sheridan sat watching not really noticing his bias. Elana noticed though and felt a little awkward with the attention he was giving her and with the fact that now the three of them were together. As Sean took his seat next to Sheridan, Elana noticed that they were a stunning couple. Sheridan had always been the ultimate media's rendition of beauty with her blond wavy hair that fell to her waist and large deep blue eyes. Her facial features seemed almost perfect based on the media standards and her makeup was flawless. Her clothing was impeccable and certainly her taste was more than extravagant. Elana started to wonder how Sean had gone from being a down to earth man to someone who frequented fancy and expensive gala's with Sheridan. She knew he preferred the simple things just as she did, but she reasoned that just like herself success had made them both just get accustomed to indulging in the finer things more often than needed. Sheridan started the conversation directing her initial attention to Sean.  
  
"Love, I hope you don't mind that I'm taking care of these things before we have that talk you mentioned last week. Besides I knew that we all were old high school friends, so I assumed neither of you would mind." She now turned her attention to Elana. "Now Elana it's so good to see you after all these years. You have really changed since high school."  
  
"You certainly have not." Elana said with a fake smile on her face.  
  
"Remember when you used to wear your hair all frizzy like?"  
  
"Frizzy like what?"  
  
"Yeah. It was kind of -well it didn't look as well as you have it coiffured now. You know how we all look like geeks in high school anyway. I'm sure you got teased a lot about that." Sheridan said laughing. She was trying to establish common ground but she picked the wrong subject. Elana was not amused.  
  
Sean squirmed in his seat a little and called for the waiter to come and take their orders. He had seen Elana tell another woman off in college when she was trying to flirt with him and he did not want another demonstration of it at this fancy restaurant even though it may have been a little entertaining he thought. Sheridan decided to try something else once she did not get her desired response from Elana.  
  
"So, who did you marry?"  
  
"Marry?"  
  
"Yes, certainly an attractive woman like yourself has been swept off her feet and found her prince charming."  
  
Elana threw a quick glance at Sean who noticed and tried to look at the plates of the people at the next table pretending to be interested in ordering what they had. "Well, it so happens that I don't believe in fairy-tales and I'm not married."  
  
"Really? Oh, then you must be dating someone seriously."  
  
Sean could see that Elana was getting ready to say something that would shock Sheridan out of her senses so he jumped in. "She has been going out with James Payton from my office."  
  
"James Payton? You mean the Vice President over there? The one whose father died and left him all those millions. Oh my! I have been trying to get to speak with him for so long. You're dating him?" Sheridan was breathless with the thought of Elana being with someone of such prestige and she went on and on about it until Elana tried to stop her.  
  
"Actually we're just..."  
  
Sean quickly interrupted. "Yeah they just came back from his beach house in Cape May where they spent the past weekend." He said cutting Elana a devilish smile while she flashed him a look of vengeance.  
  
Sheridan was even more amazed at the thought of how actually close Elana was to James and she continued to lament about how wonderful he was and how stylish and connected he was. During this time the waiter had taken their orders and he now was bringing their food. Elana threw Sean a few evil looks as they listened to Sheridan carrying on. After a few minutes Elana interjected.  
  
"Sheridan may we talk about this business proposition you mentioned I need to get back to the office soon?"  
  
"Oh, certainly yes. Please forgive me for getting sidetracked. I hope Sean hasn't worked you too hard." She said looking up at him as she readied herself to talk about her proposition.  
  
"No, I haven't yet, but I certainly plan on it, but not right away of course." He said while he looked directly at Elana. She looked back at him, hinting that he shouldn't say things like that, but he knew that Sheridan would not catch on to his double meaning. Sheridan continued...  
  
"Now what I'm proposing is for your company and mine to have a sort of partnership, wherein I use your image to attract minority companies to hire me to improve their own image and thus gain more success. I'll provide all the consulting and you can manage their progress."  
  
"What do you mean manage their progress?" Elana asked.  
  
"Well you can go and check to see that they're making the needed changes to improve their image."  
  
"Sheridan, I'm an accountant. I don't have time to go baby-sit some company to make sure they're dressing right or that they have the right furniture. That's not what I do."  
  
"I know. I know. So I was thinking about placing one of my girls at your office and she could get a feel for how you maintain your image and she could in turn go help these fledgling companies."  
  
"So what would this person do at my office all day, just kind of sit around and observe how we all dress and the furnishings we use?"  
  
"No. Not exactly. It's actually an entire concept. We actually come in and assess how your image is perceived by others and how to project that image and maintain it. It has to do with everything from the shoes you wear to the paintings on the walls to the way you deal with clients. There is so much to it Elana!"  
  
Sean was enjoying the view of Elana's smooth brown legs in her silk stockings. She was sitting sideways facing him and part of her wrap-around dress had fallen to the side exposing her thigh. He realized that whenever she had her business hat on, he was more attracted to her than ever. He couldn't stop the flooding of ideas that came into his head as he contemplated what it would have been like if they had married 9 years ago. He could also see that Elana thought this was all superfluous and he surmised what would make up her mind about Sheridan's proposed deal, because he was thinking the same thing. Finally Elana confirmed his thoughts when she said...  
  
"So what's in it for Powers & Lambert?"  
  
"Well I'm prepared to provide you with image consulting indefinitely with no fee. I also can give you several carde blanc and VIP passes to your favorite salons, boutiques, exclusive jewelers, tailor and shoe shops."  
  
"Oh! I see. Tell me again how many minority companies you deal with now?"  
  
"Right now I have none, and this is why I want to work with you because your company has accomplished so much in such a short time and your style and image is almost perfect in the world of minority businesses."  
  
"Thanks. So let me get this straight. You want to enter into a joint venturing agreement with my company who you have stated has an excellent image and it would be sought after by other minority companies trying to succeed. You would use my company name, reputation and image to attract these businesses to your firm, some of whom would in turn enter into a monetary contractual agreement with you to help them achieve the image level that we have. And I, in turn would get some carde blanc & VIP passes to my favorite boutiques as well as free image consulting services for our already 'perfect' image? Is that about how it would go?" Elana asked with her forefinger on her left temple as she gazed at Sheridan.  
  
"Yes, that's exactly right." Sheridan said smiling. She thought it was a great deal because she felt that any minority would be happy to have admittance to a high class shop where they would be given the royal treatment with no questions asked as long as they had the money to pay for the services and Sheridan knew that Elana must have the money, she just never had the opportunity to go to some of the places Sheridan was offering her admittance to.  
  
Sean now had one arm folded across his body and the other he held up with his hands over his mouth. He had heard what Sheridan said and he knew it was ridiculous to offer any company a deal like that. He wondered what Elana would do as he could see an all too familiar fire in her eyes which now had removed all traces of light brown and glared almost as black as night. Elana politely smiled and continued...  
  
"Well, I see. Could you excuse me please I need to go to the ladies room." She said a little too smoothly. Elana rose from the table, picking up her case and coat then walked toward the restroom area. As Sheridan talked about how well she thought she had presented her idea to Elana, Sean tried to keep a watch on her out of the corner of his eye because he had an inkling as to what she was going to do. Then right before the entrance to the restrooms Elana made a quick turn and went toward the doors to leave. He noticed her giving something to the hostess and she stood there until the hostess came back and Elana signed something and then walked out. Sean decided to go catch her before she got too far.  
  
"Sheridan I'm going to go use the restroom also. My stomach is killing me. I'll be right back." He said as he made a dash in the direction of the bathrooms and repeated what Elana had done. He ran out of the restaurant and caught up with Elana who was walking pretty fast at that point.  
  
"Hey Elana!!!" He called out. She turned around and waited for him to catch up with her. When he caught up they continued walking more slowly. "Where are you going?"  
  
"I'm going back to work. I don't have time to play around with your girlfriend Sean. The woman is obviously somewhere else. I don't know where, but it sure ain't here in New York where people are trying to run businesses. I can't believe she offered me gift certificates for the use of my company name and image so that she can start making money off of minorities?"  
  
"Well I told her that she'd better make you a fair offer or you wouldn't go for it. But I see she didn't listen to me."  
  
"She sure didn't. How did you get mixed up with her anyway."  
  
Sean saw this as an opportunity to remind Elana of what she'd done. "That's a long story that I hope to share with you some time soon." They both paused and Sean continued. "So you're not going back, I gather?"  
  
Elana looked at him not answering but wondering why he had to ask her that question.  
  
"So what should I tell her?"  
  
"If I were you I wouldn't tell her anything because then she'd know you went after me. Let her think what ever she wants and maybe the next time before she tries something ludicrous like that she'll think twice."  
  
Sean couldn't help but agree with Elana so he said goodbye and made his way back to the restaurant. When he got back to the table Sheridan was finishing her lunch salad.  
  
"I'm back, sorry about that."  
  
"That's ok. I was waiting for Elana but she hasn't gotten back yet. I wonder why she took her coat and briefcase to the bathroom." She said looking at her watch. Sean just sat there trying to act uninterested. "I'm going to go to the ladies room to see if she's alright." She got up with the intention of checking on Elana. Several minutes later Sean saw her talking to the hostess in the front. Then she made her way back to their table.  
  
"Can you believe that. She left!" Sheridan said in disbelief as she returned and sat down.  
  
"What? Really?" Sean asked trying to appear surprised.  
  
"Yes. She just left. Just like that. Without saying anything. Why would she do that? I should have known something was strange about her when she came in this place with her sneakers on." Sheridan was confused as she tried to figure it out. Sean tried to help her along.  
  
"Well Sheridan the only reason I can think of is that she probably was offended."  
  
"Offended, how?"  
  
"You have to remember that the field she's in is very exacting so you really didn't give her much to work with. She probably saw that you'd be the only one making money from the use of her company name. Remember how she referred to your carde blanc and VIP passes as gift certificates. She probably doesn't spend every other day at the spa, but she did realize that she would be responsible for you making a lot of money from new business you receive as a result of your relationship with her company. She probably was looking for you to offer her a percentage of the new minority business you brought in."  
  
"Oh, wow. I didn't think of that. I guess I should get some sales people or something if I plan to branch out."  
  
"Yeah, that may be a good idea because up until now you've pretty much been dealing with your own circle of associates who have known you for years and so they do business with you, but when you get out here in the real world things can be a little tough."  
  
"Yes, I see. She was really bold to just walk out like that. I don't think I could ever do that."  
  
"Well you'd better learn or get someone else to do your sales or you might as well stick with what you have."  
  
"Yeah, but anyway. I guess we can go ahead and talk about what you had on your mind. You said you wanted to discuss something what is it?"  
  
"Uh, yeah." Sean said as he swallowed hard and quickly remembered how he wanted to say what he had to without hurting Sheridan's feelings too much. He took her hand and began to speak. "You know Sheridan we've been seeing each other for over 2 years now and --- and I know that's a long time." He couldn't say that they shared a lot or something sentimental because it just was not there, so he continued as best he could.  
  
"Our families have known each other for a long time and we've actually been friends of sorts since high school. That's a long time to know a person, even though we really weren't close during those years."  
  
"Yes, it is Sean." Sheridan said with a smile on her face.  
  
"I just want to tell you that you are one of the nicest persons I know and you really want to help people to be their best and that's a good quality. You're beautiful, you're full of ideas and you know how to handle yourself when it counts." He paused for a few seconds watching Sheridan smile softly at him while he spoke. He didn't know what would be the right moment to lower the boom, but figured he would continue forward. "Sheridan, what I wanted to say was -- I wanted to ..."  
  
Sheridan cut him off "Sean, I know this is hard for you, but to make it easier. I say yes!"  
  
"Yes? Yes to what?"  
  
"To your proposal. Yes, I'll marry you. Do you have the ring yet? Maybe we can go down to Tiffany's and pick one out..." Sheridan started to expound on picking out a ring as Sean sat there dumbfounded. He couldn't figure where she ever got the idea that he wanted to marry her. He had never given her any signs as such, but he remembered their conversation that Saturday when he had taken grandpa out for the day. So he knew it was all part of that perfect picture that she painted whether the people in it were happy or not, including herself. As Sheridan ranted on excitedly about when they would marry, whom they would invite and where they would go on the honeymoon, Sean interrupted in frustration...  
  
"Sheridan, wait just a minute! You have this all wrong. I was not going to propose to you."  
  
Sheridan suddenly stopped talking and looked at him. "Well what were you going to say love?"  
  
Sean inhaled slowly and answered her. "I was going to say that I think we should end the relationship."  
  
"What?" Sheridan asked with a disbelieving look on her face. Then she laughed "Oh, Sean why are you joking around with me. You scared me for a minute there..."  
  
"I'm not joking Sheridan. I don't want to go on like this with you any more. I think you deserve better and so do I. I'm not in love with you and I don't have any desire to marry you now or in the future."  
  
"But what are you talking about? We've talked about marriage before. We just decided that it never was the right time."  
  
"No Sheridan, you talked about marriage and I never insisted on a date. There is a difference."  
  
"But what about our two years together Sean didn't that mean anything to you?"  
  
"Of course it did Sheridan and I already told you how I feel about you, but the truth is there is no amount of time in the world that could make me fall in love with you. We're just not suited for each other and it doesn't make any sense to spend more time together when we both know this is the case." Sean had wanted to be careful with his words. He wanted to make sure that he never denoted that they had wasted their time or that they came together for nothing. He felt that Sheridan had come into his life to show him what a loveless relationship is like and it had taught him that he did not want that for himself or for her.  
  
Sheridan sat in her chair silently for a moment and eventually spoke. "Is there someone else Sean?"  
  
"Sheridan this has nothing to do with anyone else. This is about us and it's just not working. You need to admit that. I don't want to hurt you, but if we stay together we'll just be causing damage to each other and I don't want that. I want us to remain friends."  
  
"Friends? What if I tell you I don't want to end it? I'm comfortable with the way things are Sean."  
  
"That's the problem Sheridan, you're a little too comfortable. I don't want that type of comfort in my relationship with someone I intend to marry. I want passion and emotion and we've never had that."  
  
"We have had passion Sean. We used to make love all the time after we first got together."  
  
"I'm not talking about just having sex. Sure we did our share, but there was no passion. It was perfunctory at best. I'm talking about a passion where you constantly long to be with the other person and when you're with them you can't keep your hands off each other. You can talk about anything. You can make mistakes, sometimes terrible mistakes and yet the other person still loves you, and when you make love you just can't get enough of each other to the point that you wish you could melt into that person. That's what passion is Sheridan and we have none of those things. It's not something you can work on. It has to just be there and then you build on it. If you think what we had is passion Sheridan I feel sorry for you because that shows that you haven't experienced it for yourself. You don't know what you're missing out on."  
  
"Well obviously you have had that type of passion for someone?"  
  
"Yes, I have and I was with her long enough to know that what you and I have doesn't even come close."  
  
"So why didn't you stay together if there was so much passion. Why did you agree to start going out with me Sean?"  
  
"I don't have all the answers Sheridan, but I do know that sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you may swing at it and miss, but you become determined that whenever it throws you another one you're gonna make sure you hit it right on the head the next time around."  
  
"Well I don't know about curve balls, but I do know that I don't want out of this relationship."  
  
"Why not Sheridan besides your being comfortable. Why not?"  
  
"Because Sean do you remember the Friday before last (August 21, 1998) when you came to Connecticut and we went out. Well you succeeded in getting yourself pretty drunk and then we made love on my original sofa. It was without protection. Now my cycle is a few days late so the possibility exists that I may be pregnant and I will not have a baby and be unmarried."  
  
Sean was shocked at the mention of her possibly being pregnant and he tried to remember what had happened that night, but couldn't because he was so drunk. He surmised that Sheridan told him the whole story and relented to the possibility, but it still didn't change his resolve. "Sheridan, if you're pregnant I'll make sure to take care of the baby and be a father to it, but it won't include being married to you. I can't do that and I won't do it."  
  
Sheridan was now angry and her voice grew slightly louder. "You mean to tell me that you would have me pregnant with your child and you wouldn't marry me. You'd leave me open to society. You'd make a statistic out of me?"  
  
Sean tried to calm her down. He never thought she would make a scene at a restaurant, but he could see that some people were noticing their disagreement. "Don't be so dramatic. You wouldn't be the first woman who had a baby out of wedlock and you certainly wouldn't be the last. I told you that I would take care of the child."  
  
"I can't believe you Sean Logan. You get drunk and have your way with me without taking precautions and then you tell me that I'll just have to live with your carelessness? How dare you! You practically raped me that night. I tried to resist you, but you kept grabbing at me. I told you to use a condom, but you insisted that you didn't want to. Then you just forced yourself inside me until you finished and afterwards you got up and went home. I didn't get too upset about it because I felt that this was a lasting relationship, but now you come sit here and try to end it all over lunch! I'm not going to sit still and let you do this to me Sean! I'm not!"  
  
Sean didn't know what to say. He couldn't deny her allegations because he really didn't remember much about that night other than the picture of Elana and the several glasses of vodka he devoured to try and forget her face. If what Sheridan said was true then he felt sorry because he knew he had used her to try and forget about Elana. He sat there and tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke. "Sheridan, if I did those things to you I am truly sorry. I never want to hurt you. I never should have drank so much. I hope you can forgive me. If we do have a baby I'll make it as easy for you as possible, but I can't marry you Sheridan. Because I don't love you and I know I never will. "  
  
"But Sean how could you sleep with me and say you don't love me?" Sheridan was now weeping with tears streaming down her face.  
  
"Sheridan, that's obvious. It's because you let me. I never told you I loved you. I never hinted at it and I never told anyone else I loved you. You know that and you have to have noticed. Sure we slept together. That's what couples do. You were willing and so was I. We slept together on our first date and you had to know then that I did not love you. You can't interchange the words love and sex. They're two different things."  
  
Sheridan sat in her chair in shock, she realized that this was the end of her relationship with Sean. She saw the possibilities of being his wife and acting in that capacity fading before her and she did not want to let it go so she decided to use what cards she had in her hand at the moment and after gaining her composure she looked over at him and threw what she had out. "Sean you have to marry me! You just have to! I'm going to have your child for God's sake!" In desperation she continued. "If you don't marry me I'll take you to court for rape and assault. And then I'll keep you in court over child support and palimony charges that wring you of every cent you have. I did not spend 2 years of my life with you for nothing and I'm going to get what I deserve and that's you and the Logan name or your money."  
  
Sean was now angered at the realization of Sheridan's obvious mission in staying with him, so he got up from the table and removed his wallet to take out the money to pay for their meal. As he removed the cash he said. "You do what ever you feel you have to do Sheridan, but it won't change the fact that we do not love each other. You let me know about your condition and we can either talk together or through our lawyers, it doesn't matter to me because I will take care of the child but I will not marry you. I want out Sheridan and as of this point we are no longer together. He left the payment and tip on the table for their lunch and walked out of the restaurant headed back to the office.  
  
As he strolled back thoughts flooded his mind about having a child with Sheridan. He wondered how it might possibly affect his pursuit of Elana. When she realized that Sheridan was pregnant, if she was, then would she want to have anything to do with him? Would she be open to helping him raise a white child and everyone instantly knowing that it was not theirs? What about his treatment of Sheridan, would Elana look on him as irresponsible and as having some other negative qualities that she wouldn't want to be associated with? After a few minutes of contemplation he arrived at his building and entered it and he got into the elevator. He didn't have the answers and as he ascended to his office his heart became loaded down with anxiety.  
  
When he got off the elevators he walked over to Charlotte's desk and told her to hold all of his calls. When he turned around he saw Elana coming out of her office with some files and obviously headed somewhere to conduct more interviews. He couldn't help but look at her sadly and just continue to his office. Elana picked up on it and wondered what had happened. She hoped Sheridan hadn't taken anything out on him because of her leaving, so she went to Charlotte's desk to see if she could go see him.  
  
"Charlotte, could you ask Mr. Logan if I could see him?"  
  
Charlotte remembered her boss' instructions earlier and complied. "Mr. Logan says you have exclusive access to him so you can just go on in." She said suspiciously.  
  
Elana ignored Charlotte's flippancy and went ahead to Sean's office. She knocked on the door and heard him say "Come in". She opened the door and peeked in.  
  
"Is everything alright?"  
  
Sean was standing by his window looking out, but when he heard her soft voice he turned around. "Yeah." He said.  
  
Elana knew he was not o.k. so she opened the door further and went in and closed it. She walked over to the front of his desk holding her folders in her hands down in front of her. "I know you're not o.k. Sean. I hope Sheridan didn't take out any frustration about my walking out on you. I'm sorry if ..."  
  
"No Elana, you don't have to apologize for anything. Sheridan didn't take anything out on me because of you." As he said this he walked over to the front of his desk next to her and gently took her hand in his.  
  
"Then why are you looking so sad. She must have said something to upset you."  
  
"Yeah, just relationship stuff. I deserved all the bashing I got."  
  
"Oh, you got bashed huh. What did you do?"  
  
"It's more what I didn't do."  
  
"And what is that?" As soon as she asked this she knew she was getting into an issue that she didn't need to deal with. She didn't want to care about what was going on between Sean and Sheridan, but in reality she did. "You know Sean I'm sorry. This is none of my business."  
  
Sean took the folders out of her other hand and held it also. Now they stood at a small distance facing each other while Sean held her fingers in his own as he answered her. "It is your business Elana. To answer your question I didn't love her and I told her that today, so needless to say she wasn't too pleased."  
  
"So you broke up with her after I had just walked out on her. She must be feeling a great sense of rejection right now. Maybe I shouldn't have left so quickly. Maybe I should have at least tried to discuss it further and then maybe eventually she would have changed her offer. This way she wouldn't have two rejections to deal with on the same day." Elana felt regret at her part in whatever Sheridan might be going through at that time.  
  
Sean on the other hand couldn't help but admire Elana even more for thinking of him and of Sheridan. All he wanted was to say that now they could be together, but there still was the pending pregnancy that he hoped he would find out about soon and then he would have to deal with whatever the consequences would be. "I'm sure Sheridan will be o.k. There was no love lost between us. She's probably more offended than anything right now from my confession. As to your leaving, she thinks you're the prune right now and sees it as your loss."  
  
"Well if all that is the case why are you so down?"  
  
Sean let go of her hands and sat on the edge of his desk. He knew it was too soon to tell Elana that he might be a father, but he wanted to do it anyway. They had always been so close and he was never able to keep anything from her. Even though they had been separated by time he still felt the same way now that she was back in his life, but using his better judgement he refrained from telling her. "I just ended a two year relationship that I initially had hoped would work for us both, but it never did. I really put everything into making it work, at first. I wanted to really feel about someone the way I felt about you. After years of her asking me to take her out I finally did, thinking this could be the person God was sending to me to have the things I wanted like a loving wife and children, but Sheridan was only in it for status and money. The signs were always there, but I chose to ignore them, but today I finally saw clearly why she was with me and it's kinda hard to take knowing that she just wanted to be with me because it made her look good."   
  
Elana moved closer to Sean and put her hand on his arm. "Sean I'm sorry you have to go through this, but sometimes it's better to find these things out now rather than later. You deserve better than that, but I'm sure it wasn't all bad. I don't see how she could not love you even if she may have initially been after status and money. She seemed to be somewhat affectionate toward you."  
  
"Sheridan is all about herself. I can assure you of that and affection was always a foreign word to her. We couldn't even hold hands in public because it wasn't proper etiquette."   
  
Elana felt sorry for Sean because it seemed that he had spent his last two years in a loveless relationship. She thought that at least she was not involved with anyone so she did not have to suffer through any emotional torment over relationships, but Sean had spent his time trying to find true love again and ended up unfulfilled which placed a heavier emotional burden on him. She didn't know what to say or do to console him, but she tried. "I'm so sorry Sean that you're feeling so hurt right now. I wish there was something I could do." She said consolingly as she rubbed his arm, while he sat there in a somber mood.  
  
After she said this, Sean looked up at her and forced a half smile then he held her by her waist and rested his head on her breasts. Elana did not try to resist him because she knew he needed it at that moment. They remained there for a few seconds and Sean seemed to cling to her not wanting to let go. He remembered how they could always console each other when things were not going well for them either in school, at home or between them, and he relished in this old familiar feeling. He wondered if she felt the same thing.   
  
Elana also remembered that in the past when Sean was down, she usually would let him rest his head on her chest while they held each other on the sofa of her apartment in Georgia. When they did this everything seemed to slip their minds and there was only the two of them, which is how they both felt during their embrace. Elana remembered that Sean had such a gentle way about him and they always knew how to make each other feel better. Feeling needed by him again was something she had missed. Because of the distance she had kept from other men, no one had wanted to rely on her for anything because she didn't want to rely on them, but now consoling Sean she realized how she wanted someone to need her again.  
  
After holding onto her for a minute or so Sean finally, reluctantly and slowly let go of her, because he was trying to avoid his urge to kiss her again. But before he moved completely away from her and with his hands still around her waist, he gazed into her eyes and whispered, "Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome." She whispered back to him not shying away from their gaze, in which they both knew this was a turning point in their relationship as it stood.   
  
Sean smiled and finally let her go completely then she gathered her folders and held them close to her with one arm while she pushed the few loose strands of hair off her ear with her other hand as she said "I have to go down and finish the interviews in Administration. Will you be alright?"  
  
"Yes, I'm fine now." He answered.  
  
Elana gave him a soft smile, "Good, then I guess I'll see you around the rest of this week." She said and then she walked toward the door opened it and before she left she glanced back at Sean who was still watching her. They gave each other a knowing look and Elana turned forward and slowly closed the door behind her as she left.  
  



	26. CONCEPTIONS & CONFESSIONS

Part 26: CONCEPTIONS & CONFESSIONS  
  
The rest of the week was quiet around Crealite. Sean still came in early, but he retreated immediately to his office and he and Elana did not see each other at all because she was busy conducting interviews with the administrative staff on the 32nd floor. James had asked Elana out over the weekend but she declined not really being in the mood to be conversant with him. She couldn't help but think of whether Sean was making out all right after his break up with Sheridan and she so much wanted to go to him and help him through this difficult time. She couldn't help but sense that something else was bothering him, something more serious that he had not told her, but she shrugged it off as just her imagination. On Friday, Elana finished up her interviews and went back to her office to pack up and leave for the weekend. She remembered that Sean said he would give her until Friday to tell him when she would go out with him, but she figured that he had not anticipated the effect his break-up would have on him and that now was not the time for him to be talking about entering another relationship. She finished packing up her things and headed home for the weekend.  
  
Elana was looking forward to the tennis session with Gail that they had planned on Saturday. They usually would get together every other weekend for a whole day. They would each teach a class in the morning at the local YWCA if they were needed as substitutes. Elana taught tennis & Gail taught an art class. Afterwards, they would play a tennis game to demonstrate for Elana's students, then they would go to a beauty spa, do a light lunch, shopping and then maybe catch a movie or just kick back at Elana's place and talk girl talk. During the past few weeks Gail had also begun to share her lovemaking secrets with Elana, who she hoped would use them to seduce Sean.   
  
Gail and Elana had shared times like these since they met at Spellman, where they instantly became friends and eventually they were as close as sisters. They did just about everything together. They were both on the tennis team and made it to the finals every year, but Elana always took home the tennis championship title. Gail was always best at designing clothing, so she spent most of her spare time making dresses for weddings and other large events.  
  
On this particular weekend Gail postponed their outing until the afternoon because she had to go to Connecticut that morning for fertility testing. She and Max had a two-year old daughter and they had been trying to have another baby, for about a year, but for some reason they could not conceive. They finally decided to go to a world renowned fertilization specialist in Connecticut to help them.  
  
On schedule, Saturday afternoon, Gail met Elana at the YWCA. They played a tennis game, showered and then headed to a late lunch at a new local café to power up for some shopping later. During lunch Elana took the time to tell Gail all that had happened between her and Sean.  
  
"So how did things work out with the doctor?"  
  
"I think it's gonna go fine. This doctor is the best and he practically guarantees that we won't be having octuplets or anything because I don't want no baby that bad. He has an excellent staff and his facility is impressive. It's a complete family planning center, where you can either forfeit the right to parenthood through vasectomies, tubule legations or hysterectomies or force it through invitro-fertilization or sperm donation."  
  
"Well I certainly hope it works for you and Max, you deserve it."  
  
"Thanks Elana. I have to admit that I was scared when I didn't get pregnant after trying for a year. Max and I want at least three kids, so this clinic seems to be our answer. So many people have had success with him. He's really sought after and many prominent people go to him for help."  
  
"Wow. Then it seems that you and Max will be getting those other two children soon"  
  
"Yes, we will. I guess I'll have everything I want then: The perfect husband and three beautiful children. All I need now is that jag I've been telling you about." Gail said jokingly.  
  
"Why don't you just go buy yourself the jaguar Gail. Max won't mind."  
  
"I know, I just want him to get it for me. So I can have an excuse to make some wild and passionate love to him. Sometimes it means so much more when your husband does things for you. I think he's coming around though because at the clinic this morning I saw the exact jag I want. It was crème colored with gold rims. If the blonde woman who got into it wasn't in such a hurry to leave I was going to go over to her and make a big deal out of the car with Max there so that he would get the hint, but I never had a chance."  
  
"She was leaving? I thought you had one of the first appointments"  
  
"I did too, but she may have been dropping somebody off or something, but enough about me. What's been going on at Crealite? I can see that something is bothering you. What is it girl?  
  
  
  
Elana looked up from her meal. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Ah, come on Elana. This is me you're talking to. I can tell when something's wrong. so spill it. Is it that James fella. I told you to stop wasting your time with him."  
  
"No, Gail it's not James." Elana hesitated because she had tried to keep from telling Gail about what had happened between her and Sean, but now she felt to have someone help her sort out her feelings. "It's Sean."  
  
"Ummm." Gail said putting down the glass that she was drinking from. "Now this I want to hear." She looked at Elana waiting for her to say what was going on.  
  
"Well, he's had a rough time these past few days and I just feel for him."   
  
"Is it something dealing with the company?"  
  
"No, it's personal."  
  
"Personal? Oh. You mean you know something personal about the man? The last I heard you were trying to keep everything impersonal. So, how is it that you have come to know something personal about Sean after you had been trying to avoid him for 9 years?"  
  
"Well, we've been talking in the mornings before everyone gets in and I guess - oh I don't know, we were such good friends before so I guess we just kinda eased back into it."  
  
"Eased back into it you say. Now who was doing the easing, you or him?"  
  
"I don't know we just seem to spend the first half hour together in my office just about everyday now and..."  
  
"Oh I see, so he comes to your office. I got it."  
  
Elana could see she was fighting a loosing battle so she decides to just go ahead and tell Gail everything. "Ok. Sit back and listen Gail. Over a week ago, Sean and I got into a compromising situation in his office and then I pulled away from him. He got angry and said some mean things to me then I slapped him and he kissed me. So I stormed out of his office, slamming his door and then mine. Later he apologized and we've been extra friendly since then. Anyway, he broke up with Sheridan last week and he was a little upset about it so I talked and listened to him and I comforted him in my arms for a few minutes. So these past few days he hasn't come in to talk. He just goes straight to his office. I know there's something else bothering him. I just don't know how to ask him about it.  
  
Gail sat there with her eyes and mouth wide open. "Elana girl I am going to strangle you. How could you keep all of this from me? I don't believe you." She paused for a few seconds to take everything Elana had said in. "So he kissed you? How did it feel after all these years?"  
  
"Oh, Gail. It was indescribable. When he touched me, I felt like I belonged to him and I gave in to the point where I couldn't stop myself. If he had wanted to have me on the floor I would have been putty in his hands. I don't think I would be able to resist him now like I could when I was younger. Every time he looks at me I turn to butter inside. I guess I just never anticipated how much of an impact he would have on me after all this time."  
  
"So why didn't you let him roll your putty girl or butter his bread with you?" Gail jokingly asked.  
  
"It wasn't me, but he was the one who stopped and said that we had to settle some unfinished business between us."   
  
"Umm Umph, girl sounds like he has a plan for you and I hope he gets you back good too."  
  
"Gail, why would you say that."  
  
"Because you deserve to have a taste of your own medicine. I remember how much that man used to really love you. I was always jealous just looking at you two whenever he came to Atlanta to visit you. He would have done anything for you and you went and broke his heart. Now after seeing you again I know he wants you back. That's why he broke up with Sheridan. He probably realized that he wanted you and not her."  
  
"I think it was just that he was unhappy in the relationship."  
  
"Oh of course he was. Because she wasn't you. I can't imagine him reacting to anyone the way you two reacted to each other. You couldn't keep your hands off of each other. You went everywhere hand in hand except for the bathroom whenever he and his good looking friend visited and you were always kissing and hugging up on each other. Girl, if I were you I would make sure that I was there every minute to help him during his time of sorrow or whatever. If you ask me the man is clearing his pathway to you. I wouldn't be surprised if he asked you out soon."  
  
"He already did, several times."  
  
"And you said no of course."  
  
"Yeah, well he was still dating Sheridan and you know how I feel about that. But now he's made me promise that I would go out with him. I just have to let him know when."  
  
"So have you decided yet? You know you'll have to tell him what happened."  
  
"I know. It's so hard to pinpoint a time. I've been thinking that maybe next weekend would be good. It'll give us both time to prepare ourselves. Me for how he'll react and him for what I'll say."  
  
"I wonder what he thinks is the reason you wrote him that letter?"  
  
"He probably thinks I started dating someone else because he was always so worried about me meeting someone. He would constantly ask me to never let another man touch me because he couldn't live with the thought of me being with someone else."  
  
"Well he still doesn't have to worry about that one. If you ask me Elana you need to take that man out and tell him the truth then let him decide what he'll do. Like I said his daddy ain't gonna disown him. Maybe he'll be a little upset for a while, but once he gets to know you and you start giving him some grandkids he'll really love you. I don't see how anyone can't unless he's just a white supremacist and I don't think Sean was raised in that type of home."  
  
"Maybe you're right Gail. I'm just scared of exposing myself completely to him or to any man. I don't want to feel vulnerable like I did when I was in college and I gave in to Phillip Logan's threats."  
  
"Then don't be vulnerable. Take control. Now that Sean's single. You start calling the shots and have him back on your terms if he forgives you for leaving him like you did. There's no rulebook that says you have to sit back and let men make all the moves when it comes to relationships. If I had waited for Max he would be married to Suma Ali back in India somewhere."  
  
"I don't know if I can do that to Sean. Any other man I can deal with them on their own level, but with Sean it's different. It's like I'm back in college again. I don't know if I can call any shots with him."  
  
"Well, I know what I'm going to do for you. I'm working on a few dresses for Victoria's Secret, but I'm going to design them specifically with you in mind, so when I finish them I want you to be my advertisement. But I have to warn you if you wear these dresses don't be prepared to stay in them too long. This way you'll be able to call the shots without saying a word."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"I know. I have a talent for making dresses that speak to men, so with your body and my designs, girl you'll have Sean worshipping you on his hands and knees."  
  
The two women finished their lunch while they continued to converse about Sean and Elana. At the end of the day, Gail finally went home and they promised to get together in two weeks for another girl's day out. After Gail left Elana decided to take a shower, then retire to retire for the night while she read a Rochelle Alers novel. It was 12:30am when she finally climbed into bed and the phone rang. She figured it was Gail letting her know she arrived home safely.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi! How Are You?"  
  
Elana couldn't believe it. It was Sean on the other line. She couldn't mistake his sexy voice for anyone else. "Oh! Hi Sean. Is everything ok?" She asked wondering why he was calling her so late.  
  
"No. Not really."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I was just lying here thinking of you. I was going to wait until Monday to give you more time to come tell me when we could get together, but I just couldn't wait until then. I also missed you. I'm sorry I wasn't coming in to say hello this past week. I just had a lot on my mind."  
  
"That's ok Sean. I understand."  
  
"Look, the real reason I called was because I've been thinking about something. Something I need to tell you before we decide to go out.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Um. Well, I told you I broke it off with Sheridan, but what I didn't tell you is that - well she - well um the thing is that I may have fathered a child with her." Sean stopped and waited for Elana's reaction.  
  
At hearing this Elana didn't know what to feel. She couldn't be angry or hurt but for some reason she felt both. After a few seconds she decided that she still owed it to him to let him know what happened regardless of whether he had children or not. She knew now that she had been unfair to him all these years and in some ways she was responsible for his possible fatherhood because she had rather give him up than see him with her and devoid of his family. Her own unselfishness had given Sean the right to be with someone else and have children so she could not fault him in any way for it.   
  
"Elana, are you still there?"  
  
"Um yeah. I'm sorry I just wasn't expecting to hear that."  
  
"Yeah I know. I just couldn't keep it from you. I wanted you to know before you made a decision about our getting together to talk."  
  
"What does our talking have to do with you and Sheridan having a child?"  
  
"I guess it has a lot to do with it because if she pregnant, it will impact my future just as our discussion will."  
  
"Sean our discussion has to do with our past not our future."  
  
"That's not true Elana it has to do with our past and future, but I don't want to get into it on the phone I just wanted you to know about Sheridan. I wasn't gonna tell you, but you know I never could keep anything from you."  
  
They sat in silence for a few seconds and Sean wondered if Elana had anything else to say. After she did not respond he decided that he would leave her alone until she came to him with a time for them to get together.   
  
"Well, I need to go. I guess I'll see you Monday morning you can let me know then what you decide unless you want to wait and find out if Sheridan is actually pregnant or not."  
  
"No, Sean, I don't need to wait we can get together next week and talk about this. I think I'm ready to get it off my chest. So whenever is a good time for you I'll be ready."  
  
"Hum, what about now."  
  
"Now? Oh I don't think so Sean it's almost 1am and you know I'm not a night person."  
  
"Yeah, I know. I was just kidding anyway. I'm actually in Connecticut with my grandfather, but maybe at lunch sometime next week or dinner, maybe?"  
  
"Well I'm going to be pretty busy next week interviewing another department and we probably need more time than lunch. So what about next weekend?"  
  
"Ok. How does Saturday night sound?"  
  
"That's good. Maybe around 5 or 6?"  
  
"Yeah, maybe we can do an early show, then a nice dinner and talk for as long as we need to. I can pick you up at your place if you trust me with your address."  
  
"Yes, I trust you Sean."  
  
They finished their conversation and Elana gave Sean her address and directions to her home. The rest of the night she couldn't sleep thinking about how good he sounded on the phone. She had almost forgotten that and enjoyed the goose bumps she felt when he was talking to her. She drifted off to sleep dreaming about how the two of them would sometimes stay on the phone from the early evening until dawn.  
  
The following week Sean and Elana were both anxious to get together. Sean was anxious because he was hoping that Elana would agree to give them another chance. He was also anticipating news from Sheridan about her condition hoping she would not be pregnant and his dealings with her could come to a complete end. Elana kept herself busy with work and refused a few invitations to go out with James that Saturday night. Finally Friday arrived and it was at the end of the day when Sean made his way over to Elana's office and knocked on the door.  
  
"Come on in."  
  
Sean opened the door and saw Elana sitting at her desk with her reading glasses on and examining a pile of paperwork.  
  
"I certainly hope you don't have to finish any of this by Monday." Sean said looking concerned that her work would hinder them from getting together the next day.  
  
Elana looked up at him and smiled inwardly once she saw Sean's serious concern and knew he probably thought she would cancel out for Saturday. "No, Sean, don't worry. I should be finished with this by noon tomorrow and if not I'll finish it on Sunday sometime.  
  
"You mean you can finish all of this by tomorrow. Elana you really don't have to work that hard. You should relax a little on the weekend."  
  
"I do sometimes. I'm just trying to get this thing done so that you won't have to pay me so much money and have an exorbitant fee on your income statement this year.  
  
"Well, in that case carry on." He said and they both laughed it off. "So are you ready for tomorrow night."  
  
"Yes, I'm ready I guess."  
  
"Good, I'm looking forward to it." He said as he turned to leave but before he was out the door he turned back around. "There's something I think I need to ask you."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
Smiling broadly he asked "Do you believe in kissing on the first date?"  
  
"Now why would you ask me that. I didn't know this was a date, I thought it was more of a meeting?" Elana was happy that he couldn't tell she was blushing.  
  
"It is -- it is a meeting, but hopefully it'll turn into a date, and I asked because if it does I want to know beforehand how far I can go."  
  
"You of all people should already know the answer to that one."  
  
"Hey, I'm not presuming that I know everything about you. You may have changed your standards in 9 years. At least I'm hoping you have. I'm was just checking."  
  
"Well, I guess you'll have to wait and see."  
  
"Are you teasing me Elana?"  
  
"You tell me after tomorrow night."  
  
"Ok I'll pick you up at 5:30 sharp."  
  
"Ok."  
  
Sean winked at her then turned back around to leave. His thoughts were happy ones as he contemplated what would happen after tomorrow night. He had already decided that whatever Elana told him was the reason for her departure he would forgive her. He hoped that she would consent to their trying again because he didn't want to waste anymore time with her being out of his life. He wanted her and everyday he could feel his love for her rejuvenating. 


	27. SECRETS REVEALED

Saturday morning Elana awakened anxious. She felt like everything was going wrong: she could not concentrate on her work, her hair would not act right and she could not find the right thing to wear. She was really nervous and just could not get it together, but eventually she conquered her nerves and at 5:15 she was ready. She had elected to wear a midnight blue, satin, sleeveless elegant straight dress with a matching formal satin full flowing coat. She pulled her hair up allowing heavy strands to fall to one side. After a few minutes of reassuring herself that she looked ok for the night, she heard her bell ring. Taking a deep breath she went to the door. Upon opening it she and Sean faced each other almost in shock. He was standing in a pair of neat Dockers with a black turtleneck , a black suede blazer with casual shoes and she was dressed to the nines.  
  
"Woe. You look great!" Sean exhorted as he began to come into her townhouse.  
  
"Thank you." Elana said letting him in and closing the door behind him. "Uh, it looks like I overdressed though."  
  
"No, you're definitely not OVER dressed." Sean said taking her by the arm and turning her around to look her over.  
  
Elana blushed unnoticeably, "I mean too dressed up for what you may have had in mind."  
  
Sean smiled out of the side of his mouth and answered saying "Yeah you are way too dressed for what I have on my mind." He said rubbing his chin between his fingers.  
  
"Sean, stop it! Now if you're going to be bad maybe we can do this some other time."  
  
"Oh, no. I plan to be good. Tonight anyway." He said. Elana tried to ignore his remark as she led him into her living room.  
  
While they walked to the room Sean commented again on her attire. "I love that dress on you. You make it look spectacular."  
  
"Thanks. You said a show and a nice dinner, so I presumed you meant a Broadway show and a not so shabby dinner afterwards."  
  
"When I told you that back in college you took it to mean a movie and a nice down home cooked meal from a local restaurant or something."  
  
"I'm sorry. I guess I assumed..."  
  
"Assumed what? That I'd be like the other men you've been dating since you broke up with me. I guess your uptown boys have been spoiling you pretty well, huh?" He asked scanning her face for his answer.  
  
"I would not call it spoiling. I've just gotten used to some things."  
  
"As you should Elana." Sean said recognizing that she deserved to assume a man would always take her out to nice places. "Look I just wanted us to be able to get together and talk. I did not want to be concerned about impressing each other, at least not tonight, but if you prefer I can pick up a suit at a shop and we can go somewhere really nice. I do not care where we go, I just want us to be able to spend some time together and sort things out."  
  
"No, Sean you don't have to do that. You're right. I can go change right quick." She said as she started to turn around.  
  
Sean grabbed her hand, turned her around to face him and pulled her closer to him so that he could look into her brown eyes as he asked, "Need some help getting out of that dress."  
  
Elana paused for a moment as they looked at each other and she felt her knees about to give out, which had always been her normal reaction whenever he looked at her that way. She gained her composure, somewhat, then responded as she removed her hand from his and then ran her fingers down the front of his chest. "I'll let you know if I'm having any trouble." She said with a soft smile on her face.  
  
Sean raised his eyebrows from the sensation he felt when her hands ran down his chest and he wondered if she was finally flirting with him. He was not sure, but decided to take it as such. "Maybe I'll just come with you, so that I'll be close by if you do have any trouble."  
  
"Humph." Was Elana's only response as she turned and went toward her bedroom to change. As she walked away she had told him to take a look around and if he wanted anything from the fridge he could help himself. While she was gone Sean took the liberty to look around. He thought Elana had done an excellent job of decorating the place with African, Expressive Art. He admired her taste and wished for a moment that this had been their place together with maybe a few kids running around. After a few minutes he sat down in the comfortable leather chair and waited. After about fifteen minutes Elana returned wearing a pair of crème colored wool slacks and a black buttoned-down boat necked, angora wool sweater that accented her perfectly formed breasts. She also had on black loafers with a one-inch block heel and her thick wavy, brown hair had been brushed out to hang to her shoulders. She also had removed her makeup and replaced it with only a lightly colored lip-gloss.  
  
When she came back into the living room. Sean thought he felt his heart skip a beat. Elana looked really casual, and her natural beauty was more apparent than ever. He remembered seeing her at the library so many years ago and he felt warm inside just as he had then when he finally laid his eyes upon her. "You ready?"  
  
"Yes, lead the way, kind sir." She said after she found her black wool blazer from her hall closet.  
  
"Sean took her by the arm and they left her townhouse headed for the movie theater.   
  
During the drive they talked some about the car.  
  
"Sean is this the same car you had during your last year of high school?"  
  
"Yes, it is. I have tried to keep her running and so far she has not let me down."  
  
"Wow! That's a long time to keep a car. What's it been, 13 or 14 years? Even after you started making your own money you never got anything else?"  
  
"Nope." He said smiling and remembering why.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I'm just a simple man Elana with simple pleasures. I had a lot of memories tied up in this car." He answered. Slightly turning his head toward her he added "Some better than others." He returned to watching the road as he continued speaking "and I've just tried to keep it around for as long as I can to kinda keep those memories alive."  
  
Elana could not help but see his reference to their first make out session in the Spring of 1985, over 13 years now, and she tried not to react when he looked at her. She remembered that day too and she was glad that Sean thought so much of it that he would try to keep the car around all of these years. They continued on to the movies reflecting on their past.  
  
After the movie, they both came out laughing, recalling funny points that they liked. Sean was holding onto Elana by her waist as they walked to his car and he opened the door for her then got in himself. On their way to the restaurant, they continued to talk and laugh about the movie and compare it to others they used to see together. A few minutes later Sean pulled up to "The Silver Dawn" an all night diner. "Is this ok. We can get a private booth and they stay opened all night."  
  
"This is great, Sean. Let's go on in!" Elana felt like a young girl again. She had forgotten how much fun she and Sean had together and she was really enjoying their simple night together. She dreaded the thought of drudging up the sad part of their past and decided that she would put it off as long as possible.  
  
Inside the diner they were seated and given their menus. Elana was nervous about their pending conversation, so she continued their discussion about the movie. Sean had become noticeably quiet just agreeing with whatever Elana said. They ordered their meals and Elana tried to start another conversation while Sean sat all the way back in his seat looking intently at her.  
  
"So what did you do after grad school?" Elana asked trying to move to another subject to avoid the inevitable.  
  
Sean was silent for a moment then he answered. "Right before my last year when I first received your letter I thought it was a joke. I showed Sam and was telling him how funny you could be. Then I got on the telephone to call you in Georgia, but the desk person said you had moved out. I assumed you had found a place and were planning on surprising me by coming up early. I waited a day or two for your call, but it never came. Then I got worried, so I called the admissions office and asked when you started classes. They told me that you had withdrawn, but they would not tell me where your records were sent. Then I called your house, but your father hung up on me when I asked him where you were. Finally I decided to go to Spellman and ask around about you, so I hopped on a plane at the last minute and spent the day trying to get information, but no one would cooperate. They said that I was asking confidential information and they could not give it out. That was the end of the first week."  
  
"The next week, I put an ad in the Georgia and Connecticut papers with your picture asking if anyone knew where you were. Most people who called thought I was some sicko trying to lure women, so I dropped the ads. At the end of the 3rd week and the first week of class I went to Connecticut to confront your father. He told me that you realized you did not need to be with a white man and that you had another boyfriend and did not want anything to do with me anymore, so you changed schools. He practically threw me out of the house, and told me that he'd have me arrested for stalking if I ever came back."  
  
"After that I just lost it. I refused to go to classes so I went home and told my father that I was not going back to school until I found you. He convinced me that you were not worth throwing away my future for if you had just abandoned me like that. Eventually I agreed with him, on the outside at least, so I went back to school. Inside I was a wreck. I had to go to school an extra semester to get my Masters because I failed most of the requirements the first go around. I knew I had to get myself together after Sam saw me staring out an open window of our apartment. The screen had been removed and it was January, cold as ice. He came in and pulled me out away from it and helped me realize that I was going crazy and that I was on the edge of doing something stupid if I did not get myself together. So after that, he spent a lot of time with me even when he finished and got his law degree he stayed with me until I finished. I guess he thought I would jump out that window if I were alone."  
  
"After that it had been a little over a year since your letter, so I decided I needed to be with other women to forget about you. I tried my best and I went through a few of them, but after that three-year phase I still could not forget you. The next three years I engrossed myself in my work. I dated one woman inconsistently until she finally decided that she needed more of a commitment. Eventually Sheridan broke me down and I started dating her, thinking that she was so beautiful that I could find some measure of happiness with her, but I soon realized her beauty was skin deep, but I settled because I had no false hopes of ever finding someone like you. I felt that had been taken away from me for some terrible thing I had done, so I believed. I had managed to suppress any emotions and feelings I had because they had all been tied up in you, so I felt it was best that I get rid of them to try and make a future with Sheridan, who never missed the emotion."  
  
"But then after I thought I had found a measure of stability in my life, I find myself sitting at the conference table at Crealite staring at your name "Elana Powers". With those two words, all of those bound up feelings and emotions came rushing back to me like an avalanche. I could not move or speak. I prayed to God that your company would not be chosen and I did not even take the time to review your specs. I even forfeited my vote telling the board that I wanted it to be solely their decision and what do you know they vote you in unanimously. I guess the rest you know. Except that when I first saw you all I could think about as I was holding your hand was: 'This woman was to be my wife and lover and the mother of my children. She was everything to me, but she left and now she stands before me what am I supposed to do. How am I supposed to handle this? Should I act like I never knew her? Should I pretend to be just an old friend? Or should I hold her in my arms and try to convince her to take me back so that I can make her happy and rectify whatever I did to make her leave me.' I told myself that I could spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, if you would only tell me why. Why you left, when you knew you were the only woman in the world for me and I thought I was the only man for you. Why? Why did you do it Elana?"  
  
Elana did not know what to say. Tears were streaming down her face as she tried to wipe them with her hands, but they were flowing too freely to be swept away. After a few minutes she responded. "I did not want to separate myself from you Sean, but at the time I felt it was the best thing to do. Our families were not agreeable to our being together and I felt that if I went against that it would only make it harder for us both. I felt that if you married me your father would disown you and you'd be without a family and eventually you would blame me for it and hate me because you had been alienated. I did not want that on my shoulders Sean and I thought it was best if I just went away and allowed you to find someone whom your father and grandfather would approve of. I thought your life would be easier without me. I never intended to hurt you that much. I had hoped that I would absorb most of the pain, which I felt I did. It was almost like torture to not be able to hold you or call and hear your soothing voice or look into your eyes as you looked at me your special way when I knew there was nothing there but pure love for me and I would melt. I could not stand the thought of that look of love turning into one of disdain and regret, so I did what I thought was best. I left."  
  
"But was that really best. I have not been the same person since Elana and you, I know you have gained a reputation of being cold as ice and I never would have described you that way even when you were serious about something. Do you think you accomplished what you set out to do?"  
  
"I don't know Sean, I don't know." She said sobbing.  
  
"And what is this about me being ousted from my family. My father would never disown me if he truly saw how much we loved each other. He could not do something like that and live with himself. My father is a good man and he loves my mother, so he understands what true love is. He would never give me an ultimatum like that. I can't believe you would even think that."  
  
"I did not think it Sean." Elana was slightly angered that Sean did not even know his own father. Even she knew her father and she would not put something like this past him if the shoe were on the other foot.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean I did not think he would do such a thing. I knew he would."  
  
"Elana you're talking crazy. You do not even know my father how could you say you know something like that about him?"  
  
"Because he told me so."  
  
"He told you what?"  
  
"He told me that if I did not leave you alone that he would disown you and that you would be left penniless with no ties to your family."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I'm talking about your father Phillip. He called me in July of '89 a little over a month after you left and he told me in so many words to leave you alone or you'd be kicked out and that he would not finish paying for your education.  
  
Sean was stunned trying to remember what happened after he went home from seeing Elana. He remembered the altercation he and his father had about the phone calls he had been making to Elana. Sean also remembered them arguing over his father's constant disparaging remarks about Elana trying to use him to get somewhere in life. Sean had refused to listen to those unfounded accusations and told his father that his personal life was none of his business and that he should just stay out of it. He could not imagine his father being so adamant against his relationship with Elana that he would threaten her in any way, but now as Elana sat across from him crying, Sean was convinced that it must be true. Now he could see that she left to protect him not wanting him to lose ties with his family just to prove that he loved her. At the same time he was saddened that she did not have enough confidence in his love for her to know that they could have worked through that obstacle. "So what exactly did he say Elana?" Sean wanted to go over to her and hold her in his arms to comfort her, but he wanted to get the whole story before he was overcome with his own emotions.  
  
Elana sat back and recalled everything that Phillip Logan had said to her. She knew she could never forget it because it had been a large part of her existence since its impact on her life so many years ago...  
  
_______________  
  
July 1989  
  
Georgia  
  
Elana and Gail were planning a shopping trip that weekend so that Elana could get some new things for her apartment in Boston. Elana had planned to meet Sean in Boston during the last weekend of the month, so that he could help her pick out a place. Happy thoughts of the two of them being able to spend everyday together was almost too much for her, but Gail helped her appreciate that she deserved it.  
  
"Girl, I can only guess what you and Sean are going to be doing on your first night in Boston."  
  
"No we won't Gail. We plan to wait until we get married after I finish getting my Masters."  
  
"Girl, that 's 2 years from now. Do you seriously think you're going to be able to stay away from that good looking man for that long especially since you're always going to be together. If it was me I know I'd be all over him."  
  
"Sean's not like that he respects me and my need to do this. We want our first time together to be special and that can only happen on our wedding night."  
  
"Well, he has got to love you because I do not know no man who will wait on a woman for let's see four years now. Are you sure he ain't doing nobody else until you guys get married?"  
  
"Gail, don't say things like that. Sean and I love each other. I have no reason to suspect that he would do anything like that to me. He would just come out and tell me that he can't wait anymore and that he wanted to see other people. He would not sneak around on me."  
  
"Well all I have to say is, if you're smart you'll just go ahead and get married and keep it a secret until you finish. I do not see how in the world you have been able to keep him away from you all this time." The two women continued with their conversation as Elana finished getting ready for them to go out.  
  
Right as they were headed toward the door, the phone rang and Elana pushed the speakerphone button as she always did. "Hello?"  
  
"Hello. Is this Elana Powers?"  
  
"Yes, it is. May I ask who's calling?"  
  
"This is Phillip Logan. Sean's father."  
  
Elana was speechless for a moment as she and Gail looked at each other. Then she finally responded. "Mr. Logan. I didn't expect to hear from you. Is Sean ok?"  
  
"No, Ms. Powers he's not o.k. As a matter of fact he seems to be a totally different person."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I'm talking about your influence over my son. I do not know how long this thing between the two of you has been going on but it has to come to a stop. I know how you black women try to get your claws in eligible young white men, especially someone like my son who stands to be a very wealthy and prominent in the near future. I do not know what types of kinky things you've done to him, but he has the notion that he's going to marry you. I suspect that you've gone and gotten yourself pregnant , which is the reason he's so anxious to marry you. But you can forget about any children you have with Sean having any association to this family. I am telling you right now Ms. Powers that if you think you can use your feminine wiles to seduce my son into marriage you will be very sorry! I'll personally make sure that he is fully disinherited and then shunned from the family. You won't see one red penny and he'll be forced to make it on his own! I'm sure your own father won't be too happy about this either and I intend to let him know what has been going on. I hope that I have made myself perfectly clear in this matter."  
  
Elana was in shock as tears rolled down her face at the accusations Phillip Logan wielded toward her. She could not believe that someone could be so cruel toward someone whom he'd never met. She became frightened for Sean and had no doubt that his father would make good on his promises. She did not want that for him and she could see that she did not want anything to do with Sean's family if they promulgated behavior like Phillip Logan. She surmised that if she continued with Sean that he too would eventually feel the same way about her as his father did, so finally she responded to Phillip. "You've made yourself clear Mr. Logan. You do not have to worry about me getting my black claws into your white son." She said and pushed the speaker phone button hanging up on the man.  
  
"What in the hell did you hang up for. I would have cussed his ass out for saying those things to me. As a matter of fact give me that phone." Gail pushed *69 and when Phillip picked up she ranted off innumerable descriptive expletives to him not allowing for a response just as he had done Elana. Then when she was finished she hung up. Gail had basically told him that he had best be glad that it was Elana and not her and she let him know that Sean had been begging to sleep with Elana for years and she had resisted him. After the conversation Gail stayed around and comforted her friend who was torn between what she wanted and what she felt she needed to do.  
  
After a few days of thinking about it Elana finally decided to write Sean the letter and she withdrew from Harvard then transferred to the University of Pennsylvania instead to be with Gail.  
  
____________  
  
1998  
  
The Silver Dawn Diner  
  
"So that was that. I had always hoped that you would find me. I called my father everyday asking him if you had called, but he always said no and talked me into the fact that you were happy to have had an easy way out of the relationship without having to hurt me in the process, but I was already hurting. I slung myself into my studies and ended up graduating at the top of my class. I did not date anyone until my final 3 months in school. He was a Psychiatry major, but it did not work out because you were always on my mind and he figured that out. Afterwards, I met Jon and we started the company and that's pretty much been my escape for the past seven years. I tuned men out because as I saw it, they were a deterrent to my progress and I did not want anyone thinking I needed a man to help me get anywhere. Thus, I was labeled as hard to deal with because I did not smile in men's faces and try to sweet talk them into anything.  
  
"Did you and Jon ever date?"  
  
"Yes, we did at first, but I cut it off because I thought it started to interfere with our professional judgement. He was not too happy about it, but that's the way it goes I guess. He rebounded and has since more than compensated himself with other young women."  
  
"Did you ever fall in love with anyone else?"  
  
"No. I did not. Not like it was with you and me. I thought I was in love with Henry, but I was not. I was in love with the idea of loving him, but I could never make it a reality."  
  
Sean got up from his seat and went over to sit next to Elana. He took her in his arms and hugged her as she cried and he shed his own tears. "I'm sorry Elana."  
  
"You did not do anything to be sorry for. It was me."  
  
"No, I have to share some of the blame because I did not make you believe that I loved you enough to not care about leaving my family. Is not there a Scripture somewhere that says 'a man will leave his father and mother and he will stick to his wife.' That's what I would have done Elana if you had just told me, but somehow I failed in letting you know that I felt that strongly about you. When you were close to me, nothing else mattered. My whole world could have crumbled around me as long as we were together. I would not have cared because I knew we could overcome anything together, including my father's hard heart. We've wasted so much time, not knowing these things. I will tell you now that I have always loved you. There's never been anyone else. I think I knew you before I knew myself. Elana, it's my hope that we can start over and I want you to give me a chance to show you that I'd do anything for you regardless of what anyone thinks."  
  
"But what about the fact that I'm black Sean and your family will always be against our being together. That has to eventually take some type of toll on you. Dono' you think?"  
  
"I told you Elana, that does not matter to me. All that matters is that we want to be together. When I look at you I do not even see your color."  
  
"But maybe that's the problem Sean. I want you to see my color. I love, embrace and am proud of being black. There is beauty and strength in it. I would not want to be anything else. It only becomes a problem when people like your father associate my color with something negative that prevents them from giving me a job, riding in peace down a highway, walking in certain neighborhoods or just being in love with their children. I could go on and on. To say that you do not see my color tells me you do not want to see color because it bothers you for some reason. And, I think in today's society to be colorblind is very unrealistic, such that it has affected us to the extent that even though we loved each other immensely, it was our different races that separated us."  
  
"Color did not separate us Elana, ignorance and pride did."  
  
Elana looked at Sean intently and knew he was right.  
  
"Look I know you're as tired as I am, so can I take you home and we can talk some more tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah, that sounds good."  
  
Sean fanned the waitress down for their check, paid it and he and Elana left with him holding her across her shoulders as they walked to the car. 


	28. REUNITED

Once Sean parked in the parking lot of Elana's townhouse, he got out then opened the car for Elana and walked her to her door. When she retrieved the key from her purse, Sean took it and unlocked the apartment for her.  
  
"Why don't you go and check to see that everything is alright and I'll stay here until you get back." He asked Elana as she removed her blazer and put it in the closet.  
  
Elana did as he asked and came back to let him know everything was ok.  
  
"Sean, I can only imagine how you're feeling right now if it's anything near what I'm feeling. I want you to know that at the time I felt like I did not have a choice and that leaving was the only way I could protect you."  
  
"I don't want to talk about the past anymore. Now I know what happened and I know what I have to do. I just need to know that you're going to give us another chance and that you're not going to run away from me again?"  
  
Elana did not know how to answer his question because she was not exactly sure of what he was asking. She never fathomed that it was possible for them to get back together and now with the reality of it before her, she almost could not believe it. Sean could tell she did not really understand what he had just asked, so he moved in closer to her and put his hand on her face as his fingers entwined with her hair. "I need to know that you're going to give me a chance to show you how much I still love you. I never stopped Elana. If I didn't get that across to you earlier I want you to know that. I still love you just as much as I did before, if not more now, if that could be possible. Will you give us that chance Elana? Please?"  
  
Elana held her hand against his on her cheek as she rested her head on his hand. She now saw fully what he was offering her. 'How could she refuse' she thought to herself as he mesmerized her with his endless stare and that boyish look she loved so much. She thought she would get lost in him if she continued to search his clear blue eyes. She answered the only way she could. "Yes, Sean. I will."  
  
Sean was more than happy with her answer and felt a need to claim her in some way branding her so that no one else could take her away from him. He slowly closed into her inviting expression and placed soft, slow kisses on her full lips. After more than a few of these kisses Sean crooned to her "I know you don't usually do this on the first date?"  
  
"No I don't." Elana whispered.  
  
"I'm glad it's not our first date." He sighed. They both felt overcome with a desire to have more of each other so Elana wrapped her arms around Sean's neck as he moved his hand to the back of he hair and wrapped his other arm around her waist. They pressed themselves together as their interlocking tenderly reflected the feverish build up within them both. The more intense Sean became Elana would matched him. Sean could not help but be taken aback by her natural scent which he'd never forgotten and the sweet taste of her tongue that he had longed for all of these years. He had not felt this way in so long and he was not about to relinquish it, not yet. Elana's began to sigh quietly from the passion as she massaged the back of Sean's neck and he knew she was giving him the signal to go as far as he wanted. Almost involuntarily, while he was still kissing her, Sean moved her back up against the front door and removed his blazer. He then placed his left hand tightly around her buttocks squeezing her into his groin as he slowly began to release each button of her black angora sweater with his free hand. The swell of her breast breaking free from the garment weakened him as he anticipated feeling her lush body once again and after partially opening her sweater, he slid his trembling hand under her lace bra and cupped her left breast. His own incoherent expressions were now released, because of his remembering how full and perfectly formed she felt in his large hands. He gently squeezed her and lingered there basking in the soft silky feel of her. He then began to kiss her face, chin and neck while she held her head back for him to continue exploring her as much as he wanted. She instinctively pulled his shirt out of his slacks and slid her hands underneath to explore his broad, muscular chest.  
  
Elana could feel the swelling in his slacks, pressing hard against her and wondered how much longer it would take for him to have her. The moment he began to kiss her she had decided she was not going to resist him, not now, not ever again, because just as she had told Gail, she was not as strong as she had been in high school and college. In fact where Sean was concerned she had no self-control anymore. She had exhausted that control on others that tried to invade the wall she built around her. Now, Sean had simply come and torn it down.   
  
As he feasted on his single favorite part of Elana's neck, from which he knew brought her the most pleasure, he wished so much that they were married so that he could father a child with her. He was almost 33 and these things were missing in his life until now. Being with Elana like this made him see how much time had been wasted and it was as if the years had gone by in a matter of days and now they were back together and everything they wanted together was set before them.  
  
These thoughts started Sean to thinking about Sheridan and a possible child with her and he realized that he and Elana had just had such an emotional discussion. So even though he wanted nothing more than to make love to Elana, he did not want to take the chance of her stopping him like she always had before or of him making the same mistake with her as he may have with Sheridan. Even though he would consider it more of a blessing than a mistake. He surmised that there would be plenty of time for them to be together. What he wanted to do most was woo her first and then ask her to marry him as soon as possible. He saw no need for a long dating process. They'd already done that. He wanted to pick up where they left off so he just had to wait for the right time. Along with that, he knew they would have to plan how to deal with his and Sheridan's child, if there was one. So he reluctantly decided to wait and slowly pulled her bra back over her breast and started to button her sweater back up.  
  
Elana was surprised that he was working backwards and did not want him to stop. "Don't stop honey, please don't stop..." Elana whispered as her hands began to unbuckle his belt while he continued to ravage her neck.  
  
Elana pleading and undressing him was something new and Sean realized that if she asked again and got his pants opened, it would be all over because he would not be able to stop. So gently removing her hand from his buckle, Sean spoke while he kissed her cheeks on one side then the other. "Don't temp me sweetheart. I think we need to quit while we're ahead."  
  
With her hands caressing his chest again, Elana responded. "Why Sean? We know this is what we both want."  
  
With a deep sigh Sean exhorted, "Elana, as much as I want to make love to you, there are still some pending things in my life that I need to take care of. I want you to be fully aware of what you may be dealing with."  
  
Elana remembered that he had told her about Sheridan and suddenly the thought of him sleeping with and fathering a child with another woman ruined the mood. Elana took her hands out from under Sean's shirt and rubbed her chin and chest as she sighed and rested her arms around her body to quell the euphoria she was feeling. "Yeah, I guess you're right." She said. "Have you heard anything from Sheridan?"  
  
"No not yet." Sean said after releasing her, rebuckling his pants and picking up his blazer. He threw the blazer over the steel banister and put his hands in his pockets to keep them off of Elana. His desire for her was quickly being replaced with disdain and frustration at what he had done with Sheridan.  
  
Elana was frustrated too, so she turned to walk down the few steps into her living room. She went over to her love seat, kicked off her shoes and fell into it, then rested her arms on the armrest and put her feet up behind her. Sean followed and sat beside her, then put his arms up on the other armrest and rubbed his forehead in his hand.  
  
"What's taking her so long to let you know. All she has to do is take a pregnancy test."  
  
"Sheridan is not about to take a home pregnancy test. That's for the uncivilized people. She'll probably go to one of the best doctors so that he can check her out and tell her whether she's pregnant or not. And that being the case she probably does not have an appointment until next month some time. You know how long you have to wait for a specialist to get an appointment."  
  
"Yeah." Elana sighed and rested her head down on her arm.  
  
Sean laid his head back and sat facing upward putting his hands on his thighs.  
  
"Do you make it a habit of having unprotected sex?" Elana asked trying to comfort herself about why it was good that they had not been so spontaneous.  
  
"It was the first and only time I'd ever done that. I never slept with a woman without a condom before, but I guess because I was drunk trying to get you out of my head.... She said that I practically raped her, and that I refused to use any protection. "  
  
"What do you mean 'she said'?"  
  
"I told you I was drunk. That was the night she told me she was going to seek you out for that business deal, and she showed me your picture on the cover of two magazines. I was already dealing with facing you soon at work after so long. Then the pictures, my relationship with her:... I just couldn't handle it all, so I got a bottle of vodka to help me drown you and her out."  
  
"So you don't even know if you slept with her at all?"  
  
"No, I don't. All I remember is getting drunk and waking up in a chair at my parents' house. But, I don't guess she would lie about something as serious as that."  
  
"Humph, I bet she would; especially, after you just broke up with her. She's probably stalling trying to figure out how to get you back and get you into bed so that she can really get pregnant."  
  
"She knows that's not possible. Before that night we had not been together in almost eight months."  
  
"Eight months!"  
  
"Yeah can you believe it. We had unprotected sex after eight months of abstinence and I don't even remember it. You would think that after so long without it, I would remember some of what happened at least."  
  
"I would not know about that."  
  
Sean looked at her and let out a small laugh as he put his hand on the side of her thigh. "Well that's pretty much how the relationship went Elana. It was convenient and everyone just thought we were the perfect couple. Maybe we were picture-perfect, but that's as far as it went. Nobody in the picture would have been happy."  
  
Elana did not respond. She only listened as Sean lamented about his last loveless relationship. Afterwards they both sat silently for a few minutes. Sean stared at the ceiling and Elana stared out into the living room.  
  
Needing to be close to her, he asked, "Can you come over here with me." Elana willingly turned around then Sean pulled her feet and legs across his thighs and she rested her head on his shoulder and draped her hand on his chest. Sean held her around her shoulders and wrapped his hand around hers on his chest and they both fell listlessly asleep, wondering how a baby and thus a permanent bond with Sheridan Winthrop would impact their own re-blossoming love for each other. 


	29. A LITTLE SUSPENSE & A FEW SURPRISES

Part 29: A LITTLE SUSPENCE & A FEW SURPRISES  
  
Sunday morning at around 5:30am Elana awakened as she always did. She was happy that Sean was still next to her and before she actually got up from the couch she snuggled up close to him for a while. They had leaped across a hurdle that had been keeping them apart and now she was fully ready to move on to the next phase. She knew that Phillip Logan would eventually reenter the picture and have something to say, but this time she was not going to let him back her down. She knew that Sean loved her as much as she loved him and she did not want to be the cause of anymore pain they would both suffer if they were separated again. She finally decided to get up and respond to the needs of Mother Nature. When she stood on her feet, Sean stirred and pulled her back down on top of him.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"I have to go to the bathroom."  
  
"I don't know if I should let you. I don't want you to get away from me again."  
  
"I promise I'll be back, just lay back and finish getting some sleep. It's still early"  
  
Sean let her go and glanced at his watch then laid down on his side in a fetal position across the length of the sofa. Elana could tell that he was not ready to start his day so she went into her bedroom and decided to take a long relaxing bath. It would sooth her and help her not think too much about how strongly attracted she was still to Sean. Age had only made him better and she thought about what type of lover he would be. From the brief demo she had last night there were no doubts in her mind about his being able to fulfill her own pinned up desires. She had realized last night that she subconsciously might have been waiting for Sean. The fact that she started to unbuckle his belt had been unfathomable to her whenever she was with any other man. That involuntary act alone only confirmed how much she wanted and needed Sean to make love to her. It was as if her body knew that this was the man for her and that now was the time to unleash whatever she had held back from the few men in her past. She had never thought about how she would seduce a man before, but now as she ran her bath water and removed her clothing innumerable thoughts raced through her head about how she could seduce Sean.  
  
She wondered about Sheridan and her pending pregnancy. She could not imagine how drunk Sean was to not remember what happened. She had never known him to drink a lot and she definitely had never seen him drunk, so she figured his drinking had to be a result of his circumstances at the time. If Sheridan was to have Sean's baby what would that mean for her future with him. What would people think when they were all together and more importantly how would Sheridan take the news that she and Sean were together? Would she think that Sean had left her pregnant for a black woman and if she did feel that way would she use the child to put a wedge between her and Sean? There were just so many questions, but Elana decided to just wait and see before she began to come to any conclusions. After preparing herself, turning on the stereo system from the wall, Elana stepped into her whirlpool bath, laid back and relaxed.  
  
It was 6:15am when Sean woke up. He rubbed his eyes trying to think where he was and then he remembered. At first he thought he had dreamed the whole night, but he was happy to see that it was a reality. He sat up wondering where Elana had gotten to so early and remembered she had to go to the bathroom. He could not imagine what was taking her so long and realized that women usually took their time whenever they went into the bathroom, so he decided to make her some tea and some coffee for himself. He made his way to the kitchen to search for what he needed. After he had started the coffee pot and the tea kettle, he went outside to his car to retrieve his overnight bag, which he generally kept in his trunk in case he decided to stay overnight in Connecticut or if he wanted to go to the gym right after work. He had seen yesterday's newspaper in Elana's living room and looked for the Sunday edition when he went outside, but he did not see it. When he came back into the townhouse he noticed that Elana still had not come out of her bedroom yet.  
  
He headed toward the spare room to take a shower, figuring she would be out by the time he finished. He took his bags into the guestroom and removed his clothing. He knew Elana liked it when he had a day's fuzz on his face, so he decided not to shave. He quickly showered using the sweet scented soap that Elana had in the tub and admired how everything was so feminine, unlike his own apartment, but he liked it and could see that he needed a woman's touch in his life.  
  
After showering he reached for one of the large white bath towels that was laid out for use and wrapped it around his waist, brushed his teeth, then he went into the bedroom to dry off and change. Just as he came out of the bathroom, he heard a noise as if something had fallen and wondered what it was. Sticking his head out the door, he called Elana, but she did not answer and he began to feel alarmed so he headed towards her bedroom to check on her.  
  
He walked over to her bedroom door and knocked but there was no answer, so he knocked again a little louder and still, no response. He turned the knob and opened the door, but Elana was nowhere in sight. All he heard was loud music coming from the back of the room, so walking through her bedroom he called her name and she still did not answer. When he came to the source of the music he turned the doorknob and opened the bathroom door, releasing some steam. His worry turned to relief when he saw Elana sitting with her back to him in the large tub filled with bubbles and a large bottle of bubble bath turned over on the floor. He could see that Elana had lost herself in  
  
the lyrics to the music of Rick James and Tina Marie (Fire & Desire) as her head swayed back and forth to the tempo. Her hair was pulled up and her neck was resting on the edge of the tub and both her arms on either side of the tub.  
  
Sean listened to the words, he knew she was thinking about the two of them. The words seemed to reflect their own relationship from the time he first saw her in his office to the day when he first kissed her after so long and she slapped him:   
  
When I laid eyes on you it was pain before pleasure...  
  
you were cold as ice. 'I was not very nice, I know.'   
  
Then I kissed your lips and you turned on my fire, and you showed me what a love could do. Fire & Desire, feeling good to you.   
  
You turned on my fire and you burned me up within your flame. Fire & Desire and we're both to blame...  
  
The lyrics trailed off in his mind and he knew that the music and Elana naked in a bathtub would be the end of him, making him forget all about the romance he had planned for her so he turned the volume down...  
  
"Hey!" Elana yelled as she turned to see what had happened to the sound. Upon seeing Sean standing there with his tanned-skin contrasting with the white towel, a pleasing smile formed on her face and she turned back around as she asked, "Did the paper man come to collect yet?"  
  
"No, the paper isn't out there."   
  
"So did you come in here to finish what you started last night?"  
  
Sean was walking over to the tub and he climbed the three steps and sat down on the landing beside her bath. He leaned down resting his arm on the rim and with his free hand he played with the air-filled bubbles that covered Elana's body. "Now what was it that I started last night?" He asked looking innocently at her.  
  
She could not help but be excited at the sight of him. His face and perfectly chiseled chest were shining from the warm mist that lingered in her bathroom and his short hair was wet but brushed back off of his lightly stubbled face. The white towel was pulled tight around his small waist and his strong hairy legs were rippling with muscles. "Something you obviously could not finish." Elana chided.  
  
Sean raised his eyebrow at her daring remark and he did not want to let her get away with it, but he was not going to let his male ego get in the way and decided to remember it for later. "I told you why I stopped and it did not have anything to do with me not being able to carry through."  
  
"That's what you said, but somehow I don't believe you. When we were in college you never would have stopped like you did, but I guess old age has made you less daring."  
  
Sean could not believe she was challenging him like this, so he decided to give her a memorable demonstration of how daring he would be once they were together permanently. Then he lowered his hand into the water and reached into her inner left thigh as he leaned over to her ear and whispered to her, as he gently caressed her soft, inviting orifice. "If you had come to Boston like you said you were, I was fully prepared to start something and finish it..." Then he loosely suckled her ear lobe, rolling it around with his tongue. Elana was enjoying what he was doing to her, and she instinctively ran her hands up the side of his muscular arm, around his broad shoulders and up his neck and rested her finger tips under his cheek while Sean moved his lips down the side of her face to below her chin. "But, you did not come to me..." He said as he carefully slid his forefinger inside her, causing them both to shudder and Elana squirmed underneath his subtle assault and moved back so that their lips could meet. Sean following her queue, grasped her bottom lip and slowly pulled it outward until he reached the end and released it. Now they were facing each other barely separated by space. Sean continued to caress her inside while he maintained a seriously sensual expression directed towards her waiting to see what she would do.  
  
"I'm here with you now Sean, and I'm ready to pick up where we left off."  
  
Sean smiled a devilish grin and Elana thought he was about to take her up on her offer and join her in the tub, but instead he removed his hand from her and the water...  
  
"But now, you're gonna have to wait Ms. Powers, at least until I fulfill that last promise I made to you." He said as he quickly kissed her on the lips before he stood up.  
  
"Sean, what are you doing?" Elana asked getting frustrated.  
  
Sean slid his finger down the front of her nose. "I'm going to get dressed. What else would I be doing?" He said as he walked toward the bathroom door."  
  
"Sean, you're not just going to leave me hanging like that are you. That's not fair!" She yelled at him as he got further away.  
  
Sean turned around and backed up to the doorway. "Neither were you for leaving, but don't worry. I promise not to make you wait nine years." He said smiling, as he increased the volume of the stereo system to its previous level.  
  
"I'm gonna get you Sean for doing that!" She shouted, playfully, as she reached down for the bottle of bubble bath that had earlier fallen. Sean knew she was aiming it at him, so he bolted out the door and closed it just as she threw the bottle at him and it hit the door. He opened the door back and stuck his head in.  
  
"I love you Elana!" He said as he winked at her and this time she threw the soap but hit the door again as he quickly closed it.  
  
Elana sat, smiling inwardly at Sean's playfulness and she remembered what he had last promised her. Marriage was something she had not really thought about until recently. She knew she would be turning 31 in a few weeks, and she had begun to contemplate a family, but at the time there were no suitable candidates because none of them could compare to the man who had just left her. This revelation made her even more happy that they had found each other again.  
  
In the meantime, when Sean was headed back to the guest room to change, the door bell rang, and he remembered that Elana mentioned the paper man would stop to collect. So he ran to get his wallet, but he had some trouble finding his pants. Before he could make it to the door the bell rang again and Sean was yelling "I'm coming, just hold up!" He said as he opened the door and stood face to face with Jon Lambert who was dressed in gray sweats and ready for his Sunday morning jog with Elana.   
  
Both men were in shock and did not know what to say for a few seconds. Sean was slightly embarrassed because he was standing in a towel in front of a business colleague and Jon just did not know what to think because he was under the impression that Elana was dating James Payton. Sean finally broke the silence by extending his hand and greeting Jon. He wanted to know why this guy was showing up at Elana's place so early in the morning and decided to establish his ground. "Hey Jon, how's it going? Is Elana expecting you? Come on in."  
  
"Apparently not." Jon said quietly still trying to sort this thing out as he came in and Sean closed the door.  
  
"Do you want me to go get her for you?"  
  
"Um. Man. Uh, Sean I'm sorry but you'll have to excuse me, I'm a little surprised right now at your being here. I thought Elana was dating your employee James Payton, the guy who was at the initial meeting with us?"  
  
"Uh, yeah. I think she was." Sean said, scratching his head.  
  
"Ohhhh. Kay!" Jon said with emphasis. He was seeing his partner in a whole different light now and it was totally out of character for her as far as he was concerned. He remembered when he dated her he never got within a mile of her house before a few months and she would not even kiss him until three months into their six months of dating. He surmised that these white men were trying to take advantage of her.  
  
While he was standing there thinking, Sean excused himself to go put on some clothes and he returned a few minutes later, wearing a pair of black Nike sweat pants, socks, shoes and a sleeveless T-shirt. By this time Jon was incensed. "So what exactly is going on here?"  
  
"I don't see how that's any of your business?" Sean was not intimidated by Jon's tone. "I'll go get Elana for you." He said as he turned around headed for Elana's bedroom.  
  
"Hey!" Jon exuded as he walked up close to Sean causing him to turn around. "Elana is my business partner and she's a very special person to me. I don't know you nor do I know James Payton, but I do know that Elana is a good person and this is not like her. I'd hate to find out that you two were playing some kind of game with her, because if she gets hurt in any way you're both gonna have to deal with me."  
  
"Nobody plays games with Elana she's smarter than that."   
  
"Well sometimes a man can get over on a woman no matter how smart she is. I happened to know that she went away with James two weeks ago and now you obviously spent the night with her, so whatever sick bet you two have going  
  
on, I think you'd better call it quits."  
  
Jon's reaction made Sean think that maybe Elana had not been totally honest about the extent of her relationship with him. "You don't have to give me any ultimatums. I'm here because Elana wanted me here and if you don't get out of my face, I'll deal with you right now."   
  
By this time Elana had finished her bath and threw on some stretch pants and a T-shirt. She heard the commotion going on in her living room and wondered why Sean had gotten into an argument with the paper delivery person. She left her bedroom and walked toward the living room and saw Sean and Jon about to go at each other.  
  
"Hey! What's going on here?"  
  
"Elana don't let these white guys play you like a fool. I know what they're doing and you don't need to be involved in anything like this."  
  
"Anything like what?" Elana asked. When she asked she realized that the situation did look bad because just 2 weeks ago she'd cancelled their jog indicating to him that she was going away with James and now Sean was answering her door at almost 7am on a Sunday morning. She could not help but laugh. "I know this looks strange, but it's not what you're thinking."  
  
"Well it looks pretty obvious to me Elana. You spend one weekend with one man and two weeks later you have his boss answering your door in a towel. If anyone finds out about this Elana, you know they'll say you're sleeping around to get contracts and our reputation will become dirt. It does not take much for the media to bash a successful minority company. You know they're always looking for something to bring us down and this will be just the catalyst they need to shoot Powers & Lambert down, especially after they've been trying so long. I can't believe that you would do this!"  
  
"Now wait just one minute Jon!" She walked down the steps to stand next to Sean holding him by the waist. "I'm just going to tell you this to keep you from worrying about the company, not because it's any of your business. Sean and I dated all through college and almost got married before things got complicated for me. He never knew why I broke up with him until last night, so we're getting those things settled. James on the other hand is just a friend and the other week he stayed at a hotel while I was at his house."  
  
"It just does not look good and you know I'm right about the media. They don't care about the truth. If they get a hold of this they'll have a field day!"  
  
Sean entered the conversation. "Jon, I don't think the media is that interested in your love lives. It's not like you're in the entertainment business. Elana has not done anything that could look bad on your company."  
  
"That's easy for you to say Sean Logan, because you're a white man. You have no idea what it's like to be a minority in this business world."  
  
"O.k. everybody. That's enough. Jon you do have some valid points and Sean and I plan to be careful, but I'm not going to allow you to come in here trying to run my life. God knows you've had enough women to fill up a couple of tabloid issues all by yourself, so mind your own business and I'll take care of mine."  
  
Jon could see that she was right, so he decided to lighten the mood. "So Sean are you the guy Elana could not keep her mind off of when we started dating 7 years ago?"  
  
"Well, I don't know." Sean said. Then he directed his words to Elana pulling her closer to him. "Was I that guy, Elana?" Sean could not deny that Jon was a handsome man. Even he had thought that they were romantically involved when he saw them together on the magazine cover, but now he was flattered with the notion that he was the only thing on her mind even while she was with Jon.  
  
"Yes. Yes you were Sean." She said as they looked at each other and smiled.  
  
"I see this is not going to be as easy as you two think. Maybe I should be going. I see that you don't need me to run with you today Elana." He then addressed Sean. "Sean, I'm sorry man, but you can just imagine what I was thinking."  
  
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to get anything started." Sean said patting him on his shoulder.  
  
Jon excused himself and Sean decided to jog with her after they had shared tea and coffee together. When they returned they both took a quick shower then dressed for the day. Sean indicated that he had some things to do and reluctantly said goodbye, gave her a delicate kiss and promised to see her that night, if possible.   
  
Later that evening Sean came back with Chinese food and old movies, both of which he knew she loved and probably had not indulged in for a while, so they stayed up late, ate Chinese and watched old movies. Eventually they fell asleep in each other's arms on some pillows in Elana's den. Sean awakened in the middle of the night and decided to go home because he had a long drive back and wanted to get to the office before Elana the next day.  
  
________  
  
Monday morning could not come soon enough for Elana. She felt different than she had ever felt before going in to work. When she parked she noticed that Sean's car was already there and she smiled to herself thinking that her influence had encouraged him to come in earlier than usual. When she got off the elevators, she even smiled and  
  
greeted Charlotte, who was surprised because Sean had come in half an hour earlier acting happier than ever usual also. She figured they must have both had a wonderful weekend. Charlotte saw Sean come in with a large paper bag filled with something, and he left it in Elana's office. After he had left, Charlotte took it upon herself to peek into the  
  
office to see what it was and when she saw it, she was confused because it seemed like such an odd thing to leave but she figured Elana had children and Sean had for some reason left it for her to take to them.  
  
When Elana went into her office she was happily surprised to see a card board painted, tree that was covered with what seemed to be over a hundred various flavored lollipops hanging from the tree limbs. The structure stood about waist high and it was sitting right next to her desk. The thought of what it took Sean to make it made her smile. As she stood looking it over wondering how he had put it together so fast, she heard his voice in the background. "Do you like it?"  
  
Elana turned around, smiled and walked slowly to meet him in the middle of the room. "Well Mr. Logan somebody left this tree here and I can't imagine who would know that I loved these things so much other than a certain handsome man I know, but I can't see how he had the time to do this in just a few hours.  
  
"Well maybe he went to a few overnight stores and collected the stuff, then stayed up all night putting it together." Sean said with his hands in his pockets.  
  
Elana put her arms around his neck and kissed him slowly on his lips. "When you see him, let him know I said thank you and that's it's the best thing anyone ever did for me."  
  
"I'll make sure he gets the message. Did you want to send anymore messages."  
  
Elana let him go then straightened her waist-length jacket. "Mr. Logan, I have a lot of work to do today and I can't have any distractions. I'm going to finish up that report I was working on Friday and tomorrow I'll start interviewing the Collections Department. I'll be using the same set of questions for every department. Will there be anything you need me for, because I may not be readily available."  
  
"Yes, Ms. Powers I will need you for a few things, which will be lunch today, lunch on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday."  
  
"Hmm, let me check my schedule." Elana said as she went to her desk and opened her Franklin planner. "It seems that I will be available for those times so I'll pencil you in."  
  
"Also, I'll need you for dinner on those same nights."  
  
"I usually don't mingle with my business associates after hours, so I guess you'll have to be my boyfriend after hours, just to make sure I don't confuse your roles."  
  
"Can I have that in writing?"  
  
"Where do I sign?"  
  
"O.k. You're funny Elana. I'll leave you to your work and I'll come by to get you for lunch at around 12:30." He said making his way out. Right as he left he stuck his head back in the door. "And I'll have those papers for you to sign during lunch." They both smiled at each other and he left.  
  
The rest of the week Elana worked diligently on her assignment and she and Sean shared lunch and dinner everyday. They elected to eat in New York City after work and usually they would go to a fairly decent restaurant, but nothing as formal as they both had been going to with other people. They were enjoying getting to know each other again.  
  
Elana successfully avoided James throughout the week and she and Sean conveniently forgot about Sheridan and the other dilemma that hung over their heads. They were just lost in each other. Near the end of the week when they would come back from lunch, Elana always had to remind Sean to let go of her before they got into the office or there would be a lot of talk flying around. Sean reluctantly complied because he really did not care who knew about the two of them together, but he understood her position and tried to be respectful of it.  
  
Their evenings would always end in a loving kiss outside of their cars, after dinner before they both parted for home. Afterwards, they both knew they wanted more, but Sean was determined not to be broken while Elana always teased him saying he was scared of her or that he must not be able to perform, but Sean would just laugh it off. Friday night he let her know he would be going to see his grandfather that weekend so he probably would not be able to see her until Sunday evening. Elana was disappointed, but she understood and admired him for taking an interest in his elderly grandfather, and so she went ahead and planned for her regular Saturday with Gail. 


	30. DECIDED FUTURES

Part 30: DECIDED FUTURES  
  
:  
  
Greenwich, CT  
  
"Grandpa! Where are you?' Sean called as he walked into the house. "Grandpa!" He said more loudly.  
  
Grandpa came hobbling into the foyer "What you yelling so for boy, I ain't got no hearing problem yet!"  
  
"Sorry, grandpa. I came to spend some time with you this weekend. I've had such a busy few weeks." Sean walked into the living room with his grandfather and put his things down then headed to the refrigerator. Grandpa sat down in his favorite chair waiting for Sean to come from the kitchen to sit with him.  
  
When Sean came back he had a carton of milk in his hand. "Mom & dad aren't back yet?"  
  
"Naw, he called last week and said they should be back in about six to eight weeks. He asked how you were doing with the company."  
  
"What did you tell him?"  
  
"I didn't have nothin' to tell him. I told him I was retired and if he wanted information on you he should call you and ask you himself!"  
  
"Well, I haven't heard from dad. I guess he feels I'm doing o.k. It can't get any worse." He said sipping some of the milk.  
  
"Didn't your mother always tell you not to drink outta the milk like that? You just come in here and start eating everything up like you was an orphan or something. You need a woman to cook you a good meal every once in a while. And I mean a real woman not that imitation blondie woman you got swingin' on ya right now."  
  
"I'm not with her anymore grandpa." Sean said closing the milk as he was reminded that he needed to find out whether she was pregnant or not. It had been about three weeks since she mentioned it, so he knew she would be telling him sooner or later.  
  
"Ah, so you finally got rid of that one." Grandpa said slapping his knee. "Good! I was hoping she didn't have her hooks too far in you."  
  
"I'm glad I don't have to listen to you complain about her spending up all of my money anymore, even though I never really bought her anything."  
  
"Humph, you never bought her anything? I guess that means she never did anything that would make you wanna buy her something nice."  
  
"I was not in love with her grandpa, so I think that was the seat of my motivation."  
  
"I could have told you that a year or so ago, saved you some frustration. Even though she looked like one of those skinny women sashaying around on T.V. that most men like. Any man would stay with her for her looks and good sex, even you could have lived with her if she was pleasing you at least, so she must not have been any good in  
  
bed, huh?."  
  
"Grandpa! That didn't have anything to do with it?" Sean said laughing from embarrassment.   
  
"Don't be trying to fool me, boy? I know you better than you know yourself and I also know you're a Logan and it's certain things we Logan men can't live without and that's a good woman we can spoil and who can please us in every way. You wasn't spoiling that one and everybody could see there wasn't no sparks between you. The two of you together was like oil and water you just did not mix."   
  
"Yeah you're right grandpa. That's why I had to end it."   
  
"Like I said I know why you ended it. She was not no good in bed. Ain't nothin' to be ashamed of boy. I used to be a young Logan boy like yourself. Of course at your age, I was married already, but I certainly picked the right woman...."  
  
"O.k. grandpa, I don't want to hear about that." Sean said stopping his grandfather from disclosing the details of his intimate life with his grandmother, something Sean did not want to picture.  
  
"Well, the point is, make sure you got a woman who can put you in shock sometimes and who really appreciates the way you love her, like your grandmother did for me. I really loved that woman, and I miss her everyday. She would always tell me how much she appreciated me being a good husband and father and businessman. That goes a long way for a man's woman to tell him that. I never remarried because I knew I'd never find anybody else like her.  
  
"Grandpa you never remarried because you were in your seventies when she died."  
  
"What's age got to do with it, boy? There's plenty of women who would be happy to be with me. I might be old, but I'm rich as hell, and I can still pack a Logan punch to the right woman..."  
  
"O.k! O.k! That's enough grandpa. I don't want to talk about this anymore. What have you been watching on that cable t.v. of yours?"  
  
"Ain't been watchin' nothin' I ain't seen before. And I don't look at those girlie movies. I got my own memories, but I won't keep embarrassing you with that. So now that missy is gone. Did you find yourself another woman?  
  
"Yes, I did grandpa. I told you about that already."  
  
"So you started back running after that colored woman."  
  
"Grandpa, don't call her colored, she's black, or African American."  
  
"That's just what I'm used to, son. I'll try to call her black. What's she think about you two getting back together?"  
  
"She was all for it. We had a good talk and we settled what happened. It seems my father ran her off telling her that he would disinherit me if I married her, so to protect me she disappeared, so that I would not be a family outcast."  
  
"Phillip ran her off? Well she must have a mighty big heart to leave if things were between you like you said they were."  
  
"Yeah, she has a wonderful heart, grandpa and I'm gonna spend the rest of my life making sure she's happy, no matter what I have to do. I need to make her know that she's the most important thing to me. I didn't do that before. She gave up nine years of that happiness and I don't intend for another nine to go by."  
  
"So what are you going to do?"  
  
"Well I came here to get the key to my safe deposit box. I had bought her a ring years ago, so I want to upgrade it. That should take a few weeks for the company to do what I want with it and then I'm gonna give it to her and beg her to marry me."  
  
"What did this woman do to you Sean, for you to feel so emotional about it?"  
  
"She loved me grandpa. She just loved me in her own special way and I can't live without that. I knew that when I saw her. I hope everything goes well. I'm taking your advice to make her come to me and I'm not going to touch her until we're married. That's what she wanted when we were in college, so I'm gonna try to honor that."  
  
"You mean you never been with this woman. I thought you said you was dating on the sly for five years when you were in school."  
  
"We were, but she never let me touch her and I didn't bother any other woman until about a year after she left, so I need to do this for her."  
  
"Well, I see you really love this woman, just don't get yourself all worked up because I ain't known a Logan who can stay away from the woman he loves too long. Why your great, great grandfather had to rush his wife to Ohio to get married in the middle of the night because he told her he was not gonna wait for her any more."  
  
"Yeah, I can see that happening with me already. Grandpa, I'm gonna go get that key and I want you to come to the bank with me. I'll be here all weekend, so we can do some other things too. I wish you would come to New York sometimes and stay with me for a few weeks so you don't have to be by yourself. You know I told you that before."  
  
"Yeah, Yeah. I remember. Who knows maybe I will one day son, maybe I will."  
  
Grandpa, went to go get ready while Sean went to his old room to find the safe deposit key he had hidden in his room after he finished school. When they were both ready, the two men got in Sean's car and headed for the bank where Sean picked up the ring and showed it to his grandfather. Afterwards they went to the family jeweler and Sean indicated what he wanted done to the ring. The jeweler was very happy with the profits he'd be making off of the changes and indicated that he would see that it would be delivered to him personally in four to five weeks. Grandpa, assuming Sean was going to finance the ring, was grumbling about how much money Sean spent and told him he better hope they last forever because that's how long he'd be paying on the merchandise. Sean just laughed it off and spent the rest of Saturday and Sunday catering to the things his grandfather liked to do. On Sunday night Sean left  
  
Connecticut after unsuccessfully trying to convince grandpa to come home with him for the week. When he finally arrived at home, the first thing he did was to call Elana.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi lollipop. It's me."  
  
"You just called me two hours ago, you made it home pretty fast."  
  
"There's not much traffic on Sunday night. I was trying to get grandpa to come stay with me for a week, but I couldn't get him out of the house, as usual."  
  
"Sometimes older people are pretty comfortable where they are. Your grandfather probably does not want anything to do with the big city anymore."  
  
"You're probably right." He said before a brief moment of silence.  
  
"Sean?"  
  
"Yes, honey?"  
  
"When are you going to talk to Sheridan? It's been a few weeks. She should know by now."  
  
"I thought about that this weekend. I guess I can call her tomorrow sometime, I was trying to put it off as long as possible."  
  
"Well, I think we need to know, so that you can start making plans for it and defining what your role will be."  
  
"Yeah." Sean said sighing. "Elana I need to know how you're going to feel about this if she is pregnant. I don't want to lose you and if I have too I'll just give Sheridan a check and wash my hands of the whole thing."  
  
"Sean, I could never ask you to do that. If you're going to be a father, you're going to have to take responsibility to help raise the child. I know you couldn't just walk away from your own flesh and blood and I wouldn't want to be responsible for you doing that."  
  
"But are you going to be there with me Elana. Are you willing to help me raise a child I conceived with somebody else? Because without you I'm not going to be a good anything, a good person, or man and least of all father. Not if I lost you a second time."  
  
"I'm not going anywhere Sean, not anymore, because the truth is I can't be without you either."  
  
"Good. I needed to hear that."  
  
The next few minutes they talked about, when Sean would call Sheridan and they speculated on how things would be once the child was born.  
  
Eventually Elana changed the subject. "Theirs is something else, I wanted to mention to you. I've been going over the information I gathered last week from your Collections department and there are a few things I think you should know. It seems that some of your credit advances are being discounted after the accounts receivable has been retired."  
  
"Is that within the discount period?"  
  
"No. Actually you have a standard policy of a 2% discount if paid within ten days, but most of your receivables are retired between 15 to 45 days and the discounts have been calculating up to 8%."  
  
"If the discounts are given after the account is paid, then where is the money going?"  
  
"It seems that it should be reimbursed to the customer, but the paper trail is weak and the cash disbursements are hard to follow, so I'm going to have to spend some extra time in this department and figure this all out."  
  
"Extra time as in evenings and weekends?"  
  
"No, just a few extra hours during the day for the next few weeks. My original plan was to spend a week in each department, but I'll need more time for this one."  
  
"I see. Good. I was hoping this would not impact our time together. If I can help you out in any way let me know. Jerry Falkner is our Controller, so he should be able to give you some insight on those reimbursements."  
  
"Alright. Well I need to get some sleep so that I can get in early tomorrow. When will you be in?"  
  
"I'll be in early too. I can't wait to see you."  
  
"I can't wait to see you either Sean. Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight and you'd better dream about me."  
  
"I've been doing that for a while now." Elana said before she hung up.  
  
Monday morning  
  
Crealite  
  
The next morning Elana was in early as she said she would be. Sean came in soon afterwards hoping Elana did not see him because he wanted to go straight to his office to give Sheridan a call and he knew if he saw Elana first thing in the morning, he would not want to call Sheridan. When he went into his office he sat down and turned his chair to face the large window overlooking the city. After more than a few minutes of meditating, Sean turned around and pushed the speakerphone button for Charlotte.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Logan?"  
  
"Charlotte, could you get Ms. Winthrop on the phone for me please. You can call her at her home."  
  
"Sure, I'll connect you if she comes to the phone."  
  
"Thanks." Sean turned off the speakerphone and sat there waiting to see if she would answer. After a few seconds Charlotte buzzed him. "Yes?"  
  
"Ms. Winthrop is on line 1."  
  
Sean cut Charlotte off and hesitated before he answered the line, but then he did.  
  
"Hi Sheridan. It's Sean."  
  
"I know who it is. Your secretary formally informed me that you wanted to speak to me."  
  
"You know why I'm calling. Do you know anything for sure yet."  
  
"I'm surprised you called Sean. I thought you could have cared less about this just as you did for me."  
  
"Come on Sheridan, let's not get into it. We don't have to do this anymore. I just want to know if you're going to have a baby."  
  
"What will it mean for us Sean, if I am."  
  
"We already discussed that Sheridan. I just need to know so that I can prepare myself for it when it comes."  
  
"Well. I just found out last Saturday that I am pregnant. Four weeks, to quote the dr."   
  
As she spoke, Sean had heard what he already knew inside. Four weeks was exactly the last time they were together, so now he could not shrink back from it. "O.k., so now what? What do you need me to do for you?"  
  
"Right now, I'm fine but as I get bigger Sean, I want everyone to know that this is your child. I can't project the image that it could be someone else's especially since we dated so long. I also plan to attend Lamaze classes and I would like for you to go with me. When the child comes, it is to have your name and we can work out child support arrangements after its birth. As for now, I'll just need a small expense account so that I can get the things I'll need."  
  
"What type of expense account are you thinking about Sheridan?"  
  
"Oh, nothing much. I was thinking maybe about $5,000 a month until the baby comes, afterwards I'll need less and you can just add it to the child support."  
  
"Sheridan, what are you going to do with $5,000 a month? What do you need that kind of money for?"  
  
"So, is this how it's going to be Sean. Me asking for money for your child and you wanting to know what I need it for. It's not like you can't afford it and you have to remember, if we were married I would not have to ask you for these things. Then too if I took you to court for child support, I would probably get much more. I have to keep up my appearance even though I'll be pregnant. My entire wardrobe will have to be changed each month. I don't wear inexpensive clothing now nor will I do that as I get bigger. As the father of this baby, I would expect that you would want me to maintain the same dignity and class that I have now. Do you want people thinking that you refused to contribute to my appearance, which kept you around for two years, but now that I'm pregnant and you're not marrying me, you don't feel that's important? I also will need the money to get a room ready for the child and other supplies that infants need."  
  
Sean was getting agitated so he stood up and paced a few steps back and forth, as he spoke. "I'll tell you what Sheridan, since you feel it will take $5,000 monthly to cover your clothing and incidental expenses and since this baby is also yours, I'll set up the account for $3,500 a month and you can take care of the rest. When the child is born we'll review your expense account."  
  
"$3,500! Sean you forgot I did not ask for this and..."  
  
"And you also did not yell loud enough, if I was raping you like you said. That butler of yours could have easily overtaken me if I was so drunk and you were screaming rape like you said. Look. I think we should end this conversation. I'll make sure the account is set up this week and I'll have my bank mail you everything you need. When you start your Lamaze classes call Charlotte to set up the appointments for me and I'll be there. O.k.?"  
  
"Fine, Sean."  
  
"Fine!" He said before he hung up. He could not believe the audacity she had to demand so much money for her personal appearance. He could see that this was going to be a long nine months and an even longer 18 years as they shared in the raising of their child. Now as he stood leaning against his desk looking out the window with his arms crossed in front of him, his thoughts wondered to Elana and he knew he had to go tell her. He was saddened by the fact that this child with Sheridan would come before any children he had with Elana and he wondered if his family would favor Sheridan's white child over the interracial one's he would eventually have. He knew from his own inheritance that the stipulations of the uncontestable trust fund that his great, great grandparents set up, included an inheritance only for the first born child of the eldest son, to be collected once the child reached 25 years old. He could see how the time he and Elana were apart had cost them both so much and now it was affecting the family they would some day have. He knew there was no way to change the trust fund because it was part of an iron clad system designed to protect the wishes of the one's who established it. How could his ancestors have known he'd be in this situation? How could he have known himself? He decided that he would set up a separate trust fund for his future children with Elana, so that if anything ever happened to him, his family would not be able to take anything away from her.  
  
While he stood in heavy thought, he did not hear Elana knock on the door, nor did he hear her come in until he heard her voice...  
  
"Sean?"  
  
"Yeah, Elana I'm sorry. I did not hear you come in." He said as he straightened up and turned around to see her. Elana walked up beside him and they both turned to look out the window as the sun shown down on the buildings and through the office.  
  
"Did you call Sheridan?"  
  
"Yeah. I just got off the phone with her. She's four weeks pregnant and she wants a $5,000 a month expense account until the child is born, then we'll settle on support and the future amount of her expense account."  
  
"$5,000 is a lot of money? Can you afford that?"  
  
Sean just looked at her and chuckled. At that moment he realized that she had no idea what he was really worth. "Yeah, I can afford it, but she doesn't need that kind of money. I told her it would be for $3,500. She wined about it, but I didn't really leave her any choice in the end. I'm going to set it up this week."  
  
"So, it was four weeks ago since you were with her?" Elana asked apprehensively.  
  
Sean saw her tense up and he put his arms around her. "Yeah, four weeks last Saturday. I was drunker than whiskey." He said laughing a little trying to get her not to feel threatened by it.  
  
"Do you need somebody to oversee the account and her expenses, that's part of what I do you know."  
  
"Thank you, but I don't want you to have to be bothered with that. I don't need to monitor her because I know she's just going to buy a lot of expensive junk with it. It doesn't matter. I guess it's a type of compensation for not marrying her."  
  
"So, are you in some way easing your own conscious, by letting her have this account before the baby comes."  
  
"I think it's what I should do, but I'm also going to try and be reasonable. I'm sorry things are working out like this. You know I'd give anything for you to be the mother of all my children, but unfortunately life doesn't work out the way we want it too all the time."  
  
"Yep, you got that right, but let's not be so gloomy about it. You're gonna be a daddy and that's always a blessing. Now you'll have somebody to carry your name on especially if it's a boy. And you know what I've learned from all of this?"  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"At least now I know you're fertile."  
  
Sean could not help but laugh at what she said and he snuggled his face up against hers. Just from her reaction, he loved her more because she was determined not to let this baby business with Sheridan get her down and she knew just how to lift his spirits, no matter what he was going through. 


	31. UNFOUNDED ANXIETY

Part 31: UNFOUNDED ANXIETY  
  
Needless to say the rest of the week was somewhat somber for Sean and Elana. They continued their new routine of lunch and dinner together during the week. In the evenings, Sean would end up at Elana's house where they would go over Crealite business together. Elana, never having seen Sean display his brilliant business sense, was impressed with Sean's ability as a company president. Now as he helped her go over the information she had gathered in the collections department, they both surmised what was going on. Sean did not want to think that someone in the company was embezzling money on top of the problem with the falling stock prices. Elana was sure that someone was taking money from the company's retained earnings, which were usually distributed to stockholders at the end of the year in the form of dividends. But this fiscal year; there would be no dividends to stockholders because of the higher discounts and cash disbursements, which were at this point untraceable.   
  
On Wednesday night of that week, Sean had suggested that he and Elana cook a meal together on Saturday night at her place. Elana had neglected to tell Sean that she was not a good cook and that she had hired someone to cook for her twice a week, so that she could eat the right foods. She felt apprehensive about telling him because who ever heard of a black woman who could not cook. Also, she wanted to impress Sean with something other than her mental abilities, so she agreed and went out the next day to buy a cooking instruction tape to listen to it during the week when she had free time. She had an excellent memory, but hoped, after taking in so much information, that she would not get her facts confused on the night in question. One day, while she was listening to her tapes, James knocked on her office door.   
  
"Hi!"  
  
"Oh, James!" Elana was startled at his appearing there because she had been avoiding him for so long. "How are you? Haven't seen you in a while."  
  
"That's not because of me Elana. You keep telling me that you've been so busy on something that you're stuck on in the collections department. I'm starting to feel neglected."  
  
"There's no need for you to feel like that."  
  
"I can't help it. I'm going through withdrawal not being around you. I need a quick fix. Why don't we go get some lunch together? You can run by me what's going on and maybe I can help."  
  
"Lunch, uh, I can't I'm supposed to go with Sean. We have to discuss these things on a daily basis now. I guess he's anxious for me to finish, so that we won't cost you guys too much money." Elana mused.  
  
"Yeah, I can see how that would be a priority. You two have been going to lunch so much together. Just watch yourself because my boss may have ulterior motives. He has this knock out girlfriend, but I don't see how any man can be around you too long and not be affected." He said eyeing her.  
  
Elana made no response as she began to feel uncomfortable in his presence. James was at her desk now and he noticed the tapes.  
  
"Hum, 'Cooking Made Easy?"  
  
"Oh, I see. Were you planning on inviting me to your place for a home cooked meal?"  
  
Elana did not know what to say. She did not want to flat out say no because then he would plague her with questions and she did not want him finding out about her and Sean mainly for the reasons that Jon had outlined last weekend, so she just smiled.  
  
"Now, Elana, that would be wonderful of you, but you work hard all day and it's my privilege to take you out so that you can relax. I'll tell you what, You can come to my place here in the city and I'll order us a quiet dinner inside. You know that's what you need, so why don't you take a break just one night and let me do this for you?"  
  
"Wow James that sounds nice, but like I said I'm swamped. I can't spare any time and even right now I need to get back to work."  
  
"Elana if I were not any smarter I'd think you were giving me the run around. Have I done something to offend you? I thought I conducted myself properly when we went to Jersey. What is it?"  
  
"James, I - I just think that we should not see each other a lot like we started out. After all, I do work here and I don't want to be viewed as your girlfriend or anything especially at the board meetings. I need people to take me seriously. I know you've told a few people about our weekend and they all had the wrong impression, so I need to step back a little and remove myself from speculation. I hope you understand."  
  
"Yeah, I see what you mean. I'm sorry for opening my big mouth. I was just so excited about us getting closer that I wanted to tell everybody how lucky I was. I did exaggerate and leave a few things out."  
  
"I understand."  
  
"Maybe we can go to the Business Associates Charity Ball at the end of December as friends only. Usually, all the executives are required to attend and I know you've been there for the past couple of years, so it won't look too suspicious if we're together."  
  
"We'll see?"  
  
"So, I guess, I'll be happy when you finish up here, so that we can go beyond the friendship route?"  
  
"Well let's just take this one day at a time." She said walking around her desk to escort him out.  
  
Just before they got to her door, James concluded their conversation "You know I'll be coming around to say hello, but after you're finished here, we're going to celebrate." He said as he reached down to kiss her. Elana shifted her head slightly causing his kiss to land on her lower cheek, by her lips. At that moment Sean walked in.  
  
Upon his entrance, James took his leave and Sean moved out of the way so that he could get by. When he was gone Sean closed the door harder than usual. "What was that all about?"  
  
Elana looked up at his tone. "He was just leaving. I told him that we should not go out anymore because it looks bad."  
  
"Why didn't you just tell him you did not want to see him anymore?"  
  
"I was trying to be discreet Sean. You don't want him to know about us yet do you? I didn't want him asking any unnecessary questions. Either way was just as effective."  
  
"If you had told him you didn't want to see him anymore, he wouldn't have kissed you on your lips."  
  
"Sean, I don't like where this conversation is going."  
  
"I don't like where it started. I walk in here and he's kissing all over you."  
  
"Kissing all over--- Sean he just kissed my cheek. You are not jealous are you?"  
  
Sean paused and realized that he was getting hotter and hotter by the minute as he thought about James putting his lips on Elana's. He thought about it for a minute and realized that she had been turned away from him and that James had actually only kissed her lower cheek. "Yeah, I'm jealous, and I'm sorry for my tone. I don't know what was coming over me." He took both her hands into his own as he continued. "I don't think I'm going to be able to take it very well, seeing other men show you affection even if they're just friends. I know there's nothing I can do about the men who were before me, but now that I have you back, I don't think I'm going to fair too well if I see men coming on to you. I'll have to work on that."  
  
Elana moved in closer to Sean, pressing her body against his. "There wasn't anyone before you Sean."  
  
Not picking up on what she was saying Sean clarified himself. "I meant during the time when we were apart. Anyway, I guess seeing James with you just made me kind of crazy. But that's not what I came in here for."  
  
"I know. It's time for lunch, let me get my jacket and purse." She said as she turned around.  
  
Pulling her back to him, Sean said. "Wait a minute, not so fast. Before we go, I was wondering if you would mind going out with some friends of mine? Do you remember Sam? He and his wife want to get together with us. His wife is anxious to meet you."  
  
"Is she going to be comparing me with Sheridan all night?"  
  
"She definitely won't be comparing you to Sheridan, at least I hope not. The two of them never really got along. You two may have a lot in common because she's in the finance business."  
  
"Is that the same girl Sam mentioned a few times, saying he was trying to find out a way to meet her? Wasn't she going for a finance degree?"  
  
"Yeah. Well he met her and they have three kids now. He's an entertainment lawyer and lives in Orange County, NJ. Niki wants us to come down Saturday after next, so that we all can go out and they can get to know you."  
  
"Why is she so interested in getting to know me?"  
  
"It's been her goal to get me hooked up with the perfect woman, so she takes an interest in these things. When I first brought Sheridan, Niki was pregnant and let's just say ever since then Sam and Niki have still been looking out for me."  
  
"It sounds like that'll be great Sean. It'll be nice to be around some other people, sometimes."  
  
Sean was slightly offended by what she had just said and he pulled her closer to him. "What do you mean it'll be nice to be around other people. You getting' tired of me already?"  
  
"You know that's not what I meant." She said playing with his collar.  
  
"Sean leaned down and kissed her neck as he spoke "What did you mean then, hmm?"  
  
"I meant. That. Um." Elana could not get her thoughts straight as Sean continued to ravage her neck.  
  
"Um, what Elana?" He continued, but by this time she could not say anything and then Sean stopped and looked down at her. "Since you can't answer me, I don't know if I should give you this or not." He had reached into his pocket with one hand and pulled out a small blue box as he still held her with his other arm and presented it to her.  
  
Elana took the box and looked up at Sean wondering what he had gotten her. She opened the box with anticipation and was amazed to see a beautiful set of diamond earrings. They were in an invisible gold setting and consisted of four ascending in size diamonds stacked vertically. The stones shined brilliantly and Elana could see no visible color radiating from them. She stood there stunned, mouth wide open and not able to say anything because she knew they were not an inexpensive gift.  
  
"Aren't you going to try them on?" Sean asked smiling because of her speechless reaction. He let her go allowing her to bask in her own amazement.  
  
Elana put her hand up to her mouth and looked up at him. "Oh Sean these are beautiful!" She said still staring at the diamonds not yet touching them.  
  
Sean just stood there and waited for her initial shock to wear off. He did not know she would be this surprised because he felt she must be accustomed to men giving her expensive gifts, but he was wrong.  
  
"Sean no one ever gave me anything like this. I'm almost scared to touch them."  
  
"They won't break. They'd better not. Go ahead. I want to see them on you."  
  
Elana pulled off her own earrings and slowly removed the diamonds from the box and put them on. Sean looked her over, happy with his choice and Elana walked over to her closet and opened the door to look in the mirror.  
  
"Do you like them?" Sean asked still standing by her desk.  
  
"Do I like them?" She asked then turned around. "Come over here?" She commanded him and he complied. When he came to stand before her she said. "I love them, Sean. They're the most beautiful things I ever had."  
  
"Now I have a hard time believing that. I know some of your uptown boys probably bought you nice gifts in the past."  
  
"No they didn't because I was so busy letting them know I did not need them that most men felt I would be offended if they bought me a blue box, so I missed out."  
  
Sean lifted his hand to the earring and held it in his hand as he spoke "I guess I have a lot of work on my hands then, so that I can supply you with the things you should have by now."  
  
"Sean. You're so sweet!" She said as she turned back around and admired her earrings again in the mirror. After a few minutes Elana turned back around. Sean was still standing there keeping his hands in his pockets. Elana grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands out and then put them around her waist while she placed her hands around his neck and softly kissed his lips. "I love you Sean, thank you, so much." She said looking seductively at him. She then ran her fingers through his hair, knowing that the combination of her words and actions had always driven him crazy.   
  
Sean, knowing what she was doing, was concentrating on not getting too aroused by her. "Come on, I'm gonna take you to the Waldorf for the gourmet lunch buffet."  
  
She sighed, letting him go and turned to get her coat and purse from the closet. Then she started to remove the earrings so that she could put her other ones back on. "O.k. Sean. Let me take these earrings off and lock them up. I'll wear them when we go out someplace really nice."  
  
Sean noticed her disappointment, so he put his hands back in his pockets trying to control himself from grabbing her again and doing something he was not ready for yet. He then tried to talk about anything to keep from thinking about what her body felt like close to him. "Nice coat."  
  
"Yeah, it's ok for this weather. This year I plan to buy myself a mink when it gets colder. I've been putting it off for a few years, but I'm gonna treat myself from the profits we're making this year. Come on, let's go eat, since you're not gonna do anything else." Elana affectionately pushed him back so that she could get by and he just shook his head at her as he followed her out the door.  
  
The rest of the week was pretty uneventful. Elana worked hard on trying to figure out what was going on in the collections department, but all her leads came to a dead end. Whoever was behind the cash disbursements disappearing was pretty good, so Elana knew it was not some clerical error and that worried her. Over the weekend, Sean did not come by telling her he did not feel well. The truth was he was trying to stay away from her so that he would not slip up. His attraction to her had grown too strong, so he knew he had to pull back a little.  
  
The following week, Elana noticed that Sean did not ask her out to lunch at all. They went out only on Tuesday night and afterwards he took her home. Instead of coming in and spending time with her he would kiss her at the door and leave. They did talk on the phone frequently and Elana intensified her teasing and taunts of Sean accusing him of not being a real man because he was not trying to make any moves on her. At the office she purposely opened her blouses a little more when she had to see Sean and she made sure to sit down across from him with her legs crossed and exposed for his full view. She had done everything but throw herself on Sean, but he still would not make any decisive moves other than to kiss her and even then he would not hold her like she wanted him to. By the end of the week, Elana felt that she was starting to make a fool out of herself, so she left him alone.  
  
That weekend she called Gail somewhat depressed.  
  
"Hi Gail."  
  
"Hey, girl! How's it going? You and Sean got busy yet."  
  
"No, girl. Sean ain't doin' nuthin'. He's been so nice and sweet and those earrings he bought me from Tiffany's appraised at $8,000."  
  
"WHAAAT? $8,000. That's some kind of gift girl. Now why did you have them appraised, you know he ain't gon' get you nothing fake."  
  
"Oh I know that, but I needed to add them to my homeowner's insurance, so I had to have an appraisal. A man's never given me anything like that, so I want to make sure it can be replaced if it gets stolen or lost in a fire or something."  
  
"Well if you had been a little softer and not so brash with the menfolk, you could have gotten a lot more than that."  
  
"I know, but I never needed a man to do those things for me. Anyway once they start putting out good money on you they start thinking they own you and they expect things, so I was not going to let any man feel like he had any control over me like that. But the funny thing is that the man I want to have some control won't take it. I've done everything lest throwing myself at him, but he always gets out of it. He won't even come into the house anymore. When he drops me off he stands in the foyer until I tell him everything is safe then he kisses me and leaves."  
  
"Maybe you should go ahead and throw yourself on him, girl. I don't think he'll push you away, if you just present yourself to him on a silver platter."  
  
"I don't want to make a complete fool of myself and then he runs away or something. I'll really feel rejected then. I don't want to push him too hard. I know he's been thinking about that baby his ex is gonna have."  
  
"I still don't understand that situation. That kye probably got herself pregnant on purpose. How you gonna be with a man two years and all of a sudden get pregnant when things are going bad in the relationship. Girl, she set that thang up! . Just don't let that heffa try and use that baby to move in on Sean again. When she finds out that he's hooked up with you she may get offended and try to prove a point or something. You know how some women can get down right evil sometimes. If she tries that you make sure she knows what her place is. And you better make sure Sean gets a blood test done, because that child may not even be his, especially if he doesn't remember anything. Most men remember sex, drunk or not."  
  
"You're probably right Gail. But I don't know if a blood test will be necessary. They were together two years and I don't think she would cheat on Sean."  
  
"Now Elana, look at the factors here. Don't let that wench fool Sean. Didn't you say he had not been with her for 8 months before that one time? How do you know she wasn't getting it from somewhere else? You also said she's very materialistic, so I'm sure Sean has plenty of money, she may want to secure her claim on part of that with a firstborn child. You need to ask Sean about this stuff and watch Sheridan, because something don't sound right to me about the whole thing."  
  
"I'll make sure to suggest the testing. Next weekend we're going to see Sam and his wife, so I'll try to mention it by then."  
  
"Good, keep me posted. Oh yeah, I'm going to make that dress I told you I was designing next week along with a few others. I want to bring them by probably next weekend or week after next, so you can pick out the ones you want. I have an appointment in Connecticut next Saturday, so maybe I'll come by after that."  
  
"If Max doesn't go with you. I'll go with you."  
  
"Oh, I'd love that girl. I'll let you know."  
  
"O.k. Talk to you soon."  
  
Elana got off the phone and decided to go to bed early. She was tired from working on the problem department at Crealite all day and she was also looking forward to seeing Sean in the morning because she had not seen him since the week before. She did wonder what he was thinking as far as the two of them were concerned. The past few days he was somewhat distant and she did not know why. She wondered if he was starting to rethink their relationship and whether he contemplated getting back with Sheridan to make a family for his child. Sometimes Sean could be hard to read because he was so quiet. Other times he would just pour all of his feelings out for everyone to see. Elana did not know what to think, she even wondered if she were as attractive to him as she was when they were younger. As she fell asleep, she decided not to worry about it and that everything would work out for the best. 


	32. REJUVENATION

Part 32: REJUVENATION  
  
That next week seemed to drag on forever, Elana started interviewing on the Marketing department and she spent her extra time analyzing the Collections department. She and Sean only went to lunch together on Wednesday and they were not as talkative as usual. Elana wanted to ask Sean what was on his mind but she was scared of what the answer would be. Sheridan came to Crealite on Thursday when Elana was in Sean's office going over a report with him. Elana was standing over Sean while he sat at his desk with her reports in front of him. She was still trying to get some reaction out of him and purposely leaned over giving him a full view inside her blouse. Sean was almost sweating under the pressure and really did not know what Elana was saying, he was just agreeing as he tried to keep his eyes off her and concentrate on keeping his hands to himself at least until the ring arrived in another few weeks. As Elana talked, Charlotte buzzed Sean, who answered it immediately, happy for some diversion.  
  
"Yes, Charlotte?" Before she could tell him the message Sheridan came through the door.  
  
"Hi, love!" She said as she came in. She saw Elana hovering over Sean and noticed his forehead glowing slightly.  
  
Elana stood up and removed her glasses while Sean stood up after thanking Charlotte for the message.  
  
"What are you doing here Sheridan?"  
  
"I came to see you darling." She said slowly looking from him to Elana. "How are you Elana. I see you did not disappear completely."  
  
"No, I didn't Sheridan. That was just from the restaurant."  
  
"Pity." She said then directing her attention back to Sean. "Sean, I need to talk about my expense account and we should have some privacy."  
  
"Elana is the accountant ---"  
  
Elana cut Sean off, making it easy for him not to ask her to leave, not that he was going to, but she thought he was. "We can finish our conversation later Sean. I'll just take these things and I can come back some other time." Elana gathered up her paperwork and went out the door past Sheridan without saying anything. Sheridan watched Sean as Sean watched Elana leave the room. When she left Sheridan began talking.  
  
"You'd better be careful Sean. You know what people say about black women in an office environment. Just remember you have a child to think about and you can't afford to taint your image."  
  
Sean was incensed at her remark and he wanted her out of his office. "Why are you here Sheridan?"  
  
"Money, Sean. That $3,500 per month is not going to do it for me. You are a millionaire Sean and as the soon to be mother of your child, I don't think I should have to be worried about budgeting my expenses, which is what I've had to do. So this little amount of money you're throwing at me is going to have to be negotiated. I can take this to court if I have to."  
  
"Sheridan, if somebody didn't budget to save that money and invest it wisely, there would not be any for you to worry about."  
  
"Well, I can't be bothered with minor details. That's your job."  
  
  
  
The two of them argued over the expense account for a few minutes and neither would budge. Eventually Sheridan stormed out threatening litigation and Sean was stressed even more; first from sexual anxiety and frustration of trying to stay away from Elana and now with the anxiety of Sheridan trying to bleed money out of him. The rest of his day was shot. Later on Elana came back to finish talking about the reports and she could tell that Sean was not really interested in what she was saying. Eventually he told her that he was tired and the reports looked fine. Elana took it to mean that he was cutting her off and wanted her to leave, so she did. On Friday, she decided to let him be for fear of getting completely rejected.  
  
That Friday afternoon Elana decided to leave early. As she was leaving, she got into the elevator, but before it closed completely, Sean stopped it and got on with her.  
  
"Why are you leaving early?"  
  
"It's been a long week and I'm really tired. I figured I'd call it a day."  
  
"You didn't even come in and let me know you were leaving."  
  
"Do I have to report when I come and go to you."  
  
"Actually, yeah, you're supposed to." He said referring to the consulting contract they signed.  
  
Elana rolled her eyes and Sean knew something was wrong, so he elected to say nothing until they got to the garage. When they arrived at the garage level, Sean let her out and he followed.  
  
"What's wrong Elana?"  
  
"I guess I should be asking you that. Last week you stopped staying over and this week you have been really quiet. Not to mention you haven't made one move on me." Elana could not hold back her tears as she continued "I don't mean to pressure you Sean, but I've allowed all of these feeling for you to resurface. Feelings I forgot I had and now - now I realize that I need you to hold me and touch me, but for some reason I can't help but think that you're reconsidering ..." Elana could not finish her sentence as her tears began to flow more freely and she leaned back on her car.  
  
Sean moved in closer to her and hugged her as she cried. "No, honey. Oh no, please don't think negatively like that. Do you want to know why I've been distant? Huh?" He asked as he held her face in his hands and wiped her tears.  
  
"Yes, I do." Elana answered trying to compose herself."  
  
"Honey, it's not because I don't want to be around you or because I'm reconsidering being with you. It's because I'm dying inside to have you and I know if I don't stay away from you I'm not going to be true to what you wanted years ago. Look. This is not the place to be discussing these things. Let me take you out somewhere really nice tonight. We can get all dressed up and go to a great restaurant and just eat, talk and dance all night, o.k."  
  
"O.k. Sean. I'm sorry for breaking down in the parking lot. This is not like me."  
  
"Don't worry. Just don't cry anymore. I can't stand to see you cry. I'm sorry I was the cause of that. I haven't been handling this right because I haven't taken your feelings into consideration. I won't ever do that again. I just need to be a stronger man." He let her go and opened the car door for her. "I'll pick you up at 7:00. Just don't torture me too much."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Go easy on what you wear. James filled me in on your dates with him. I can only take so much."  
  
"I'll think about it." She said trying to smile and feeling better.  
  
Sean closed the door and went back to the office as Elana drove away.  
  
When she arrived at home, Elana called Gail and asked her to drop off something that would get attention but not be too seductive. Gail was all too happy to comply because she had just finished making the dresses she told Elana about last weekend. Within an hour she was at Elana's house with a two year old Chelsea and the dresses so that Elana could try them on. Elana elected to wear a knee-length, shimmering red fitted dress. A split ran up the front of her thigh and stopped about 8 inches below the waist. The v-neck of the dress dipped low into the cleavage area and gathered in the middle forming a bow tie effect. A thick strap worn around the back of the neck connected the sides of the dress. She covered herself with a red, satin shell organza coat. Also she put on natural color silk pantyhose, red high heel shoes and the diamond earrings Sean had bought her. Gail helped her curl her hair all over into spirals, and just as they finished the doorbell rang. Gail gathered Chelsea up and went to the door so Elana could put on her finishing touches.  
  
"Hi, Sean."  
  
"Gail, is that you?"  
  
"Yeah! It's Me!" She said as he came in and they hugged each other.  
  
"Wow you look great! It's been so long. Man!" Sean said remembering Gail as a skinny, but attractive college girl.  
  
"Well, this one put the weight on me." She said nodding towards Chelsea.  
  
When Sean saw the chubby little girl he thought she was the cutest thing he had ever seen. She had medium brown smooth skin and huge light brown eyes with beautiful jet black soft curly hair that was gathered in a little pony tail. "And who is this?"  
  
"Tell Mr. Sean you're name baby."  
  
Chelsea was as articulate as a two-year old could be and she said her name proudly. "My name is Chessee."  
  
Sean and Gail laughed at her pronunciation. Then Gail continued. "Well I'd better be going. Elana should be out soon. You can come on in and sit down."  
  
Sean went down the steps and into the living room as Gail made her way to Elana's bedroom leaving Chelsea with Sean. Gail came into the room trying to contain her excitement and fanning herself.  
  
"Oooh! Damn girl you did not tell me how fine Sean has gotten! I like to fell down those steps trying to get away from him. I went and left my baby in there with him by herself. Whew, I forgot about how sexy those eyes of his were. Let me cool off a second. In the meantime you can put on that black dress because he is lookin' too good not to get any tonight. If you don't give him any, I just might myself."  
  
"Gail!"  
  
"Sorry! You see what effect a good looking man has on me. Sometimes I just say what pops up in my mind, which ain't always good. I'm just trying to get you to appreciate what you should be doin'." Gail said as she scurried around Elana's room looking for the black dress. "Now where's that black number?"  
  
"No, Gail I'm wearing this one, let me get out of here before he gets worried that we're conspiring against him."  
  
"Yeah and let me know what that gift is he's gonna give you. I'll lock up and hopefully I won't see you tomorrow morning for my appointment." Gail said as she picked up Elana's purse put it in her hand and pushed her out the bedroom door.  
  
When Elana walked into her living room and Sean caught sight of her he stood up and he was truly in awe. He had never seen her in red before and she had chosen the perfect outfit to introduce herself to him in for the first time. He could not take his eyes off her as she approached him with a slight smile. When she met him where he stood, she waited for him to say something but he did not, he just kept gazing at her, so to break the silence Elana spoke first.  
  
"So, do you like it?" She said twisting from side to side so that Sean could get a look at her from all angles. He still did not say anything, so she prompted him. "I haven't worn red in a while, so I decided to try it out."  
  
"Yeah, baby I like it. I like it a lot. I see you don't play fair. I asked you to take it easy on me."  
  
"I did!" Elana said with a devious smile.  
  
"Look pretty Ms. Lana." Chelsea said looking up at Elana.  
  
"Thank you sweetheart." Elana said as she picked Chelsea up and kissed her fat cheek. "I'll take you to your mommy and Ms. Lana and Mr. Sean have to go." She said to the little girl. Then she turned to Sean. "I have to go get my jacket, I'll be right back." Elana turned around to go take Chelsea to Gail and to get her coat. Sean could not help but glue his eyes to her perfect heart shaped derriere imminently displayed in the dress and swaying naturally as she walked away. He knew he was done for, and when she left he just wiped his face, put his hands on his sides and paced a few steps back and forth to get his concentration together until she came back. When she returned Sean still had not fully gotten it together, but at least he could direct their attention at something else. He was so overwhelmed with love for her that he did not know what to do with himself. Remembering her reaction to the earrings she wore that he gave her two weeks ago made his heart light and as she walked toward him he went into his suit pocket and pulled out a gift-wrapped box.  
  
"I had to get this for you when I saw it. I hope you like it." He said as he handed it to her.  
  
"Oh, Sean you just bought me these earrings. Now another present? I can't believe you!" She said as she hugged his neck. She let him go and unwrapped the long rectangular box, then opened it... "Oh, My God, Sean! I don't believe this! Oh God it's beautiful!" Elana was elated as she screamed and bounced up and down while she looked at the diamond and ruby tennis bracelet Sean had given her. It was perfect to wear with her outfit that night. "Put it on me sweetheart, please!" She said taking the bracelet out of the box and handing it to Sean as she lifted her arm for him to fasten it on her wrist.  
  
After he fastened it, he lifted her hand up and kissed the back of it, then he slid his hand up her arm to her shoulder and took hold of her waist with his other hand, pulling her closer to him. "I'm sorry for causing your tears today. When you cry, my heart cries with you. I don't want to be distant, but when I'm near you, I don't feel complete unless I'm connected to you some how either by holding your hand or hugging you and having you next to me. I feel like I'm going to explode sometimes by holding back from you, but I really want you to know that it's not just your body I'm after. Even though right now that's ALL I want. These little gifts I've given you are nothing, but they do help me to relay how I feel about you. I'll give you whatever you want Elana, just don't ever doubt that I love you more than anything and now that you're here with me you're my forever, nobody else. O.k." He smiled down at her and Elana did not know what to say.  
  
She felt foolish now for thinking as she had and decided she would never do that again. "You know just the right thing to say to a girl Sean and I love your patience and your gentleness with me. I guess I just missed it for a few days. You can see how you're spoiling me already and now that you have me draped in diamonds and rubies, I think I owe you a proper thank you."  
  
"Yes, you do." Sean said as their lips met in a loving kiss. After a few seconds, Sean broke away. "We better get to the restaurant before they cancel our reservation."  
  
"Yes, we better." Elana said still kissing him, but then she stopped and handed Sean her coat and he helped her put it on.  
  
After saying goodbye to Gail and Chelsea, they left and got into a silver ML 430. As they drove to New York, they talked about the car among other things.  
  
"I thought you only had the Mustang, Sean, this is really nice."  
  
"I figured if you were gonna get all dressed up for me I should take you out in style, so I picked this up this afternoon. Maybe it'll help keep my mind off those legs of yours." Sean said looking down at her exposed thigh from the split in her dress. Elana pulled her coat over her leg, but Sean pulled it back off and firmly placed his hand on her leg where he kept it until they got to the restaurant.  
  
"I didn't mind the mustang. You keep it so nice. You seem to be free with your money these days. I hope you know you can't deduct any of this stuff."  
  
"Don't worry about what I can deduct. And as a matter of fact I leased this Mercedes under my corporate name, so I can deduct the entire lease amount Ms. CPA." He said with emphasis.  
  
After about an hour of each of them proving their business sense, they arrived at the restaurant and got out at the valet parking garage. Sean handed over his keys and reached for Elana who had walked over to his side of the car after the valet opened the door for her. They went to the elevators, and got in to ascend to the top floor where they would dine while viewing the city in the panoramic view. When they arrived, the hostess knew Sean from business meetings, Crealite hosted and a few dates with Sheridan who had insisted that he take her there because someone was supposed to be there on a certain night and she wanted to get a chance to mingle with them. Sean knew she never appreciated the scenery and she usually angered the chef and staff because of her consistently sending the food back and berating the staff. The hostess also knew Elana from her holding business luncheons and occasionally attending Sunday brunch with Gail and Max. He was really happy that Sean was with anyone but Sheridan Winthrop.  
  
"Hello Mr. Logan, Ms. Powers. Mr. Logan we have your table by the window prepared for you. I believe it's your favorite spot also, Ms. Powers."  
  
The hostess personally showed them to their table and Sean and Elana found that it was a favorite spot for both of them whenever they came. After checking the menu and ordering drinks and appetizers, Sean and Elana took the time to really get to know each other again.  
  
"So, what do you hope to be doing in the next five years?" Sean asked as he played with Elana's fingers.  
  
"Oh, I don't know. A lot of things I guess. I hope my company becomes part of the Fortune 1000. I'd also like to expand into Canada or Europe. I'm working on teaching inner city kids accounting fundamentals, which will hopefully give them an incentive to enter the field. I hope to start on my Ph.D. so that I can teach at some of the Ivy League schools, particularly University of Pennsylvania. Those are just some things."  
  
"What about your personal life?"  
  
"Well, I told you I'm buying that mink this year. I also plan to get a 7 series BMW, fully loaded. That's my dream car..."  
  
"You haven't mentioned a family. Is that something you don't want right now?"  
  
"I really haven't had a reason to think about that. I've always been so engrossed in my work, but I definitely want to be married and have a few children. Chelsea is such a joy, so it would be nice for her to be friends with my children just like Gail and I are."  
  
"So is this something you want within the next five years, or later?"  
  
"Well, I'm not getting any younger. I think after five years it'll be too late for me. Maybe three or four kids would be nice. I think what I truly want is to be with a man who adores me, to have good health, a nice home and a good business. I guess that's enough for anybody. If I get half of that I'll be happy."  
  
"Sounds like you already have all of that now." Sean said  
  
"Yea, I guess so. What about you Sean what do you want for yourself within five years."  
  
"You."  
  
Elana blushed as she continued "What about everything else?"  
  
"If I have you, then I will have everything else. You already said you wanted three or four children. I'm ready to comply with that. What else does a man need but a beautiful, motivated and loving woman? If he has that, then he can build everything else from it. I've accomplished a lot, so I don't need any more money. I really just want to be with you and build a life together. There was a time when I wanted to prove myself in business, but I've done that. Maybe not with Crealite yet, but personally I've done really well in my investments and I actually don't need Crealite to keep me going, but it is the family business and as an only child I guess I'll always be there."  
  
"I'm glad that you got out from under your father's shadow. I'm sure his footsteps seemed to be hard to follow at times."  
  
"Yeah, they were, but things got easier for me when I realized that I needed to make my own footsteps. So I did." Sean's voice became more tender when he shifted the conversation. "Elana where my father is concerned I don't want you to have any apprehension about him. You won't ever have to worry about him harassing you or anything. I'll make sure of that."  
  
"O.k. Sean. I must admit that I was concerned about that."  
  
"Well don't be. There are some things I need to tell you. I just feel you should know about this. My great, great grandparents set up a trust fund after they sold their tobacco business. And generally the interest on the money goes to the first born of the eldest child, so I came into mine when I was 25. The same will be true with Sheridan's child. I wish I could change that, but I can't, so that means that if you and I ever had children our first born would not have any claim to any of that money."  
  
"Sean, you didn't have to tell me that. I'm not concerned about money in that way."  
  
"I had to tell you, because I want to be up front with everything. The thing is, I guess I feel bad for messing up like this. It's a lot of money. Somewhere around six million dollars, but with inflation leveled off with interest rates by the time the kid hits 25 it may be worth three or four times that."  
  
"Does Sheridan know about this?"  
  
"Yeah, my dad never hesitated to let her know she needed to get me down the aisle and have some kids so that I would have someone to pass the money on to. She's always known about it."  
  
"Does it require proof of parentage?"  
  
"I'm not sure. That never was an issue, so I doubt it. Back in those days you really could not prove something like that."  
  
"Well I'd advise you to do it in this case, just to be sure and so that no one will bring it into question in the future."  
  
Sean agreed with Elana and said he would have a blood test done as soon as he could. They spent another few hours in the dining room and afterwards Sean suggested they go to the club in the building for after dinner drinks and dancing.  
  
Once they got into the club, they picked a seat, and Elana ordered a drink. Then they got up to dance. On the dance floor, the band played R&B tunes that seemed to be just right for the two of them. Songs such as "You Belong To Me"(Anita Baker), "Tender Love" (Force MD's), and "Baby Hold On to Me" (Gerald Levert) were played as Sean and Elana held on to each other oblivious to everyone around them. They stayed on the dance floor until the bar was about to close and the last song was sung, "Send for Me" (Atlantic Star).  
  
Now baby can't you tell. It's written all over my face.  
  
My days and nights would be a living hell, if you go away.  
  
So think about the misery, that you'd be putting me through.  
  
Goodbye, does not mean a thing, with you and I.  
  
Our love has stood through all the test, of time.  
  
If you're planning to leave me behind, let me put one more thing on your mind.  
  
If you ever leave me baby. Send for me.  
  
I'm just a telephone call away. Send for me.  
  
Put a message in a bottle, baby. Send for me.  
  
See you're my everything, sweet baby.  
  
My whole world revolves around you.   
  
Nothing is what I am, without you here in my life...  
  
Finally, the singer thanked the audience as everyone clapped, except Sean and Elana who could not seem to let go of each other. When the people on the dance floor began to disperse, Sean took Elana's hand and led her back to their table where he helped her with her coat and they left headed back to Long Island.  
  
When they drove up into Elana's parking lot, Sean was helping her out of the car.  
  
"Thank you for tonight. You're a great date!"  
  
"So are you." Elana said  
  
They walked to her door and repeated their usual scenario.  
  
When Elana came back to the foyer to let Sean know the house was secure, Sean initiated his departure. "Well I'd better go. I'll be looking forward to tomorrow, I'd like to get to Jersey by 4pm, so could I come by and pick you up at say 2:30 or so?"  
  
"Yeah, that'll be fine. I should be home by then. I'm going to Connecticut in the morning with Gail for her doctor's appointment. I was thinking that I could stop off and see my parents, then come on back home."  
  
"If you're going to Connecticut, maybe I could take you both and check in on my grandfather while you and Gail are at your parents. Then we can bring Gail back and go on to New Jersey."  
  
"I'd like that. I'll call Gail early and make sure it's o.k. with her. If there's a problem, I'll call, otherwise, if you can be here between 8:30 and 9:00 it would be good, because her appointment is at 11:00."  
  
"I'll be here." He said, looking at her as if he wanted to say something else, but couldn't or wouldn't at least. "Well, let me get home. I'll see you in the morning." Sean instinctively took her hand and leaned down to give her a short, but tender and meaningful kiss. He did not want to touch her too much because he knew where it would lead. After he kissed her they both stood there in her foyer glaring at each other not really wanting to say goodbye.  
  
"Did I mention how absolutely out of this world you look tonight?"  
  
"No, I don't believe I remember you telling me that."  
  
"Well, you do, so much so that I don't want to leave right now."  
  
"You know you don't have to."  
  
Sean pulled a strand of her curly hair out straight and let it bounce back in place. Then he slowly slid his forefinger down the side of her neck around the fringe of her dress. His finger outlined her bare chest and found it's way to the bulge of her clevage where he stopped and tenderly rubbed her. Then he let his finger continue down until it stopped at the crevice of the dress where it gathered in the front. "But I need to."  
  
"You're not scared of me are you Sean."  
  
"By no means honey. Just a little while longer and I'll show you, I'm not scared, but more focused on what needs to be done.." Breaking his mesmerizing stare he removed his hand from her. "Well I've got to get out of here. Promise you'll dream of me."  
  
"I promise. And Sean. I love you. Thank you, for everything."  
  
With that, Sean opened the door walked out and closed it behind him. He rested on the door, to regain his composure, because he was about to go back on his own promise. He had not anticipated that their just being together would hit him so hard. She was everything he wanted and having her was as easy as just taking her, but he wanted things to be special between them. He wanted every significant thing they did together to be memorable. Leaving her tonight caused his body to actually ache. It was as if he had torn himself away from her and ruptured some part of him in the process. He could not believe that his two weeks away from her had only increased his attraction tenfold. And her appearance tonight had magnified it even more. He noticed many other men at the restaurant and bar admiring her and he just could not believe that he was with someone so beautiful and captivating. He felt honored and proud that she was with him, and he could see that he was not going to be able to stay away from her much longer, but he also knew he could not avoid her like he had for the past two weeks. After a few seconds he took a deep breath and headed to his car. He decided that when he got to Connecticut, he would go to the jeweler and try to rush the order he had put in a few weeks earlier. He held on to the fact that he would see her in just a few hours and he was relieved that someone would accompany them all day.  
  
At the same time Elana also leaned up against the front door. She could feel her heart racing from his touching her even though it had only been a subtle touch. She wished that he would hurry up and do whatever it was that he felt he had to do, so that they could really be together in the way her body longed for. She contemplated whether she should take Gail's advice and just present herself on a silver platter and she wished she had the opportunity to do it before he left. Those crystal blue eyes were molded into her brain and she wondered what it was he was thinking when he melted her heart while he stared at her. After she heard his car drive off she moved from the door and went to get ready for bed. Tomorrow she would see him again and she would take every opportunity to intensify her efforts to have him claim her as his own. 


	33. EARLY PREPARATION

Part 33: EARLY PREPARATION  
  
Saturday morning Elana awakened bright and early to get herself together for the day. She had called Gail to make sure she was in agreement with the arrangements, then she went to get dressed. She wanted to look particularly nice for Sean, so after mulling through many outfits, she eventually decided on wearing a wine-colored, u-neck, long-sleeve, stretch sweater, a fitted black suede skirt that stopped below her knees with black leather, one-inch, princess heel pumps. She brushed the spiral curls out of her hair that she and Gail had created the night before, parted it on one side and curled it all under, then tucked the heavier side behind her ear. She put on jet-black mascara and eyeliner, on the top of her eyelids, to accentuate her brown eyes and she wore a wine colored lipstick to match her sweater. She also decided to wear the bracelet Sean had given her the night before and now she was ready, all she had to do was wait for Sean and Gail.  
  
While she waited she ate an apple and drank a cup of tea as she flipped through the morning paper and thought about seeing Sam again and meeting his wife. She was happy that Sam had married a white woman because it would eliminate any potential awkward moments when they were all together. She felt that since Sam and his wife had been married for seven years as Sean had indicated, then they all should be very comfortable around each other at least. As she continued to read, the phone rang...  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey girl! I just called to tell you that I'm running a little late."  
  
"Why, what happened? "  
  
"Girl, Chelsea, decided that the jelly from the toast looked better on her dress than on the toast, so we just had to pick another ensemble for her to wear. I'll be there as soon as I can."  
  
"Alright. We'll be waiting."  
  
"I hope you find something to do with that man of yours while you're waiting." Gail said slyly.  
  
"We'll see."  
  
The women giggled at Elana's comment as they said their good-byes.  
  
After a few more minutes of waiting, it seemed that Sean was running a little late too, so Elana flipped on the small t.v. in her kitchen and watched a cooking show on the Food Network. While she watched the chef preparing certain dishes, she was reminded that she would eventually have to make Sean a home-cooked meal. It made her a little nervous because she did not know how in the world she was going to pull that one off. She felt she could do just about anything including: out swim just about anybody; play a mean game of tennis and racquetball, redevelop a company and turn it around from bankruptcy, teach complicated mathematical equations; and yet she did not know how to adjust an oven to the proper setting and mix a few food items together for a meal. She had to laugh at herself and figured that eventually she would learn, even if she had to take classes. As she thought about it, the doorbell rang and she knew it was Sean. She quickly turned off the television and ran to the door, before she opened it she straightened herself out one more time, then opened the door to find Sean there smiling at her.  
  
"Hi, lollipop!" He said happy to see her and holding up a long, white box of roses for her.  
  
"Hi! Come on in." She said taking the box of roses and closing the door as he walked in. "You got these for me, Sean?"  
  
"You're my rose aren't you?" He asked taking her hand in his as they walked down the foyer and then the steps to her living room.  
  
"You never referred to me as your rose before."  
  
"That only happens when you wear sexy red dresses like you did last night. I thought about you and that dress all night, so I just had to get you some roses, before I came over. That's why I'm a little late, I hope Gail does not mind. Where is she?" Sean asked looking around.  
  
"Oh, she was running late herself. She should be here any minute." Elana put the roses down on her sofa table and turned back to Sean. "Are not you forgetting something?"  
  
"Oh, Yeah! I'm sorry I just assumed you had a vase for them. We'll pick one up today."  
  
"No, I'm not talking about a vase, Sean. I'm talking about my morning kiss."  
  
"When did you start getting morning kisses?"  
  
"Hopefully in a few seconds."  
  
Sean laughed lightly as he moved into her to honor her request. He was careful not to squeeze her too close to him, so he just slightly held her around her waist keeping his other hand in his pocket. During the kiss, Elana was disappointed because she could tell he was holding back. She was really getting tired of his waiting game even though it was a sweet thought. As far as she was concerned he had proven that he loved her and that it was not just physical, but she was ready to go to the next step and she had already decided that she was gonna break him or die trying. She knew she could not marry him at least until after she was finished at Crealite and that would be several months from now. She did not want to wait that long for him. It was not that she had lost all her moral sense, but the fact that she was in her thirties, she knew she was going to spend the rest of her life with Sean, and her body called out for only him, that she did not want to wait. So as he kissed her innocently she pressed herself up against him tighter and weaved her fingers through his hair.  
  
"Elana, please don't do this to me." Sean said between her kisses as he took his hand out of his pocket and held her tighter.  
  
Elana broke off her kiss and looked at him. "I have not done anything to you yet." Then she started to nibble on his ear. "But I'd like to."  
  
Just as she started, her doorbell rang and both of them were shocked out of their enjoyment.  
  
"Saved by the bell." Sean said as Elana moved away from him and went to the door.  
  
"Hey, girl. I'm ready." Gail said walking into the foyer area. "We going in my car or Sean's" she asked as she looked down into the living room at Sean leaning up against the back of the chair with his hands holding onto the back of it and his head up to the ceiling. "You alright Sean?"  
  
"Yeah, Gail. I'm fine." Sean said standing up straight trying to get over Elana nibbling his ear. She had never done that before and he was amazed at the effect it had on him.  
  
"Humph, well what's it gonna be?"  
  
"What?" Elana inquired forgetting what Gail had just asked about.  
  
"Who's driving? You guys must have been into something. If I'm interrupting, I can just go to Connecticut with Chelsea."  
  
"No, Gail. We're ready. I can drive." Sean said as he walked up the steps to meet them in the foyer. He was not about to be with Elana alone again, at least until he was ready to propose to her.  
  
Gail looked at Sean peculiarly and then Chelsea said something. She was on the floor with her little purse opened. After a few seconds she pulled out a comb and walked a few steps over to Sean. "Com har." she said holding out the little comb to Sean. They all looked at her and then at Sean and laughed. Sean rubbed his hair back and took Chelsea's comb and pretended to comb his hair, then he handed it back to her.  
  
"Thank you, very much Chelsea." Sean said as he picked her up. "I see you're gonna be looking out for me." They all laughed again and headed out the door.  
  
Elana picked up her leather jacket and locked up while Gail got the car seat and put it in Sean's ml 430. Gail had to show Sean how to buckle Chelsea into the car seat, which took a few extra minutes. When they finally got on the road, they were all laughing and talking about their college days. Gail teased Sean for taking her friend away whenever he was in town and told him a lot of her lonely weekends were because of him. When they got on the subject of graduate school, Sean now saw that Elana had gone to Pennsylvania to go to school because that's where Gail was going, so the two friends wanted to be together. It was so unlike the story Elana's father had told him when he went there to find Elana. He had said that she decided to go to a school, with another young man whom she was interested in at the time. Now it all made since and as Gail and Elana continued to talk, some of that bad feeling about seeing Elana's father on this trip were welling up inside him. He decided that if Elana wanted to see her father he would stay in the car and wait for her. He did not want another confrontation with George Powers to ruin his day with Elana.  
  
Finally they arrived in Connecticut at the fertility facility. Gail explained that Max had done his part and that she only needed to see if the implanting had done the trick or if she needed another. She estimated that it would take no more than an hour. Sean told them he needed to check on his grandfather, but really he was going to the jeweler's, which was not far away. Chelsea had quickly grown attached to Sean and would not let go of his hand when he was trying to give her over to Gail. Evidently the last time Chelsea was at the facility, she had some bad experience and did not want to go in. Sean offered to take her with him, but Gail was skeptical about his grandfather and Sean bringing a little black baby girl in the house with him.  
  
"Now, I don't want him saying nothing nasty to my baby, cause granddaddy or no granddaddy I'll go over to that house and kick his..."  
  
Sean stopped her "Gail, don't worry about my grandpa. He knows about Elana and me and he's all right with it. He would not do or say anything to hurt a little girl, especially one as cute as Chelsea." Sean said pulling Chelsea's nose making her laugh. "I need to make a business stop downtown too, so I'm gonna do that first and then go home if I have time.  
  
Gail reluctantly agreed and Sean kissed Elana on the cheek, then the two women went into the doctor's office.  
  
Sean buckled Chelsea back into the car and drove to the jeweler's office. When he got there, it seemed to be very busy, so Sean knew he probably would not have enough time to go see his grandfather. Sean got out of the car and before giving the valet his keys he unbuckled Chelsea from the car seat and held her up next to him while giving the valet his keys. The drivers all gave Sean a strange look, but no one said anything and he ignored it. He actually saw this as practice for him, if he and Elana had any children because he knew that more than likely their children would have darker skin, appearing more black than white, so whatever he would be confronted with having Chelsea, he surmised he probably would get the same thing with his own children.   
  
When he walked into the jeweler's store he saw that there were many people shopping for the exclusive jewelry that the Tiffany & Company sold. Sean looked around in the encasements while Chelsea looked on intrigued at the sparkling diamonds. "Wat dat?" Chelsea asked pointing at a diamond elephant broach.  
  
Sean smiled at her and leaned her closer to the encasement. "That is a pretty toy for ladies like Ms. Elana or your mommy. This is a big toy store for big girls. One day you'll be a big girl too and someone will come to a place like this to buy you lots of these toys. You understand, now?"  
  
Chelsea had her finger in her mouth and she shook her head yes. Sean kept casually looking over other items while he waited for a salesperson to become free. After a few minutes the jeweler, Mr. Russell, recognized him and hurried over.  
  
"Mr. Logan, Mr. Logan! Why did you not let me know that you had been waiting? I am terribly sorry. What is it I can help you with today?" The man asked trying to look indifferent to the fact that one of his most exclusive white customers was holding onto a little black baby girl.  
  
"I didn't want to take you from your other customers Mr. Russell. I wanted to ask..."  
  
Chelsea interrupted Sean as he was talking and pointed at Mr. Russell, "Who dat?" she asked and looked back at Sean waiting for him to tell her.  
  
"Chelsea this is Mr. Russell and Mr. Russell this is Chelsea. Chelsea, Mr. Russell is the man who keeps all of these pretty toys until someone comes to pick up the one they want."  
  
Chelsea was satisfied with Sean's answer and busied herself looking around at other things as Sean continued his conversation.  
  
"Like I was saying, I wanted to see if there was any way I could get the ring next week. It's really important."  
  
"Why don't we go in the back and discuss this Mr. Logan. I can look it up and see if that will be possible."  
  
"Thanks"   
  
The two men went into Mr. Russell's office and Sean played horsee with Chelsea on his lap while Mr. Russell searched for the status of the ring on his database system. Finally he found it and read the notes that had been added.  
  
"Well, you know we had to send the ring to our British affiliate to ensure the finest cut of the stones you requested. It seems that the diamonds were sent to them this week. It took them a little more time than usual to find flawless diamonds that could be cut this way. In any event they are working on the cut now and the place setting will be next. I'm afraid I can't promise this to you in any less than two or three more weeks, sir."  
  
"Three weeks!" Sean said. He knew he was not going to be able to keep his hands off Elana for another three weeks without alienating her like he had the week before and he did not want to sadden her any more by doing that, so he asked about his alternatives. "What if I go there and pick it up myself?"  
  
"Well that still would not rush the process. The jewelers have to cut the stone, mold the platinum and set the stones perfectly. That takes time Mr. Logan. They won't be rushed, if you want them to give you the quality you requested. Look I'll tell you what. I'll make sure to call them everyday and inquire as to how the process is going. If they know I'll be calling on a daily basis maybe they'll work a little faster just to get rid of me. I have done that in the past with some of our more exclusive customers and it usually works. I may be able to get the ring at the beginning of week after next for you."  
  
"If you could do that, Mr. Russell, you don't know what a relief it will be for me."  
  
"Is Ms. Winthrop rushing you down the aisle, Mr. Logan?" The jeweler asked familiar with the fact that the two had been dating for a while because of Sheridan's frequent visits.  
  
"Ms. Winthrop?"  
  
"Why yes. She comes in here often looking for engagement rings, indicating that the two of you are to be married soon. You've got yourself one beautiful woman there Mr. Logan and I know you're proud to have her at your side. Any man would be." The jeweler was trying to compliment Sean on as much as possible, when in actuality he despised Sheridan because she would always come in order jewelry and bring it back saying it was not what she had asked for because of some minor mistake. He just wanted to ensure the sale with Sean and the hefty commission that went along with it."  
  
"When was the last time she was here?" Sean asked.  
  
"Oh I have not seen her lately. It's been several weeks now."  
  
"Oh, I see. Well actually Sheridan does not know anything about this and if she comes in again I would prefer if you not mentioned it." Sean did not want to tell the jeweler everything because he did not know the extent of Sheridan's acquaintance with Mr. Russell and he did not want to risk upsetting her too much because of the pregnancy.  
  
"Certainly, Mr. Logan." He said as they stood up, Sean picked Chelsea up and the two men shook hands. "She's going to be a very surprised young lady."  
  
"That she is Mr. Russell. I'll look forward to hearing from you as soon as the ring comes in."  
  
"Why we will deliver it straight to your office in New York."  
  
"Great!" Sean exclaimed enthusiastically.  
  
"Gaet!" Chelsea imitated Sean, putting her arms in the air.  
  
Sean and Mr. Russell laughed as Sean left to go back and pick up Gail & Elana, before he drove off he called the office to tell them that he was on his way, but the secretary indicated that it would be another half hour or so. This gave Sean time to go see his grandfather, so that's where he headed.  
  
Logan Home  
  
"Grandpa! It's Sean!" Sean came into the door alerting his grandfather that he was there. He was holding Chelsea and went to grandpa's room to see what he was doing. Grandpa's t.v. was on, but he was not in his room, so Sean searched the house for him while he pretended to be an airplane with Chelsea on top of his shoulders. He finally found his grandfather in the game room playing pool with his lifelong friend Ed Jasper. Ed was a tall lanky man who always wore an old red baseball cap, for as long as Sean could remember. He and grandpa William had known each other since primary school. He was a famous jazz composer and had taught Sean how to play a base. Ed and grandpa used to sneak a young Sean into the jazz clubs with them when he was younger and they would always get chastised about it from their wives and Sean's mother. Eventually Ed moved away to Florida after he retired, but now his health was failing more and his daughter and her husband, who still lived in Connecticut, brought him back there to live with them. Sean was surprised and happy to see Ed.   
  
"Hey, grandpa!"  
  
"Sean, boy. How you doin'. You remember old Ed here don'tcha?"  
  
"Yeah, I remember Ed!" Sean said putting Chelsea down and giving Ed a big hug.  
  
"He just moved in with his daughter and her husband, so he's gonna be coming over more often so we can get together." "Ed, you know Sean runs the company now."   
  
"Well, you don't say! That's great Sean. Who's this little one?" Ed asked looking at Chelsea.  
  
Sean picked Chelsea back up. "This is my girlfriend's, friend's little girl, Chelsea!" Sean had to shout because Ed had a hearing problem.  
  
"Hey there Chelsea. I'm Mr. Ed." He said pinching her cheek.  
  
"Miter Ed!" Chelsea said repeating his name.  
  
"She's a fat little thing." Grandpa said. "What your mama been feeding you honey?" Grandpa asked. She did not know what to make of grandpa because he was so gruff looking and unlike her own grandfathers and her dad and Sean, so she actually was a little scared of him.  
  
Grandpa came in closer to her and squeezed her leg. "Yeah, you're a little porker alright." He said pinching her cheek. "I'm grandpa, but the pretty ladies call me Willie." Grandpa tried to put on a funny face, which cheered Chelsea up a little.  
  
"Fee Wiwee! Fee Wiwee!" Chelsea said throwing her arms up.  
  
"Yeah free Willie. What's she talking about?" Grandpa wanted to know looking at Sean.  
  
"It was a movie grandpa about a whale, whose name was Willie."  
  
"Ah, so you're trying to say I'm fat too huh?" "Put her down Sean, so I can take her over here to this table."  
  
Sean complied and sat Chelsea down on her feet. When she got down she sat on the floor and opened her purse like she had with Sean and pulled out her comb again. "Com har!" She said handing the comb to grandpa whose short gray hair was flying all over his head. Sean leaned down and took the comb and handed it to grandpa who took the comb laughing.   
  
"She's a smart little thing ain't she. How old is she Sean?"  
  
"She's two."   
  
"Humph, it was so long ago that your father and uncle were that young. It's almost hard to imagine. You remember Jenny being this young Ed?" Grandpa yelled out to Ed.  
  
"No can't say I recall that Will. Too long ago."  
  
"Yeah. Sean it's been too long since we had any babies in this house. You better get to working on that Powers woman, boy so we can have some younguns running around here soon. I'm hoping she's better in bed to ya' than missy was, so you can start popping them in the oven boy like your great grandfather did. Why within a year first came the twins, then my aunts, and years later my father. You can't be wasting no time, we gotta have somebody to run Crealite after you get too old to do it, so you don't have much time."  
  
"We haven't been together yet grandpa. I'm trying to wait until we get married." Sean picked Chelsea back up because she was reaching up for him. She wanted to be on the same level as the grownups.  
  
"Humph, don't remember the last time I heard a young man these days say something like that. But that's good boy, that's real good. You must have a lot of respect for her. That's wonderful."  
  
"I don't know how wonderful it is. I'm about to lose my mind. I went to the jeweler today to see if they could hurry it up a little, so they're gonna try. She's just not making it easy for me."  
  
"Say she's really pretty huh?"  
  
"She's more than pretty grandpa. She's absolutely spectacular to me. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever known and I feel so good when we're together it's like people look at us and are asking what somebody looking like her and who has so much going for her wants to be with a simple looking white guy like me. She can have anybody she wants grandpa, but she wants me and I'm having a real hard time holding back from her. I don't know how in the world I'm going to pull this off until that ring comes."  
  
"Well, you'll be alright, just stick to your guns. And don't be thinkin' you're simple. You're my grandson and ain't no Logan man yet been accused of being simple lookin'." Grandpa told him as he headed over to a table where some cupcakes sat that Ed's daughter had baked. "I know sweet little girls like sweet things. You want a cupcake?" He asked Chelsea.  
  
Chelsea lit up hearing the word cupcake and she looked at grandpa again with her two fingers in her mouth waiting for him to produce the cupcake before she finalized her assessment of the old man.  
  
Grandpa picked up a vanilla cupcake then handed it over to Chelsea, but Chelsea would not take it. "No! choc' it" she said indicating she wanted a chocolate cupcake and not the vanilla. Grandpa apologized and got her what she wanted and then she took it and was happy. Sean put her down on the floor and let her walk around with the chocolate cupcake.  
  
"So when you gonna ask the Powers woman to marry you?"  
  
"Who's getting married?" Ed asked only discerning part of the question.  
  
"Sean. He's gonna marry that Powers girl from high school!" Grandpa yelled back at him  
  
"Oh yeah, the one that's black like your gra-"  
  
"Yeah that one Ed!" Grandpa yelled back trying to cut off what Ed was going to say.  
  
Sean was interested in Ed's unfinished comment, thinking it was something racially founded. "Who did he say Elana looks like grandpa?"  
  
"Ah, don't pay Ed no attention. He's a little senile you know." Grandpa told Sean as he made circular motion on the side of his head with his first finger .  
  
Getting back to what grandpa had asked him earlier Sean answered. "I'm gonna ask Elana as soon as I get that ring."  
  
"You got the prenuptial agreement ready yet?"  
  
"No, I'm not going to ask her to sign one grandpa. Whatever I have I'll be sharing with her because she should have been with me all these years anyway while I was making the money."  
  
"Now Sean, you know young people don't stay together like they did back in my day and even in your father's day. If something happens and you all get divorced, she'll be able to take a chunk out of you. Don't let love get in the way of being sensible."  
  
"Grandpa, if she leaves me, she can have everything, because I won't need it anymore. Right now the only thing my money is good for is spending it on her besides she's sacrificed being with me because she thought it would be in my best interest. That was so unselfish of her, so I won't be selfish with her when we get married."  
  
At that moment Sean noticed Chelsea making her way to the glass doors leading to the pool, so he jetted after her and stopped her just before she put her hands on the window, but not before she smooshed the frosted head of the cupcake into her dress. "Oh! No! Gail is going to kill me." Sean exclaimed as he panicked looking for something to wipe off Chelsea's dress. When he found a towel, he only made it worse by smudging it. "Oh God! What am I gonna do. I can't take her back to her mother looking like this." Sean was perplexed.  
  
"Boy, you can't let that baby walk around with a chocolate cupcake in her hand. If you plan on having any babies, you better learn that. She needed a high chair or you should have sat with her. Else she's gonna mess up more than that pretty little dress of hers. She'll have that chocolate all over her shoes and everything else around here.  
  
"I didn't think about that." Sean said as he continued to try and get the chocolate off her. "Look grandpa, I'm gonna have to go. I think I saw a store downtown, so I'm gonna go there and try to replace this dress. I'm sorry about running out on you. I'm glad your friend is here with you. You have to come to New York with me one weekend, soon and get out of Connecticut for a change."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. You keep tellin' me that. You just go cover your tracts. You got a lot to learn boy. You can't be bringing no woman's baby back looking no different than when she left her with you or you'll be getting cussed out!" He yelled as Sean made his way hurriedly out of the house with Chelsea in tow to search for a similar dress in town. 


	34. A DAUGHTER'S CHOICE

When Sean got to a boutique that sold baby clothes, he asked the lady if she had something similar to what Chelsea had on. The sales woman looked in the tag and noticed that it was a Ranier collection dress, which was Gail's design under her maiden name and the boutique carried that line, so she quickly brought back an identical dress for Chelsea. Sean bought the dress and asked the sales person to change her. After Chelsea was finished Sean was given a bag containing the soiled dress and he ran out to go get Gail and Elana.   
  
When he arrived at the facility, they were waiting for him.  
  
"Where have you been, we were getting a little worried?" Elana asked as Sean was opening the car doors for them. Gail was already inside looking over Chelsea and making sure she was alright.  
  
"Oh, we just got caught up with my grandfather." He said and then kissed Elana on the cheek before he helped her in the van.  
  
Gail was talking to Chelsea. "How was mommy's baby. Nobody was mean to you were they?" She asked rubbing her face.  
  
"No mommy. I make mess."  
  
"Huh? What's she talking about Sean?"  
  
"Don't know." Sean said as he closed the door and went to get in the driver's seat.  
  
"Where did you go, honey?"  
  
"I see toys, mommy. Big girl, toys."  
  
"Big girl toys, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, I was telling her she's a big girl at the toy store." Sean said, hoping Chelsea would not give away where they had went.  
  
Gail did not pursue it seeing that everything was alright.  
  
"Sean, I would like to stop and see my parents before we head back. I haven't been to see them in a few months and they'll be really upset if they find out I was in town and didn't stop in. "  
  
"Sure babe." Sean had hoped she wouldn't ask him this, but since she had he figured he would just get ready to face her father's wrath. He just hoped this visit wouldn't be like the last where George Powers threatened to call the police on him.  
  
Sean took his time getting to Elana parents' home even taking the long route, but she and Gail did not notice because they were too busy talking.  
  
"Now this third time could be the charm, girl. It's got to be! I don't know why it's taking me so long to get pregnant again. It was so easy with Chelsea. I missed a pill and the next thing I know, I'm cursing Sam's birth while he was rubbing my back during my contractions."  
  
"It'll work Gail, don't worry about it. Maybe you two should go on a long vacation together and relax. Then it may just happen naturally." Elana said.  
  
"You know the funny thing is when a woman doesn't think about getting pregnant she usually does, but when she's trying to it seems to be impossible. But your suggestion Elana sounds good. Sam is coming home early today so that we can spend some family time together. Maybe tonight I'll suggest that. I'm also gonna be working on that jag I want tonight. I got some of that Indian love music he likes and after I'm finished with him, girlfriend is gonna have her jag by the end of the month. You hear what I'm saying." Gail exclaimed as she and Elana gave a high five. "I've been taking it easy on the man because of all the work he does, but I'm getting a little anxious now."  
  
"You have to do all of that to get a car out of your husband." Sean asked butting into the conversation.  
  
"Sean. No sugar I don't have to do anything. It's just a hell of a lot more fun loving it out of him than just asking him to get it for me or buying it myself. I've been trying to teach Elana that for a few years now." Gail said hitting Elana across the back of her head. "Besides this jag will be worth every position I have to be in to get it. It's custom designed, crème colored with gold trimming and rims. The interior is crème also with an oak-wood lacquered finish dashboard. I'm gonna put my last name on the plate and..."  
  
Sean interjected. "You know Sheridan has a car like that. She just got it a few months ago. I don't think she appreciates it as much as you do though."  
  
"Well, she certainly has good taste because those cars are hard to get and the only people who would know about them are those of us who actually go through the custom catalogue that they put out every five years. As a matter of fact, I do a lot of traveling and I've only actually seen...." Gail stopped because a thought had just hit her. "Where does Sheridan live?"  
  
"Doesn't she still live here in Connecticut Sean?" Elana asked.  
  
"Yeah, she does. She bought a mini mansion over in Glendale Estates a few years back. I'll never know why she bought that big house just for herself, complete with a full servants staff and everything, but that's just how she is. She only associates herself with the best of everything. It's all part of her perfect image obsession."  
  
"Perfect image huh?" Gail asked while a few things processed in her perceptive mind. All of a sudden the car was quiet except for Chelsea's occasional slurs and nobody but Gail knew why.  
  
Eventually, Sean was driving up to the circular driveway of Elana's childhood home. He felt the pressure welling up inside him as he saw the same groundskeeper, who he had met right before he went away to college. When he parked, Gail busied herself getting Chelsea out of the car and Elana turned to Sean then took his hand in hers.  
  
"I want you to come in with me Sean."  
  
"You sure about that? I don't want to ruin an otherwise good day."  
  
"You're not going to ruin my day honey. This is something I need to do for myself, once and for all.  
  
Sean looked into her big brown eyes and knew he couldn't refuse her anything she asked of him even putting himself in a position of getting kicked out of her parents' home. The parents of many other women would have begged for him to walk through their door with their daughter, but the father of the woman he loved wanted to incarcerate him for loving her. "O.k. sweetheart." He said with hesitancy, not knowing what was to come about in the next few minutes. Sean got out of the car and went over to help Elana out and the four of them walked toward the front door. Gail moved in front of them.  
  
"Ya'll gonna have to move out the way, so I can get in first. Because if Sean and Mr. Powers start throwing blows I want my baby out the way." She said as she rang the bell. Phyllis the maid answered the door. "Hey Phyllis girl, how you doing!" Gail exhorted when the two women saw each other.   
  
They exchanged hugs and Phyllis grabbed for Elana too as they all greeted each other. When she caught sight of Sean she remembered him. "You back AGAIN Mr. Logan?" She asked in a humorous manner.  
  
Gail went on past Phyllis trying to get Chelsea out of the pending line of fire. "Yeah, look whose coming to dinner ya'll. Just let me get out the way before you go get Mr. Powers."  
  
Phyllis continued. " Well can't say you ain't persistent. Maybe if you didn't wait so many years in between visits Mr. Powers would've gotten used to you by now."  
  
"I don't know about that." Sean said.  
  
"Where are my parents Phyllis?"  
  
"Oh , they're having lunch together in the sun room. You two can go on in there."  
  
Holding Sean's hand Elana thanked Phyllis as she started to make her way to the sun room that overlooked the backyard and swimming pool. As they got closer they could hear Gail giving her normal festive and jovial greetings to Elana's parents. Eventually Elana walked in the room with Sean following closely behind her. When she saw her parents she let Sean go and went over to them. "Hi mom, Hi dad!" She said as she hugged them both individually. Elana made her way back next to Sean and he held her by her waist. "I'm sure you both remember Sean." She said with a faint smile.  
  
"What the he..." Mr. Powers caught himself remembering that a child was in the room. "Why did you bring him here Elana?"  
  
"Sean brought me here to see you and mom."  
  
George and Denise Powers sat not knowing what else to say. Denise Powers was a very distinguished looking woman. She was light brown skinned with short wavy reddish hair that she wore cut very close to her head. She sported large exotic earrings and dark lipstick, which brought out her hazel colored eyes. She was a senior professor of African American Studies at Yale in New Haven, CT. Mrs. Powers had long since left Elana alone about Sean Logan and she knew that her daughter was not going to be satisfied with anyone else, so seeing Sean again really wasn't too much of a surprise to her.  
  
"I thought we were good and rid of you Sean Logan. You haven't been around for about ten years and now you've come back into Elana's life. I told you too many times to stay away from my daughter, and now you're just out right disrespecting me in my own house!"  
  
"Sir, I wouldn't have stayed away this long if it hadn't been for you and my father trying to keep us apart. And with all do respect sir, I don't really care about your opinion regarding Elana and me now. I did when I was younger, but now the only thing I care about is what Elana thinks."  
  
"Whatever I did, I did for Elana's own good. You're nothing but pompous, white trash thinking you're God's gift to my daughter because you got a little money and because you want her. She can have any black man she wants, if you would just stay out of her life. You strung her along in college until you got caught, but Elana I hope you're not going to let this man do the same thing to you now. You're too smart and too old for this now."  
  
"Daddy, there's no cause for this. I'm a grown woman now and the truth is Sean and I truly love each other. We always have, even while we were apart and now that we've come together again you and everybody else is going to have to get used to it or disassociate yourselves from us. So you make your choice daddy, you either accept Sean and me or we can leave, right now."  
  
"Elana you don't have to be so melodramatic. I just don't want everything I worked hard for all my life for my family to go back to a white man. I don't want my daughter being used by a white man the way they have always used our women and I definitely don't want my grandchildren to be shunned from their white family because they have black in them. If you can't understand that then I guess you and Sean should leave."  
  
"You can't make my choices for me daddy, so if that's the way you want it then so be it. Come on Sean. Get me out of this racist house." Elana turned around and hurried toward the front door with Sean following slowly behind her. He figured the less he said the better. His presence said enough about how he felt for Elana.  
  
Denise Powers was ashamed of how her husband was reacting. "George I don't believe you're going to let her go like that! This girl pined away for that boy all through college and she's only brought one man home in the past nine years. It seems that she knows she's found someone who can really love her. And now it's to the point that she's choosing him over you. Honey she shouldn't have to make a choice like that. She shouldn't have to choose between a father who adores her and wants the best for her and a man who loves and cherishes her and wants to give her the best. Our daughter deserves both George."  
  
"What about what we've built Denise, you know it'll eventually all go to her and that white family of his."  
  
"From what I hear Sean is a pretty good business man and you might be happy for him to take over things and there are always our grandchildren, whom you will never see if you make her do this. And if it's that important to you donate everything to the African Historical Society. You'll get a bronze bust made of your image and it will serve as an eternal remembrance of you in the black community. Then you won't have to worry about any white man getting his hands on what you worked for.  
  
Gail had been sitting in the corner listening to everything. "Um, Mr. and Mrs. Powers. I have to tell you from experience that Sean really loves Elana. I've never seen anything like the two of them when they're together. He practically worships the girl and I have to say she feels the same way about him. He's never taken advantage of her and to this day he's really been honorable towards her in every way."  
  
"But Gail there are so many good black men she could get with. Doctors, lawyers, even that psychiatrist she was with was an excellent choice. I would love to see her get with Jon Lambert. He's a lawyer and a CPA and they work so well together." Mr. Powers lamented.  
  
"Yeah, you're right they do, but I can tell you that Jon Lambert will screw anything with two legs and a skirt on and I don't think it'll make a difference if he's married or not. He's tried to come on to me more times than I can count, even while I was pregnant. And as for Henry, the psychiatrist, you haven't seen him knocking on your door after he and Elana split. If he really loved her like she needs to be loved then he would have been here like Sean has always been. And besides, Elana has tried to get with other black men. Nice ones the kind that you'd want her to be with, but there was only one problem."  
  
"What was that?" Denise Powers asked.  
  
"None of them were Sean Logan." Gail continued. "I can also tell you from experience that there's nothing more heart wrenching than loving someone so much when other people who you love don't accept your choice. It's like you've been betrayed all your life by those people, thinking they loved you unconditionally, when actually there were a few conditions, but you can't abide by them because it goes against your very existence. The result is that everyone looses out, because just as sure as Elana walked out of here tonight, she won't come back unless you show the man she loves some respect. You don't have to love him or fall all over him, but you do have to recognize that he's the main factor in your daughter's happiness and that should be reason enough to at least be cordial to him."  
  
"She's right George and you have to give the man credit. He's been around for, what has it been, thirteen or fourteen years now, which shows his loyalty to her. What other men have waited that long for a woman? I only know of one, Jacob, from the Bible. He waited fourteen years for Rachel, so don't you think it's time to give the man a break?"  
  
George Powers knew his wife and Gail were right. He still had strong feelings about not wanting his daughter to be with a white man, but he couldn't deny that Sean obviously loved her as much as he did. He thought that despite his objections he didn't want to lose his oldest daughter over any of this, so he reluctantly wiped his mouth with his napkin and got up from his seat then went in the direction that Sean and Elana had gone. He found them outside on the driveway by Sean's car, waiting for Gail. They were facing the passenger side of the car and Sean was standing behind Elana rubbing her shoulders while she was trying to contain her anger and sadness. Elana was sad for her father's not caring for Sean and she was angry that he was making her choose between the two men she loved, but she was not going to live her life with her father and her husband always at each other's throats.  
  
Watching them Mr. Powers could see how gentle and sensitive Sean was to Elana, who had never been a very emotional person. He remembered that as a little girl she never cried too much when she got upset, she just found a way around the situation and moved on. He knew none of her suitors stayed around too long because she was somewhat brash and extremely independent and most men were threatened by that, but for some reason she seemed to be softer with Sean, like she was with him when she was younger. "Sean." George called out and Sean turned around.  
  
"Daddy, we heard everything you had to say. Now you don't have to come out here and rub it in. As soon as Gail comes out of there we'll be on our way."  
  
"Wait Elana, let your dad say what he wants. It doesn't phase me."  
  
Elana just rolled her eyes and was quiet letting her father speak.  
  
"Sean, look. I'm sorry for giving you such a hard time. It's obvious you really have strong feelings for Elana and I've ignored that, thinking it would pass, but I guess after fourteen years I need to give it a rest. It's just hard handing your daughter over to another man, especially a white one. I made sure she would never have to depend on a man for anything, but I couldn't keep her from depending on a man to love her, so I guess all I have to do is give my blessings to that one who fulfills this need for her and my part is done. So you don't have to worry about me interfering with the two of you again. Sean I just ask that you treat her with love and respect and that you protect her from whatever negativity your family may want to put her through. You must know that she's not a fleeting flower and if you mess up she's not going to stand for it. She's like her mother, she'll give you all she has to give, she'll support you in all your endeavors whether it's a good idea or not, but if your wrong she's gonna let you know."  
  
"Thanks Mr. Powers. I'll keep all that in mind. I just want to get on with our lives. We've wasted too much time already."  
  
"Call me George, Sean, since you seem to be a permanent fixture around here. I can't seem to get rid of you, so I guess I'm gonna have to accept you." He said patting Sean on the shoulder. Elana hugged her father and thanked him for being more understanding. "Say, why don't you all come over for dinner in a few weeks. I know you'll need it Sean because as you know Elana can't cook worth a damn."  
  
"Daddy!"  
  
"Oh, sorry, you didn't tell him that. So Sean I guess she's been getting you to take her out to those fancy restaurants she likes all the time."  
  
"Yeah, she has."  
  
"Now you know why. Sorry baby girl. I didn't mean to tell on you. Don't worry Sean she can do just about anything else though."  
  
"Thanks Mr. Pow - George. We'll set something up, but right now we really need to be going because we have some friends we're trying to get to see." By this time Gail was coming outside with Chelsea and they all said their good-bye's and the four of them headed back to New York to drop Gail off. They talked about the relief of Mr. Powers finally relenting and promising to not interfere with Sean and Elana and somehow it seemed that everything was going to be alright. 


	35. SUGAR & SPICE

Once Sean and Elana dropped Gail and Chelsea off, they headed straight to New Jersey for Sam and Niki's home. On the drive down to Jersey, Sean called Sam letting him know they were running late then Sean and Elana talked about how flamboyant Gail was. Elana explained how Gail was more talk than anything and how she helped her stay out of trouble. She explained how she and Gail bartered their services in that Gail made most of her clothes in exchange for Elana doing her business taxes. Sean was happy that Elana had a friend like Gail because it seemed that Gail had looked after Elana for him all these years not letting her get involved with the wrong man.  
  
Eventually they were driving up to the Justice home, parked and got out. When Elana got out of the car Sean closed the door behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Did I tell you how much I love you today and how proud I was to see you stand up to your father for me?"  
  
"No, I don't recall you saying anything about that."  
  
"Well, I do love you and appreciate what you did. I know it took a lot for you to do that."  
  
"Yeah, it did, but I wasn't going to accept his interference anymore and I think we got that across."  
  
"We sure did. I can't wait to go to dinner with them and get to know your mother. I'm just sorry I didn't get a chance to speak to her while we were there."  
  
"You really didn't have much of a chance, but that'll change from hence forth." By this time Sean found himself exploring Elana's behind and couldn't stop himself. "Sean what are you doing?"  
  
"You know this is my favorite part of you, so I'm feeling you up. Is that o.k."  
  
"Yeah, go right ahead." Elana said as she started to kiss him.  
  
By that time Niki, looking out the window saw that Sean and Elana had arrived so she called Sam and went outside to find the two all hugged up against the utility van. "Well Sam said you two could never keep your hands off each other, so I'm assuming that's Sean and Elana with your faces locked together."  
  
When they heard Niki, Sean stopped and the two of them laughed sheepishly. "Elana, this is Niki Justice, Sam's wife."  
  
Elana held out her hand, but Niki ignored it and gave her a hug. "Sean, said you were prettier in person than your picture, but for some reason he didn't do you any justice. You are absolutely beautiful. You look a whole lot better than that other one he brought around here." Niki was about to get started, but Sam had come outside by then and put his arms around his wife's shoulders.  
  
"Elana, I see you met Nik. How's it goin'. You look wonderful. Almost haven't changed since college."  
  
"Thanks Sam and Niki. It's so good to get to meet you Niki. Sean talks about you two a lot."  
  
"Hope it's all good." Sam said slapping Sean on the back. "Come on in the house and meet the kids. Come on Sean."  
  
Niki, took Elana by the hand and they lingered behind the men as they hurried to the house talking about their business ventures. Elana found Niki to be a very attractive and smart woman. She knew all about financing and brokerage tactics, but you never would know looking at her and talking to her. She seemed like a perfectly domesticated housewife. Elana found that even though they had three kids, she was one of the top financiers at her brokerage firm, she took care of a husband, and she still managed to cook most of the family meals. Elana felt that she was superwoman and hoped Sean wouldn't expect her to do all of the same.  
  
The Justice children were all cute as buttons and well behaved. The oldest girl, Julie was the only one who did not inherit her mother's red hair, but she was also the only one who had her mother's grey eyes. Their second child Rosalee was almost two years old with red hair and dark eyes like her father and Sam Jr. was only five months old.  
  
Elana was taken with Rosalee, a frail looking little girl who seemed to be scared of everything, but she took to Elana immediately. As they all sat around in the living room chatting, Sean noticed how Elana related to little Rose. She seemed to always be happy around children and he couldn't help but think about the children they would have. It saddened him that their first child wouldn't inherit the family trust fund and thinking about it only made him angrier as he thought about how stupid he had been on that night with Sheridan. He figured there wasn't anything he could do about it now unless Sheridan had a miscarriage or if he could get Elana pregnant as soon as possible maybe she would deliver a few weeks earlier than Sheridan. He mulled over this for a few minutes as he nodded and agreed to the conversation that was going on around him. He thought that it wouldn't be impossible and Sheridan was not two months along yet.  
  
Elana noticed Sean staring at her and she smiled at him in the way that melted his heart. "Why are you staring at me sweetheart?" She asked.  
  
"Because, you're the only woman I see."  
  
Elana blushed at Sean's sweet words and he started kissing her.  
  
"I guess we'd better be going before Sean gets a little too happy in here." Niki said as she stood up and took Rose and the baby upstairs. The babysitter had just arrived, so Sam got up and got everyone's jackets so they could leave. He left Sean and Elana kissing in the living room until he came back.  
  
"I'm not gonna make it Elana." Sean said sowing his seed for what he was planning.  
  
"What do mean, honey."  
  
"I want to be with you tonight. We can ditch Sam and Niki and go to a nice hotel, so that you can let me unleash myself all over you."  
  
"Ooh Sean, such bold talk. I'm not sure you're up to being with me tonight. We've had a long day, especially with you doing all the driving, and I don't want you conking out on me."  
  
"There's not a chance in hell of that." He said as he moved to her neck and started to suckle the delicate skin.  
  
"Sean stop, why are you doing this now. We've had plenty of opportunities. We can't just run out on your friends like this."  
  
"They won't care Elana. Sam remembers how it was with us. Nothing has changed except for the fact that I don't think I have to beg you for it anymore."  
  
"No, Sean you don't, but I wouldn't feel right running out like that."  
  
"Running out like what?" Sam asked as he came back with everyone's jackets. "Sean won't you leave that woman alone. " He said as he threw Sean's leather jacket over his head.  
  
They all laughed as Niki came into the room. "Everybody ready?" She asked. "I can't wait to get out and have some fun."  
  
"Well actually, we wanted..." Sean started, consumed with the idea he was nurturing every second.  
  
"We wanted to know where the restroom is. I have to go before we leave." Elana said, cutting Sean off. She saw how Niki was looking forward to a night out with friends and she was looking forward to it herself and besides it was her time of the month so she could not do anything with Sean even if he did want to, but she thought he was just teasing her anyway.  
  
Sean saw that he was fighting a losing battle so he relented and started to put his coat on and they all waited for Elana to get back then they left to go bowling as they had planned. Sam drove their Lincoln Navigator to the bowling alley. On the way there Niki and Elana talked about finance and accounting and found that they both used a lot of similar techniques and that they had a lot in common. They took to each other very well and by the end of the night both women knew they had laid the foundations for a lasting friendship.  
  
"So, do you plan on expanding anytime soon. I read the article on your company in the Black Enterprise, it looks like you have a pretty good forecasting in view." Niki asked Elana.  
  
"Yeah, my partner and I hope to expand in Europe. It's a matter of licensing. Either we have to take the CPA exam for that country or we can bring on a European partner who would handle all of the business there."  
  
"My parents are still in Germany and my father knows a lot of people maybe I can ask him to check into some notable CPA's there. At least it's a start."  
  
"I'd like that." They exchanged cards and by this time they were at the bowling alley. Sam and Sean opened the back door for the ladies and they all went inside.  
  
Sean had never taken Elana to bowl so he did not know her skill level. After they went in, rented their shoes and picked an alley they decided to pick teams. "So who can bowl. Niki is the pro in our house and I'm o.k. Sean I remember you being pretty good in college."  
  
"Yeah, I spent many a night at the bowling alley trying to forget about this woman here." Sean said squeezing Elana up next to him.  
  
"I remember I was with you. What about you Elana, can you bowl."  
  
"Uh, I've played a few times." She said trying to mask her skills.  
  
"Well, we gotta make this even, so why don't we have the guys against the girls."  
  
Everybody agreed. Niki was first up and she had an eight and missed the last two on her spare. Sam went next and hit a strike. Sean hit a strike on his turn and Elana bowled a six, then knocked out four pins on her spare. The men figured they had the game wrapped up and would thus show the women up. The second round went pretty much the same but on the third round, Elana started bowling strikes and during the last seven rounds she bowled strikes bringing her and Niki's game to 247 while Sam and Sean ended the game with a 175.  
  
Needless to say Niki and Elana rubbed in their win and they wouldn't let Sean and Sam forget about it all the way to dinner. They went to eat at a dimly lit, cozy restaurant where everyone could sit back and relax, dance or sing karaoke at the bar if they wanted to. The two couples took a side booth, facing the dance floor, and the ladies sat on the inside and the men sat on the ends. They ordered their food and talked while they waited.  
  
"So when are you two getting married?" Niki asked.  
  
"Nik, what you ask them that for. They just got back together." Sam scolded.  
  
"Well, I don't know who you've been with all night, but I've been with a couple that looks like they should be getting married or they're gonna spontaneously combust or something. You two belong together. That's obvious for anyone to see, so what I asked is just a natural question fitting the circumstances. So when's it gonna be Sean?"  
  
Sam relented because as always Niki was right even though she was outspoken and bold to ask.  
  
Sean did not know how to answer without giving anything away. I'm not sure yet. Hopefully it'll be soon."  
  
"What do you mean hopefully, haven't you asked her yet."  
  
"No, he hasn't Niki. I don't know what he's waiting for." Elana mused sipping her drink.  
  
"What are you waiting for Sean? Cause I want to know." Niki asked looking directly at Sean.  
  
"Um. Well it's a little complicated. I've just had some news and Elana and I are trying to figure out how we'll deal with it."  
  
"What news?"  
  
"Sean's ex girlfriend is pregnant." Elana volunteered.  
  
"WHAT? You talking about Sheridan? OH GOD! Somebody hold me up because I think I'm going to pass out! Sean how could you do such a stupid thing! Oh God! I can't even see how you could sleep with that conniving wench! I told you she was going to try something like this to hook you. How could you do this?"  
  
"I was drunk Niki. She had just started talking about Elana and shown me her pictures and I was about to see her that Monday, so I just started loading up on the Vodka and before the night was over she said I forced myself on her without a condom and the rest is history."  
  
"Forced yourself on HER? God she's good. She probably helped you guzzle down those glasses so she could take you back to that devil's lair of hers and put this curse on you. She planned that. I'd bet my house on it!"  
  
"Well, get this; she also has asked for an expense account of $5,000 a month." Elana told her.  
  
"WHAT? What's she gonna do with that kind of money. Let me tell you when I got pregnant the first time. Sam was buying everything he saw for the baby and he still didn't spend anywhere near that much money. Neither of us did combined. Sean you listen to me, you get yourself a lawyer and you make sure every dealing you have with her is through the court system. Isn't that right honey?" She asked seeking verification from her lawyer husband.  
  
"Yeah Sean, Niki is right you shouldn't have to pay out that kind of money, man especially if you are not together."  
  
"You know Sam, I'm not even worried about that little money. What really has me upset is the trust fund. With her having this baby it means that it will be the eldest child and so all of the trust fund will go to her baby. I'll be the executor, but eventually it'll all go to Sheridan's family and it'll be out of the Logan family for good."  
  
"Isn't Sheridan gonna give the child your name." Sam asked.  
  
Niki volunteered to answer. "Oh, you can be sure she'll do that! She'll probably name the child Logan Logan just so there won't be any mixups."  
  
"Now wait a minute Sean, what are the stipulations of the trust fund?" Sam wanted to know.  
  
"Well, it states that the firstborn child of the eldest child receives the trust fund when they reach age 25. What happens is that he or she will receive the interest on the money and the principle will stay in the coiffures to collect more interest which will be handed to the next eldest child." Sean answered.  
  
"Does it say anything about legitimacy?"  
  
"No, I was telling Elana that back when it was set up, they really didn't have those issues."  
  
"Oh, yes they did Sean. You remember the slave master and the slave girl, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah, but this was after slavery. This was in the early 1900's."  
  
Maybe so, but I'm sure much of the wording probably did not change for years after slavery was abolished. You have to remember their were still miscegenation laws forbidding interracial couples to marry, so a lot of times white men may have had legitimate white wives, but interracial children on the side, so when they left trust funds or wills they would have to state that their legitimate children receive whatever."  
  
"Well, I see your point, but I'm sure my great, great grandfather didn't have any illegitimate children. According to grandpa, he really loved his wife, so knowing how much I love Elana, I can't imagine him in that situation."  
  
"Yeah Sean , but despite how much you love her you are in that situation yourself, so you never know, your old ancestor may have had a little brown sugar on the side man. Shoot you might have some black relatives somewhere, which I wouldn't be surprised because you know I always said you were a brother in a white man's skin. You had to get that jungle fever from somewhere. I know where mine came from."  
  
Everyone laughed at Sam's remark as he continued to admonish Sean to look over the wording of the trust fund, which may indicate that the inheritor must be a legitimate child and not borne out of wedlock. This did give Sean some hope and they all discussed it over their dinner. Afterwards, they all went to the karoake bar and played around on the microphone and laughed until their guts hurt. Sean sang 'Can You Stop the Rain' by Peabo Bryson to Elana. Then Niki and Sam sang 'I Got You Babe' by Sonny and Cher. When they finished entertaining themselves everyone in the place clapped for them. They took their bows and went back to their seats for dessert.   
  
Looking over the dessert menu as the waitress waited for their order, they all decided what they wanted. "I don't want any dessert, tonight I think I'll take another Pepsi." Niki told the girl.  
  
"I'll have the same. What about you guys?" Sam asked Sean and Elana.  
  
"I'll take a chocolate fudge sundae, please with maple walnut ice cream." Elana asked.  
  
"I'll have what she's having." Sean said pointing to Elana.  
  
Elana was impressed with Sean's singing to her, so she wanted to do something to show her appreciation and to show how much she loved it when he sang to her, so before the waitress could get away Elana stopped her. "Wait, instead of two sundae's could you just bring one medium sized, please."  
  
"You still want the maple walnut ice cream?" The waitress asked.  
  
Elana turned to Sean as she answered the waitress. "No make it vanilla UNDER the hot fudge."  
  
"Would you like hot fudge on the bottom too."  
  
"Most definitely." Elana said as she draped her legs across Sean's thighs.  
  
The waitress got a little embarrassed when she realized what Elana was really talking about, so she quickly gathered up the menus and went on her way.   
  
"Ooh, what's gotten into you?" Sean asked as he lightly rubbed her calves. He loved the feel of her strong legs and started to imagine how tightly she would wrap them around him soon.  
  
"Nothing yet." Elana teased as she started to play with the curls in the top of Sean's hair.  
  
Sam could see that they were about to get started. So he hoped he could get their minds on something else. "So, Sean what about the jazz club, I saw that it's pretty much busting at the seems. I was thinking we ought to try and expand. What do you think?"  
  
"Yeah, Sam that sounds good." Sean answered not looking Sam's way as he enjoyed Elana rubbing the back of his neck while she stared at him.   
  
Sean knew when she could look directly at him for long periods of time she was trying to get him aroused even though as far as he was concerned it really didn't take that much.  
  
Niki didn't have much to say, she was already amazed that they couldn't keep their hands off each other even while they were competing during the bowling session, so in the short period of time she had known them as a couple she had gotten used to their almost blatant public displays of affection, so she just enjoyed the music while she and Sam talked.  
  
When the desserts came back, Sean and Elana broke their gaze. The waitress had put two spoons in the sundae for them, but Elana took one out and handed it back to the girl. "We won't be needing this one, thank you." She said and then she took the sundae from the table and held it in front of her. She took a small spoonful of ice cream and held it right above the dish making Sean lean into her to get it. He took the spoon in his mouth and slowly slid away from it leaving it empty. Elana frowned up at him as she did the same thing again and this time he left some for her and she turned the spoon upwards facing her and licked the rest off. The next spoonful she added some hot fudge with the ice cream and Sean took it all in as she fed it to him. As Elana repeated her ritual, Sean was inching his hand up the inside of her skirt until he reached her upper thigh and lingered there in a soft caress. Sam and Niki got a little flushed, listening to Sean and Elana's soft sighs in between the erotic fudge feeding Elana was giving to Sean. She didn't know what, but Niki could tell that something else was happening under the table to cause all of this and she had a sudden need to give them some privacy.  
  
"Um, honey, why don't we go dance or something?"  
  
"Huh?" Sam was enjoying watching his two friends, but he was also trying to act like he didn't notice, but his answer told on him.  
  
"Something wrong with you Sam Justice?"  
  
"Who me, Oh no honey. Dance you say. Yeah. come on!" Sam said trying to redeem himself while he got up quickly and took Niki by the hand as they moved to the dance floor. The restaurant was crowded but the booth was in a dark spot so nobody really noticed what was going on with Sean and Elana. By this time Sean was freely rubbing Elana's thigh as he enjoyed her feeding him the fudge and ice cream together and he could only guess what the figurative meaning was behind her licking the spoon clean.   
  
After Elana had fed Sean the last spoonful of ice cream and fudge. Sean was ready to take her somewhere and have his way with her as he carried out his earlier plan. When the ice cream was gone, Sean placed light kisses on Elana's lips. "You win baby." He whispered to her.  
  
"I win what?" She asked returning his kisses.  
  
"I can't wait any more. I'll bet you taste as sweet as that fudge, girl."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Why don't you let me take you somewhere, so I can find out?"  
  
"I'd love too honey, but my cycle is on. We picked a bad day."  
  
"So, what."  
  
"Sean!"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry honey." Sean said as he realized that he wouldn't be able to carry out what he wanted to do with her cycle on. "How long is that gonna be happening?"  
  
"A few more days."  
  
"Damn!" Sean was disappointed, but he also knew that she would not be ovulating until at least two weeks after that, so his plans were foiled, but that didn't make his arousal go away, by this time he knew he had to take care of that if nothing was happening with them tonight. Sam and Niki had come back to the table from dancing and could see that Sean was flustered while Elana sat there smiling, happy that she had finally broken him down.  
  
"You guys alright?" Sam asked.  
  
"I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." Sean announced as he was getting up.  
  
Sam just put his hand over his brow hoping his friends wasn't about to embarrass himself. Niki was just amazed at how the two of them acted without caring who was around.  
  
"Um, will you guys be doing that type of thing whenever we go out? Because I don't know if I can handle that. I don't know what you all were doing under that table, but whatever it was Elana you're gonna have to tell me about it later. In the meantime, where's that waitress. Sam maybe you and I can order a sundae and share it like they did." Niki said teasing her husband.  
  
Eventually, it was getting late and they decided that it was time to go home, Sam noticed that Sean was tired so he offered them to stay overnight and they could all have breakfast in the morning and then Sean and Elana could go home. Niki showed them their rooms and warned them that there was no hanky panky allowed in her house if you were not married. Sean had no problem complying since he and Elana couldn't get together anyway. Everyone adjourned to their rooms while Sean thought about what the possibilities were of Elana giving birth before Sheridan did. He decided he would call his doctor and ask him tomorrow after he dropped Elana off. Then he turned over and went to sleep dreaming about how he would make love to Elana within the next few weeks. 


	36. SCHEMES PLANNED & BURDENS LIFTED

Sunday morning Niki got up and made breakfast for everyone. Sean and Elana really enjoyed the family atmosphere and as they left they all promised that they would be spending more time together. Sean let Elana drive them back to her townhouse and he was cautious not to go in with her. They kissed each other goodbye and Sean told Elana that he had some things to do and that he would try to see her that night, if not the next day at work. They parted in high spirits, and on a new realm now that the treat of Elana's father was removed. All they had to worry about now was Sean's father, Philip whenever he decided to come home from his trip around the world. Sean actually needed to be away from Elana for a while, so that he would not be frustrated any longer. As he drove home he thought more about the idea of Elana having their child before Sheridan and he was anxious to call the doctor. He also, thought about what Sam had said and decided he would contact the family lawyer to get a copy of the trust stipulations.  
  
The following week came and went quickly. Sean spent more and more time in Elana's office during the day, they went to lunch together everyday and they left together every afternoon. Finally Charlotte began to piece together that something was going on between them and that Friday at lunchtime, she shared this with her friend, Jessica from Collections...  
  
"Well, they must be doing something together, because you hardly see them apart from each other these days." Charlotte told Jessica on their lunch break in the cafeteria.  
  
"I don't think so. I don't see Mr. Logan with a black woman. I mean she's pretty and all, but she is black and he's the president of the company."  
  
"You know how men are. No matter how nice they seem. Most of them have a goal of being with as many women as possible."  
  
"I don't know. Mr. Logan doesn't seem to be that type."  
  
"He may not be, but with a woman like her what man is gonna say no. My take on this is that this Ms. Powers is successful because she probably fools around with all the top executives of the firms she works with. What better targets at Crealiite than the Vice President of the company who is also independently wealthy or the President of the company, himself. I'll bet she does this sort of thing everywhere she goes. You know they say that black women can't control themselves and that they'll sleep with anybody any time. That's why some executives are with them. I'll bet she tried her moves on James Payton and he got tired of her after so long, so now she's working on Sean Logan."  
  
"Wow, that would be really bold of her. Maybe it's just that she has to spend so much time with Mr. Logan because of the audit she's doing here. I just don't think there's anything going on and if their was maybe they really like each other."  
  
"Yeah, but he has a girlfriend already."  
  
"I heard that they broke up." Jessica said.  
  
"Where'd you hear that from?"  
  
"One of the girl's husband's took her to lunch at that fancy place down the street a month or so ago and she said Sean and Sheridan were there and that they were arguing over the break up. Mr. Logan had just broken up with her and Ms. Winthrop didn't like it and said something about taking him to court over it. When it seemed that things were going to erupt he got up and walked out."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Wow, I didn't know that. So if he's single, that means I may be able to get with him now." Charlotte said.  
  
"Didn't you say you thought he's seeing Ms. Powers."  
  
"I'm not worried about her. Sean has always liked me it's just that he has been so loyal to his girlfriend and now that they're not together, I need to let him know that I'm available."  
  
"Look Charlotte, you have tried this before and Sean never really paid you any attention. Don't make a fool out of yourself. And if he is seeing Ms. Powers, I don't think you want to go treading on that ground. You're obviously two different type of people and she may be more his type."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well she's kind of conservative and stylish and she's serious about her work, but you on the other hand aren't too conservative and half the clothing she wears we probably can't even afford it. I remember these alligator pumps she had on one day. I've seen shoes like that in the store windows that I don't go in and they cost a few hundred dollars. Mr. Logan probably is attracted to all of those things about her, so if you ask me Charlotte you really don't have a chance against her."  
  
"What does all that have to do with anything? I'm stylish. And besides she's black and there's no way in the world a man like Sean Logan is ever going to be serious about a black woman."  
  
"All I know is, he's a good looking man, she's a good looking woman and they're both on the same level. Mr. Logan doesn't strike me as the prejudice type, so he may not even care anything about color. Just be careful. Look I have to get back to work. I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Yeah, o.k."  
  
Jessica and Charlotte went back to their offices. Jessica knew from the brief contact she had with her boss that Charlotte was not his type and she could see that Charlotte was about to get herself in over her head this time. She liked Ms. Powers, even though, the woman was not always smiling in her face. She never noticed her flirting with any of the executives in her department and actually admired her attitude and intended to ask Elana for some advice on how to conduct herself in order to succeed in the business world.  
  
The following Tuesday, Elana was in her office and on the phone with Jon. It seemed that one of their staff accountants had some problems with one of their clients in Boston. Jon indicated that someone should go up there and help her out, but he could not go because the Coca-Cola account required him to be at the site everyday. Jon knew that with Elana dating Sean, she would be able to get a way for a few days...  
  
"Elana you have to go to Boston and help the girl out. If someone doesn't help her we may lose this account. You know she gets nervous and she may even be a little unsure of herself. If she had some backup, it could make all the difference."  
  
"Jon, I can't just drop everything here and go jetting up there to rescue her. She's going to have to learn how to tough it out. We told her in her interview that we're very progressive and that she would have to know how to handle the pressure. If she can't cut it Jon, maybe we should think about replacing her. This is the second time something like this has happened with her."  
  
"Look Elana I'm not asking you to go and do it for her, just go and help her out a little and let her know that she's doing the right things. This girl has a lot of potential and in the long run she's really going to be an asset to us all. You know Sean Logan won't have a problem with you being out a few days."  
  
"Man, I don't believe this!" Elana said throwing her pencil down on the desk. "O.k. I'll go up there for a few days. Let's see today is Tuesday, so I'll leave first thing tomorrow morning and stay until Monday and I'll come back here next Tuesday. I'll work with her over the weekend. I'm not going to do this again and I'll make it perfectly clear to Sheila when I get up there. Just make sure Barbara makes the arrangements and fax them to me. Right now, I need to go and finish up what I'm doing here."  
  
"Good, just remember to dress warm. Sheila says it's really cold up there."  
  
"Thanks for the tip. Talk to you later."  
  
Elana hung up the phone and was frustrated that she had to go to Boston. She tried to convince herself that it was because she did not feel she should have to do this for a staff accountant, maybe one of the juniors, but what she actually was anxious about was that she would be away from Sean for a week. She knew that since last weekend he was ready to be with her and she was looking forward to it after her cycle went off. She had planned to invite him over and just do as Gail had told her and offer herself on a silver platter to him, but now that would be delayed for a few more days, because of the incompetence of other people.  
  
After thinking about it a little longer Elana realized that she had to stop blaming Sheila, who was a good accountant. She was just young and needed encouragement and Elana knew the young woman looked up to her a lot, so Elana put her own frustrations aside so that she could go help Sheila out as much as she could. When lunchtime came around Sean showed up on time as usual at her door.  
  
"You ready beautiful." He asked.  
  
"Yeah." Elana said as she got up to get her coat out of the closet.  
  
Sean came on in and closed the door and as Elana put her coat on Sean came up behind her to help her out. After he got her coat on he stood and watched her make sure she looked alright. He had been trying not to touch her too much this week because he knew where it would lead after the past weekend they had together.  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry I was unable to get by this morning to say hello, but I was so busy working on a few projects that I didn't have a chance." He said. "Don't worry, you look great. I'm starving."  
  
"O.k. let's go." Elana said as she closed the closet door and turned around and let Sean escort her out. When they passed Charlotte's desk Sean asked her to take his messages while he was at lunch.  
  
Charlotte agreed and watched as they made their way to the elevator. She distinctly saw Sean rub Elana's lower back as they waited for the elevator. She found herself fighting jealousy over Elana because Sean had pretty much given Elana free reign of the company. Whatever Elana asked for she was supposed to be given and it did not need to be cleared through Sean as he had told her. Charlotte knew nobody else had that privilege, not even the board members and it only confirmed her suspicions. This also helped her to see that Ms. Powers already had some hold on Sean, but as far as she was concerned that grip was not so strong that it could not be broken. Charlotte became determined that she was going to make sure she was the one with Sean Logan no matter what she had to do.   
  
At lunch Elana had to inform Sean that she needed to be away for a few days.  
  
"How are things going at Powers and Lambert?"  
  
"They're going pretty well. We are having a problem with a Boston account. One of our staff accountants is working on it, but she needs some support for a few days to make sure she's on the right tract."  
  
"Oh, so is Jon going up to help her?"  
  
"Um, no - no he isn't. Actually I need to go, just to look over what she's done and to give her some recommendations as well as help her have a little more confidence. This is her first major account that she's doing by herself."  
  
"Well, shouldn't you just let her ride it out and see how she does. You know none of us can get anywhere if we don't fail on our own a few times."  
  
"I see what you're saying, but I don't want her to fail with my name behind her."  
  
"So when is this going to happen."  
  
"I need to go up there tomorrow and I plan on staying until Monday."  
  
"That's six days Elana! I can't be without you for six days. One day during the weekend is enough, but six whole days!"  
  
"I know Sean, I don't want to go, but I have to. I'm a stickler about our reputation and I can't have this woman messing that up because of her insecurities."  
  
"So what about things here. Will Crealite be put on hold?"  
  
"No, I'll be putting these reports together to present to the executive staff sometime when I get back. We're going to have to apprise them all of what's going on and maybe they'll be able to shed some light on it."  
  
"What if one of them is responsible for this. Won't having a meeting revealing your suspicions give that person a head's up and make them try to cover their tracts."  
  
"That's exactly what I'm hoping they will do if one of them is responsible. I've pretty much traced every piece of paperwork that has come into and left the collections office for the past three years. So if someone tries to go back and cover something up, I'll be able to catch it once I go back over everything near the end of this analysis."  
  
"Hum. I see. Well, I want you to be cautious who you deal with around the company because if someone is stealing money from the firm there's no telling what else they may be capable of, so just watch yourself."  
  
"I will. Now there is something I wanted to give you." "Here."  
  
"Hey, What's this? A Gift for me?"  
  
"Yeah, go a head and open it."  
  
Sean opened the neatly wrapped package and found that it was a picture of the two of them when they were in college and Sean had come to Georgia to see her for the last time before they were separated. "Elana, where did you get this?"  
  
"I had the smaller picture that I had kept for years, but I recently found it while I was doing some cleaning and decided to get it blown up for you and me, so that we could remember how happy we were together then and I also think it'll help us pick up where we left off."  
  
"You're certainly right Elana. You're even more beautiful now than you were nine years ago. Look at us. Who would have thought we would go through what we have to get together? So many wasted years." Sean said as he stared at the picture.  
  
"I definitely think you're sexier now than you were then, but I do miss you wearing more hair on your head. You know I loved to run my fingers through it, but now you only have a little on top."  
  
"Yeah, I had to get rid of some of that hair." Sean sat across from Elana and began to stare at her imagining what might have been if they had not been apart. "Elana?" He said taking hold of her hand.  
  
"Yes." She said looking up at him and responding with an affectionate smile.  
  
"Do you remember what I told you later on that night, after we almost made love?"  
  
"I remember very well, Sean. I remember that weekend more vividly than anything else in my life."  
  
"Well, just know that the same is true now. Sheridan and this baby haven't changed anything. I still intend for us to be together as husband and wife, so don't get discouraged or think I'm holding back for some reason."  
  
"I won't. Thank you for telling me that. I was starting to wonder."  
  
"Yeah, I know. I heard what you said to Niki last weekend." "But look it's getting late I have to get back to the office. I have meetings all afternoon and I know you have a lot of work to do before you leave today."  
  
Sean motioned for the waiter and he paid for their lunch then he and Elana went back to the office. When they came out of the elevator Charlotte had messages for them both.  
  
"Mr. Logan your lawyer is here for your two o'clock meeting. He's been waiting for a few minutes and Ms. Powers your secretary called with your travel itinerary and faxed it."  
  
"Where is it?" Elana asked.  
  
"It's over in the fax machine." Charlotte said as she pointed at the fax machine as if to tell Elana to go get it herself.  
  
Sean interjected. "Could you make a copy of that Charlotte for me and then give it to Ms. Powers."  
  
"Sure I'll have the copy right away Mr. Logan. Will you be having a long meeting? If so I can bring in some coffee for you and Mr. Rothberg."  
  
"That's nice of you Charlotte. I don't want any, but I'll see if he would like some or anything else."  
  
"No problem Mr. Logan. You know I'm happy to do whatever it is you need me to do to make things run more smoothly around here for you."  
  
Elana was standing there waiting for any other messages she may have received, but Charlotte had her eyes so glued on Sean that Elana was almost invisible.  
  
"Excuse me Ms. Braumly," Elana interrupted knocking on her desk. "...but are there any other messages for me."  
  
"Oh, yes here you are." Charlotte handed Elana a pile of almost illegible messages that she had scribbled down haphazardly.  
  
"I don't see the message from Barbara did she need me to call her back for anything?"  
  
"I don't remember, I just took the message that she was faxing your itinerary."  
  
Elana could see that Charlotte was intentionally slighting her and she was about to give her a piece of her mind before Sean started to speak.  
  
"Come on Elana. I have to get that material from your office before I go into this meeting."  
  
"What mat..." Before she could finish asking her question, Sean was holding her arm and walking her into her office, then he closed the door behind him. "Sean what material are you talking about?"  
  
"I don't know that was just a rouse to get you in here." He said as he took her coat out of her arms and put it on the chair next to them. "I'm not going to see you for six days so I just wanted to say that I love you and I'm going to miss you. Actually I miss you already. And thanks for the picture of us. I think this may be the only one we have."  
  
"I think you're right. And I'm going to miss you too."  
  
Sean moved into her and hugged her waist and kissed her tenderly. With each moment their kiss became more fervent and expressive knowing they would not have this for almost a week. They did not want to let each other go and were parted only by Charlotte's voice on Elana's speakerphone  
  
"Mr. Logan?" She called, but neither of them answered at first. Then Charlotte called again "Mr. Logan?"  
  
Finally Sean reached over and pushed the speaker button, but he still did not remove his eyes from Elana's as she softly rubbed his chest muscles. "Yeah Charlotte! What is it?"  
  
"Um, I was just reminding you about Mr. Rothberg. He's been waiting for almost fifteen minutes now."  
  
"Thanks Charlotte. You don't have to call me again." He said as he hung up the speaker function, then spoke to Elana. "When I ask you to marry me Elana I want the mood and the atmosphere to be right, so that I'll be pretty sure of your answer, and I promise it won't be long from now."  
  
"You should already know the answer Sean before you even ask me."  
  
"I don't want to assume anything." "Let me get out of here I'll try to see you before you leave if not I'll call you tonight and every night until you get back."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Yeah, I promise." He said smiling at her. "O.k. I gotta go. I love you."  
  
"I love you too Sean."  
  
He left with his picture still in his hand and picked up the copy of Elana's itinerary from Charlotte before he entered his own office.  
  
"Mr. Rothberg how are you?" Sean said as he came in and extended his hand to the family lawyer.  
  
"Fine Mr. Logan. Just fine."  
  
"Please excuse my delay, but I had some matters to attend to that took a little longer than I anticipated." Sean explained as he made his way to his desk and put down the materials in his hands.  
  
"That's quite alright, sir."  
  
Sean was now hanging up his coat in the closet. "May I ask Charlotte, my secretary, to get you anything?"  
  
"No, that's quite alright. I'm fine."  
  
"Do you have the material I asked you to bring?"  
  
"Yes, I do." Mr. Rothberg said as he put his briefcase on Sean's desk and opened it. "I brought the complete written document to the trust fund that you wanted to see. There's not much to it. It seems that your great, great grandmother initiated it after the sale of their tobacco fields in Ohio and before they moved to Connecticut. Your great, great grandfather signed it and it hasn't been changed since. What exactly is it that you need to know."  
  
"Well, I wanted to know the provisions of the trust. Does the inheritor have to be a legitimate child or does it include the illegitimate children also?"  
  
Mr. Rothberg thought this was a strange question for Sean because he had known him all of his life. He knew Sean had been dating Sheridan Winthrop for some time now because her father was one of his good friends and business associates. Within that few seconds, he noticed the picture that Sean had put face up on his desk, so he surmised that Sean may have gotten this woman in trouble and was now worried about the effects it would have on his family trust.  
  
"If we look here under the beneficiaries of the trust, that question will be answered for us. As you see here in paragraph two it states: 'The benefits of this trust shall be distributed solely to eldest legitimate offspring of the eldest Logan child. In the case of multiple offspring during the initial birth, the siblings shall divide the proceeds of the trust equally.' I believe she put this part in the trust because she and her husband had twins as their first children."  
  
"So, am I to understanding that illegitimate children are not included in the trust?"  
  
"That's right Mr. Logan, you have to be legally married to the mother and no provisions are stated herewith to provide for children produced outside that stipulation. That would fall on the individual to take care of his responsibility in that matter." Mr. Rothberg purposefully added.  
  
  
  
Sean felt a sense of great relief knowing that now his and Elana's first child would receive the benefits of the family trust. "Well, thank you Mr. Rothberg. I needed to know that because I plan on getting married soon and it's not to the woman who is pregnant with my child right now, so I wanted to make sure that the future children my wife and I have will get the benefits of this. And I do plan to provide for this baby that is on the way."  
  
"Sir, I have to say that Ms. Winthrop is a very understanding woman to still agree to marry you after hearing this news. She's the type of woman who seems to be able to take any situation and make it positive. Does she even know about the pregnancy?""  
  
Sean suddenly remembered Rothberg's relationship with Sheridan's father and was cautious of what he said after that. "She's well aware of it."  
  
"Good. So when do you two plan on marrying?"  
  
"Mr. Rothberg I wish I had more time, but I don't. I appreciate your coming up here to give me this information. You'll never know what a burden it has lifted off my shoulders."  
  
"Why anytime Mr. Logan. Just call whenever you need us. I'll be out of the office all day, but if you have any other questions, please leave me a message."  
  
"Sure Mr. Rothberg. Thanks again."  
  
Sean happily saw the lawyer out. As he went about the rest of his day he felt he could now deal with Sheridan on a more equal level. He was unsure as to what her reaction would be to knowing that she would not be getting her hands on the Logan trust fund, but he knew it would not be pleasant. He decided he would not mention it unless she did. At the end of the day after finishing his business, it was late and he knew Elana had gone. Before he left, Sean picked up the picture of him and Elana and Elana's itinerary, then headed for home. He wanted to call her before she got too busy packing. 


End file.
